Chapter 4 THE GRANDFATHER CLOCK

THE GRANDFATHER CLOCK

in the corner of the living room ticked to 7:51. Flora wished with all her might that she could turn back the hands of time to one hour and forty-eight minutes ago. At exactly 6:03 p.m. That's when this whole nightmare had started.

"Why now? Why tell me now Richard ?" Flora asked hoarsely, as the ticking of the clocked matched the beating of her heart.

"Because the guilt was killing me. Because you had a right to know. Because I knew it wasn't something I could keep from you forever. But most of all because I love you and I don't want to lose you," Richard said. "I can't lose you, Flora. I love you. You're everything to me."

"You love me? I'm everything to you?" Flora laughed humorlessly, her throat sore from the guttural screams and ocean of tears she'd shed.

Richard had held her through the whole nightmare over the last hour, never saying a word. As warm tears slipped down her cheeks and he stroked her hair, Flora realized that it was probably the last time she'd ever be in his arms. The tears had flowed faster at that realization, and were threatening to overtake her again.

Flora's breath caught in her chest as she tried to control herself so she could speak. "Let me get this straight. You're telling me that you've been cheating on me; that you have a one-month old baby with some slut you met god knows where, and you want me," she said, putting her index finger to her chest, "to somehow find it in my heart to work things out with you? Have you lost your ever-loving mind?!" she exploded.

"I know it's bad Flora. But ... but ... ah hell, I'm not trying to justify anything. It's just, since the first day we met, all you ever talked about was getting your law degree and being partner at some big firm. You made that your priority; not our marriage. Us; our relationship – it took a back seat somewhere along the way. You know it did," Richard pleaded, trying to make her understand things from his point of view.

Flora shook her head violently. "So this is my fault? The fact that you couldn't keep your dick in your pants is somehow my fault?!" Flora raged, shaking her head back and forth, rejecting everything he said.

"I'm not saying-"

Flora interjected. "The fact that I wanted a better future, not just for me, but for us ... this is the penalty I have to pay Richard ? Is that what you want me to believe? How could you do this to me? To us? I ... Oh god how could you," she whispered brokenly, out of words and patience for trying to make sense of the situation.

"What did you expect from me? You were never here!" Richard erupted, desperate to make her understand. "You were on your path and nothing or no one was going to stop you. Not me. Not our marriage. Not our dreams. Nothing! Even when my company almost went under, it barely registered with you Flora," he continued. "You were like the energizer bunny. You just kept going and going and going."

"Because I had to god dammit! Who helped you get it back on track? Who worried with you? And speaking of, you never had to worry. Not really," she said, pointing her finger at him. "You know you didn't because I've always been there. I've always had your fucking back! Who wrote check after check after check. The mortgage. Your business insurance. Your truck payment. Hell, I even covered payroll for you! If that's not being there then I don't know what the hell is! Was I supposed hold your hand and be your shrink, your banker, and your whore, all rolled into one?! I have a career too and that career paid the bills for both of us when one of us – you! – couldn't!"

Richard threw his hands up in exasperation. "It's always about money with you isn't it? I needed my wife; not her fucking checkbook, and if I needed you to hold my hand, what's so wrong with that? Or does it make me less of a man in your eyes?"

"So instead of telling me that, you went out and found some slut to lay up with, make a baby with, and destroy our lives with? Does that make you feel like more of a man Richard ? You should have come to me but no, you went out time and time and time again, fucking some skank because your feelings were hurt! You're a piece of work, you know that. A real piece of work. I don't care how you try to spin this Richard Michaels. It was you who broke us. You! Your actions and yours alone! So don't you dare lay this on me. Be a man," Flora spit out sarcastically, "and own your shit!"

"She's not a skank or a slut," Richard said simply. "She's the mother of my child. I know that's your pain talking, but you don't need to go there Flora. You're better than that."

"You fuck around and make a baby on me and I'm the one who has to take the high road?" Flora said, wiping the stream of tears that came back with a vengeance. "Fuck you! Do you hear me. Fuck you Richard Michaels! And if I say she's a fucking slut, she's a fucking slut! If I call her a skank, then she's a fucking skank! And the spawn you all created is a bastard! Fuck you. Fuck her. And fuck your kid! How 'bout that you nasty, lying, two-timing sack of shit!"

"Stop it Flora!" Richard thundered, balling and unballing his fists. He'd never hit a woman in his life. It had never even occurred to him – until this moment.

Flora noticed his hands. "What? You want to hit me Richard ? Not only did you cheat on me, but now you want to beat me too? Go ahead, hit me," she said, shoving him. "Hit me!" she said, shoving him hard in the chest with both of her hands. "You might as well complete the trifecta. You lied. You cheated. So why not be the low-down dirty dog you are and hit me! Hit me!" she screamed, pushing him yet again. "You got your bitch and your bastard spawn to run off to! Hit me!" Flora screamed, slapping and punching him. She wanted – needed – for him to be in as much pain as she was in.

Richard backed away and held his hands up to fend off her blows. He leaned into a corner of their living room wall to let her exhaust her fury.

"You didn't have to do this to me. You didn't," Flora declared, huffing as she backed away from him and pushed flying tendrils of hair out of her eyes.

Her hoarse cries drained Richard of every emotion except desolation. "You have a right to be angry. I know I messed up. I know I hurt you, but my daughter is an innocent in this. Please don't take your anger out on an innocent child Flora."