Chapter 4 Don't Want Boys Anymore

ANASTASIA

Even though I've never met my parents, I was sure as hell that I had their genes. And the one I will forever be proud of is picking myself back up after being bruised and broken.

I was the type of trash that could easily be recycled. I picked myself back up and headed to the bar for some alcohol.

I couldn't go back home. I didn't want to be lonely when my heart was dying; I wouldn't be able to breathe.

I needed to stay outside where I could get enough air and probably drink off my sorrows. I recently started liking alcohol since Bennett started acting up.

I've always thought alcohol was useless, but I recently figured out that it isn't all that useless. It can stop you from feeling pain and take you to a different realm, and that was just what I needed.

I drank until I began to throw up. I thought I wouldn't be able to get up from the seat, but I was surprised at how I was able to walk and even drive.

Speaking of drive, I should never have thought of coming here again. It's late evening, and I'm currently standing in front of Bennett's house.

I know I'm not here for Ben, but thinking about it makes no sense. I shouldn't be here. I turn my heels and head back to my car when I hear his voice.

"In case you are looking for Bennett, he's not home." My chin trembles as I turn around to look at him standing in front of the door. Had he seen me when I drove in?

"Uhm, no, I'm not." I shake my head, rubbing my sweaty palm against my jeans. My palms get sweaty when I'm nervous, and my unconscious habit is to rub them against my jeans.

My eyes sting from pain as I stare at him. The water work wants to resume, and it will be so unfortunate to cry in front of him.

"Well, if not, you should return home." He sends me back, just as he did the last time.

Now I'm so full of rage that he keeps sending me back when I want to stay, and his son keeps breaking my heart.

"Go back home, little girl." He mumbles, and his sculpture is rigid. No smile, just nothing.

"I'm not a little girl!" I lash out when I can no longer control it. I hate the way he looks at me, like I'm a child, and the way he calls me a little girl.

"Then what are you?" He tilts his head, looking straight into my eyes.

I part my lips, " I'm a grown up. I turned twenty last month, so I'm not a child. So stop looking at me that way and quit calling me little girl!" I grit my teeth as tears fall down my cheek.

"And what way do you say I'm looking at you?" He still folds his hand around his broad chest, staring at me as he interrogates me as if I'm some culprit he wants to take to court.

"That way. As if I'm too small for what you said, that could ruin me." I lower my eyes; the tears have feelings of their own as they flood my face.

"And I wasn't wrong, little girl." He repeats, and I want to tear out my flesh from the heels of my palm.

"No, you are wrong, and enough of you pushing me away; I'm done getting hurt by your son as well." I don't know where the courage comes from; it's the alcohol, and I hope I don't bite my tongue out once the effect of the alcohol is gone.

He laughs. Just one low laugh from his lips. It's the first time I've ever seen him smile, and it gets my heart pumping faster.

"You see why I call you a little girl? You are drunk, and you can't place your words right." He drops his hand and throws the door open.

I walk closer to him with such fucking confidence. "I know I'm drunk, but I haven't lost my sense. If I did, I wouldn't be able to drive myself up here." I purse my lips as I can't tear my eyes off his face. There is so much beauty in one man.

"You are still drunk, little girl. Give me your phone; I will give your close friend a call to take you back home." He reaches out his hand to me, demanding my phone.

"I'm drunk, but I've not lost my mind. I can drive myself, and I can speak well too." My eyes pop out and redden like I'm begging.

"If you are not, why did you come here knowing fully well that Bennett isn't home by this time?" His brow pulls together as he takes back his hand.

"Because I have not been normal since I saw your cock. And I've decided that I don't want boys anymore." I tilt my head, pouring out my heart, even though I will regret it.

"You don't want boys anymore?" He narrows his green eyes, and some strand of his hair falls to his perfectly curved, spotless face.

"It's you I want." I purse my lips; his reaction is the same, but the tics in his jaw get harder. And his aura gets fierce.

"What did you say?" His deep voice sends shivers to my skin.

"I want you, not boys anymore." I am not frightened by the weight of my words.

"Not my son?" He asks, staring at my body, making sure that I don't fall because I'm wavering already and it's due to the alcohol.

"Fuck him." I dig my nails into the heel of my palm.

"I thought you loved him?" He folds his hand again across his chest, staring at my body, not just my face or my eyes, and I wonder why he's doing that. Maybe he can easily detect when it's about time for me to collapse.

"Not anymore. Not after he ditched me, and not after I've seen something way better." I soften my tone, even though I want to go mad whenever Ben is mentioned.

"I'm too old for you, little girl. And I have a wife." He puts his hand on my auburn-red hair, and I still. But I suddenly sense that he's caressing my hair like a little girl; he thinks I am not the adult standing in front of him.

I step back so that his hand will stop touching my hair. "That's the perfect reason I want you. I don't want to date boys anymore; they are not mature, and they break hearts." Tears trickle down my eyes as I mumble.

I gulp. "And I don't mind sharing you with her." My boldness heightens, and it scares me to death.

"You're exhausted, Anastasia. You need some rest; otherwise, you will break down." He tells me, and I want to argue further when he steps close and presses his lips against mine to seal it up for a few seconds.

I'm too shocked that I'm about to break down, plus everything I've been through and the alcohol.

"What does that mean?" I don't hear his reply when my head spins for a second until I can no longer hold myself. I'm collapsing to the ground when he catches me in his arms.