Chapter 2 This Is My Whole Life

AYANA'S POV

I saw my mom let out a long breath before she finally turned around and looked at me tiredly. "Ayana, this is for your own good."

I spontaneously clucked my tongue. "What's good, mom?" I asked angrily. Okay, it's time for me to fight my mom. I don't want to be controlled, this is my life. It's obvious that whatever decision I make, I make it myself.

"Ayana, listen and believe what I say. I'm sure this is the best thing for you, Doctor Pandu is the right match for you."

Oh, so the old man's name is Pandu. He's my future husband? Seriously? Well, I don't want to be his wife!

What the hell is my mom doing? Can't she find a man younger than him? At least my age. Don't be like this, what will my friends say if they find out? I'll be ridiculed all over again.

"How come you are managing my life anyway? I don't want to get engaged, let alone marry that old man!" I argued, already fed up. It's also annoying how long it takes.

"Ayana, I don't-"

"Don't manage how?" I cut in quickly. My temper was slowly rising, and I looked at my mom angrily. "I'm also still in high school, mom, and you also want me to continue my studies until I graduate? I can't stop thinking about you. What are you trying to do to victimize me like this? I don't want to get married, especially to an old man!"

I was completely out of breath after talking so insistently with my neck veins involved. My chest was rising and falling with emotion, and I tried to neutralize my uncontrolled breathing. My sharp gaze then drew me right into my mom's eyes.

For a moment, she didn't answer any of my rebuttals, until finally the busy woman let out a long sigh. She got up from her makeup chair and decided to sit next to me.

"Ayana, listen to me," she said while stroking my shoulder. "Don't underestimate marriage, it's not as bad as you think."

I was really annoyed with my mom. What did I ask, and what did she answer? But I refrained from listening to my mom for the time being.

"And you shouldn't underestimate Doctor Pandu either, Ayana. Although he's already twenty-eight years old, I'm sure he can take care of you. He's mature, his emotions are controlled, and he's not unstable anymore. And Doctor Pandu is also handsome."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I'm even more annoyed with my mom, my ears feel like they're going to burst listening to her constant praising of those shucks. "If he's handsome, why should I be the candidate? There must be a lot of women out there too."

Mama chuckled softly while flicking my nose. "Because my daughter is beautiful, so you're a match for him."

I swear, I'm really tired. Do I no longer have any hope of escaping this pit of problems?

"Now I ask once again, what is your motive for setting me up with that old man?"

"Be polite when you say it," Mom admonished. "It's not nice if Doctor Pandu hears what you're saying. He's not old, he's already mature at that age."

"I don't care if he's handsome, mature, or a doctor, if in my eyes he's an old man, I don't want to marry him."

"Not marriage, you just want to get engaged," argued mom.

Well, that's the same thing! I'm going to be tied down by him. Even though I won't be getting engaged for a long time, like what my mom told me, I'll still end up getting married? How annoying is that?

"You keep changing the subject, so once again, I will ask. What's your motive for setting me up with him?"

"There is no motive at all, Ayana," said mom as she smiled warmly at me.

"Lies!"

My mom let out a short sigh. She positioned her body closer to me, then wrapped her right hand around my shoulder. And then I saw the smile that was plastered on her lips again.

"You'll know the answer from him."

"Mom..." I whined in a dramatized tone of voice, and with this, I hoped my mom would know what I wanted. Hopefully, this method will work.

"Yes, dear."

"I don't want to get married, mom!" With a sullen face, I persuaded my mom by shaking her hand. I guarantee my face now looks like a monkey mask. But I don't care, I just want to be free from all this.

"Pandu is a good man. He is authoritative and very polite to me. You have to accept him, he will guide you. Your childish nature matches Pandu, who is already mature."

I regretted begging like that if, in the end, I couldn't argue with my mom at all. I'm getting more and more annoyed with her.

"This is my life, I'm the one who runs everything, not you or anyone else. I still have a long way to go, and I still want to be free, not constrained by this annoying marriage. Do you understand how I feel?"

"I understand."

"If you understand, why didn't you follow my request earlier? I don't want to marry or get engaged to that man. He's too old for me anyway."

"Ayana..."

"I already have a boyfriend too!" I just beat her up, I don't care if my voice sounds brave to an older person. I don't care, I'm emotional right now.

"Ayana..."

"No matter what, I will reject the engagement. I can't prevent my choice. And I have no right to interfere in my love story!"

Maybe I was too mean to my mom for saying such harsh words. But what else can I do? I'm really annoyed with her. How easy do you think it is to accept someone you don't love?

I was really frustrated with this problem. Without looking at my mom, I immediately got up from the bed and walked quickly out of my mom's room with mixed feelings. My chest was hot, and my heart was beating faster.

"Ayana, listen to me first!"

I didn't care! I don't listen to my mom's shouts. What I want right now is something that will calm my feelings and thoughts.

I promise to apologize to her for my rude words. But not right now, I'm too lazy to face my mom. I closed the door to my mom's room with a quick and sarcastic motion, making a loud noise.

And I hope she realizes that her daughter is emotional and wants to be obeyed. Hope it doesn't hurt, right?