Chapter 3 Fear

Amy sat at the vanity absently combing through her hair as she stayed lost in thoughts.

Was this it? Was she to have no choice in her life? Even with whom she was to spend the rest of her life with? Was she to marry someone she knew next to nothing about?

Sure Reynolds was very handsome, she would have had to be blind not to see that. But looks were not the issue.

What if he turned out too worse than her father, more controlling?

Would he decide the very air she should breathe?

He did not need to accept such a marriage. With his success alone he could have anyone he wanted, live his life the way he wanted. Something she could not do. She was duty bound to her family, her father; and she had no way out.

How was there absolutely nothing she could use against him? Something she could use as an excuse to avoid the match. Though it might not have made a difference to her father, considering he was involved in some shady business as well. Amy was well aware of her father's businesses despite not being allowed to be actively involved in any of them. Even though she held a good position where she worked, most of the decision making was not up to her. She brought deals, made them; but there was always a limit to the things she could do. In the end, she never had the final say.

She thought back to Reynolds. Had he recognized her at the party? At the balcony? What if he had also been given a document, learning everything about her? It was possible, Amy reasoned. The way Mr. Bennet had looked at his son suggested that it was something they had talked about before. If that was the case, would he think of her as pathetic? She was unable to do anything on her own volition, without her beloved father knowing. And if that was not the case, then Mr. Bennet at least had to have known. His and her father's conversation had seemed too familiar to think otherwise. It could have been just another business deal, she reasoned. But it could not be a coincidence that Mr. Bennet's son was in her father's file and suddenly they were both exchanging laughs at the party.

She was not ready for this. She felt so helpless she wanted to cry. Or was she too old to do that anymore?

Could she refuse? She had never defied her father before. Most times simply following out the path he wanted for her.

A knock pulled her out of her thoughts. Amy's mother entered smiling warmly at her and for a moment, Amy felt resentful towards her mother. Even she could do nothing about her predicament?

"My dear", Juliet called, placing one hand on the chair Amy sat and looking down at her.

"Is something wrong? Do you need anything mother?" Amy asked

"No" Juliet replied. "I only wanted to see you before going to bed. You will be sleeping soon right?"

"Yes, I will"

Amy took her time preparing for bed, knowing her mother had something to tell her. And by the looks of it, it was something Amy would not like.

"You might have to stop working at the office, dear"

Amy turned to face her mother. "Why?" Amy thought she had asked too calmly, considering how her heart had started to race upon registering her mother's words.

"Well-"

"Did father say that?" she cut her mother off.

Her mother sighed. "Amy-"

But Amy tuned her out. In that moment, nothing could describe how helpless she felt. She had not expected this to be taken away from her. Granted it had not been completely hers, it was her father's business after all. But she had looked forward to doing something that made her feel less like a wallflower. Sometimes she had looked forward to seeing co-workers, smiling and waving, engaging in chit chats. She had most especially enjoyed the more serious conversations, bringing ideas to the table that everyone mostly went with. They made her feel like she knew what she was doing with herself. Hearing what her subordinates thought of her was something she did not mind too. Sometimes there were nice comments, and the not-so-nice ones helped her realize some truths.

"Where is father?? Is he in his study? I will go talk to him. He can't do this" she interrupted her mother.

"There is no need Amy. You know it will do you no better

"

Amy stared at her mother wide eyed. Nothing could stop her tears now. "How can you say that? How can you let this happen? What am I to do then, be a housewife? I don't even know if I can cook up a decent meal, do chores. I'm to stay at home doing absolutely nothing but looking good?"

And maybe going on mindless shopping or having silly tea meetings. Weren't people with old money and connections like that?

She did not even have the strength she wanted to raise her voice properly, instead she ended her complaints crying quietly. She had not realized until then how much she wanted out of the life she was so used to.

"It doesn't have to be like that" her mother pacified. "And nothing has been decided yet". She stroked Amy's hair once, "Rest okay?". Amy nodded.

After her mother left, Amy had no trouble falling asleep soon after. Sleep was her easy escape. Most times she would wake up feeling better. This time, it was different. She was not as overwhelmed as she had felt the previous night, but she did not feel at ease either.

Amy got up to prepare for work as usual. As she opened the door to her room to leave, her father came in.

"Father", she greeted him, kissing him on one cheek.

He returned her embrace.

"To work?" He asked

"Yes" she responded. He was asking the obvious which meant there was something to talk about.

"There is something to discuss. Sit for a while dear". Amy did and they talked at length.

She left for work eventually, but for the last time.