Chapter 5 5

"WAKE UP... Wake up, kitten..." I moaned because of the pain in my senses. Why do I feel this way? "Wake up..."

I also felt someone caressing my left cheek. That soft thing was warm and gradually I felt better.

"Hmm..."

"Can you hear me? You need to wake up... Wake up..." said that soft voice. Could it be me that he is ordering to wake up? Because that voice was just around the corner. So maybe that's me. He was talking to me.

I slowly moved my eyelid until I was able to open it. I closed my eyes again because of the glare I could see. But I was still able to adjust.

"W-Who are you?" I asked softly to the man whose face was close to mine. I'm not sure if I underlined the words I said.

"You're awake now..." he said making me look around. I'm not familiar with this room and it's like... it's like I've forgotten something... something... I can't remember either and I can't... "Tell me... Tell me your name, kitten.. ."

M-My name? Wait... Why don't I seem to know? Who am I? What is my name? Why don't I remember anything? Who am I? Who am I then? My mind is also confused because my brain seems to have gone blank. Why is that?

"I...don't know... W-Who am I?"

"You didn't remember your name, little kitten?" the man with a hazel green eyes asked me that. I was lying on the bed and he was leaning on me so I could clearly see his beautiful features. His face is also close to mine.

He had a square face that fit his undercut hair with a mix blonde and black color. His beautiful hazel eyes are so cold and blank. His long pointy nose, and his naturally reddish lips that are partly a bit. He's such a beautiful man but he doesn't have any facial expression, an emotionless guy.

However, I can still feel my heart beating fast and his dark aura still gives me shivers.

"Answer me, kitten," he complained that his voice was cold as ice but very husky.

I closed my eyes when I felt his gentle caressing my cheek. I feel an electric voltage coming from his hot palm.

I was flattered when I remembered something. He is... This guy looks like...

"Xenus..." I uttered his name and for the first time, I could read his emotions, shocked.

"How about your name, hmm?" he asked me again. I shook my head because I can't even remember my name. How come that I forgot the most important things in my life? My name...and a blank memories... "You are Cashren Jhed Lindbergh, the beloved wife of Xenus Maicodel Levanna-Lindbergh. My kitten, you just woke up today after the comatose state. Welcome home, love," he whispered as he sealed me with a kiss.

I heard my heart beating fast because of his sudden kiss on me but I can feel the sweetness of his lips and it feels good too.

I wrapped both my arms and kissed him back. He bit my bottom lip so hard that a moan escaped from my mouth. He sipped my bottom lip. I tightened my hug around his neck. He gives me such a strange sensation that I feel like I'm losing myself.

He let go of my lips because his kiss went down my neck. "Uhm..." I moaned when he cupped one of my breasts. But soon I felt like I was going to run out of breath again. I held his arm tightly and he noticed that I was having trouble breathing so he quickly got off of me.

He put me on an oxygen mask and that's the only time I could breathe properly. I closed my eyes because of my slow blinking and felt sleepy.

"Sorry, kitten..." he whispered and held my hand.

I squeezed his hand so he wouldn't worry more because of what happened to me. Maybe...maybe he just missed me so he couldn't stop kissing me even though it seemed like I was just waking up from my long sleep.

He immediately had me checked by the doctor and also had a CT scan. Even though I feel okay, my every movement is still limited because the weight seems too heavy.

I am still in a wheelchair because my body is so weak that I can hardly stand for long. The radiologists also checked my CT scan results and they said they were okay but they also confirmed that I have amnesia.

That's why I seem to have forgotten some memories, something is missing that I don't even know.

But why is that? I remember my husband's name. But is he really my wife? Because it's like...I don't even remember that we got married. I admit his face is familiar to me but... I took a deep breath. Thinking too much gives you a headache. I need to remember that little by little so that I don't get surprised.

"Let's go home, love," he invited me. I just remained silent and deep in thought.

When a girl suddenly lost her balance right in front of us, my senses hurt and I stared at the child's face but I saw a different image. My heart beat faster. Who...who is that boy?

"Baby!" Mommy quickly attended to the child to remember that it was far from the hospital floor.

"You okay, Jhed?"

"W-Do we have a child, Xenus?" I asked and peeked at him. But there was no emotion.

"Um, son?" he asked instead of answering me. My brow furrowed because he said something with an accent.

"Yes..."

"Ah... A kid? We don't have a kid, Jhed," he answered but hesitated.

"Huh? Isn't Renna Cerae our daughter?" I asked in shock and remembered the baby girl's face. Why did he say that we don't have children yet? But who is that? Who is the girl I see?

"We don't have children yet. Because when we were newly married... you had an accident. You were comatose for five months. We can also have children if you recover quickly," he said but I don't know why I didn't like his suggestion that we have children after my recovery.

"But...who is Renna Cerae? P-Can you find him? I-I want to see him, please..." I begged almost crying.

"Jhed, there is no girl named Renna Cerae. I don't even know that girl," he said.

"But she looks like the girl who tripped earlier... Look for her, Xenus. I want to see my daughter. Xenus..." I ordered him firmly.

"Sheth, Jhed. We have no daughter!" I was startled by his sudden yelling at me.

"I'm sorry, I already told you that we don't have a daughter. Let's go back to your doctor," he said coldly that I suddenly felt a tightness in my chest.

"So, Jhed. Is there a girl you see in your mind? When did that start?" the psychologist doctor asked me. My neurologist doctor is also here.

"When a child fell in front of me. Suddenly her image also appeared and I remembered her name. Renna Cerae, doc... I have a strong hunch that she is my daughter," I answered. Both my hands are on the floor.

"Jhed, you have amnesia and everything you see is just a figment of your imagination because you are trying to remember. Look at this, this is your brain, like a clear water. Why is it clear? Because you're like a baby with no memory 'cause you're just getting started. When we add coffee cream, it has this color. The new color of coffee is your new memory. But look at a glass, another water. When we add sugar, it will only dissolve but the color of the water will not change. Because, even if you lose your memory, it can't be lost forever. It's like it's just hidden there in your brain, like water that can't see the dissolved sugar," he said at length making me bow.

"But that's not really true? Doc, that girl seems to really exist. I can feel her..." I said and patted my chest. I really feel for him, I know that I know him well.

"If you want to know that she is real and that she exists in this world, what you need is to slowly remember your lost memories. But be gentle, because you can't force yourself to remember everything," he reminded me and I just nodded.

"I understand, doc..."

"I'm not the one who can help you remember that but you yourself can discover the truth," he said and I just smiled.

I just hope, I just hope that boy is real because I want to see him.