Chapter 2 II

I spend the day working, with the best disposition. The offer my boss has made me is irresistible. I can't stop thinking about it.

I am attractive and, I hope, the support you give me has nothing to do with that. I won't stand it.

The workday ends and I go straight home.

I can't wait to confide in my mother what's happening to me. Things are going well.

As soon as he arrives, I give him a big kiss.

- Mommy, you don't know what happened -. I told him with a big smile.

- Hello daughter, what a nice hug. Let's see, tell me quickly why I also have something to tell you.

-My boss has offered me an advance to pay for the tickets. He will even manage them himself, with his travel agent.

- It is great news, although I think it is something splendid on their part.

- They are very good people...

- Be careful, I don't really like his attitude. What is his interest?

- I'll be careful, I promise.

- Do not trust. Naivety, in this case, will work against you.

- You're right, but it's not logical to reject his offer. It is perfect. I can travel and keep my job at the same time.

- I also have news for you. I spoke with Cristiano.

-And what does that mean, mom? Tell me at once.

-That you are going to travel, daughter.

I run all over the house. Shout of joy. Until I landed in my mother's arms. I kiss her, hug her and continue running and jumping. The emotion is uncontrollable. We both cried excitedly.

-I can't believe it, mom! You realize.

- It gives me great pleasure to see you so happy.

From here on out, you have to focus on the details. You will be traveling alone and organization is vital. You must be very cautious.

- Yes, mommy, whatever you say. I will listen to you, in everything, I promise.

- You are going to arrive in Rome, you will spend around 15 days or you will stay a week there and then you will visit Venice. Time goes quickly, especially when you are having fun. So plan well so you know the most important places.

- I'm going to call Lila, her husband is Italian. Can you guide me a little?

- Ok, but when you have the ticket and are ready to travel. Do not get ahead. Go at the pace of events. Obey my love.

- That's right, I'm going to check my passport and see what clothes I can take.

- You're going in the middle of summer, so choose fresh outfits. The temperature there is barbaric on this date.

I'm in my room, taking the clothes out of the closet and placing them on the bed. I put aside the one I like the most. I always choose the outfit that fits me best.

I entertain myself by trying on some outfits and combining them in front of the mirror. I took the shoes out of their boxes and put on my favorite sandals, with a transparent wedge-shaped heel. Its mouse gray strips, with bright sparkles, cross over my feet.

I take out my red wine-colored pants and blazer set. I love the reaction of people when they see me with it. I always wear it, adding, under the jacket, a white shooting top. It fits him perfectly.

I order, inside the suitcase, the already classified clothes and I close it. I put everything back in the closet. I do not like the disorder.

Now I'm in the studio and I turn on the computer to continue researching.

Carmen, my mother, comes in and stares at me. Seeing that I'm looking for information about Venice.

-Do you like it ? Tell me.

-It's a beautiful place, so elegant!

- OK Mom. I've already sorted out the clothes I'm going to wear. I want to look beautiful.

- You must be comfortable and, at the same time, well groomed.

- I will include some books; it's time for exams on the way back.

-I very much doubt that you are going to study.

- You think. In a while, at night, I have to do it, the material is extensive.

- Don't set expectations. There you will see. Enjoy your experience.

-And what am I going to tell dad?

- You'll tell him the truth, I think. You are going on vacation and you will arrive at the house of a friendly family.

I make it a rule not to give explanations. If I dare, I do it in the most direct and simple way. Without much return.

- I'll tell you when everything is ready, including the ticket.

-Well said! Stop distract me. I have to cook. It's getting late.

"I'm not hungry," I replied. Meanwhile, I continue searching for information, this time about Rome.

Write down the most relevant places. My mother told me that Cristiano's relatives live in the capital, but not in the area. I begin to plan to visit at least one tourist site every day. The rest of the day I will be free, I will go for a walk and meet people.

Carmen goes to the kitchen and I stay sad. I see her somewhat disorganized, with low spirits, since my father's betrayal of her. I would like him to dedicate himself more to improving his physical appearance, to choose to exercise and to get his nails and hair done. I don't tell her so as not to make her feel bad.

When my father left home, it affected me too much. We were very close. I admired and adored him and he spoiled me, indulged my whims.

My mother kept quiet about the problems between them for years. He didn't want me to suffer from the uncertainty that accompanies a separation.

He is a very elegant man; he wears a suit and tie, impeccable. Wear leather shoes, always shiny. He had two closets at home, filled with his shirts, in all colors and styles. As well as wool and cashmere suits, in light and dark tones.

I loved helping dad; I even liked tying his tie. Sometimes I got it, other times I didn't. He would explain to me how to fix it and let me try again. It was a pleasure for him to receive my love and attention.

The day my father left home, after an argument with mom. I thought he would come back, but that didn't happen. It was difficult for me to understand that, from then on, we would live without him.

Especially for the reason of the breakup of the relationship.

Never forget that day. When I felt such strong pain, as if my heart had ripped out of my chest. There was a burning inside me. A sadness so great that tears came out, uncontrollably, from my eyes. We feel betrayed. What my father did affected us both.

He abandons the family due to affairs with another woman, recently arrived in his life. I can't understand how a responsible man, such a handsome and intelligent gentleman, turns his back on us. We are his two great loves and he leaves us for a stranger. In short, I learned that men are weak and capable of losing everything due to the animal sexual instinct that moves them. Without measuring the consequences of their actions.

don't just carry my pain. If not, I feign fortitude to support my poor mother, who is devastated and cries incessantly. In a perennial depressive state.

I decide to be strong. I take care of supporting and protecting my mother, who never fails me.

My father, before he left, promised me that things would not change at all between us. Which in practice did not happen.

Every day I had less time to dedicate to myself. Any excuse was good to not look for me or stop paying the monthly payment. Until one day, tired of depending on him, I started working and covering what was necessary. My mother takes care of online tasks, but the income does not cover everything.

Little by little, I moved away from him. Until the conversations became so spaced that we spent days without speaking to each other.

I decided not to complain to him anymore, since one day he, in a very sporting manner, told me that when he grew up he would understand. The apology seemed so childish to me that his image shattered into pieces. Before my eyes, he went from being that admired and loved man, to a being who moved by instinct, without the capacity to love.

My mother found out about my father's infidelity, long before her friend Carla informed her. He knew this because he found lipstick marks on his shirts, on more than one occasion. What he didn't know was the girl's name.

As always happens in these cases. All of my mother's friends knew what she did, but no one dared to tell her. Until, Carla, fed up with his impudence. Who walked, without decorum, with his lover throughout the urbanization? He decided to speak.

I think that the support my mother gives me for this trip has a lot to do with what happened. She sacrificed herself to maintain a relationship that got out of hand. Because of her husband's inability to value what is important and permanent, family. Now, my mother gives me the confidence to spread my wings and fly. To live and seek to achieve my dreams. Without depending on anyone else, only myself. I think it's right, I can guarantee you a future. Counting on another person is like hanging from a cliff. You fall at any moment.

Despite the months that have passed, I cried, remembering that. I go to the bathroom to wash my face and blow my nose.

I want to build a future and, more than anything, economic strength for my family. Everything is temporary and stability depends, largely, on financial well-being. Although, it does not grant happiness. It allows us to lead the quiet life we deserve. Without anguish or hot flashes due to debt or lack of money for basic expenses.

I don't have, at the moment, any romance on the horizon. Although yes, the desire to fall in love one day.

Carmen is at work...

- Mommy, what are you preparing, can I help you?

- If you like, you can chop seasonings. I'm cooking fish patties with tartar sauce.

- That's lovely...!. If I help you...

- Then, cut the onion very finely so that it does not feel so strong on the palate.

- I love cooking with you, what you prepare is super delicious.

- Thank you my love, you say it because you love me.

- It's not true, at school my friends fought to try what you sent me in the lunchbox. They said my mom was a chef...

- So beautiful, let's say that I put a little love and a lot of attention to what I cook, yes.

-What fish is it?

- It's stingray, I parboil it with time, I stew it and I have it frozen, ready to eat. I work just one day that helps me a lot. It is similar to the taste of dogfish. Although I like this one more, its taste is less strong.

-You can make a salad pie.

- See how you have learned... Cooking is imagination and courage. To make new dishes, you just have to dare to experiment with the ingredients. Know how to combine them.

- It's true, in the family we are all good. I always remember how delicious grandma cooked.

- Yes, your grandmother was an excellent cook. He loved to prepare all kinds of dishes. Even their vegetables were special.

- I remember, on one occasion I told him that I didn't feel like carrot salad with shredded cabbage. He said, "You don't like it because you haven't tried mine." When I ate a little, I loved it... I even asked for more...

-Everyone with his or her seasoning. Your special touch. Therefore, the same recipe has a different flavor depending on who prepares it.

-If one day I have children, I am going to teach them to cook from a young age. Let them get used to eating well. Healthy and nutritious.

We finished the dish and sat down to dinner. The sauce gives it a special touch, enhancing the flavor of the fish. Combines with the crunchiness of the fried empanada.

We finish eating, I clean the dishes and the kitchen, while my mother sweeps. Then, we sat down to share a program on television. We love gourmet series about world cuisine. The ingredients they use and the recipes.

We enjoyed a quiet time, until it was time to go to sleep. We gave each other an affectionate kiss and continued to the rooms to rest.

I roll out the mat, do stretching exercises and meditate. My state of relaxation is such that I fall asleep, I sink into a deep sleep.