Chapter 9 The Nightmare.

When I turned around, that kid had disappeared, replaced by the butler Ho Hac Thien standing next to me.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm OK. Can you go out? I want to be alone."

"Yes, my lord."

Having said that, Ho Hac Thien disappeared like mist into nothingness. What a mysterious butler. Even though I've heard people talk about him, when I'm next to him, I really feel the murderous aura so strong it's suffocating.

Ho Hac Thien, the loyal head butler and powerful right - hand man for the Tran family, is also the president of the famous assassin guild, Thirteen Rings.

He has a slender body, as if just a breeze would be enough to blow him away, but hidden behind that fragile appearance is a source of power that is difficult for any magician to match.

For example, this butler once erased an entire country's name from the world map just because he didn't give him a passport, or the barber just because he cut a wrong strand, the entire clan lost his life, there was no one left.

Returning to Tran Gia's study room, here it is like a great library with countless bookshelves with ancient wooden shelves arranged evenly, books placed along each row waiting to be discovered. From past to present, from literature to science, from philosophy to history - it's all here.

They are divided into clear cabinet frames. Even though they have become yellow and dusty over time, each page of the book is kept as new, proving that Tran Gia's document preservation techniques are sometimes even more advanced. Even the techniques of the ancient Egyptians. Even the fragrance of each material is still imprinted on the page. They seemed to immerse me in the forest of knowledge.

The feeling when listening to the soundbook or flipping through the pages of an old book in the dim light that has passed over time is definitely unforgettable. Tran Gia's study is truly a bridge between the past and present, bringing me a feast of profound and endless knowledge.

Suddenly, outside the door, the voices of many people rang out, from gentle rattling to intense banging. When the door opened, the light from outside made me squint my eyes uncomfortably, the silhouette of the doctor's white blouse fluttering in front of my eyes until I completely passed out.

Startled awake, I quickly glanced around to see if I was really awake or just dreaming, but the only thing I got was pitch black darkness, with no sound other than the echo of the clock hands. up each beat, each beat. Although I don't know why my chest hurts so much, I suppressed the pain at the bottom of my chest and tried to push myself up from the bed, trying a little harder to get out of the bed that smelled of disinfectant. But I didn't expect that even sitting up would make me feel strangely difficult.

I crawled away, trying to get close to someone to ask for help. However, everyone around me looked at me bnhyes cold or simply strange eyes.

It wasn't until the door was pushed open from the outside and the last feeling that my consciousness could remember was the throbbing in my arm that I fell into a deep sleep.

When I woke up again it was around noon. The harsh sunlight shines directly into the room. The sparkling, brilliant rays of sunlight contrasted with my haggard, gray face, the corners of my eyes were dark and my body was frail and weak, like someone about to die.

Nearby, there was a young doctor struggling to adjust medical equipment. He came close to me and asked in a worried tone: "Are you awake?"

I nodded and stared at the doctor. After examining my condition, the doctor explained that I had fainted due to physical weakness. When I asked why I fainted, the doctor told me a very special story.

Then a female nurse entered the room, walked closer and softly said something, but my ears kept ringing, the sound of the strong wind kept playing around, making me unable to hear anything. As for the female nurse, she didn't seem to care much, nor did she wait for me to respond. She just helped me into the wheelchair, used something made of cloth to stuff my mouth, and pressed my hands up to the chair. put your hands and tie them up.

My whole body was now completely fixed to the wheelchair, I could only watch the colorful flower garden in the hospital grounds.

The blinding light, people walking back and forth in the garden. The nurse stopped in front of the cherry blossom garden, should I take a flower petal fluttering in the wind, give it to me and say like an inner monologue to yourself:

"I wonder what the speed of the cherry blossom petals is when they fall?"

I caressed the small piece of flower in my hand, the petals were so soft I felt as if I could crush them at any moment.

"You probably don't know either."

The nurse paused for a few seconds then continued:

"That is five centimeters per second?"

Five centimeters per second?

If I remember correctly, a long time ago someone told me this.

That is not only the falling speed of cherry blossom petals, but also a symbol of the slow flow between space and time. And if the speed of the cherry blossoms was not five centimeters per second, it probably wouldn't be so beautiful. If the distance between me and you is only limited to five centimeters, then perhaps I only need one step to reach you, not a lifetime.

Thinking about that made my mind go crazy. I don't know when the tears fell but wetted my haggard cheeks, my throat let out a shrill scream, my body convulsed violently, struggling. Like wanting to get out of the wheelchair, out of this ghostly hospital. I want to find you, my daughter.

I cried, I was scared, I was in pain,female The pain seemed to tear me to pieces, the misery in my body made me feel like I was about to faint.

People around saw that and suddenly ran to hold me tightly. They kept making noises and saying something, but in my ears I could only hear his heavy breathing, the cherry blossoms in front of my eyes suddenly changing. Suddenly, everything came rushing back and my head hurt like hell.

The hideous memories of the past suddenly came back:

The wall is extremely damagedstreak blood in all shapes and sizes, the fishy smell and the filth of killing the girl I once considered the world with my own hands, the feeling of happiness at the end of a human life. They seemed to surround me, stimulating me to kill more, to create more screams, more suffering, more despair. The laughter and voices of the people I had murdered kept echoing in my ears, making me go crazy, scratching myself just hoping to escape this nightmare.

The cherry blossom petals, blowing in the wind, disappeared.

In just a few seconds of gullibility, I put myself into the hands of the devil and now I am no longer normal.

The psychological instability and nightmares of that day still cling to me, they torment and oppress me every night, repeating those happy moments over and over again, making me feel scary and dirty.

Every day of living feels like death.

Whispering into the empty night, self - torture with sharp objects, despite the scars engraved deeply on both body and soul. It's still crazy nights, self - hypnosis, still days of undetermined madness and times of searching for a way out.

No matter how hard I tried, I was still alive, still engulfed in pain every day, in a room full of antiseptic smell and a never - ending nightmare.

Around the ear is always a whispering voice coming from the body and deep in the soul is a humble and heartbreaking request every time the hospital door closes:

Please, I want to die.

I really want to die!

I want to die now! Die immediately!

The begging sound kept stuck in my throat.

Sorry...

I am indeed very tired.

I don't know why I'm sorry either. I'm probably sorry to the people around me who have suffered negativity from me. I'm probably apologizing to myself a lot.

Sorry I can't be as good as I said.

Sorry for not keeping my promise, once again harming myself.

Sorry for having to cry at night in my most pathetic form. Because I have nothing left. I don't have anyone to rely on anymore. Tears kept falling like that, making me even more helpless.

Be strong!

Be strong to live, continue to live and survive in this world.

Even if you're so tired that you don't want to stand up, still try to stand up. If no one helps you, you have to stand up on your own. Even if your feet are bleeding, you still have to go.

Even if you are so tired that you have no desire for this life, you still have to try to live!

Survive, don't think that you will die. Even though the torn scars make you extremely miserable.

Even if you have no other choice, you still have to survive. Even though there is endless darkness before your eyes, you still have to walk without having to turn back.

Cuts on the skin and flesh, even scars on the young heart.

Well, you're very tired, aren't you? Yes, you want to give up everything to escape from the cruel reality.

But after all, you still have to live.

Then he said that it was good that he still existed in this life.

You have to live, even if it's just trying to survive day by day. No one loves you, so you have to love yourself.

Don't give up everything, just keep crying, because you're still alive.

You did a great job,...

Opening my eyes, I found myself in a dark room, with only a small, weakly glowing lamp in the corner of the room.

I tried to console myself that nothing scary was happening to me.

However, the cold sound continued to linger. It was like whispers coming from another world. The cold seeped into my bones, making my body tremble. The voices were no longer intact, repeating strange words that I couldn't understand.

I stood up and walked out of the room. Each step I took, the sound became more and more terrifying to the point where I could no longer control my emotions and my breathing became heavy.

Suddenly, I saw a mysterious door opening before my eyes.

Stepping inside, there is an extremely large dark space, filled with corpses and countless heart-wrenching sounds of screaming and begging. But there was a familiar voice that caught my attention.

"You humans are so funny. Love then hate, cry then laugh, those emotions are like storms in the hearts of creatures called "humans". But you are so different from them! Why?"

This voice...

A familiar feeling suddenly came from somewhere, an extremely familiar, warm, gentle voice that I seemed to have heard somewhere in the past, as if someone was deliberately blowing my love. into my slowly dying soul.

...