Chapter 5 Avoiding

Where did you run off to, yesterday?" Melanie asked me the moment she came into my office, as usual, for lunch.

"I needed to pick my son." I smiled at her.

"I remember that someone was wanting to meet you." She said, "Did they reschedule? You didn't even come back like you usually do." She shook her head, "You know what? I haven't seen that little guy in days. You didn't bring him here. Is something wrong? Is Nate alright?" She sat in the chair opposite to me.

"No, they didn't reschedule – it was just an old friend wanting to invite me to his wedding. Nothing is wrong with me, Nate is alright as well. We both were just a little tired and decided to retire for the day." I told her.

"So he's in school right now?" I nodded and she smiled, "How's Ruff and Whisky?"

"Entertaining old Robbie, as usual. I'm glad we have him as our neighbor, it just makes leaving them at home easier for me."

"When's your dreamy friend Ian coming back?" She grinned.

"He has a boyfriend, Melanie!" I laughed, "I don't know when he's coming here, though." My best friend, Ian, had a fancy modelling career, so I could never predict when he would drop by.

"Hey, I'm not even allowed to admire him from afar?" She pouted.

I rolled my eyes at her.

"Are we going for lunch or not?" I asked her, reminding her what she came here for.

"Oh, yes," she scurried to the door, "I'm very hungry." She rubbed her tummy, "But I'm coming to your house this weekend."

"You are always welcome, Melanie."

Melanie was the only very close friend I managed to make after six years of being in Seattle. There were a lot of friends, but only Melanie was able to pull me closer and get me to let loose a bit. I'd known her for only three years, but she had become a wonderful addition to my routine that previously had only revolved around my work and Nate.

We walked down towards the lobby near which the hospital's cafeteria was located. I couldn't say that the food they served was very delicious, but I managed to get it down my throat and that was enough.

"Oh, snap." Melanie murmured, "Someone came in, and now they need me." She sighed, "I need to go." She pursed her lips and looked at me.

"I'll get something for you," I told her when she stopped me.

"No, you go eat. I'll just have the granola bar I have in my purse and then have my lunch later. I don't know how long I'll take." She patted my shoulder, "See ya!"

"See you, too."

I sighed. Lunch alone, without any company, meant that I would have to focus on food and it would only taste worse. I looked around, trying to find someone I knew so that I could tag along for lunch without being intrusive.

And then my heart stopped.

What was he doing in the hospital?

My eyes were fixed to the deep green eyes of Sebastian Daniels who was looking at me with equal amounts surprise and equal amounts confusion.

Breathe, Noelle, breathe - I reminded myself.

Once again, I felt paralyzed to the core. I felt slightly scared, somewhat nervous, and I was so not ready to face Sebastian Daniels all of a sudden. What would he say? What would he do? What was he doing here? Did he find out?

Maybe he found out and now wants to get you back? A voice in my mind said. You'll be a happy family, Nate will have his dad and you will have the happily ever after you always wanted.

I rolled my eyes internally. As if it was that easy.

I tried to get my mind back in focus, I probably looked like an idiot, standing with my face looking aghast in the middle of the lobby, staring at Sebastian.

I eventually decided to feign indifference, and maybe pretend that I didn't care if Sebastian was here or not. After all, I had nothing to do with him, right? So I smiled a little and waved at him, with all intentions to run out of the entrance again and find another damn restaurant to have my lunch at, but then Sebastian's eyes narrowed and his cheek twitched.

And then his face loosened as if he just realized that I was really a few feet away from him and not an illusion.

Somewhere inside I was glad I had any effect at all. But the feeling didn't remain for too long.

I started panicking when Sebastian started walking towards me. I was caught between trying to control myself from quaking to the boots and stopping myself from drooling at the handsome love of my life.

Oh, Lord, he was still just as gorgeous as I knew him and I hoped I wasn't as tongue-tied as I felt when I first met him. My hormones were running haywire after so many years, so many emotions were being reignited and so many memories were resurfacing. The powerful physique, his intimidating gaze, his firm set mouth, his commanding aura, the familiarity of his presence, the comfort of his arms - everything was beckoning me towards him, but my panic kept me fixed to my spot.

And then I remembered why I vowed to stay away from him. The reason why I was so far away from him, and intended to keep it the same way.

"Noelle?" he breathed, the moment he stopped in front of me.

My last thought had made sure that my nerves were back in place. I didn't want to do anything that would compromise the safety of my baby.

"Hey, hi," I retained my smile, "What brings you here, everyone doing well?" I kept a professional tone.

He gave me an impassive look, "I was actually here to meet someone."

"Great." I took a step back, ready to take many steps back and just skip lunch and shut myself in my office.

"I was born in this hospital," he mentioned, a fact which I did know but had stowed away in the back of my mind. The sentence was short and awkward, I didn't know what to say.

This entire conversation was awkward, I didn't want to make small talk with him.

"Yeah, I know," I said, again trying to relay with my tone that I was done talking, "I need to go back, it was nice to see you."

He took a step forward, "It doesn't have to be this awkward, talking after so long. I know you were going for lunch, I won't disturb you."

I gave him a small smile and a shrug and just turned around to go to the cafeteria. My heart was brimming with emotions, and my mind was full of things I wanted to say to him

Don't cry, please.

I thankfully responded to extreme stress by just numbing myself, which made sure no one and nothing could affect me, and only the logical part of my brain was working. It felt harsh, to myself and my child, knowing very well what Sebastian's absence was doing to both of us. The void his loss left in my life never got better, and the dreams I ever had of having a full perfect family, me, Sebastian, our children and furbabies would never get fulfilled.

The strong urge to turn around, launch myself back into his arms and tell him everything was there, but I also knew that I didn't trust him to keep me safe at all. I remembered clearly, everything that happened all those years ago. And I knew that Nathan was too young to be thrown into a world like that - perhaps not having his biological father in his life would be for his greater good.

I took my food and sat on a table alone, finding my appetite lost.

I kept thinking, Sebastian was here. He now knew where I lived, where I worked and there was always a risk that he would learn from somewhere about his son - no, my son. And knowing him and how he strongly felt of the absence of a father in a child's life, he will want to put his nose where it doesn't belong.

And I was not going to have it, I knew what it would lead to.

I guess it was time for me to find another place, farther away from here, far from his reach, a clean slate.

And suddenly, Sebastian appeared from nowhere and sat across me, "Reece brought me here for you, didn't he?"