Chapter 5 She's Not the Only One

Kari

Kari's phone buzzed again and she left it ignored for the moment, sliding down against the door until her butt touched the cold tile. She let her legs extend out and concentrated on her breathing, the overwhelming sense of lost self-worth swimming precariously around in her thoughts.

If she was good enough this wouldn't have happened. If she was worth the wait.

Was it her fault?

She knew how sexually active Frank wanted to be and yet she'd asked that they take a break, purify themselves for the wedding night so that it would be something truly special, a gift of sorts instead of business as usual.

How long had he been sleeping around? How many people had he slept with?

A sob left her lips and she let her guard down, her tears rushing to wipe away the pain of loss and devastation. She let herself cry for as long as it took to release the pent-up portion of what she'd been through, her phone buzzing over and over again.

Suddenly anger birthed from the wound in the center of her chest, a small growl rising up from her as she pushed herself up and walked toward the table. She grabbed her phone and pressed the button to answer the call, her voice thick with pain and her words sharp like a knife.

"What could you possibly want?"

"Kari, please just listen to me, baby. Please."

"I have nothing to say to you, Frank."

"I know, baby, but just listen. You don't have to talk, just listen to me."

She had nothing to say and the mere sound of his voice set her nerves back on edge, the vision of him slutting himself out in front of everyone who mattered to each of them washing over her again. She pressed her fingers to her lips to hold back another sound that resurrected from her suffering. She couldn't respond, but he didn't wait long to continue anyway.

"I know what happened tonight was horrible. I know I did wrong, but baby, I'm sorry. Tomorrow you and I will be married and we will be one. Move past this with me and know that I'll never do anything to hurt you."

"Again," she whispered.

"Again?"

"You'll never do anything to hurt me again."

"Yes, baby... exactly. I didn't mean to hurt you tonight. I just... I just needed a release, Kari, and the guys got that girl. It's been so long since you've given it up, baby."

"How many?"

"How many what, Kari?"

"How many girls have you been with over the last few months since I stopped giving it up?" She hoped the venom of her feelings flowed through her words.

"Kari..."

"How many, Frank? I want to know."

"I don't think that's important right now. It's over and I'm sorry."

Her voice rose as she pulled the phone from her ear and pressed it against her lips as she screamed, "HOW MANY WOMEN, FRANK?"

"A couple."

"What's a couple? Two? Three? Fifteen?"

"I'm not having this conversation."

"You're right, you sorry bastard - you're not. I'll ship your ring back to you before I leave town and you can call our parents and explain what you've done." She sniffled, her mind clearing a little. "If you lie to them about what happened, I'll be sure to sleep with the editor at my newspaper and get him to run a story on you that shows nothing but the truth."

He didn't speak for a few minutes and she prayed like hell that he was shocked, hurt - devastated.

"Yeah... well, do what you gotta do, I guess," he muttered nonchalantly.

She chuckled, pain roaring back to life around her. "Fuck you."

She hung up and threw the phone across the living room, her tears spilling over again as she got up and walked toward the bathroom. She grabbed a towel, her chest heaving as she gulped for air in the middle of the emotional assault. He had some nerve not only cheating on her the day before the wedding, but acting as if she was simply going to take his apology and let what he did slide.

"It's not important? It's not important how many girls you slept with? Sick bastard." She stopped at the bathroom counter, pulling at her dress and ripping it over the top of her head. She tore at her bra, tears streaming down her face and smearing her mascara to represent the more macabre vision she felt like.

Kari came loose of her panties and bra and turned on the water in the shower, her mind forcing her to contemplate every horrible moment from the night before. The handsome guy at the beginning of the evening being the only good part that played along her senses.

Hot water hit her skin and her tears stopped for a few minutes, the comfort of warmth giving her a small escape. She stepped back and let the water wash over her hair, the smell of smoke clinging to her skin only after being in the bar for a few minutes. The vision of Frank and his female of choice washed over her again, the girl in her vision nothing like what she looked like herself.

Was he simply desperate or did he really like thin girls with no meat on them? She lathered up the soap and rubbed it on her lower back. She had a thicker bottom than top, her breasts small and perky, her butt a bit too big for her liking. Obviously Frank didn't like it either. The skinny whore he'd been with couldn't have weighed a hundred pounds.

"Maybe he thinks I'm fat?" she asked and quickly dismissed her thoughts. She was healthy and in great shape. The simple truth of the matter was that he was unfaithful - a jerk who didn't care where he found warmth and stimulation. Good for him. He could spend his nights in the arms of various chicks who didn't give a rat's ass about him, and she'd eventually heal from it all, and move on herself. There were plenty of men out there who would adore her.

"Right?"

She lathered her hair with shampoo, her heart painfully aching again at the very idea of being cheated on. There was no reason to fault herself, and yet she couldn't help it. If only she'd not have made the decision for them to have a sexual break, then things would've been fine. But would they really have?

What if they got married and she got sick? Would he sleep with someone else because her body wouldn't allow for that type of intimacy? What about when she got pregnant? She'd gain weight and the last thing she'd want was Frank poking his stuff around in her sensitive areas. No, this was for the better, though it left her raw and feeling less confident in herself and how others might see her. To know now was better, her friends were right.

And what about moving? She loved her job, but getting out of New York was a smart move considering that she'd have a fresh start, one that didn't include the sad disposition of everyone around her as they looked on her with pity. The very thought of it sickened her. Maine wasn't particularly on her list of places to go, but with Lisa and Sicily there, it was sure to be an adventure.

A knock at her bathroom door scared the hell out of her. She reached for her towel and called out from behind the curtain. "Who's there?"

"It's me, baby. I'll wait in the living room." Her mother's voice echoed in the small bathroom and Kari exhaled the sudden bout of fear. Lisa had most likely called her mom, who didn't live too far down the street. It would be good to let her tears flow in present company, her mom knowing exactly how she felt, seeing that she'd been through it years before with her father.