Chapter 4 Masochist

"I'll use the toilet."

After waiting for a minute, I slowly opened my eyes. I got up from the sofa and approached Ivan, assisting him as he got out of bed and guiding him to the toilet.

I waited for him outside because it seemed like he was still uncomfortable with my presence.

"Are you finished?" I asked from outside.

"Yeah," he replied, prompting me to open the door.

Once he was back in bed, I returned to the sofa, lying down. As I glanced in his direction, our eyes met once more. He was gazing at me.

"How did we end up getting married?" he inquired. He seemed quite puzzled, as he had been asking this question repeatedly since waking up.

I believed it was better for him to hear the truth from me rather than from Maureen. During their relationship, I had witnessed her rude behavior and often overheard her questioning why I would live with Ivan's family, wondering if I had no other relatives. She mentioned that she was uncomfortable with my presence and didn't trust me.

Well, the feeling is mutual because I don't trust her either. She seemed like a mean girl pretending to be an angel. But Ivan loves her, so he couldn't see that.

"You came home that night drunk. Instead of leaving you to sleep on the cold floor, I took you to your room."

"Did you take advantage of my drunkenness?" he asked with judgment in his tone.

I took a deep breath. "I don't know if I took advantage of the situation. All I know is that you were the one who kissed me first... When we woke up the next morning, your parents immediately instructed us to marry."

Ivan let out a heavy sigh. I was expecting hurtful things he might say, but he remained silent and closed his eyes.

I thought he had fallen asleep because he stayed that way for a few minutes, but then he opened his eyes again.

"I love Maureen. I know it's unfair to you, but that's just how I feel."

"I know."

I smiled with a tinge of sadness and thought to myself, Don't worry, because, after a month, when your body fully recovers, I will leave so that you can freely love each other.

The next morning, Ivan remained silent. Even during breakfast, he barely spoke, and his responses to his parents were concise and could be counted on my hands. It appeared as if he had a heavy burden or problem on his mind.

After giving Ivan his medicine, I bid farewell to my mother-in-law, saying, "I'm leaving now, Mom."

Turning to Ivan, I asked, "Ivan, I'm leaving. Is there a specific food you'd like to eat this afternoon? I'll cook something for you."

"I want Maureen's kare-kare," he replied, casting a somber atmosphere over the room.

Ivan's father gently reprimanded him, mumbling, "Ivan."

I couldn't help but express a bitter smile. As tears welled up in my eyes, I turned away, choosing to remain silent. I walked straight to the waiting car, my emotions weighing heavily on my heart.

Tears streamed down my face, and I paid no attention to the thoughts of the driver taking me home. The pain was just too much to bear.

There was a time when my husband was distant, making me feel like I had no place in his life. Now, he's clearly showing that Maureen still holds a higher place in his heart, even though I'm his wife.

As I prepared my breakfast and took a sip of my coffee, my mother-in-law arrived.

"Dear, I'm sorry." I hugged her tightly, releasing all the pain I was holding inside through my tears. I confided all my grievances in her.

"I don't believe my dream of being loved by my husband will ever come true."

"Don't give up just yet. Don't lose heart, dear. No other woman deserves my son except you."

I knew she was saying this just to lift my spirits.

She's Ivan's mother, but she has no control over her son's feelings and couldn't compel him to love me. Ivan would simply blame us for ruining his life and argue that one year of suffering with me was more than enough.

"I will still be Ivan's wife, but only for one more month. Once he recovers, I will leave him willingly."

My mother-in-law sobbed. She said a lot to bolster my resolve and urged me not to give up on her son, but I had already made my decision, and it was final.

After hearing Maureen's and Ivan's conversation last night, I realized that my dream of being loved by Ivan is now a distant prospect, replacing Maureen in his heart. That won't happen anymore. So, I'm letting go of the hope I've clung to since we got married.

My mother-in-law promptly returned to the hospital. I took a quick shower before lying down on the bed.

I messaged my boss to inform him about extending my vacation. However, I omitted the part about the possibility of not returning, as I intend to leave after a month. If Ivan's recovery had progressed more quickly, I might have left sooner.

I set my phone aside and tried to get some rest, even if it was just for a few hours. Just as I felt sleep beginning to envelop me, a call came in.

"How's your husband, who is still pining for his ex?" my friend asked in a teasing manner, causing me to roll my eyes.

"There he goes. He's got amnesia, but he still holds a torch for his ex," I replied.

Rachelle laughed, earning yet another eye roll from me.

"Your life is quite a rollercoaster, girl."

"I'm aware, no need to remind me," I replied with a sigh.

"Did I interrupt you? I hope not. I just wanted to tell you that my fiancé bought an island."

"Wow! You're truly living the high life."

She laughed again. "Not exactly. I thought of letting you know if you ever needed a place to go and find work. I understand that your marriage might not last long."

"Thanks, Rachelle."

"Alright, I'll be waiting for your call. And please, as long as you still have some love left for yourself, consider leaving your husband."