Chapter 4 3

I open my eyes. Automatically, the edge of my lips part in a small smile. I turn to see him. He's sleeping like a cute boy. The innocence of his eyes is still there.

I still regret the moment when I used harsh words for him. If it wouldn't he, I could not believe that I hadn't survived this take off. For a moment, I thought. It'd kill me. I mostly thought about him but I couldn't imagine him here, with me.

Would that! He hadn't gone that day without saying hello to me. The smile on his face is telling me that he remembers me. It took me years to leave my past back. My past still haunts me in my nightmares. He was a cute boy at that time. Now, he's looking hot as hell.

"Hey! You are awake." He smiled cheerfully.

" Yes," I smiled back.

"Well! I don't know anything about....... " His voice plays in the background when abruptly my ears catch a piece of familiar music. It plays for a few seconds but it draws all the memories back. My heart flutters faster like the wings of birds. I try to catch my breath. I attempt to breathe but I was only having difficulty breathing.

My anxiety is increasing. I try to roll up the sleeves of the top of my full sleeve. My skin is feeling tightened around my chest, taking me near to death. I push up the cloth from my sleeve, "Suhana, " His concerned voice comes over my hammering heart, "Take a deep breath, " He suggests.

I'm trying. But I couldn't voice it.

I take a deep breath, staring into his amber eyes, " A... " I try to speak. My eyes and lungs feel deep burning. I take more deep breaths. Each breath is coming in calmer than the previous one.

I blink the tears. He cups my face. He softly brushes his thumb on my cheeks. He is grasping worried expressions on his face, "Suhana, are you alright? " Arnav asks, his forehead deeply scowled.

I inhale deeply again. I give him a half nod. His hands are still covering my cheeks. I never allow anyone to touch me, not even my parents, brother. I hate it when someone touches me. But his touch isn't giving me negative vibes. There is only care that I'm feeling.

' I can give him only pain, nothing else! '

"I'm fine, " I whisper hoarsely and pull back from his touch. In one corner of my mind, I am fearing he'd stop me from pulling back, but he doesn't.

"God! " He rakes his hand in his hair. He chucks back his head on the headrest and closes his eyes as my pain is his pain.

' For a second, I thought. I was staring into his eyes, not Arnav. They have the same eyes. But he's not.... particularly, I don't see dishonesty and pretense in Arnav's beautiful eyes. ' his voice cut my thoughts.

"You scared me. I felt my heart would stop. " He shakes his head and clenches his head in one hand. I get the chance to see his hands, strong and long fingers. He can easily throttle me. He tilts his hands to see me. I lower my haze instantly, "You okay? Right! " He gives me a bottle of water. I hold it without a word.

I take another deep breath to calm myself, "Thank you. But I highly recommend you to change your seat." I say to him and turn my eyes away from him.

I don't wanna hear that song again. I pull out my iPod from my handbag and put the buds in my ear. I couldn't survive another panic attack. There is the only music that can help me to forget him. I can feel Arnav looking at me. There is love and concern in his eyes for me. But I couldn't allow it. He would get hurt only if he'd expect anything from me. I close my eyes. Silent tears roll down my cheeks. When I feel salty tears burning my cheeks. I wipe them with the back of my hand and stare out of the small window.

I used to think that heartbreak would have killed me. But nothing happened like that. On the contrary, I feel several unbearable pain in my chest. My heart is aching, crying for his betrayal. My life is worse than hell. I am dying every day. Because I truly loved him. He punished me for being loyal, understanding, caring, and to love him from the core of my heart. He's the reason for this unhappiness, and the hell, he has created for me.

"That's not happening. " He says quietly, "Why are you pushing me away, Suhana? " He asks me, unexpectedly.

I don't know. How should I reply to him? It seems to me that he is asking for something else instead of just his seat.

"Great! Now you don't wanna talk to me. Are you feeling okay? " He asks again. I could see concern for me. But I don't want it. I don't want another man to hurt me again.

"I don't feel like talking. I hope you'll not mind." I say, closing my eyes. Being with me will only get you hurt, not love back, "I hope you can find another one for your flirting. " I know, I'm being rude. I'm doing it for his good.

"Suhana! I'm not flirting with you. I genuinely care for you. " His voice is symbolic that my harsh words have hurt him, which isn't my intention at all.

"I didn't mean that. I need to sleep. " I turn, showing my back to him as I pull my legs up. I increase the volume, so I can't hear him.

He removes headphones from my ears, "Thank God! At least you can feel that I'm hurt. " He puts his hand on the back of my hand.

I know he likes me. But I can't allow him to be in my life, it's not getting us anywhere, "Don't!"I almost warned him, "I know what you're trying to do. Just don't. It will only hurt you. " I tell him.

"Good! I'm grateful to God you understand my feelings. You're not a kid. I don't need to explain things to you. Let's exchange numbers. We should date. " He speaks.

"You don't know. What are you talking about? " I warned him. He squeezes my hand.

"I. Said. Don't! Stay away from me. " I tell him.

Why isn't he getting my point? I can only hurt him. I would be the last girl he wants. After all, my ex has made sure of it.

He'd not comprehend now. He isn't so close that I'll explain everything to him.

"Wow! You look more beautiful when you show anger. " He winks at me.

I purse my lips and look away. He seems determined for this. I try to grab my headphones back from his hand. He lifts it above his head. I try to jump but my seatbelt doesn't allow me. Abruptly, he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me closer. I freeze in my seat, "I remember the day I saw you. Eight Years! Please, give me a chance. I don't know, but I can feel you can feel my feelings. I was looking for you in every face. I may sound lunatic, but it's true. I've found you everywhere. " He draws himself closer and pecks on my left cheek.

A shudder runs through my body. I blink multi-time to consume reality. My hands are shivering when I raise my hands to push him away. He looks down at my hands, "Hey! Are you okay? " He loses his arm around me.

I push myself away from him. I unbuckle myself with trembling hands. I gather my things and push myself up. He holds my hand again. I glance down at him with stunt emotions. Why isn't he getting it that he's hurting me? I don't allow anyone to touch me. I hate it. His touch doesn't make me feel disgusted. I don't know why? I should have slapped him. But I could not do it. Neither his touch feels weird nor uncomfortable. He would hurt me in the end or would leave me crying over the love, he'd be the reason for all agony.

I jolt with the sudden announcement of the pilot. I shiver. He must have felt it, because he is still holding my wrist, "Leave my hand. " I whisper.

Suddenly, he towers over me. Okay! He's six feet tall, "I'll not apologize for the peck. Please, sit down. " He rests his hands on my shoulders, pushing me in my seat. He buckles me. I clench my hands as It is still shivering, "I'll not let you go. " He says with determination as he slips in his seat.

His determination irks me, "I'm engaged. " I lied to him. His hands stop on his seatbelt. This is the only reason I see not to hurt him and me as well.

"Nice try. I haven't seen your engagement ring on your finger. You didn't smile once, recalling him in your mind, but stared out to see the view. You'll not believe it, but it's true. I'm not allowing you to walk out of my life. I was dumb. I should stay, try to talk to you back then. " He says, his determination is confirmed in his tone.

I don't argue with him. He is telling the truth but he does not know anything about me. And he doesn't seem in the mood to agree with me.

After landing, I'm going far away from him. Tears are hovering at the brink of my eyes. But I don't want to cry, he would blame himself for this. I kept quiet as I was fearing he'd know I'm on the verge of crying. That's the problem with me, my tears. My heart is still the same after the cheater broke my heart. I was hoping it would be stone, but no, it's still the same.

His hand comes over my hand when the plane is going to land, "What's your problem? " I snap.

He just smiles at me. He's crazy. I don't want people to stare at me and think of me as a crazy woman. I shut my eyes tightly.

It feels like a dangerous roller coaster. I open my eyes and blow out a deep sigh of relief.

I remove the seat belt. My handbag is already in my hand. He stands up to pick up his backpack. I slip from behind him. I rush ahead, mixing in the crowd so he can not find me.