Chapter 5 FIVE..

~~~~~~Ayita~~~~~~ The soft knock on the door made me drop the plate I was holding and I briskly walked to the door. I had ordered some takeouts and I was certain it was the delivery guy by the door. The moment I opened the door, I was dumbfounded by who I saw. How did he know I was here in the first place? My breath hitched for a split second as I saw him standing with an expressionless look on his face. Those eyes that were filled with nothing but love for me now looked at me like I was some kind of stranger.

Believe me when I said I wanted to hug him and tell him how much I loved him but I could not. "Ayita" my name rolled out of his lips and a kind of feeling enveloped me. "Zayn?" My voice trailed off, "how did......" "You thought I won't find you?" He asked me, the sad look on his face made me want to hug him so bad but I had to take a hold on myself, I was not that weak right? "What are you doing here?" I finally asked. "You won't invite me inside?" He questioned while raising a brow at me. "I scoffed, "do you think you are welcome here? Can't you read the writing on the wall?" Now he looked more confused than ever, "what the fuck are you saying?" I opened my mouth to say something when Asher ran up to us and he looked so happy to see him. "Father zayn?" He squealed excitedly. I saw as his expressionless face curled into a smile and he bent down to pull him to a hug. "How are you, champ?" His voice was so gentle and I was almost losing it. "It's been a while father, why haven't you come to see mummy?" Asher asked him and I saw zayn steal a glance at me before turning back to my son. "I was just busy but I am here now okay? Hope I am forgiven?" "Uhmmm" the little boy nodded, "I will show you my toys when you are done talking with mummy okay?" "Sure" Asher scurried off again and I turned my attention to Zayn again, "So can you leave now?" "What the hell have come over you Ayita? What madness is this?" He said through gritted teeth, "do you know how worried I got?" "And what gives you the right to look for me? Didn't you read my later? He wanted to talk but I guess he didn't know what to say. "How much of a fool can you be zayn? I thought you were a smart man but it turned out you are a bigger idiot than I thought" I scoffed despite the lump that was in my throat, "I never loved you okay? I just toyed with you and you thought you meant the world to me? You really are something, don't you think?" "Ayita...." He tried to talk but I interrupted him. "You are a murderer zayn and I can't love a murderer" "Does my dad have a hand in this?" "Your dad?" I laughed, "do you think you all have that much power over me? What the hell do the Vander family think they are? I left because I didn't love you zayn and the sooner you accept that, the better for you" Zayn ran his hand through his hair and hissed in anger, I knew he was trying to keep his anger in check but it was still threatening to burst out of him. "Are you even listening to yourself?" He asked me, "can you take a break and listen to the nonsense you are saying?" I could see his eyes getting misty but I didn't care, I didn't love him anyway. He was just a toy I used and I was already tired of him. "Do you even care what happened that night? You were in this town but you didn't deem it fit to come see me at the hospital? am I that bad a person that you don't even care if I live or die?" I gulped but i didn't say anything, I had nothing to say by the way. "I was in the hospital for a month and a week Ayita all because of you and you didn't even care to check on me, did I do something so bad?" "The way you are talking right now disgusts me, zayn" I said after a while and he froze, "it makes you look desperate and I hate desperate men. Why? You think you are that great guy? You are nothing zayn, just an obsessed priest who needs to go for confession and make his life better, you are delusional and I hate that part of you" Zayn was quiet, I knew the things I was saying was getting to him and that's what I wanted to do, I wanted him to feel pain and get the hell out of my life. "Ayita, everything I have done, I have done for you. Why didn't you tell me to stay away from the beginning? Why did you have to hurt me like this?" I scoffed again, "you never listen zayn and that's the fucking problem with you, you always think you are right. I pushed you away countless times but what did you do? You came crawling back like a fool" "Ayita!!!!" He bellowed, I could see his bloodshot eyes and for a moment I was scared. I had never seen zayn this angry. "You want to hit me?" I asked him, "go head you psychotic man. You should be in a rehab facility zayn, because you have no sympathy for people" I shoved my index finger in his face, "you are a murderer" Zayn began to laugh and I was taken aback for the first time, why was he laughing? "Wow, Ayita" he also began to clap, "i didn't know I was this evil in your sight" he tousled his already disheveled hair again, "I was only loving you, i didn't know I was inconveniencing your space, I thought I was protecting my woman but I didn't know I was making her life much more difficult than it should be" zayn paused for a while, " I don't regret loving you Ayita and I will never regret it but you know what? To hell with you. I left everything I believed in for you and you stand here and tell me who evil I am? Yes I am evil" he was talking in an unusually calm voice which made goosebumps appear on my body, "the only mistake I made was loving you with every single thing I have got and that's my cross to carry. I don't blame you okay? I blame my stupid self for loving you. You called me a psychopath right? Yes I am one and I won't hide away from it again, you are free to leave if you want and don't ever show your face to me again" After talking, he didn't even wait for me to say anything. Zayn turned on his heel and walked back to his blue Porsche, I stood and watched him until he zoomed out of the compound. He was really hurt and I could see from the way tears were gushing out of his eyes when he was talking to me, I hurt him and I hurt him pretty badly. "Mummy" Asher called as he ran up to me. "Yes baby" I plastered a fake smile on my face as I sniffed back a tear, "what is the problem?" "Did the father leave?" Asher asked. "Yes, he had to leave for an important work" "Is he coming back?" My mind drifted to him, was he going to come back? "I don't think so son, he didn't look like he was going to come back" I told him off and now it was left for fate to decide. But the zayn i knew, he was not going to come back . "Mummy" Asher prodded me. "Hmm" "Why are you crying?" His little hands went over to my face and he cleaned my tear stained face. "It's nothing baby, it's nothing"