Chapter 6 6

I stand there, waiting for Beatrice. "Where are you both headed?" She glances at me, then turns her gaze to Sean. She doesn't seem pleased, and it's nearly two in the morning. I managed to stay past midnight, which is a big deal for me. But I can tell she's not happy that I'm leaving with Sean and he's not staying with her.

"I'm going home, and Sean's walking me. I have work tomorrow. I'll send him back, don't worry." I think that should make her happy, but she looks worried now.

"Are you sure you want to do that, Lisa?" She looks at me, waiting for an answer. I want Sean to walk me home, yes. He's John's brother, and for some reason, I feel like I can trust him more than John. I start walking past Beatrice, not waiting for her objections or answering her question.

I reach Sean; smiling at me, he grabs my arm, linking it through his. He begins walking me home, maybe not such a great idea. While we live close to the center and we live close to the university. We don't live that close to the clubs.

It will be a twenty-minute walk home, and my feet are already killing me from the hell. I will not complain though, if I take them off, I will be tiny next to him. I am grateful right now Beatrice forced me to wear heels.

"So, John didn't look too happy that you were leaving." Sean's words were quiet; I know he didn't. I don't think it was the fact I was leaving, more that I stopped him when he was about to kiss me.

"Yeah, to be honest, I wish I hadn't even gone to say goodbye. I realized he was trying to kiss me, or at least building up the courage to. It would feel wrong; I don't see him like that. I think they both forget that it isn't me anymore. Going out and drinking."

He looks down at me cocking his brown, clearly with questions on his mind. "Yeah, the whole club more than likely noticed he was about to kiss you. What do you mean by that's not you anymore? So, you used to enjoy things like that before?" I can't deny it. I wish I hadn't said it now, as that is something I don't want to get into.

"Yes, used to but not anymore. Things change, things happen, and well, I never really feel comfortable anymore around people." I can see he has questions, but I can tell he isn't about to ask them, which I am grateful for.

"So, you met John and Beatrice at university then?" He smiles at me.

I look at him shaking my head as we continue walking. "No, I moved here a few years ago. I met John a short while after I moved here. I have known Beatrice since I was in school. She moved here to support me." I shouldn't have said that. Why would I say to support me? We continue walking as we talk. I feel like I can tell him everything, well, almost everything.

Reaching the apartment, I stand at the door as he stands in front of me. My body screamed for him to kiss me. I want him to kiss me. Why can't I stop thinking about his lips on mine? My teeth bite down on my lip, my eyes looking over him. How can I feel so pulled to him?

I feel like I should kiss him, but even I know that is a mistake. It will hurt when he knocks me back. He is being polite, nothing more.

"Well, it would be nice to be invited in for a quick drink. You know, to say thank you for walking you home and all." I look up, shocked. Okay, I nod in agreement and unlock the door. Walking up the steps to our apartment, I keep pulling my dress down as it rides up. As we walk into the apartment, I can feel him behind me-a sort of electricity magnet pulling me to him. I try ignoring it, failing as I hear the door shut behind us.

"Erm, feel free to sit down." I point towards the sofa. I watch as he walks towards it. "Erm, what do you want to drink?" I need to stop saying erm, what is wrong with me? I looked at him, and sat on my sofa. My sofa! How did I manage to get him here and sitting on my couch? My head shakes; he is being polite, nothing more.

"Coffee if you have any." I walk to the kettle, turn it on. I talk to him from the kitchen as I make drinks before I begin carrying them through. Sitting down, I hand Sean his drink, my body close to his, and I feel my hair standing up.

"So, you didn't drink much tonight?" My question aimed at him. I noticed he hardly drank.

"I'm not a big drinker. Maybe once or twice, but not often. I prefer to keep a level head. When I go out with the guys, yes, but I know John. I know how much trouble he can get into. I am not like John, drinking until I pass out and forget what happened the night before."

Nodding, I understand what he is saying. Sometimes though, drinking can be the perfect way to hide from reality. "Anyway, how about university? You said you knew no one at your party. Surely you should have friends at university or a fella?" I look at him. Is that his way of asking if I am single without outright asking?

"I have university friends. I call them that because once I leave university, I won't talk to them. As for fella's not in a long time, too busy for that commitment." Okay, that last part is a lie. I can't tell the truth though, the truth will make him run. He is looking at me like I have said something crazy. Like me, not having any men in a long time is just wrong.

"Well, that is a surprise. I would have assumed you would have had a fella, or at least an on-off thing with someone. You turned quite a few heads tonight." My head whips around to him, shocked. I doubt that is right. Beatrice turned the heads, not me.

"I guess I have had offers, but no. I am too busy for commitments so just knock them back." That is true, Greg always tries to get my attention, and I play dumb. I don't feel safe with him. I do like I feel safe with John but not the safe that makes me happy to try and get more.

I glance down, seeing our cups empty. The silence has my insides shaking. I can't stop thinking about his lips against mine. My heart begins to quicken, and I feel myself grow wet at the thought of him. What is going on with me?