Chapter 5 CONFUSION

While continuing to wipe the body of Mrs. Mas Hendra, occasionally I glanced at the man who looked sobbing next to Ms. Diana. I can see Hendra is devastated. However, he remained steadfast in accompanying his wife, with a Yasin in his hand.

My gaze turned towards Ms. Diana who was covered in cloth.

God Loves You More Than Me, Babe. Forgive Arletta if Arletta got it wrong all this time.'

My tears suddenly broke, many sweet memories via text messages and also a friendly greeting from Ms. Diana. She is my second best friend after Anna. The woman was now lying on the floor just covered in a helpless cloth.

It was getting late and all the mourners were arriving, while I was still in my nightgown last night. Ms. Diana's family one by one began to come and fill the room. Some expressed their condolences to Mas Hendra and also his mother.

While I was busy in the kitchen preparing food for Ibu Mas Hendra. Ibu Mas Hendra looked very pale, that's why I wanted to give a little food for him, so that he could be strong until the cremation was over.

"Mom, eat first," I said. However, Ibu Mas Hendra refused, he kept the food away, but I was not discouraged, Ibu Mas Hendra had also started to get sick, if he did not want to eat, he could drop, Mas Hendra would be more worried.

***

I was standing next to Diana's grave. Only three with Mrs. Mas Hendra and also Mas Hendra. Diana's family has just returned home. I also want to go back and take a shower. However, because of Mrs. Mas Hendra, I could not bear to leave her.

"Mom, let's go home."I took the Hand of Mrs. Hendra.

"Did Diana say anything to you, Ar?"Hendra suddenly opened his voice. However, the question really surprised me.

"After this morning, Ms. Diana did not send any messages, Mas. He used to send me messages all the time, but now he doesn't."Mas Hendra moved from his seat. She walked over to her mother and left to eat. I just followed both paths.

Actually what is being thought by Mas Hendra at this time, why did he ask me something that I think is quite strange.

When I got home, I cleaned up and sat alone in my room. I sat there in the midst of this confusion that broke my heart. If I remember again, Ms. Diana was the only woman who was very kind to me, she also wanted to volunteer for me.

If I could break through another gap, maybe I would do it right now, I want to ask Ms. Diana a lot of things. Diana and I could talk about a lot of things today. However, in reality, God misses Mbak Diana more.

I think everything should be put an end to here, I'm nobody, this grief is very deep for Mas Hendra and his mother, also Ms. Diana's mother. I should have given encouragement to Ibu Mas Hendra instead of continuing to think about strange things.

After preparing myself, I went to Mas Hendra's house with my neighbor, usually there will be a tahlilan event, even though it's just a snack, my mother and I always bring it from home, for the family who lives.

However, because it was too busy, today I only brought bread that was bought at the stall. Usually the family will make food for the night, but there are also those who only serve tea and coffee and bread for tahlilan.

"Your mother is home, right? It didn't look like yesterday, man."I smiled.

"Yes, Ma'am. "I miss my grandma," I replied.

"Don't you miss it too?"The question of the mother next to me was heartbreaking.

"I miss you, Mom. It's just that it's not time to go back yet, the money is not enough for two people," I said with a smile.

Upon arrival at the residence of Mas Hendra, me and a few mothers approached Mas Hendra's mother who was sitting in the kitchen. He was pouring water on her.

"Mom, can Arletta help you?"I asked.

"Diana's family has returned, they will hold tahlilan at the residence of Diana's parents. Only tonight tahlilan held, Can you and other mothers take care of it, only tonight."I'm a little confused why Ms. Diana's family did not let all the tahlilan be held at her residence. In fact, all families immediately returned to their homes.

"All Right, Mom. Later Arletta will prepare, did Mas Hendra just leave, Ma'am?"I asked again.

"He went back to the workshop."I was even more surprised, it's no wonder why Mas Hendra went to the workshop, even when his wife's cremation had just been completed.

I just feel like there's a lot of awkwardness on the part of these two families.

"Are you all right, Hendra?"

"He's fine, there are some things he has to take care of in the workshop."I also nodded, maybe I'm the one who has too much suspicion at the moment, this family is very good.

"Ah, yes Ar. I have something for you too. Come with me to my room."I linked my eyebrows and then followed her steps up to the room.

The room was very spacious and also neat, things are arranged in place, there are some things that also look very antique in the room.

Mrs. Hendra suddenly gave me a notebook. I was confused how to take it at this time, the woman was like very sincere.

"Sit down."I was sitting next to Mrs. Hendra.

"This is a mandate from Diana, I don't know when I still have to give all this to you. If you do, do what is written in this book."I slowly picked up the book and opened it. I'm confused, confused, and feeling weird right now. Mrs. Hendra also looked uneasy at this time.

"What exactly is this, mom?"I asked.

"I don't know, you can take him home, but remember not to let Hendra know, only mother and you can know the meaning of the message in the book."I nodded, and put the book in my bag. If there really is something big, I'm sure this is no ordinary problem.

****

After the tahlilan event was over, I said goodbye to Mas Hendra and also his mother. The man seemed to still have a little wound in his heart, the grief he experienced was very deep, especially losing his wife when he just stepped on the head of three. He didn't even get the love of his life with his wife.

I just stared at him for a moment, then left the House. My steps were quick to get home, because it was very late, and it was only left to myself that I had not come home, to have nothing happen on the way. I can go back easily.

I close the door, then lock it. I also closed my room, the room lights on, then I took out the book given by Ibu Mas Hendra.

The book is black, with a little decoration in front of it. I think it was Diana's diary.

However, I had to delay opening the book, because my stomach was rumbling, while there I only ate the cake that was served, even from the morning I only ate a little rice. My body also smells sour.

I left the book, and went to the bathroom, after taking a shower and cleaning myself, I took food, just enough with the side dish as it was, I was already happy to fill my demo stomach.

While watching TV, it doesn't feel like the rice I took has run out, and the water has also been washed away, but my viewing has not yet run out, I at least like it if I have to leave a film that is on the verge of a conflict climax, I have to finish it, right. However, advertising destroys everything.

After putting the dishes down, I wash them, counting that tomorrow my work will be less and also that I can wait for the commercials to pass. Even alone, the House must be kept clean, because you don't like dirty houses, especially a lot of garbage scattered around, I can get angry if you come home later.

After finishing cleaning the kitchen, I went back to the living room, even I forgot the book given by Ibu Mas Hendra.

"It feels very lazy to open the book right now."I went back to my room and picked up the book lying on the bed. I opened the first sheet of the book.

"Dear diary"

I write your name on every page of this book

I call upon your name in every prayer that I sing

In the midst of the pain that broke my heart

I open the door of my heart to you

The first man who has won hearts

You're the one who stole my true identity

A love story that begins with a brief encounter

Now sweet fruit into a harmonious household

I gave my whole life to you

At the time of the Maha Maha Maha Maha Maha Maha Maha Maha

I Accept you as the true owner of me

All the happiness and sorrow I give you

MY HUSBAND HENDRA BUDI KUSUMA*

Indeed, I was moved when I read it, whether it was a poem or just a string of words compiled by Ms. Diana, but I feel that woman really really loves Mas Hendra.

I even just found out that Ms. Diana met with Mas Hendra for a while, if you remember, they went straight to the wedding level.

I opened the next page of the book, but I couldn't find anything like it anymore, so I looked at the date written on the first page.

"Three days after the wedding of Ms. Diana and Mas Hendra, Ms. Diana wrote Such beautiful words, she looks very happy married to Mas Hendra. However, why on the next page is different, exactly what happened?"