Chapter 4 4

Sandra's POV

I feel the heaviness of my eyelids due to the intense drowsiness engulfing me at this hour. I discreetly open my eyes, hoping that doing so will alleviate my fatigue even just a bit.

I tried to sit properly and take a deep, calming breath to gather a bit of strength, but everything I do seems to be futile. Just like how my love life progresses - no proper direction. Lack of success.

This is Damian's fault! If not for him, I wouldn't have spent several nights crying myself to sleep. It's been days since that disastrous blind date, but the pain I'm feeling is still as raw and palpable as if it happened just yesterday.

Accepting the fact that he left me hanging because of my appearance is still painful. I don't need confirmation; I can already feel it. I know it's because of my figure that Damian left me alone that one fateful afternoon.

I've only tried two times to find a man who will love me for what's on the inside and not just judge me by my outward appearance, but both times, I felt defeated.

The truth is, we can't count the times we've been hurt or hurt someone else. We will never remember how many times we cried because we're hurt. What we'll always remember is the pain. When you're hurt, it feels like you don't want to try again. It feels like you're too scared to try again because of the impact of that pain on your entire being.

Damn Damian! It's really his fault. From every angle, he's the one to blame for why I'm thinking like this now.

"Teacher Sandra, are you okay?" Lea, my student, asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I looked at her. She's sitting properly, blinking her eyes innocently. My lips stretched into a smile.

"Teacher Sandra is fine, Lea. Have you finished answering your exam?"

She nodded cutely. "I'm done, teacher. I studied hard at home, so I was able to answer the questions on the paper properly."

A wider smile spread across my lips. Today is the last day of their periodical exam. We only have half a day of class today, and all the students will be leaving by morning. It's their last subject, so in just a short while, they'll be heading home.

"That's very good. Should I expect you to get the highest score, then?" I asked sweetly.

Lea suddenly pouted. She looked even cuter to me as her chubby cheeks puffed up even more.

"Don't expect too much, Teacher. Let's just wait for the result. I don't want to disappoint you just in case I don't get the highest score."

I chuckled softly. "No matter how low or high your grades are, always remember that you will never disappoint me. Hmm? I will never get tired of teaching you over and over again if there's something you don't understand. If ever you get low grades, Teacher Sandra will never get tired of teaching you until you get the grade you want and deserve. Understand?"

Lea's eyes shone like the brightest star in the dark sky. She nodded her head while giggling.

"Thank you, teacher! That's why I like you so much. You have a big, big, big heart!" she gestured her hands in a circle motion, which made me purse my lips slightly.

Yes. And big thighs too, sweety.

I managed to smile at her. My wristwatch chimed. I glanced at it and saw that I'd given my students a few more minutes to finish their test papers.

"Okay, class. Time's up! Pass your papers properly," I said gently, looking at the children in front of me.

Most of them groaned while scratching their heads. Some furrowed their brows, as if they were dealing with a huge problem.

I raised both my eyebrows. "What's wrong?"

"Teacher, I'm not yet done," one child complained.

"Me too, teacher!"

"Teacher, I still have a few more questions to answer."

I let out a sigh. I looked again at my watch and saw that there were only a few minutes left before they would all be heading home. The bell would automatically ring if it was time to leave the classroom. That meant it was dismissal time. If I didn't allow the children who weren't finished to continue, it would be a shame. They might not get a fair grade for their efforts in studying. Most of them were already finished, but I didn't think I could bear to let the others go without giving them a chance to finish.

This is why I chose to become a teacher. I love children. I have a huge heart when it comes to them. I have a lot of patience for their mischievousness. That's why when I passed the board exam and became a licensed teacher, I immediately applied at a private elementary school and started my life as an educator. I've been educating these children for more than five years, and I can say that those years were the best moments of my life.

"Okay, class. I'll give you fifteen more minutes. But after that, you really have to turn in your test papers. If you're not done by then, there's nothing more I can do. Is that clear?"

The eyes of some of my students lit up when they heard what I said. "Yes, teacher. Thank you!"

A soft smile played on my lips. These children's happiness is my happiness, too. I hope someday, someone will claim that my happiness is also his happiness. I hope.

FROM MY seat in my cubicle here in the faculty room, I took my lunch box out of my shoulder bag. Mama prepared it for me before I left for work, just like she always does. According to her, it's more economical for me to bring food from home rather than buy from the school cafeteria. She has a point, though. Food here is expensive, and sometimes, it's not even enough to fill me up. Or maybe I just have a big appetite when it comes to food?

My phone suddenly beeped. I set aside the Tupperware I was holding on the table and checked who sent me a message.

Margarette:

Sands! You have half a day, right? Your gown is already done. Let's meet at the mall so you can have a final fitting before we take it.

Sandra's POV

"Ako:

Sige. Mga 2pm naroon na ako. See you."

After sending that message, the image of the gown Marga had tailored for me immediately crossed my mind. The motif for her wedding is nude, which happens to be her favorite color, so there isn't much difference in the color of her wedding gown. The style is what sets everything apart.

At first, she wanted me to wear a very revealing style, with a plunging neckline and an open back. I firmly said no because I'm not comfortable wearing revealing clothes. It would be too audacious of me, given my size, to boldly display my skin. So, I chose a see-through long-sleeved gown with a slit in the middle of my chest. It fits snugly against my body, accentuating every curve. Everything's just out there. I no longer have the time to diet and prepare for that day.

"Hi, Sandra! Are you alone?" Enzo, my fellow teacher, greeted as he entered the faculty room. He had a huge grin on his face, revealing his gums.

I looked to my left and right, then shrugged. "Looks like it."

He saw that no one else was with me. "Great! Let's go together. I've brought a lot of food."

He eagerly pulled a chair next to mine and started unloading all the food from his paper bag. "I'm sure you'll love this. I had my mom cook a lot of dishes for you."

I gave him a reserved smile. I watched as he carefully arranged all the food he brought.

"Eat a lot, Sandra, okay? I've noticed you're losing weight. Don't go on a diet. You look better with some curves," he added.

Enzo has always been kind to me ever since I started working in this school. He was already here when I came. He's the only man who has never insulted me for being the fat girl that I am. He's handsome, tall, with small, slanted eyes, rosy lips, and tan skin. He's incredibly kind and always has a smile for me.

He's my biggest crush as of now. However, I've heard that he already has a girlfriend. Sometimes, I wish he wouldn't get too close to me because I start to assume things. Among all the teachers, he's the one who's closest to me. I don't even know why. The last time I asked him about his treatment towards me, he simply said that he genuinely finds me nice and adorable.

"Here you go again, Enzo. You're giving me false hopes again. I'm already too fat, you know! No one would ever like me like this," I grumbled.

He lowered the plastic cup he was holding and looked at me. He let out a shallow sigh.

"You are not supposed to feel sad just because you think that no one likes you for the way you look, Sands. Would you rather be liked by a man just because of your physical appearance? You're beautiful. Very beautiful. If those men don't see the beauty you possess, well, I do. Just wait for the right time. Hmm?"

I felt a warm touch in my heart from the words Enzo just said. It made me feel even more drawn to him. If only all men thought this way, without judgment based on outward appearances, things would be much easier.

I smirked subtly at him and locked eyes with him.

Oh, Enzo. Why are you already taken?

"Let's eat?" he offered, still smiling at me. "If you get any thinner, I won't notice you anymore."

I rolled my eyes at him playfully while chuckling. "Alright, let's eat. If I gain even more weight and no one still likes me, it's your fault."

He lifted the corners of his lips, looking at me intently. "I'll hold responsible for that, Sandra," he said, winking at me. I just shook my head.

AT EXACTLY two in the afternoon, I was already inside the Megaworld mall. I headed straight to the wedding gown boutique where Margarette was already waiting for me. As soon as I entered the shop, I was greeted by my friend.

"Sands!" she greeted happily, standing up to embrace me.

"Got tired of waiting?" I asked.

Marga shook her head as we broke our hug. "Not really, I'm fine. I got engrossed in looking at gowns here. Come on! Try on your gown. I'm so excited!"

She pulled me along, and I couldn't help but go with her. Marga approached the sales lady and asked for assistance for me in the fitting room.

"Um, miss. Can you turn your back? I'm a bit shy changing in front of others," I hesitantly requested the sales lady, who was also in the fitting room.

Why did she need to accompany me here? I could have just called her from outside.

She smiled at me. "Sure, Ma'am."

Once she turned around, I took a few seconds to stare at my reflection in the mirror before letting out a silent sigh. I started to undress, quickly slipping into the gown from the bottom up. Once I had it on, I turned to face the sales lady.

"Could you please zip it up at the back?" I requested.

"Of course, Ma'am."

After she finished, I looked at my reflection again through the mirror. The curve of my backside was clearly outlined due to the snugness of the gown. I didn't find it bad, but no matter what I wear, my plumpness in the posterior area is quite prominent because of its size.

"You look sexy, Ma'am. I wish I had a body like that," the sales lady commented.

I pursed my lips at her, who was intently looking at me in the mirror. "You're not teasing me, are you?"

She immediately shook her head. "I'm telling the truth, Ma'am. That's the kind of body I like. Full but with curves. They say, 'chubby is the new sexy,'" she giggled.

"Oh, don't try to fool me. I don't have any extra money to give you as a tip," I said dryly.

The sales lady pouted. "Ma'am, I'm just speaking the truth."

I didn't bother to pay much attention to what she was saying because, no matter how I tried to believe her compliments, I couldn't. Or, can those even be called compliments?

"Alright, you can unzip it now. I'll change back," I calmly instructed.

"Alright, Ma'am."

I quickly changed back and left the fitting room. I found Marga who was still focused on her phone, giggling to herself. I couldn't help but chuckle. When she sensed my presence, she looked up at me with a bright smile.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, her face radiating joy.

I nodded. "Yes, everything's fine. You seem really happy."

She giggled. "I am. It's because of Cole. He's being sweet."

I sat down beside her, looking at her with a smile. "Your future husband really loves you, doesn't he? He's not only handsome and kind, but he's also very faithful. You're a very lucky woman, Marga."

"Indeed, Sands. He's not only handsome and kind, but also faithful. You know what? During their bachelor party, he told me what happened that night. He told me about what his friends prepared for him. He said that many women were there for him, to entertain him. There was so much temptation that night but he managed to resist. He said he didn't want to do anything wrong to me. So, nothing inappropriate happened. He just doubled what his friends paid those girls and sent them away. But his friends thought that Cole had a wild night with those girls," she chuckled.

I raised an eyebrow. "How can you be so sure that Cole didn't do anything wrong? You weren't even there."

She smiled confidently at me. "I know when my man's lying, Sandra. And besides, my woman's instinct is always active. I would be worried if he did something wrong. But I'm at peace. I slept soundly that night."

I nodded. "Just make sure he doesn't, okay? Oh! I would really punch him if he ever cheated on you."

"Before you, Sands, I'll be the one to confront him if he ever cheats on me," she said with a playful laugh. We both laughed as I shook my head.

Minutes later, the gowns were already given to us. I didn't spend a penny because Cole covered all the expenses for their wedding with Marga.

"Cole is already outside, Sandra. You probably won't be joining us?" Marga asked as we exited the restaurant where she treated me to snacks. Even though I told her I just had lunch and was still full, I couldn't refuse.

Are you full, Sandra? Really? I winced at my inner thoughts.

"No, it's fine. You go ahead, I still need to buy something here at the mall," I said.

"Alright, take care, okay? Text me when you get home."

I nodded. "Thank you. Take care too. Give my regards to Cole."

My friend hugged me before we parted ways. Carrying the gown box, I began to explore the mall. Luckily, it wasn't too heavy, so it wasn't a hassle. I planned to buy a new pair of shoes to wear at Marga's wedding. I didn't want to use my everyday shoes. Got to have a touch of elegance, right?

While walking and looking around, my eyes stopped at someone inside the restaurant. My eyes squinted. "He looks familiar to me."

My mind tried to search for the answer to my question as I continued to gaze at the handsome man. He was sitting at a two-seater table, talking to a pretty woman in front of him. When a ghost of a smirk appeared on his lips, that's when I remembered who he was. I stopped walking, as if a huge revelation had just hit me.

Russell.

Russell, Cole and Marga's friend. The guy with sharp eyes. The extremely tall, very manly guy with a sly grin. The woman with him was probably his girlfriend.

I averted my gaze from them and continued to walk through the mall. I couldn't afford to be late. I still had to create a lesson plan for next week.

Russell.

I couldn't help but feel bored as I listened to Shane ranting about her personal issues in life. Not that I'm not interested. It's just that... I... uhm... well, yeah. I'm not really interested.

"It's actually stressing me out! It's stressful because Dad keeps giving me orders about the company when he's very much aware that I'm not into it. My life is in interior designing, not in real estate! Frustrating, right?"

I yawned again and nodded lazily. "Yes, it is."

"Are you still interested in what I'm talking about, Russ?"

No.

"Yes, of course. It's just that I'm feeling a bit sleepy. I didn't get much sleep these past few days because of the pending work." I lied.

I had a comfortable and peaceful sleep these past few nights. This is the first time I've felt sleepy since we went out. There wasn't much work in the office because I've already finished it. Shane asked me to meet her here because she wants to unwind a little. Since I'm not doing anything and I feel bored, I agreed. I didn't know I'd be even more bored here.

Shane is undoubtedly good in bed, but such a boring acquaintance. We only talk about her life. Even her friends that I don't know are included in the topic. About their hangouts, their favorite boutiques, etcetera. How am I supposed to relate to that?

Shane pouts her lips. "Is that so? Do you want to go home? So you can rest."

I raised my brow. "Do you wanna go home?" I asked back. I didn't want her to think that I'm happy with her sudden decision.

She shrugged. "It's fine," she looked at her gold wristwatch and then back at me. "Bianca and I are meeting soon anyway. You can just drop me off at the Dusit Thani Hotel."

Finally! "Of course, let's go?"

She nodded. We stood up and walked out of the restaurant. I wrapped my arms around her waist as we walked down the mall hallway. Holding Shane like this is natural to me. In fact, we look like we're in a relationship. The way I look at her, the way I smile at her, and the way I hold her, anyone who sees us would think there's something between us.

But that's it. No love involved, really. My sister said that you will only know that you're in love with a certain person if there's a spark between you two. In our case, with Shane, there isn't. I don't have deep feelings for her. She's not someone who engages me deeply. She's not someone who forms a connection with me beyond lust and desire.

I don't think I can sit next to her on the dinner table for the rest of my life, talking only about my day like how she used to do when we're together. I don't see myself having a relationship with her. I can't picture myself being with her as we grow old.

She can't light the fire in me. But while there's no one else, it'll be her for now. Besides, this setup works for her too. There will be no hard feelings when the right person comes along for both of us.

Shane and I both cursed when we reached the mall exit and saw that the rain was pouring heavily. "Wrong timing," she whispered. Fortunately, the guard handed us an umbrella that we could use until we reached my car. Shane and I hurriedly walked out until we got to my car. I assisted her until she got into the passenger seat. I circled around and the mall guard quickly followed me.

"Thanks," I said once I was inside the driver's seat, handing her the umbrella.

"You're welcome, boss! Take care."

I nodded before starting the car's engine. "Do you have a spare towel here, Russ? My arm got wet," Shane asked.

"Backseat," I answered without looking at her. I was focused on the road ahead. The rain was coming down hard, causing visibility to be slightly impaired.

The traffic slowed down after we exited the parking area. I let out a sigh. I leaned my head against the headrest as I lazily maneuvered the car with my right hand.

"Is there a storm?" Shane asked.

I turned my head in her direction to look at her. She was gazing at the views outside her window. I directed my attention there as well.

Despite the almost zero visibility, I saw a familiar face taking shelter under a small tree. She held a white box tightly and in the other hand, a paper bag. She was completely soaked from the heavy rain.

"Roll down your window, Shane," I said.

She looked at me. "Why? I'll get wet-"

I moved closer to her and pressed the power window switch beside her. Once it was down, I slightly leaned out my head.

"Sandra! Are you waiting for someone?" I yelled loudly enough for her to hear.

Her lips parted in surprise when she saw me, and her eyes widened slightly. She probably still remembered me, right?

She nodded at me. "N-No, I'm going home."

"Come with us. We'll just drop you off. It'll be difficult for you to find a ride with this heavy rain."

She didn't immediately move and continued to gaze at me. What the hell?

"Get in!" I shouted, as I was starting to get wet from the raindrops.

"Who is she?" Shane whispered.

"She's Cole and Marga's friend," I replied, my gaze still on Sandra.

I just thought it was impolite of me to ignore her, even though I could see she was completely drenched. She's Cole's friend. That's reason enough for me to be kind to her.

When she noticed the car was moving, she quickly ran towards it. I unlocked the car doors until she got inside. Her sweet scent immediately filled my nose. I glanced at her again, and she seemed uncomfortable.

"S-Sorry. I got your seat wet," she said.

I looked at her through the rearview mirror. "No, it's okay. It'll dry."

She nodded and wiped her face with a cloth. I turned my eyes to Shane, who was just looking out of her window.

"Are you okay, Shane?" I asked, noticing her silence.

She turned to me and gave a restrained smile. "Yes. I'm fine. The hotel is close. When are we going to see each other again, Russ?"

"I'll call you."

"Okay," she answered shortly.

That's Shane. She never asks me anything. She never demands anything from me. She goes with the flow.

Soon, my car stopped in front of the hotel. Shane leaned over me and planted a kiss on my lips.

"I'll wait for your call, sexy," she whispered seductively.

I smiled. "Take care, Shane."

She smiled before glancing at Sandra in the back. "I'll go ahead."

"O-Okay," I heard Sandra reply.

Shane climbed out of the car and ran towards the hotel's entrance. The rain was still pouring heavily, so she was surely getting wet. When she was no longer in my sight, I looked at Sandra, who was already staring at me.

"Move here," I said.

"H-Huh?" she asked, confusion in her voice.

"Come over here. Pass through the front. If you get out, you'll get drenched in the rain."

"I-I won't fit there. I'm fine here," she stammered.

I sighed. "I'm not a taxi driver, Sandra."

She blew a breath when she understood what I meant. She stood up and crouched a little. She stepped past me and squeezed herself into the small space in the middle. Her feet almost hit the gear stick, causing her to curse softly. Her fragrance spread like wildfire in my nose as she moved past me. I shifted slightly to give her a bit more space because her sitting position was almost pressing against my face. It was contoured due to the beige skirt she was wearing. Even her fair thighs didn't escape my gaze.

Nice ass.

She sighed again once she had finally settled into the passenger seat. She pushed her hair back from her face before looking back at me. She quickly averted her gaze when she saw that I was also looking at her. A smirk appeared on my lips when I saw the redness on her cheeks.

"Damian is a fucking dick for rejecting this woman."