Chapter 1 Am I ready to heal

Anastasia's POV.

"Mom, please don't do this to me" I found myself screaming and crying, begging my mom not to leave me with my abusive father again because I knew that the possibility of making it out alive was very slim and, frankly speaking, I would just give up.

My dad came out with a gun, pointed it at my head and told my mother that if she didn't leave immediately he was going to kill me, I was only 10.

I hugged my mom one last time as she turned her back, and I head a gunshot! I squirmed in fear thinking I was going to die, but I examined myself and I could not see any blood, my gaze went straight to my mother and I could see the blood gush out from her back and she mouthed the word "run" to me.

"She did not deserve to die like that" I mourned.

Kendra pulled me into a tight hug as I kept mouthing the words, "she did not deserve that."

Nights have been like this since Kendra and I moved in together, I would always wake up sobbing and weeping uncontrollably and Kendra would always be by my side to pull me into a hug and tell me it's okay that my dad can't hurt me anymore., but how can I be so sure when the man who killed my mother still lives freely, I was too young to be traumatized like that.

"I ran away at 15, my dad had gone out, and It took everything in me to flee, I remember stepping out the door and just running, running like my life depended on it, maybe because it did. I heard my mom tell me not to stop, that I could do it. All I needed to do was to take just one more step and one more step took me to three, then four, then where I am now" I sigh as I told Kendra what happened then.

"It's fine now, Ana." Kendra said, still holding me. I've told her of it before but she never gets tired of hearing it over and over again.

Ana is the nickname Kendra gave me because my name was too long for her to keep yelling except when she's mad at me, though.

"Thank you.... I'm so glad I found you, perhaps I would've been dead by now." I giggle!

"I remember when we first met, we looked like two wretched beings. You had only a bag pack and I had a box and a bag of sandwich I stole from my school cafeteria." Kendra laughs.

Kendra constantly tries to lighten the mood. She didn't have a perfect life as well, as a matter of fact, she has scars that she still needs to heal from and maybe that's just what made us whole, each other.

I giggle at the memory of the very first day I met Kendra

"I love you" I whisper to Kendra as she lays on my bed with me and we fell asleep while facing each other.

********

"I can't believe you're still sleeping." Kendra stated, as she had managed to tap me into waking up.

"Just 30 more minutes more" I yawned and tried closing my eyes again.

"You said that like two hours ago." She said dryly.

"But-" I try to defend myself.

"No more but.."

"It's Saturday, I don't understand why we can't just stay in bed."Still complaining with my head buried on the bed.

"Girl, get that flat ass off the bed or remain there if you want us to sleep on the streets by the end of the month" I know what she meant.

"Alright, fine! You win!"

There's something I've always loved about Kendra, she never judged me for my terrifying nights, and she never complained about it too. She had her ways of making me feel comfortable no matter the situation. It's safe to say Kendra is my best friend, she's the closet thing I've had to a sister since I was the only child from a toxic family.

"You can't put that on!" Kendra says as she nearly slaps away my almost faded red gown from my hands.

"Girl today is Saturday, all we need to do is get dressed for grocery shopping then know how much we have left to get you new clothes."

"My clothing can't be that bad, it's still manageable, slightly" I say, looking at the piece of cloth in my hand and wondering if Kendra was right

"Anastasia, please, don't act like you're a poor wretched being for fuck's sake, we have to work our asses off to get what we need, but we can obviously afford clothes, at least better-looking clothes than that rag". She utter while pointing the gown like it's an abomination I am holding on to.

"Girl, take a chill pill. I've got like only $100 in my account, what can I do with that?" I say, showing Kendra my phone account balance.

"Oh right! I have about $250 so guess we can do something with that". She says.

Kendra and I first headed to the grocery store to get relevant items and when we were done we had a couple of dollars to spare, so we decided to go shopping for clothes.

Entering the shopping mall like we really have got the money to buy all the clothes. Only if they know how much we have or can at least, have a peep into our accounts; there will be no hesitation in calling the security to throw us out.

"That gown will surely look pretty on you. You can take it." Kendra says while holding a short black sleeveless gown and i, a similar gown but different colors and styles.

"Did you see the price tag?" I ask her and the first thing she did was to look around.

"You really don't have to be loud, you know? We are not poor." She caution with a tiny tone. Noticing her eye signal, i turn to see some people near us.

We were still checking out cheaper clothes to buy when i notice something is up with Kendra. She seems distracted and so, i followed the gaze.

It's a guy. They are stealing glances of each other. Seeing this, i try so hard not to hit her head on something so she can wake up.

"Girl not today, please!" I say.

"C'mon, this body needs to get laid!" She smirks.

Kendra has always been a lover of sex and is sexually attracted to tall slim guys, I can't judge her for that because Kendra would never judge me for anything.

"Oh my, look at this..." I rush to take a proper look at the jean short. Walking few steps away when.

"Ahem... Hi ladies. What's the name?" He asks with a strong British accent.

It the same guy stealing glances at Kendra. Do I call this love at first sight?

"It's Kendra, and that's Ana, my sister" she says, blushing. She didn't even let me introduce myself.

This can't be the touch Kendra i know. However, she really have a thing for slim tall guys like him. I remember one time she almost fell on the road while drooling for a guy. Embarrassing, right? It was even worse when the guy and his friends burst into laughter. Well, that's then.

"Beautiful names. Nice to meet you Kendra and Ana..... my name is Joel" And Kendra couldn't keep eyes contact. He smiles.

"You've got a nice smile" I compliment as Kendra gives me the stare that says 'stop trying to flirt with my man' and I immediately mouth "sorry" to her.

"Thank you, I see you're trying to pick outfits. Mind if I join?" He asks.

"Of course not" she invites.

********

"Everything will be a hundred and fifty dollars." the cashier tells us with a cheering smile.

Kendra and I stare at ourselves because we know that that would cost all of our money, but we attempt to play it cool.

"Let it be my treat to you, my lady." Joel says from behind.

"Don't worry, it's fine." Kendra replies, and I stare at her in shock, but I let it slide.

Joel hands over his credit card to the cashier, ignoring the words of Kendra and she started blushing.

"Thank you" Kendra and I thank Joel at once.

"It's fine, mind if I drop you off?" He offers.

"Not at all" I say, not giving Kendra the space to refuse and make us walk home.

******

"It's here." I tell Joel who is carried away while discussing with Kendra, and he parks right in front of our house.

"Want to come in for Dinner?" Kendra offers.

"Maybe some other time, at least I know where you live" he winks.

"Girl, you cook good food" Kendra compliments as she has a mouthful of spaghetti meatballs.

"As expected, I learned to cook when I was 6, mom always told me to come........"

"Come learn how to cook, so you could always prepare dishes for your husband when you get married, since home cooked meals are better than takeouts, you've told me this a thousand times already." Kendra interrupts.

"A thousand and one won't hurt" I giggle.

After breakfast, Kendra decides to go to the library to read some books, she has always been an avid lover of books and often read to run away from the realities of life.

Since I was the only one at home, I decide to binge-watch any movie I could find on my laptop.

I heard a loud knock on the apartment door and I realized, I had fallen asleep while binge-watching a movie.

I looked through the eye hole and see a frustrated Kendra with a bag of only God knows what.

"Kendra what's wrong" is the first thing I utter while opening the door and helping her with her bag

"I got kicked out of the library for laughing too hard, common the book were funny." she exasperated

"Don't fucking kill me, you look like a fuming Tom from Tom and Jerry.... What's in the bag?" I ask between laughs.

"It's not funny" Kendra says and giggles a little.

"Since I got kicked out, why not just borrow some books to read here instead" she smiles.

"Did you borrow them, or you stole them?" i fold my arms while asking suspiciously.

"It doesn't matter, all that matters is that I have my books with me" She says, avoiding eyes contact.

I shake my head and laugh at Kendra's childish behavior.

The night came by fast and so did Sunday, and before I knew it, it was Monday again and I had to go to work.

Waking up is always the most annoying part of my day but, I guess I need to find out what the world has in store for me. It may be pain or the reverse.