Chapter 4 Decision

Lavender went about her day like a miserable person. Her eyes were deep and hollow from crying throughout the night and her strength was almost depleted. She would have applied a lot of makeup to cover it up, but she didn't have the money to purchase a decent makeup kit. Her skin easily reacted if she used cheap or fake beauty products so she resulted in making natural concoctions to sustain her beauty. Still, the herbal and fruit mix was only for skincare and not to cover the horrible state of her face.

It'd been days since her children broke the news to her and she'd been thinking nonstop. She was unable to sleep and spent the night crying or frantically staring at her two youngest children to make sure they were still breathing. The day before, the youngest suddenly started feeling dizzy and wheezing, and she knew it was connected to the second youngest. If she didn't act on time, she didn't want to think of what would happen. She was getting desperate and more depressed. It also irked her because earlier the day before, the wealthy father of the children arrived in the city.

Lavender gnawed on her nails. She was swamped with thoughts of reaching out to him. It was the fastest way to ensure her children's survival. Not only will he provide money and better treatment for them, but he could also give them a good education and a better life. Lavender wanted to tell herself that he'd reject his children but she knew that he wouldn't, he wasn't that kind of person. At the same time, she couldn't trust him. He wasn't the type of person to backstab someone yet he drove a sword into her back and pierced her heart. Lavender couldn't rely on him.

Along with that, she was afraid. Even if he rejected them, she knew his parents would never, and neither would his sisters. They never treat their family badly and hold importance to children's welfare. The problem was that she was afraid they would take them away from her. She was afraid of meeting him again. After painfully lying that their father was a good man and that they were in love, she didn't want them to see her as the liar she was. She didn't want to go back to that man and pretend like everything was okay. She despised him, she wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. Her pride was involved.

When she thought about all the pains and suffering she'd endured for years just for them, the thought of allowing that man to come out of nowhere and butter everything up made her sick. She felt like the children should only be allowed to be with her, no one else. Lavender was fully aware that she was being selfish, especially with her children's lives involved, but she couldn't bring herself to make a good decision. She believed she would find a way.

It felt like her consciousness scoffed at her. She had tons of accumulating debts to sort out and had to pay for rent or they'd be homeless. She couldn't think of how the money would appear. She thought of meeting Mr. Miller and asking for help and signing an agreement to work until the money was repaid, but she knew that was a fairytale wish. Her salary was only enough to feed them and pay for some minor bills, even if she worked until she was shaking to her bones, she'd never be able to pay back with her salary. Plus, how would they feed and pay rent if she wasn't getting her monthly paycheck? Her other jobs just might cut it, but it still wouldn't be enough. In addition to that, Mr. Miller didn't have that money. He was just a manager of a small hotel and only had enough money to live comfortably with his family.

That plan was checked out.

She thought of another option but quickly shook her head to dismiss the thought. She promised herself and her two eldest children that she'd never venture to that type of life ever again. She didn't want to lose their love and respect and most especially, she didn't want the buried trauma to rise. In the past, when things got too hard for her, she resolved to sleep with a few men to get money for her children's treatment, awful men that left her more broken than she already was. It only happened for a year but that year was the worst for her.

Lavender shuddered at the thought of sleeping with any other man. She'd developed mild genophobia over the years. The thought of sex made her cringe.

The loud and sharp ringing of her phone snapped her out of her thoughts. She blushed with embarrassment from the abnormal sound her phone was making. It was an old phone struggling to survive just like her. She pushed herself off the counter a little and reached into her pocket for the device. Savia's name was boldly written on the screen. She slid the green icon up and placed the phone to her ear. "Savvy, darling,"

"Mom, I don't know what's wrong with Zyaire!" Savia's frantic voice echoed in her ear. Lavender's heart skipped a couple of beats and her hands began to tremble. The fact that Savia sounded distraught meant that it was serious. When she left the house in the morning, Zyaire was complaining about some pains in his belly button and the right side of his lower abdomen. It wasn't the first time but she'd been too busy to take him to the hospital for a checkup.

"What happened to Zyaire?"

"He suddenly started feeling severe pain and then he got dizzy and fell down the staircase. Old man Joe helped us take him to the hospital but when we reached there, Serenity suddenly had another episode and collapsed,"

"Where? What hospital? Tell me!"

____

Serious appendicitis, needs an emergency appendectomy. Zyaire was suffering from that. Serenity needed her drugs immediately and the doctor referred Lavender to a bigger and more expensive hospital for better diagnosis.

Lavender gnawed at her fingers as she stared at the test result in her hand. The bills, how was she going to pay for them? Where will she get the money from? In situations like this, she wished for that nice doctor who would say he or she would carry out treatment so she could pay later, but it was also the same time such a person never appeared. The entire thing was stressing her out and she could easily clear everything with three simple steps, but she couldn't. She didn't want to.

Savia, who had been staring at her mother with a deep frown on her face, averted her eyes to her brother and gritted her teeth. Zachary saw the expression on her face and understood what it meant. He gently lifted the head of their youngest sibling which was on his lap and placed it on the leather seat, then stood up. He snapped his fingers at Savia and inclined his head towards the hallway. Lavender was too busy mulling over what to do to notice the two older children walk away.

The children found an empty ward to enter and immediately they were inside, Savia furiously kicked the trash can and screamed with frustration. "Shh, don't shout," Zachary whispered.

"Urgh! She's just so annoying!" Savia said with a high-pitched voice. Not loud enough to be a scream but louder than a normal pitch. Zach gave her a dirty look and she scoffed, folding her arms stubbornly. "I love that woman but when it comes to things like this, she's exceedingly annoying. How can someone who always knows the end result of something still make bad decisions? She is well aware of what will happen to her children and just like always, she makes up a stupid reason in her head to convince herself otherwise and then continues with her folly. She's like an idiot gifted with clairvoyance. Only an idiot will see and know how things will turn out and still use a dumb delusion to cover the truth so well it doesn't exist and the result is always regret!"

"We already know that is how she is but we can't let her drag her children into this any further. Mom needs psychological help, but let's focus on saving our siblings. If anything happens to them, as usual, she'll never forgive herself, and neither will I. I can't let this continue when I know I could have done better,"

"But what do we do Zachary? What if you try hacking into that man's account or something?"

Zachary tapped his forehead. "I got this from him. Do you think it'll be possible to invade his privacy? Do you think I haven't already tried?"

"What about his phone numbers? Surely you must know a private number or something?" Zachary shook his head. Savia bit her middle finger and suppressed another scream. She placed her other hand on her hip and started to pace.

Zachary watched her for a few seconds before sighing and scratching the back of his head. There was only one way out but he didn't like that. It wasn't like they were eager to meet their father, they just needed their siblings to be safe. There was no other choice. "Savia, you have to threaten Mom, it's the only way," Zach watched his sister stop pacing and stare at him with surprise. He knew that would be her reaction and he also knew that on normal days, Savia would never agree. He knew she would with a little persuasion because their siblings' lives depended on it.

What Zach didn't expect was for her to turn and walk out of the ward without asking any questions or protesting. Zach rushed after her and followed behind, a little surprised. When Savia returned to her mother, she stood in front of her, and with a powerful and cold voice, she called out harshly to her mother. Lavender was shocked out of her daze when she heard her full name being called. She looked up to see her angry firstborn glowering at her.

Lavender sat up straight and stared at Savia puzzledly. She opened her mouth to speak but her daughter beat her to it and her words made her heart sink. "If anything happens to my younger sibling, Mom, even if there's a gun to my head, I'll never forgive you."

Lavender stared wide-eyed at her daughter, her sunk heart starting to accelerate. She blinked as if she was in a dream, but it was reality. Savia pointed at her angrily. "I know you have your worries and fears, and even your pride and past trauma, but woman, if you don't snap out of it and make a hard decision, everything you've been working hard for will be wasted. I don't think you're even realizing that you're going to cause the death of three of your children and make the remaining two despise you for the rest of your life. Stop being selfish and save them!!!"

Lavender flinched. A sudden cold made her body shiver. The words of her daughter echoed in her head over and over again. It took only a minute but in that short time, she imagined a life without her three lovely children and the remaining two hating her. It was a nightmare. As if hypnotized, she fell to her knees and crawled over to Zach, then grabbed him on the shoulders frantically. "Zachary, get your laptop now, I need you to hack something for me,"