Chapter 2 CHAPITRE 1

Maeva (soft voice): Dad? Where's mommy?

Me: She's not here, sweetie.

Maeva: When is she coming back? Doesn't she love me anymore?

I carried my daughter and sat down with her on the armchair. What can I say to her? I still can't believe Laetitia is gone. It's been a month and I still don't realize, how? Why can't she? It's been a month and she hasn't returned my calls or messages. She doesn't even try to see her daughter. What's going on with her? After five years together, she decides to drop everything for money? I'd never have thought her capable of that.

I looked at Maeva in my arms, twisting a stuffed toy in her hands. I smiled because at least I have my daughter with me, my pretty little baby, but on the other hand, what am I going to invent to justify her mother's absence? Why doesn't she come to see her? Even to check on her.

Mom: David?

Me: ...

Mom: Is your mixed race always the reason you're like this?

Me: Mom, stop it, please.

Mom (hand on hips) : What am I stopping? That's what you've always told me, isn't it? Where is she today? Doesn't the child even care? What mother? Look how you've lost weight in the last month.

Me (sighing): Mum...

Mom: David I'm sick, you're my only son. I can't take care of the little one properly, you're doing your own thing. Call his sister who thinks she's white!

Me (looking up): To tell her what? I think she knows. I even think Laetitia's at her place.

Mom : She is, isn't she?

Me: Where would you like her to go?

Mom: Son, you don't know the woman, do you?

Pfff that's it! She's going to go back into her delirium. For my mother, Laetitia has all the wrong qualities: she's seductive, deceitful, materialistic, lazy, in short. I've always liked Laetitia just the way she is, and even though I love her, I feel a twinge of sadness, because life really is nothing.

Maeva (rubbing her eyes): Daddy, I'm hungry.

Me: Would you like some milk?

Maeva: yes

I got up, took a cup and put some Nestlé milk in it, then heated up some water. I took some bread with butter and put it on the table. I sat her down at the table. She dipped her bread in the milk and started eating while Mum went back to the bedroom.

I left the house and went to take a shower out back. On my way out wearing shorts and with my towel around my neck, I bumped into Sandra next door. She smiled at me as usual and said hello.

Sandra (smiling): How are you David?

Me (looking at her): How are you?

Sandra : Well... uh tell me, it's been a while since I've seen your wife?

Me: She's out of town.

Sandra (unconvinced) : ah ok!

I didn't want to linger and went back into the house. Maeva had apparently spilled her milk as Mom was wiping it up with a sponge. I put on a T-shirt and pants. I had to go and see my mate for a change of scene, but I'm not going to wait too long so as not to leave Mum alone with the little one.

Once I was ready, I tried to call Laetitia for the umpteenth time, but there's been no news for a month. It's really a nightmare without her, seeing the little one asking me for her mother every hour, not having the one I love any more, it's torture, not forgetting the way my mother looks at me.

Sometimes I think money is the key to success, it's what buys everything in life. If you don't have money, you don't have a wife, you're nobody in fact. It's as if money defines a man's strength and abilities, his very beauty. But I wasn't prepared for Laetitia to let me down one day, knowing that she'd been through much worse with me. Pff better I go. I went out at 8 p.m. to meet Gildas and Ben in a maquis.

Gildas (slapping my hand): Is he top of the line?

Me: Average! Where is Ben?

Gildas: I think he went for a pee.

Me: Okay!

I saw Ben coming, we clapped hands and he sat down. Gildas, Ben and I have been friends since high school. Gildas only got his A-levels, which is one of the reasons why we do odd jobs together. Ben, on the other hand, was luckier because his parents had the means, he has a master's degree in economics and works for a large local company.

The waitress came up to us, greeted me kindly and made pretty eyes at me. I've told you I'm not naughty, I'm a good-looking guy I know, but I'm not the charming type. We placed our order and I took a small beer.

Gildas (looking at me): Have you heard from Laetitia?

Me (laughing): Nothing, man! I haven't known what she's been doing with her life for a month, I still don't get it.

Gildas: It's especially hot for the little one. I didn't think Laetitia was capable of that, and all for a matter of money and stuff? But it's not the first time, it happens, if you don't have, you're not going to steal?

Me (taking a sip): Money controls every guy. But it's killing me, I love Laetitia.

Ben (looking at me): You should zap, she doesn't deserve you.

I looked at Ben, he looked totally serious. Ben is a woman's man, 28 years old, single, rather libertine. He indulges himself whenever he wants, but all it takes is a little exposure and a few bucks to get a woman.

Me: Dude, you can't say that!

Ben (sarcastic laugh): David... Laetitia is young and beautiful, she must have gone elsewhere on the advice of her sister and her bitchy girlfriends.

Gildas: I can confirm that.

Me (looking at each of them in turn): What's the matter with you all? Did you get along with my mother or something?

Ben: Have you seen who she hangs out with?

Ben went out with two of Laetitia's girlfriends with no pressure. He finished his beer and asked for a second round. Laetitia is who she is, but she's still in my thoughts.

Around 10pm, after drinking 4 beers, my head was pounding a bit. I'm not much of a drinker. Ben offered to give me a lift. Once on the main road at the boulevard, he pulled up to the curb to park for a while.

Me (taking off my seatbelt): thanks guy

Ben (looking at me): You're welcome brother. Tell me, David, how did you end up here?

Me (sighing) : You know I didn't have a choice.

Ben (raising an eyebrow): You've got a BTS in accounting, you'd started your degree and you were among the best if I'm not mistaken. Why don't you look for a good job?

Me: Well, it's not as if I haven't done it. But today's system is rotten, and I don't feel like dropping my pants to be in an office.

Ben: maybe because you're knocking on the wrong doors

Me (shrugging): Maybe, as you say. But why? Do you have any leads for me?

Ben (smiling): Leads, no, more like ONE lead!

Me (raising an eyebrow): Interesting. But you know that the BTS is three years behind me anyway.

Ben: I know you're smart, bro. But the question is, are you motivated? Are you ready to work hard?

Me (laughing): What could be harder than what I do every day under the sun?

Ben: At least you don't have to go to the gym.

Me (amused): Anyway, I've got a daughter and a mother to get to.

Ben: I've got a meeting on Friday, I'll talk about you and keep you posted.

Me (on the way down) : ok man

I came home tired. Mom was in her room with Maeva asleep. I picked up my daughter and took her to my room to sleep with me. I said good night to Mom and locked myself in. Tomorrow is an early wake-up call.

At 8 o'clock, I was on the building site with Gildas and the other guys. The owner of the future house came to see the work around 2pm.

Boss: good job David! You're making good progress! My wife will be happy, she just got back from Dubai yesterday, she'll be coming by today.

Me: Yes, I'll be plastering the kitchen wall tomorrow and tackling the back.

Boss: Well, how's the family?

Me: Fine, sir, and how are you?

While we were talking, the guard opened the gate and a Prado car pulled in and parked. The door opened and I saw a young, fair-skinned woman get out of the car. She was wearing a short-skirted suit, a black jacket and a plunging neckline. She took off her sunglasses and approached me. It's the first time I've seen his wife.

Boss: there you are, darling!

She: hello my love.

They kissed and then he introduced me to his wife. I didn't offer her my hand because she's dirty. I'm the group leader, so I'm usually the one the boss speaks to. His wife Angélique looked at me from head to toe, really staring at me to the point where I was a little embarrassed. The boss's phone rang, and he stepped back to answer it.

Angélique (staring at me): So you're the one in charge?

Me: Would you like a tour?

Angelique: Well, why not? My husband's still talking on the phone.

Boss (hanging up): I've got to run, take the tour and if you've got anything to change, check with David, he'll talk to the guys.

Angélique: Okay, see you tonight!

He got back in the car with his driver to leave. I went back into the house with Angélique. She's right behind me, so I had the impression she was looking at me more than the house. We walked around the house and then out again. She showed her satisfaction by saying she'd come back tomorrow.

Gildas: Has she got a crush on you or what? Watch out!

Me: No, she didn't!

That evening I came home tired, I stopped to buy a top-up card to call Laetitia but this time her phone rang unavailable. Fuck, I'm fed up. I'm tired and even more so when I get home and find my daughter crying.

Maeva (hiccupping): I want my mother...

Me (sighing): Maeva Mommy's not here

Maeva: When is she coming to get me?

Me: I don't know, sweetie

Maeva: but daddy snif... call mommy

Maeva is crying her eyes out. I saw my mother looking at me in despair. I got out of the house and finally called her sister Laurence. She didn't pick up, so I insisted. After the third time, she answered.

Laurence: hello?

Me (deep voice): Good evening Laurence!

Laurence : Yes, hello, who's this?

Me : It's David

Laurence : yes, what's up?

Me : I'm calling because I think you know that Laetitia left me, giving up the baby a month ago.

Laurence (annoyed): And what do you want me to do?

Always arrogant that woman, I'd like to slap her around a lot. But I'm calming down and trying to get some useful information.

Me: Do you think it's normal for her to abandon her daughter? Maeva cries all the time

Laurence: David, sorry, Maeva cries for her mother and what do you want me to do?

Me: but at least talk to your sister

Laurence: She doesn't want you anymore David, we don't want broke people in our family. You can't give her money, she's gone elsewhere, do you think a beautiful girl like that is going to waste her time with you?

I accused myself when she said that, my throat tightening. Laetitia, the real woman! Did she go somewhere else? Okay, I'll deal with it later, I'll take it easy.

Me: Okay, but at least let her call her daughter.

Laurence: Sorry David, save your crumbs and find yourself a poor girl, but don't think you'll ever see my sister again.

Click! She hung up on me. I banged my head against the wall, so angry but sad at the same time. I sat in the doorway with my head in my hands. I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head: Laetitia, why? Is love like this? Did she really love me to begin with? So without money I'm nothing?

Two days later

Today's Saturday, I leave the pharmacy with Mom's medication. Two are missing, I'll take them at the end of the month, I've taken the essentials. I went to buy some things for the house, then came home. My phone rang, number unknown.

Me: Hello?

Angelique: Hello David, it's Angelique!

Me: Uh, yes, ma'am... what can I do for you?

Angelique? Pffff how and where did she get my number? Anyway, what does she want with me? I was a bit skeptical.

Angelique: you can call me by my first name, it's no problem! Uh... I went to the field and realized you weren't there.

Me: Yes, I'm not working today.

Angélique : ah that's a shame...

Me : Why? Is something wrong?

Angelique: I wanted to see you and have a chat...

Me: There are other workers at the site. Would you like to change anything?

Angelique: No, everything's fine. I wanted to see YOU... I'll be by late Monday afternoon. We can go for a drink!

Me: ...

Angélique: my husband's out of town and I'm a bit bored... if you know what I mean.

Look at me one, you're bored and what's wrong with me? Did she see me as the distraction? Honestly, she's a very beautiful woman but I don't touch that kind of product, it's too much trouble. She's not old, she can't be more than 40 in any case, she's a good woman, but no and I don't have that much to do.

Me: uh, I don't know if that's a good idea.

Angélique: I'll let you think about it, and we'll talk again on Monday! Have a nice day, you can reach me at this number

Me: Have a nice day too!

I hung up thinking. Nonsense! I gave Mum her sachet from the chemist's, then dressed Maeva and took her for a walk on the beach. We went to the seaside, I took a table and offered her an ice cream. She was telling me stories, she's beautiful, my daughter, it's normal she looks like me. My phone buzzed.

Me: yes?

Ben: How are you, man?

Me : Good and you ?

Ben : How are you? Are you free right now? I'm at the democracy traffic circle, I'll pick you up.

Me : Sorry, I'm in a private meeting.

Ben (amused) : what the hell? So where are you? I need to talk to you.

Me (looking at Maeva) : I'm at Léon Mba with the little girl.

Ben: Okay, I'm coming!

I put my phone on the table. Maeva had vanilla ice cream on the tip of her nose, so I took the handkerchief to wipe it off and continued drinking my Coke.

Maeva: Who was Daddy?

Me: Uncle Ben!

Maeva: Did you tell him you were with me?

Me: Yes, he's on his way.

Maeva: Okay!

Ben arrived, sat down and ordered a heineken. We chatted about everything. Then Maeva played in the sand, and I kept a close eye on her.

Ben: I had a meeting yesterday!

Me (watching Maeva): Yeah...

Ben: So I said I was going to talk to my colleagues for you.

Me (looking at him): were you serious?

Ben: Yeah, man, we've got a job opening for an accountant!

I frowned, I don't know. It's not that I don't want to, but I got my BTS three years ago, so I don't know if I'm really ready for it. Especially since it's a big company in Libreville.

Me (grimacing): Well, it's hot. I don't have much experience apart from internships.

Ben (looking at me) : I know, but that's not a problem. There's going to be a training course, and as I told you this week, what we really need is someone who's motivated and ambitious! Do you understand me, man?