Chapter 2 What Should I Do

Elzi was torn. Ben knew it for sure. It was so human for her not to know what to do at that moment.

However, Ben decided not to let Elzi drown in her indecision. He acted immediately instead of waiting.

Without any warning, Ben pulled Elzi's face and their lips met, without a single mistake.

Elzi's eyes widened. Realizing that in a matter of seconds-seconds that she could not avoid, her lips had disappeared in a deep kiss.

Shock from the situation that trapped her and confusion about her future left Elzi bewildered. She could not resist Ben's kiss.

"Ssst."

Ben had been trying to soothe Elzi all this time, gently stroking the top of her head repeatedly. He did not loosen his embrace even a bit. He also did not stop saying a few comforting words to get Elzi to stop crying.

But it was all in vain. Elzi became even more agitated. Ironically, Elzi was sure that Ben's coaxing would have worked if he had been persuading a child who had just lost their candy. Not a twenty-nine-year-old woman who had just lost her virginity!

"It's okay, Zi. You don't need to cry like this."

At first, it sounded like a somewhat comforting statement. However, wait until Ben closed it like this.

"Ssst!"

Ben held back a chuckle. He did not want to provoke Elzi even more.

"It's up to you. How can I not cry? After everything that has happened between us tonight, do you think I should laugh? Really?"

Ben dramatically closed his eyes. "I mean, your tears are not useful at all. Your tears won't change what has happened. Because if tears could change what happened tonight, I guarantee you, I'd cry along with you."

Elzi pursed her lips tightly, trying to suppress the desire to scream in front of the guy and draw the attention of all their friends who might also be staying the night.

"I know!" she snapped emotionally. "Nothing will change. We don't have Doraemon's magic pocket to go back in time."

"Well, you know that," Ben replied. "So what's the point of crying over something that has already happened? It's useless. Don't cry over spilt milk, okay? It only tires you out and doesn't yield any results."

Elzi fell silent. Instead of responding to Ben's words, she bit her lower lip, allowing the tears that wet her cheeks to slowly dry.

Ben took a brief breath. Seeing Elzi silent, he spoke again.

"I will marry you, Zi. I promise. You don't need to worry. You can hold onto my words. This time, believe me, I will really marry you."

Still not saying anything, Elzi continued to listen to every word spoken from Ben's lips. Yet, she remained silent. As if waging an internal battle, she continued to stay mute.

Ben gave up. He decided to follow Elzi's lead. If the girl wanted them to remain silent throughout the night, then that's what he would do.

"I'm already engaged, Ben."

Softly and weakly, Elzi finally spoke again. Even without realizing it, she mentioned the guy's name for the first time.

For a moment, Ben blinked. After Elzi spoke, it was actually him who fell silent.

"I'm already engaged, and we plan to get married early next year," Elzi continued, closing her eyes dramatically. "It's just a few months away, but...."

Elzi could not continue her sentence. Instead, she shed more tears, and they fell on Ben's shirt sleeve.

How could this accident happen when I'm already engaged? When I'm ready to get married? Even without the engagement drama, this accident would clearly be a problem. Let alone with the status of being engaged and the upcoming wedding plans right in front of me? Oh God.

The engagement that bound her only made Elzi more confused. Ironically, if she could choose, she would have preferred this mishap to happen before she got engaged.

"We don't know what will happen to you in the next few months, Zi," Ben whispered. "What if this accident tonight turns out to be..."

This time, Ben did not continue his sentence. He just took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"It's all up to you. What you want to do is your right. I'll give you time to think about all of this, Zi."

Elzi lifted her face, intending to respond, but she was taken aback when she saw Ben immediately kiss her forehead. Briefly.

"Think it through. I will marry you if you want to," Ben said, sighing. "And if you still choose to marry your fiancé, then... I won't do anything."

Elzi nodded slowly. It seemed that a little common sense that remained made her agree with Ben. She was exhausted, and she needed to think things through calmly. She did not want to make hasty decisions.

Ben released his hold on Elzi and stood up.

"Let's get ready. Let me take you home," Ben said, looking at Elzi with uncertainty in his eyes. "Uh, do you have a car or...?"

Elzi shook her head. "My car is at the repair shop. I took a taxi here."

"Okay," Ben nodded with relief on his face. "That's good. Let me take you back right now. With all this mess, it wouldn't be pleasant if any of our friends see us in this state."

Elzi nodded and stood up, clutching the remaining blanket in front of her chest. She looked around and found only Ben's scattered clothes and a towel kimono on a chair.

Not finding what she was looking for, Elzi asked, "Where are my clothes, Ben? Why are they not here?"

The question made Ben look around as well. However, he shrugged lightly and replied, "I don't remember, Zi. I was drunk earlier."

Elzi closed her eyes dramatically. "Drunk! Drunk! Drunk!" she exclaimed with frustration, especially when a frightening thought crossed her mind.

If there are no clothes, how am I going to get back? There's no way I'll go back just wearing a bra, right? Oh, please! I'm not some crazy person wandering around!

While Elzi took a deep breath to calm her rekindling emotions, Ben grabbed a pair of jeans and put them on. Elzi's eyes widened, and she quickly turned away. In her heart, she cursed how easy it was for guys to get dressed without feeling embarrassed.

"Ben, I can't go back like this. Where did you put my clothes?! Argh! Am I supposed to go back wearing just a bra?!"

Not answering her question, Ben instead grabbed his shirt, slipping it over his head. Then he grabbed his blazer, approached Elzi, and handed it to her.

Elzi gaped. "Huh?"

"It's better than going back with just a bra on, right?" Ben said casually.

Elzi thought that the night could not get any worse, but she was wrong. Not only was the accident with Ben testing her patience, but now even her clothes seemed to want to make the situation more complicated.

Being tall and big, Ben's clothes were naturally large too. So, it was not surprising that the blazer miraculously covered Elzi's modest body down to the middle of her thighs, allowing her to stand without needing the blanket anymore.

Elzi looked down at her plain legs and shook her head. That was not a good idea.

"I can't go back like this. If anyone at home sees me, I'm sure they'll all have a heart attack," Elzi said, imagining her parents and her sibling clutching their chests in unison.

"I've already lost my virginity tonight. I don't want to lose my family too."

Elzi's confusion did not escape Ben's attention. It seemed he could easily guess her thoughts. He moved closer to her and offered a solution.

"How about this? We go to my place first. I can grab a pair of pants or a skirt from my sister, Reese. You can wear that to go back. It's a good idea, right?" Ben suggested. "Besides, you can't wake up Angel and tell her that you need clothes to go back because we both forgot where your clothes are."

At least Ben could offer a better solution at that moment. Elzi nodded and accepted Ben's offer.

Elzi and Ben made sure there was nothing left behind, including their phones lying on the nightstand.

Ben took his phone, then handed Elzi's to her. In passing, Ben caught a glimpse of Elzi, who was stunned, staring at her phone screen. There was a missed call symbol with the number twenty-eight displayed in front of it.

Elzi took a deep breath, deciding to ignore the missed call from her fiancé for the time being. Instead, she allowed Ben to take her hand and said, "Let's go. We need to get out of here."

*

Monday morning, Elzi found her face in a terrible state. Although she successfully disguised her swollen eyes with the help of makeup, it could not hide the fact that her expression looked so distressed. It was clear evidence that she was under pressure. And the cause of it was Ben's offer to meet outside during their lunch break.

Taking a deep breath, Elzi pondered whether to accept or reject the invitation. Then, she received a message from Ben on her phone.

Ben:

I'll wait for you at CC Corner this afternoon, Zi.

We need to talk.

You know it.

Contemplating each word in the message, Elzi felt a shiver run through her body. It was like the feeling she got when she returned home late and passed by the old banyan tree in front of her house. Eek, frightening.

Various bad possibilities crossed Elzi's mind. And she felt helpless as she could not concentrate on her work at that moment. Especially when the events of that night kept replaying in her mind, stirring up emotions inside her.

The night before, before Ben took her home, they had gone to his place first. While Elzi waited in the car, Ben quickly went inside his house. And it did not take long for him to come back with a skirt in his hand. To some extent, it puzzled Elzi. How could Ben get that skirt? Did he ask his sister for it? Ehm... Elzi doubted it.

However, when Elzi arrived home, her curiosity was finally answered. Ben had taken the skirt from the laundry. It was an undeniable fact when the creases from where it was folded were still visible on the soft fabric. To complete the story, Elzi had transformed into a foolish person who wore that skirt in the car!

"Aaah...."

Sighing softly, Elzi rubbed her face repeatedly. Really, she would never forget the feeling of wearing a skirt without underwear! Luckily, they were in a car yesterday. What if they were on a motorcycle? Wouldn't it be a thrilling journey to the heavenly valley down there?

"Damn perverted guy!" Elzi muttered with an emotion-laden voice. "How could he even forget where he put my clothes?"

Aaargh!

She felt the urge to pull her hair if she did not remember she had a work-appropriate bun on her head. It was evident that one fact made her even more infuriated.

"I just bought the dress I wore to the reunion event."

And it cost almost half of my salary! Now? The money is gone, and the dress is nowhere to be found!

As time went by, Elzi realized that her annoyance towards Ben was growing. It almost drove her to madness, making her inclined to decline Ben's invitation. But then, Elzi realized. Nobody could guarantee that the events of that night would not result in her becoming pregnant.

So, with a heavy heart, Elzi replied to the message with just one word.

Elzi:

Okay.

Due to the busy lunch hour and heavy traffic on the streets, Elzi decided to take the train to meet Ben even though she had her car at the office. Being stuck in a car during traffic jams was the last thing she wanted, especially with her unstable emotions that day. Who could guarantee that meeting Ben would not make her go crazy? What if she ended up driving onto the sidewalk?

Moreover, while being inside the train, Elzi could contemplate the possible choices she had to make. At this point, she believed that any decision she made would come with its own set of risks.

The first option was to marry Ben, which meant canceling her engagement. That would not be an easy thing to do. Would she not be ridiculed by both families?

The second option was to refuse to marry Ben. It seemed tempting, but there were risks involved. What if she refused and ended up getting pregnant? Wouldn't that bring her multiplied shame? Shame for breaking off the engagement and shame for being pregnant outside of marriage?

Both options came with significant risks. Something she had to carefully consider. Making the wrong decision could put her life and future at stake.

Arriving at CC Corner, Elzi did not immediately enter. She observed the place for a moment and realized something.

It's totally Ben's favorite hangout spot. He always likes places that feel cozy and homey.

Greeting the cafe staff briefly, Elzi paused as she entered. Scanning the place, she spotted Ben sitting at a table in the corner. Without wasting any time, she approached him.

Noticing someone's arrival, Ben raised his head from the menu book. With an unreadable expression, he welcomed her. As Elzi took her seat, he handed her the menu book and asked, "What would you like to eat?"

Not paying much attention to the menu, Elzi pointed to a random picture. "This."

"Drink?" Ben asked, only to shake his head the next second. "I know. Orange juice."

Saying nothing, Elzi nonchalantly watched as Ben raised his hand to call the waiter and placed their order. After the waiter left, a silence settled between them. Both Elzi and Ben seemed lost in their own thoughts.

After a while, their orders arrived, and the waiter efficiently and neatly served the food and drinks on the table before leaving them alone. Not immediately starting their meal, Elzi instead found herself puzzled by the dish in front of her. Her forehead wrinkled instantly.

Did I order spaghetti earlier?

Instead of diving into the delicious meal, Elzi shifted her attention to her orange juice. She took a small sip before picking up her fork to taste the food. It was tasty, but her unsettled emotions hindered her appetite, and she ended up putting the fork back on the plate. Ben's keen eyes noticed her lack of interest.

"Hey, aren't you eating? Is it not good? Are you not hungry?" he inquired.

Exhaling a tired sigh, Elzi raised her face slightly, showing minimal interest in Ben's questions, just enough to hear his response.

"Or... have you started experiencing any symptoms?" he continued.

Confused, Elzi furrowed her brow, "What symptoms?"

"Fever, loss of appetite, nausea... That's what Reese mentioned at the beginning of her pregnancy," Ben replied, his expression serious.

Reacting instinctively, Elzi reached out to pinch Ben's arm, making his cheeks turn red, "Do you think pregnancy is like cooking instant noodles? Pour some hot water and it's done?"

Ignoring the slight pain from Elzi's pinch, Ben asked another question that further irked her, "Uh... was it warm yesterday?"

"Huh?! Warm?" Elzi could not believe what she was hearing, "How could you say that!"

"Sorry, I was just asking," Ben apologized.

"That's not an appropriate question, you psycho!" Elzi retorted with a glare. "Pregnancy doesn't happen that quickly! It takes time. At least around a month!"

As Elzi heard herself saying that, she was taken aback by her own thoughts. The idea of waiting for a month was unsettling.

Do I have to wait that long? Oh God.

She rubbed her face and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, while Ben seemed to thoroughly enjoy his lunch. Suddenly, the thought of marrying Ben crossed her mind, sending shivers down her spine.

There's no way I could suddenly marry Ben.

As if I'll act all innocent in front of my family, saying, "I want to marry this guy only. Because there's a potential Oceana citizen growing in my belly."

Oh dear!

Elzi dramatically closed her eyes. Her imagination managed to send shivers down her spine even without a command. Because it was clear that if she said that to her parents, they would explode with anger, something like this:

"Are you cursed or possessed, Elzi Amelia Collins? If you want to continue the existence of this creature with him, why did you get engaged to the other guy? Do you want to embarrass your parents or have you lost all sense of shame?"

Ah, she could already imagine it. It would not be easy at all. Her parents would be furious if she cancelled the engagement, especially because her family had already accepted the other guy. But...

"What choice should I make?"

Unconsciously, carried away by her thoughts, the question slipped out of Elzi's red-lipsticked lips. Strangely enough, it caught Ben off guard, causing him to set down his spoon on the edge of the bowl. Taking his glass, Ben took a few sips before clearing his throat softly.

"You have to make a decision soon, Zi," he said.

Elzi looked at Ben in disbelief, "Can't believe you're actually pushing me to decide. I know I have to make a decision. But it's not easy, Ben. At least not as easy as you taking off my clothes that night!"

"Cough!"

Ben quickly cleared his throat again, hastily swallowing his drink. He took a deep breath before continuing, "Like I said last night, I will marry you. But it can't happen suddenly. We need to prepare for many things."

"I know."

"So," Ben said, deliberately pausing before his next words, as if he wanted to add dramatic effect to his statement, "decide now. Should we wait for a month until those symptoms appear before we start preparing for our wedding?"

Our wedding? Oh, my goodness.

Elzi suddenly felt nauseous in her stomach.

Oh dear. This can't be some kind of rapidly developing pregnancy symptom, can it?

"That's not possible, Zi. If we are going to get married, the sooner, the better. Do you want to get married when your belly is already big?"

Oh no. Elzi's eyes widened in horror at Ben's words. Fear immediately crept in.

"Besides, there's a lot to prepare for a wedding," Ben continued. "Do you think marriage is like a school exam where you study the night before?"

"Huh! Don't compare me to you, Ben," Elzi retorted, folding her arms across her chest. She looked sarcastic as she continued, "I study for exams a month before the schedule is posted. Unlike you, who only study the morning of the exam."

Relaxed, Ben answered, flashing his grin. "What matters is that my exam scores are always better than yours. In fact, they're always better than everyone in the school."

Elzi growled, but Ben continued to steer the conversation back to the topic.

"Anyway, that's not the issue now. Oh dear, Zi. You're exactly the same as before," Ben said, shaking his head. "When will you change?"

"Change? You mean become a Power Ranger? Wonder Woman?" Elzi asked sarcastically. "Or Catwoman?"

With an indifferent shrug, Ben replied, "I'd choose Catwoman's costume. I prefer girls who like to bite and scratch. Um... more challenging. More exciting."

Whack!!!

Elzi's hand moved so quickly that Ben did not even see when the menu flew. All he felt was the pain and surprise that made him realize Elzi had just punched him right in the head.

"Can you be serious for a moment?!" she snapped.

Ben retorted with a glare, rubbing the spot on his head where Elzi had hit him. "I've been serious this whole time. It's you who hasn't been answering my questions." He defended himself, "You've been all over the place. I've been asking seriously. It's just that you haven't responded."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Elzi fired back.

"Do you really want to wait a month before making a decision? Wait until you get pregnant?"

Ben's face looked frustrated, so much so that he unconsciously messed up his hair that he had just tidied five seconds ago. Ugh.

"I've been too good as a guy, Zi. Try asking around out there. There's no guy who would take responsibility if their girl gets pregnant before they're married."

"I'm not expecting the kindness of a psychopath like you!"

"Oh... so you've decided to stick with your fiancé?" Ben asked. "Even with the possibility that you might end up pregnant with my child? Um... can you imagine how he would feel if he found out that after you got married, you were pregnant with someone else?"

Ouch!

It felt like a mountain had just crashed down on Elzi. Ben's words left her stunned. And he used that moment to ask again.

"So, what's it going to be? Marry me or..." Ben paused, pretending to think for a moment, "What's your fiancé's name again?"

"Mario," Elzi replied weakly. "Mario Harrison."

Ben nodded once and continued his earlier question, "Or marry Mario?"

Taking a deep breath, Elzi was unsure what to answer. On one hand, she wanted to continue her relationship with her fiancé. On the other hand, she did not want to take any risks. In the end, her dilemma prompted Elzi to reach for her work bag, taking out her phone from inside.

"I'll think about it later. Right now, I need to get back to the office."

"You drive?" he asked.

"Think about it with your knee, Ben. Do you think this café is close to my office? How can I survive the traffic? I'm not stupid enough to be stuck in a car because of traffic. Besides, my mind is preoccupied right now. Are you willing to take responsibility if I suddenly hit someone on the road?"

"Oh, sorry," Ben said. Then, raising his hand to call the waiter, he said, "Let me take you back to the office."

When the waiter arrived, Ben pulled out his card. After they both got up and prepared to leave, Elzi flipped her long bangs to the side of her face and spoke sarcastically.

"Paying for lunch. And then giving me a ride to the office. Um... good. Looks like you're starting to feel those little jabs now. Well... consider it installment for the new dress you vanished into thin air!"

Ignoring her remark, Ben straightened his jacket and walked away, with Elzi following him towards the parking area. Inside the luxurious and sparkling car, Elzi settled herself comfortably. There was no small talk or any accompanying chatter. Even when the car started moving, slowly exiting the café area, and merging into the streets, no words were exchanged between the two individuals. Only the music played as the sole indication that there was still life inside the car.

Glancing outside, enjoying the view of lush trees they passed along the road, Elzi suddenly realized something. She turned to Ben, raising one hand, her index finger pointing to somewhere. Somewhere unknown.

"Do you know where my office is?"

Sighing, Ben answered, "Last night, you rambled on about it more than an ordinary person could imagine."

Elzi blinked.

Was I so drunk that I didn't even realize I rambled on about my workplace to this guy? I even mentioned my office? Um... well, it's not that surprising, I guess. The proof is, I didn't even notice that he had already undressed me completely.

Huh?

Luckily, the traffic was not as heavy as when Elzi left her office earlier. Sooner than expected, they arrived in front of her office. Deliberately, she asked to be dropped off a few meters away from the office gate, hoping that no one would see her with Ben.

Initially, Elzi intended to get out of the car immediately without saying anything to Ben-not even a thank-you for the ride. But Ben's voice stopped her.

"Before you get out, don't you have something to say to me?"

Reflexively, Elzi turned and unfastened her seatbelt. "Something to say? Um..." she hesitated for a moment. "Actually, there isn't anything. But if there's anything I have to tell you, it can only be one thing."

"What is it?"

"I'll do my best not to choose to marry you, Ben," Elzi answered honestly, taking a deep breath. "We tried it before." Her eyes dramatically closed for a moment, and then immediately opened again. "Sorry. I mean, I tried it before..."

Ben felt the heat rise on his cheeks because of her words.

"But it didn't work out," Elzi continued. "You... are the last guy I would consider as my husband."

For that, Ben chose to remain silent.

"I'll do my best to maintain my engagement with Mario."

This time, Ben showed a little reaction. His eagle eyes gave Elzi a thoughtful gaze before he spoke.

"That's your decision. I just wanted to take responsibility for my actions that night. Show a little respect for our past good relationship."

What? Good relationship? Which good relationship is he talking about?

Ben took a deep breath, then smiled in a way that made Elzi furrow her brow, feeling wary.

"And if you don't want to, well... fine. Besides, if I think about it, I won't lose anything if you don't hold me accountable. In fact, it's the opposite, right? Guys never end up being the disadvantaged party. So, if you reject my offer..." Ben nodded as he rubbed his chin with his fingers. "...why should I force it? I should be happy, shouldn't I?"

Unable to believe what she was hearing, Elzi gaped. Her mouth hung open.

"You..."

Elzi did not know what to say, shocked by Ben's words. Her heart was pounding with discomfort.

"I respect our past relationship. And honestly, I feel a little sorry if you end up pregnant alone. But if you don't want to hold me accountable, then fine. I won't marry you. Besides, I won't lose anything. Actually, I'll gain something. Isn't that right?"

Elzi's hand clenched into a tight fist. "You heartless scoundrel! Sneaky fox! Squidward's nose!" she hissed with emotion. "What if that night you weren't drunk? Were you intentionally trying to seduce me?"

"What do you think?" Ben asked with a smirk on his face. Then, he slowly approached Elzi until their eyes met. "Though I have to be honest, that night was quite beautiful, though a bit challenging."

"W-what?"

"But believe me, one day, I will gladly cherish the memory of it."

Elzi was left speechless as Ben's words sank in. Her emotions were in turmoil, torn between anger and confusion. She could not believe his audacity and lack of remorse. In that moment, she realized how little she truly knew about this man. The realization both terrified and intrigued her.

Elzi froze. Her body instantly felt cold.

"So, because you rejected my accountability, now I won't force it anymore. Whether you get pregnant or not, it's up to you. Whether you marry Mario or anyone else, it's up to you. Whether you marry your fiancé while being pregnant with your ex-boyfriend's child, it's also up to you. I've tried to do what a real man should do. But you rejected it," Ben said at length. "Well..., at least. I enjoyed it."

Elzi's face turned indescribable. Truly! She never expected Ben to say such things to her. But who could have predicted?

"You-"

Emotions stirred up due to Ben's words, causing a series of curses to line up at the tip of Elzi's tongue. Intending to scold the guy, Elzi was surprised to find that her lips could not move anymore. One sudden kiss silenced her.

"Euuumph ...."

Not only did the kiss steal Elzi's lips, but there was also a firm hand that pulled her waist, causing Elzi's body to helplessly land on Ben's body. Instantly, both her hands were lifted. Trying to push him away, but not even being able to make Ben's body budge. It was as if Elzi was not pushing a human, but instead, a mountain.

Damn guy!

Wanting to scold that sentence, Elzi certainly could not do it. With the fact that Ben's lips were devouring hers? Oh, not to mention when, in the next second, he was sucking her tongue!

Elzi closed her eyes. As if not wanting to see the reality where Ben enjoyed her lips as he pleased. Sucking them deeply. Giving a moan that sounded sensual. Then, he devoured her tongue with an intoxicating rhythm. Finally, Ben ended the kiss with a small bite on her lower lip. Then he pulled away, finding Elzi's breath instantly irregular.

Gasping with a deeply flushed face, Elzi quickly wiped her wet lips. Indeed, she would not be surprised if her lipstick was a mess.

"You're the most lecherous psychopath in the entire universe!"

After cursing that, Elzi immediately got out and slammed Ben's car door with all her might. Then she ran, entering the office without looking back even once.

Marry a lecherous and heartless guy like that? Absolutely not. God was kind enough to make me break up with him. Why am I now even considering marrying him? I won't!

*