Chapter 1 My Life's So Messed Up

Nancy Jones walked and walked without having any destination in mind. She was fed up with Life.

How could Rodney do this to her? She must have been a fool to believe him.

Her mother had always called her a slow wit. So, maybe that was what she was. If she weren't how could she have fallen for his tricks and lies?

It doesn't matter now, there was nothing she could do. She just had to think of a way forward or take the easy way out.

She was out of job and didn't really have a roof over her head.

The slum where she had got a cheap accommodation was rat infested and the walls got soaked up easily.

She had no bed of her own. She had had to sell a lot of her things just to get enough money to move out of the town.

It reminded her of a lot of things that she would rather forget.

She didn't know what she would do, how to get the next meal but with her education at College, she had tried to get a job as someone's secretary or receptionist or any type of job for that matter that would help her fend for herself rather than depend on anyone because she was tired of being dependant but her efforts had been fruitless.

Now she just didn't know if she could go on with life or not.

With the heavy and big cardigan she had on her blue jean, she looked like someone who didn't have a care in the world but that was because she had grown used to hiding her feelings behind a mask of indifference.

The world had been cruel to her and she knew that exposing her feelings would only make her more vulnerable than she already was and she would not want any one to laugh at her or look at her with pity or scorn.

So she hid her feelings deep inside of her.Rather than beg or receive charity, she was ready to give up and take her own life.

Afterall, everyone seem to have abandoned her.

Her mother never thought that she could amount to anything. Her father who had always supported her and been by her side was not strong willed enough to go against his wife for long for his beloved daughter.

It had been a wonder that they had agreed to send her to college and to prove a point, she had excelled in her studies but what was the use of that in her present condition?

Maybe her mother was right afterall and she was not worthy of anyone and could never do anything right.

Rodney who she had loved and felt she had someone to call her own also turned out not to want her. He had been deceiving her all along and she had been too much of a fool, too much in love to had realised it.

There had been signs of course which she had chosen to ignore.

She had overlooked all the things that had pointed to the fact that Rodney was not the right man for her because she had fancied himself in love with him.

'Love covereth a multitude of sins', was how the bible had put it, had it not. But Nancy did not think that it was in that context.

She had merely been foolish. She had not got her facts right. If there had been a friend or anyone who had advised her about Rodney, she would have had a falling out with them.

How dare they speak against her love that way.

But that love had betrayed her in the worst possible way and she had been left alone to bear the brunt of her stupidity.

She had allowed herself to be blinded by her love with someone who was never worthy of it. Now she was regretting every second of the time she had once cherished and thought of as the most priceless moments of her life.

The tears flowed and she wiped them off vigorously. She was not going to cry for that villain. He was not worth her tears. But she knew that even though she was hurt beyond imagination, she still loved Rodney but it just could not be. He was a beast. He was the lowest of human life. He was even lower than an animal and she could not still love him.

He had seen her naivety and had taken advantage of it.

Thinking about Rodney was not going to help at all. It was causing her to be emotional and dwell in self pity but she just could not help herself. He was responsible for her present predicament and as much as she wanted to forget about everything, she just could not because the evidence of their alliance was always with her.

She had thought of getting rid of it but she had not been able to do it.

Maybe she was indeed a fool because what she was passing through was much worse due to her condition that it would have been but she had been determined to succeed but now, she was too fed up to care what happened to them anymore.

She was so lost in thought and lost the will to live that she did not know when she started walking on the road listless.

She had lost everything, and could not make any meaning out of her life anymore. What use was there to keep loving?

She was oblivious to the blare of the headlights of cars passing her and the honking of their horns.

Cats kept driving pass her barely hitting her until a particular car coming out from a be d nearly ran her down.

The screeching of the tires was deafening but he had not been fast enough to stop the car as it hit Nancy and she fell on the bonnet of the car unconscious.

The driver immediately got out of the car and rushed to her.

She was not conscious. And a crowd had gathered.

'Make way, make way!' he kept saying to get the crowd out of his way.

A path was formed for him to pass through as he was able to get to her through the path and seeing her unconscious, quickly carried her into his car and drove to the hospital.