Chapter 5 Hard decision

Michael

All this was too much for me to take in a day I have been having a roller coaster ride with all the feelings and the decisions that are being levied on me now are just way too much to be taking in. How can this be decided so early I have not yet got out of the fact that Olivia who was to marry me has left, without even my notice. She did not even spoke to me about all this. Why would she such a terrible thing to me. I never forced her for marriage I thought she too wanted this. And as for me, I wanted a life partner like her who would be least bothered about what I do and how I do.

But what Is bothering me the most is why I'm I not feeling devastated I should be feeling sadder than what I feel. I should be leaving this place by now but why I'm I not able to why is this place not giving me the true emotions I should have. I was trying too hard to think what went wrong and the only thing I'm pulled back to is the thoughts of where I had seen this girl Sarah before. I could only thing of that and nothing else.

The worst part is my mother's decision that is making me push harder to her more how can I get married to someone who I have just met or who I really don't know about or who I want to know but do not have the courage to accept. I was so frustrated about all this that I yelled, "What the hell do you people think you are doing?"

How can they just conclude like this? How can they just put me in a situation like this I'm already frustrated about hell lot of things. Since Olivia is no longer here, they just want to get me married to a random person.

"I'm not marrying anyone not her at least, I mean I don't even know her, plus what's with getting married right now, I'll just call it off" I stated.

"No, you can't do that, we have everyone waiting out there to know what's going on in here, I'm not leaving this place until this marriage is done" Mom was sure about what she must do. That scared me the most because she gets what she wants, more like she will make sure that all the circumstances turn in the direction of her decision. As much as I admire this ability of her's, I always feel trapped in the decision made by her.

"You can't force him into this" my father interrupted her, at least he knows what I feel right now. But will he be able to convince mom out of this.

"You want people to have a wrong perception about him" mom was yelling now.

I do not understand what perception is she talking about I would anyway not bother what people would say and most importantly she is not some one who would bother about any nonsense and here she is talking this, all I could sense is she just wants me to do this. Her only intention is to just get me married off to Sarah.

Wait did mom notice me noticing Sarah, at least I know her name now finding out where we met before would be easier. Is mom observing me do that, because she is a great observer and she know what that I'm thinking of, are my thoughts so predictable that she is concluded things this way? If she has predicted, she would thing I'm a jerk.

"I don't think it's a good idea" Taylor jumped in to rescue me. Finally, Olivia's father spoke after a great silence. I can't even start to imagine what he must be going through right now. To lighten up his tension I just gave him a smile to both thank and console him.

"No, it is a good idea, we were anyway planning to marry off Sarah as soon as possible, so that I could die peacefully." Amber said.

Amber immediately cut off and stated. Die peacefully really is that what she has to tell after all this. How can she die peacefully with the fact that her daughter is done something this terrible? Why, did Olivia take such a major step she could have spoken to me we would have worked out and sorted things.

She walked towards Sarah and held her face in her hand and said, "wouldn't you do this for us, for what all we have favored you"

Did she just say that... how can she ask for repaying for what favor she has done on her? How can they be so mean to her? This is so disgusting. While I thought of all this, I saw how Amber had cupped her face in her hands. She trying to say something and at the same time she was in the deepest of thoughts she did not know how to react on all this she was just blinking and looking at her Amber. Who had asked to marry a unknown man in return of all the favors she did for her.

She looked like she wanted to get out of this place. Amber had cupped her face and the grip was more than a normal one her skin was pale from where I could see. She might have the softest skin......and I wanted to tou....

What the hell is wrong with me... I'm I not upset for Olivia leaving. My wedding is over and ended and here I'm urging for other women so soon. I'm I happy or I just don't care..

Or I never love.......

Wait what the hell was happening. All this was just not making any sense to me, I wanted to get out of this place immediately. "Stop this nonsense, I won't marry anyone and that's it" I said and went out of the room, I walked as fast I could, I banged the door open and was heading to some direction all I wanted was to be alone and all I wanted was to know that what was wrong with me and why I'm I not feeling the way should be feeling, and why I'm I thinking so much about Sa...... Damn all this thoughts !!!!!