Chapter 5 Reflections and Regret

Jane let him kiss her. She moved her lips in sync with his, barring out the voices telling her this was wrong and listening to the one telling her that it was James she loved, and besides that, her supposed husband had no respect for her as he still kept his mistress even after he was married.

But then again, she wasn't Alex. As much as she enjoyed kissing James and loved the feel of his arms around her, she knew of the sacredness of matrimony and respected it, as well as the vows she made with Alex.

Even if Alex didn't stand by them, she would.

As the kiss began to deepen, she pulled away, and James frowned.

"What's wrong, baby?"

He asked softly.

"This." She replied. "This is wrong, James."

"But Jane..." He started taking a step towards her, and she instinctively took a step backward.

No, James," she said calmly. "Everything about this is bad. I'm a married woman, for heaven's sake."

"But you don't love him, Ann. I know you don't."

"But the fact still remains that I am married, James."

James turned away from her, scratching his head in frustration.

She reached out and touched his shoulder.

"James..."

"Have you fallen in love with him, Jane?" He asked angrily.

"No! No, I haven't. You know I...I still love you, but there are some certain things we can't be doing while am still married to him. We can always be together again after the divorce."

Jane reasoned.

"But three years..."

"Just be patient, James." She whispered. "Please."

He sighed heavily, then turned to face her.

"It's okay, I understand." He said. "I'm sorry I kissed you. You know I find it hard to control myself sometimes when am alone with you. I'm sorry."

She gave a small smile. "It's okay. And thank you for understanding."

He smiled back and nodded. "How about we watch a movie together, before you go?"

She grinned. "Sounds good."

************

It was a couple of minutes before ten when she got home. She opened the door with her key and went upstairs. The master bedroom was dark but she didn't bother putting on the light because the moon faintly illuminated the room through the windows.

She stripped off her clothes and shoes and was reaching for a towel when the light suddenly came on and she shrieked, snatching the towel to cover the frontal parts of her body before she looked to see who had flicked on the light.

Her eyes widened when she saw Alex. She didn't even know he was around.

"What the heck do you think you're doing? And how long have you been here?"

His eyes briefly ran down her barely clad body before meeting her eyes.

Was it her? Or did his eyes just darken with an emotion that's not anger? Like desire?

He cleared his throat. "Been here since seven pm, waiting for my lovely wife to come back from wherever she went to."

"And I don't remember asking my wonderful husband to wait up for me."

She said in the same tone. "I wasn't even expecting you'd be here."

"So that's why you went to have a little fun right?" He asked. "Because you thought I won't be coming home tonight?"

She arched a perfect brow. "Excuse me. I can go out whenever I like."

His expression hardened a little.

"Where did you go to?"

"Out." She simply replied.

"And out doesn't have a name?" He asked coolly.

"I don't see how that's any business of yours, Mr Alex Jordan."

She snapped.

"But it is, so long as you are Mrs Jane Alex Jordan."

He said smoothly and the way he drew her name from his lips did shocking things to her insides.

She rolled her eyes. "Do I have to remind you that it's only on a piece of white paper?"

"I'm not playing games Jane." He grounded. "Where. are. you. coming. from?"

"Get out and let me be, Alex." She snapped. "Go to your whore! Don't tell me you are tired of her already."

"I owe you no explanation."

He drawled.

"As I you." She grounded, suddenly angry

"You knew what you were going into when you agreed to this marriage."

She smiled sexily. "Same here, Alex. So why don't we just calm down and act like the married but single couple that we are, which means, bearing the same last name but living our lives the way we want."

"Not on your life, Jane." He bit out angrily. "You are not going to misbehave in the three years you'll be married to me."

"Really?" She asked sarcastically. "But what should I do when I have...urges that need attention and satisfaction."

She purred sexily and he visibly swallowed.

"Well, anytime you have such...needs, you come to me."

He said huskily.

She giggled, unaware of the towel slipping away a little and giving a glimpse of one curvy naked hip which made him suck in a harsh breath.

"So, whenever I want sex, I should come to you, right? And when you have the urges, you would go to your girlfriend?"

"Jane." He growled. "You are not allowed to sleep with any man that is not me, especially your so called ex fiance."

"But you can sleep with other women?" She snapped, getting angrier. "I should remain the faithful, loyal wife but you can bed whoever you like, even right under my nose?"

"Jane..."

"Shut up, you bastard! I hate you!" Memories of what she saw in his office earlier on flooded her head and angered her the more. "I regret the day I agreed to marry you, you unfaithful, disrespectful cheating bastard! Get out!"

"Jane..."

"Just get your ass out, Alex! Now!"

She wailed, clutching her towel around her, tightly as the first stream of tears flowed down her cheeks.

He wanted to say something again but his expression softened completely when he saw her tears.

"Hey," he inched slowly towards her. "Janey..."

He called softly in a way that made her heart beat fast. No one had ever called her that. It was either Jane or Jane, but never...Janey.

Alex came closer and wrapped his hands around her, muttering sweet and soothing words.

She laid her head against his chest, listening to his beating heart as she sobbed harder, causing him to pull her closer.

She didn't know exactly why she was crying, but she felt the overwhelming need to. She needed to wash away the anger off her and it seemed crying was doing the trick.

And it was wonderful, Alex scent, the feel of his arms around her. It was so soothing, so relaxing, so protective, filled with comfort.

She leaned closer to her husband and his arms tightened around her. Their position right now felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Both didn't want to let go of the other. It was even surprising to her that Alex had softened towards her when he saw her crying. He might not be that bad of a guy after all.

He raised her chin, locking her tearful eyes with his.

"Stop crying okay?" He said with a gentleness she didn't know he was capable of.

She nodded, amidst tears flowing slightly this time.

He gazed at her plump lips as they parted to inhale and exhale air and he found himself leaning close to finally get a taste of those lips that had been tormenting him for a long time.

She didn't back away. Instead, she held her breath in anticipation, waiting for his full lips to descend on hers and show her what it felt like to have them on hers.

At the back of her mind, she was feeling guilty over James that she was welcoming her husband's kiss when she still loved James. But she quickly pushed the thought away. Alex was her husband and James, well he wouldn't know.

But just as she felt his warm lips on hers, a phone rang.

They instinctively parted immediately and felt like children that almost did something bad and needed scolding.

"I uh...I..." Alex stuttered with a frown.

"It's y - your phone. Uhm, it's...I mean..."

She found herself stuttering as well and mentally slapped herself.

"Yes...I..." He cleared his throat. "I have to take this."

He quickly turned on his heels and left the room but she didn't miss the faint sound of his voice when he said "Hello Michelle..."

**********

"Jane!" Kath, Annabelle's younger sister squealed.

She was a plumpy and bubbly teenager, vivacious and full of life. She was twenty but looked and acted so much younger.

"Kath! Oh I've missed you so much!"

Jane caught her sister as she jumped on her.

"Me too Jane. I had to beg mum to allow me come see you."

"Aww, someone's been missing me." Jane cooed.

Kath grinned. "Very much. It's been three weeks since your wedding and since I last saw you. Mum said to give you and your husband some time alone to enjoy your honeymoon."

Jane smiled. "Don't mind her, my husband and I wouldn't have even minded if you had come to stay with us after the wedding. But I'm glad you're here now."

"Me too." Kath replied with a grin and looked around. "But where is your husband? Isn't he around?"

"No, he went to work." Jane replied.

"Uncle Alex works on a Saturday?"

Kath asked, and Jane's smile fell.

Since that night, that they had almost kissed, she had noticed that Alex had been avoiding her. He rarely spent time at home, worked even at weekends now, he didn't drive her to work anymore - the driver did. He avoided any long conversation with her, even at the office and hardly even ate breakfast at home anymore.

Even on the night that the kiss had almost happened, he had left the house after he finished talking to Michelle and had returned the next morning. She didn't need to ask him where he went to because she already knew. And it was the same him that was ordering her to stay way from other men.

James had been calling her at times, but they've never seen since the dinner and she was starting to wonder whether she was making a mistake not having an affair with him. After all, when the three years of her marriage to Alex are over, James will still be waiting for her.

"He...he had an urgent call this afternoon then rushed to the office." She lied. "But he'll be back soon."

Kath shrugged. "Okay."

"Come on, let's go over to the kitchen, I'm making your favourite."

Jane said brightly.

"Yes!"

The two finished making lunch and was eating when Alex arrived.

Jane blinked. Even though she had told her sister that he would be back soon, she wasn't expecting him this soon.

Alex seemed surprised to see Kath as he stood by the door of the kitchen. Then he moved his eyes to Annabelle and she held her breath. He always did that to her whenever he stared at her like that.

He came into the kitchen and Kath turned to see who it was. Her face lit up.

"Uncle Alex!"

She squealed and ran over to embrace him.

"Hello baby girl." He said with a genuine smile.

Jane gave a small smile.

He had always loved Kath very much as a younger sister. Even before the wedding, it had always seemed as if he cherished Kath than her. In fact, since they were young, ALex had always been fond of Kath.

Though he treated her, Jane, politely back then when she was still a kid. Whenever they saw, they related quite well and they got to see each other quite often because of their family's relationship.

But when Alex came back home after spending his university years and expanding his father's business abroad, he changed towards her. He no longer gave her that big brother smile and tease he used to give to her, he was always aloof but polite towards her and when their wedding was announced, he practically hated her.

But he had always shown that affection to Kath and sometimes, she must admit, it got her jealous.

"How was work uncle Alex?" Kath asked brightly as she dragged Alex over to the dining in the kitchen.

"It was fine, my little angel..."

"Uncle Alex!" Kath pouted. "I'm a big girl now so quit with the little thingy."

Alex chuckled. "But you know you'll always be my pretty little sister."

"Ugh!" Kath face palmed. "How sweet of you to always rub it in my face."

She shrugged and her face lit up again. "Anyways my dear big sis, Jane prepared the most wonderful food in the whole wide world. Would you want some?"

And his eyes landed on Jane again. "Uhm..."

"Oh what am I saying? Of course you need to eat!" Kath interrupted and turned to Jane. "Will you serve uncle Alex, sis. Or may I?"

She asked innocently.

Jane smiled at her. It was hard not to love this adorable creature that was her sister.

"Of course you may."

As Kath got up and went over to the other side of the kitchen to get the food, Jane turned her full attention on her own food, ignoring Alex's burning gaze on her.

"You didn't tell me Kath was coming." He said in a low voice.

"You don't expect me to do that when I'm not sure whether I live in this house alone or not."

She answered sweetly and got up, picking up her almost empty plate and took it to the dishwasher.

She told her sister that she was going upstairs and left the kitchen, ignoring Alex as she passed by him.

She was just so annoyed. What had she ever done to him? Why was he always giving her the cold shoulder? She just didn't get it.

She slammed the door and got into bed. Well, she was done with trying to make the damned marriage work. Two could play at this game, she thought with an evil smile.

Dialing Mirabelle's number, they planned a night out at the club.

After Kath left later in the evening, she still ignored Alex and went upstairs.

One hour later, she was dressed to kill.

She wore a very skimpy and low necked red dress that accentuated her curves in the right places.

Her long newly made blonde hair was brushed down her back in soft waves. Her face was smooth and sleek and she applied liner and a bold red lipstick.

She had never dressed that way in her entire life but the quest for revenge on Alex was making her to.

She wore red platform heels and picked up a red purse and was ready to leave.

When she opened the door, Alex was standing before her.

His eyes narrowed as he took in her appearance from head to foot. A hint of desire crossed his face but then was quickly replaced with a scowl.

"And where are you going, dressed like this?"

He asked in an angry but calm manner.

"Out," she replied. "With Mirabelle. We are going to the club."

His face hardened with a dark frown.

"And what are you going to a club to do?"

Jane smiled sweetly. "What do you go to a club to do? Make cookies?"

"You are not stepping out of this house, tonight."

He growled.

"Try and stop me." She said stubbornly.

"You know damn well that I would."

He voiced huskily as he took a step towards her and she gasped.