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Affair with the Rockstar
img img Affair with the Rockstar img Chapter 2 Derek Kane was
2 Chapters
Chapter 6 The answer sent thrills img
Chapter 7 Derek was still watching img
Chapter 8 PRESENT DAY img
Chapter 9 Four Years Ago img
Chapter 10 I was folding laundry img
Chapter 11 I threw him img
Chapter 12 As advertised, though img
Chapter 13 I was about two hundred feet img
Chapter 14 I thought about it img
Chapter 15 I was expecting our img
Chapter 16 They ended up img
Chapter 17 The kitchen was lovely img
Chapter 18 We'd been trailing img
Chapter 19 Shanna, Derek img
Chapter 20 Kevin. I whirled img
Chapter 21 The next day passed img
Chapter 22 Not until Monday img
Chapter 23 There was one extraordinary img
Chapter 24 My eyes snapped open img
Chapter 25 Present Day img
Chapter 26 Four Years Ago img
Chapter 27 Present Day img
Chapter 28 Four Years Ago img
Chapter 29 I stood up graceles img
Chapter 30 He didn't need to be told img
Chapter 31 I grabbed a couple img
Chapter 32 After I signed my img
Chapter 33 Kevin knew something was different img
Chapter 34 I was remembering all these things img
Chapter 35 Derek Kane img
Chapter 36 We walked out of the bar img
Chapter 37 We walked from the elevator img
Chapter 38 Ryan turned back to the img
Chapter 39 So, the summer after you img
Chapter 40 The staples center was img
Chapter 41 As the opening act set up img
Chapter 42 The first thing I heard img
Chapter 43 Thirty minutes and two encores img
Chapter 44 I stood on the outside img
Chapter 45 I composed myself img
Chapter 46 The backstage party img
Chapter 47 The backstage party had been crazy img
Chapter 48 Ten hours after I'd img
Chapter 49 It was a long ass night img
Chapter 50 I was nervous img
Chapter 51 He was dressed in jeans img
Chapter 52 Despite my wounded img
Chapter 53 I had a couple of hours img
Chapter 54 There was maybe img
Chapter 55 The concert was over img
Chapter 56 We burst out the back img
Chapter 57 We s img
Chapter 58 His lips grazed img
Chapter 59 Short of an orgasm img
Chapter 60 First he flipped me img
Chapter 61 After a long hot shower img
Chapter 62 It happened pretty quickly img
Chapter 63 Things weren't morose img
Chapter 64 Once I got close img
Chapter 65 Our encounter shower img
Chapter 66 He strolled over to us img
Chapter 67 When Derek and I img
Chapter 68 On the way img
Chapter 69 As soon as we were img
Chapter 70 Ryan and I got img
Chapter 71 We finally reached img
Chapter 72 We made love img
Chapter 73 When I awoke the next morning img
Chapter 74 The first thing I did img
Chapter 75 Twenty four hours later img
Chapter 76 You know those scenes img
Chapter 77 I woke up the next img
Chapter 78 I was pretty pissed img
Chapter 79 Killian's little parable img
Chapter 80 I woke up the next morning in his bed img
Chapter 81 Jesus it was good img
Chapter 82 In the midst of all img
Chapter 83 I love him for that img
Chapter 84 It wasn't like she img
Chapter 85 After the show at img
Chapter 86 Actually things got a lot img
Chapter 87 The night img
Chapter 88 We wr img
Chapter 89 So, amidst all the hot img
Chapter 90 It all came img
Chapter 91 The last concert img
Chapter 92 I was watching the light img
Chapter 93 After an hour mopping img
Chapter 94 I got out my cell phone img
Chapter 95 It's the eternal question img
Chapter 96 I turned back img
Chapter 97 After a nearly sleepless img
Chapter 98 After a few minutes img
Chapter 99 By 10am, I found img
Chapter 100 I didn't find out img
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Chapter 2 Derek Kane was

Derek Kane was currently the hottest thing going in rock. And not just because his band had three singles currently in the top 20, with 'If There's A Next Time' poised to hit number one in the next week or two.

No. He was also the most gorgeous guy to front a rock band since Jim Morrison.

Six feet tall... black hair... chiseled face... cheekbones to die for.

Most rockers outside of Death Metal are scrawny little dudes with pasty bird chests and no muscles. Not Derek. He looked more like an underwear model, with a muscled chest, incredibly strong arms, and abs you could scrub laundry on. Broad shoulders, muscular legs, and an ass that made you want to tear off his pants. Some women at his concerts occasionally did.

He also had the most intense, gorgeous green eyes you've ever seen. Like emerald ocean water warmed by the sun.

Of course, not many people knew that, because he never let himself be photographed without sunglasses on. Never performed without them. Every candid shot in every gossip rag always had him with his trademark Maui Jims wrapped around his face, his beautiful eyes hidden from the world.

I only knew what they looked like because I had met him four years ago. Back before he was a Rock God.

I had known him for exactly two weeks.

The last time I saw him, we'd spent the night together. I'd told him I loved him... and then I got in my car and drove away, tears streaming down my face.

I never saw or heard from him again.

But it's not what you think.

However, walking away from him that day was probably the single worst mistake of my life.

Now I was afraid I was going to make an even bigger one.

I stared at the editor. My smile was still in place, but it was more like a waxworks expression, it was so fake.

"Um... what is it that you want, exactly? Because I'm not doing some kiss-and-tell piece."

Glen waved his hands as though to ward off bad mojo. "Oh, no no no no no. Nothing like that."

"...what, then?"

"Well, as you know, Kane is notoriously averse to the press."

Actually, I did know that. Just because I hadn't talked to him since our final day together didn't mean I hadn't been keeping tabs on him.

'Notoriously averse to the press' was kind of like saying 'The Pope isn't tremendously fond of gay marriage.'

Derek hated the press. Hated them. With a vengeance bordering on lunacy. He'd go on shows to perform, no problem – Letterman, Conan, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel. He'd go on Ellen and banter with her.

But what he would not do was talk to the press. Not Rolling Stone, not Spin, not The New York Times, not the Anytown USA Herald. He hadn't for years.

Which had the curious effect of making them slobber over him all the more. Like semi-popular girls spurned by the Prom Queen, they gossiped and backstabbed and gushed over him – sometimes in the same article – hoping that they, maybe, just maybe, might get to be BFFs with him in his first print interview in two years.

It really was like high school, in the most shallow and disgusting of ways.

Omigawd, did you see what he's WEARING?! He's SO over. Totes. Omigawd, did you hear, he just had another hit! It's the worst song E-VER. Do you think he'd come to my party?

"...and what does that have to do with me?" I asked. I wasn't trying to be bitchy, but I have to admit, my stress over the situation was beginning to leak out around the edges.

"We think he'll talk to you."

There it was. My stomach knotted up seventeen times over.

"I don't think he will," I said with a forced smile.

"Actually, we know he will."

My forced smile faded. "How do you know that?"

"We've been trying to get him to talk to us for the last six months. Actually, we've been trying for longer than that, but it didn't become a priority until they started charting in a big way. We must have tried thirty times. At first we just did general inquiries through their manager – 'could we talk to you while you're playing Madison Square?' 'Let me check with Derek.' And then he'd email back, 'No.' We started throwing out names – our best guys. People who have interviewed everybody – Madonna, Springsteen, Obama, for God's sake. 'No.' We lined up authors who agreed to do a one-off for us – Bret Easton Ellis, David Mamet, people it would be a fucking honor for Kane to even be in the same room with. 'No.' Same damn thing every time – 'No, no, no, no, no.' And then I meet Shanna at a party, and in passing I mention I can't get Derek Kane to give us a fucking interview... and she tells me about you.

"On a complete whim – in fact, and I'm not proud to admit this, but I was pissed off and a little bit drunk when I sent the email – I gave the manager your name."

He let the silence build up the suspense.

I was about to puke – not because I didn't know what was coming, but because I did.

"'Yes.' No preconditions, no rules, no bullshit... just one word: yes." Glen threw his hands up in the air. "So you're it, kid. This is the Call. You're moving up to the big leagues. Congratulations."

My hands shook as I clenched them in my lap. "Thank you, but... no."

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