Chapter 3 Cruel Truths

She thought so hard that she eventually fell asleep again. The bed was soft and cozy, and the air was fresh. Both were inviting for a sleep. She awoke startled, knowing that there was someone else in that room. She sat up in bed and looked over to see Andrey leaning against the doorframe in beige pants and a sports shirt staring at her seriously with both hands stuffed in his pockets and his face slightly tilted to the side.

"I... I ended up not being able to thank you for everything that..."

"No." He said interrupting her. "I didn't do any of that for free, or out of pity."

"No?" Andressa asked like an idiot.

"How old are you?"

"I'll be sixteen in three months." She replied still wondering what he was getting at. Surely he would tell her of his price for helping her and her mother.

He ran his eyes over her barely covered body and it embarrassed her. She felt like a piece of meat in the butcher shop. Finally he looked her in the eye.

"What do you know about what happened to your brother and what was arranged with your mother?

"Actually, I don't know anything."

He shook his head affirmatively.

"Andressa, your brother acquired a very large debt to me two years ago. And he promised me to repay that debt within exactly three years by giving me something as collateral.

"What did he give you? How much debt was it?"

"The debt was seven thousand dollars."

Andressa put her hand to her head. Where was she going to get more than thirty thousand dollars to pay off the big boss?

"Yes." He said when he saw her put her hand to her head. "The debt has grown."

"How will I be able to pay that debt?" She asked with a choked voice.

"First I will tell you about your brother. He made this deal with me, but he knew I wouldn't lend him any more money, much less compact to satiate his vices. So he started crossing the railroad tracks to buy with that faction. And for a while it worked. He played well and always earned enough to pay off his debts. He was able to buy expensive clothes, and I always had my eye on him. I always thought that he was the most bastardized man I had ever met. He could have paid off his debt to me and redeemed the collateral. He could have given you and your mother a chance to work for your own growth, but he left you in the dark and continued to exploit you. As it turns out, luck always changes with the wind. And he stopped winning at gambling, and turned to them for money for drugs and clothes. They helped, but in the last few months they got tired of him and started the threats to make him pay what was owed. With nowhere to draw from, he told his mother everything."

Andressa, whose stomach was already upset with the whole story and who listened to him with her head down and embarrassed, raised her head to face him, perplexed. Even her mother was wrapped up in all that filth?

"Yes. Your mother knew the whole truth all along. And she came to me, begging me to pay that debt with the same guarantee he had given me years ago. But what he promised me was already mine. So I refused. I actually thought it was a very expensive investment, seven thousand dollars, and I told her mother that. Little did I know that she had not come empty-handed. She showed me the "guarantee" and I finally agreed to pay the debt to the other faction. But her idiot brother could not wait and immediately ran to the other side to say that I would pay the debt and they were furious because they would not accept that I pay the debt. This is a matter of honor between us. I also would not accept that their leader came to pay me a debt that was not his. This is humiliating. I would send the money through his brother, directing him to say that he got it from a loan shark, but he didn't give me time. He managed to reach our side, after running between showers of bullets. When he crossed the line, my faction, which was already aware of the gunfire coming from the other side, and sensed that they were approaching the line, stood by. When his brother made it across, he should have kept running, but stopped and sent a finger signal to the other faction. He was fired upon. While they were aiming at your brother, my faction managed to hit some of them, but that wouldn't bring your stupid brother back. And I ended up with a much bigger expense than originally agreed upon.

"What did my brother and mother give you as collateral?"

"You really don't know yet?" He asked arching his eyebrow.

Andressa was too disgusted with her brother and mother, but she needed to hear it from him.

"I can't imagine."

He then for the first time since he walked in, gave a reassuring smile.

"You, Andressa." He said and moving closer pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and tossed it to her on the bed.

Andressa took the folded paper and saw that it was a picture of her taken a few days ago. She was standing against the wall outside the house overlooking the small backyard. She was wearing a bikini, as she was trying to get some color. And she was smiling cheerfully. Even her gray eyes were evident in the photo. She looked more beautiful than she really felt when she looked in the mirror. So that was what her mother went out of her way to take that picture. She remembered that she took several and took her time to be satisfied. Andressa turned to face Andrey and looked at him seriously. He seemed to be waiting for her reaction.

"And what do you intend to do with me?"

"Use your imagination, Andressa. I've been using it a lot since I saw that picture."

Andressa turned red.

"I am a minor..." Andressa said starting to think fast to get out of that situation.

Andrey laughed.

"At sixteen, living here, you must have more experience than myself." He said mockingly.

Andressa closed her hand into a fist. Her urge was to hit his perfect nose. But she restrained herself. Maybe she could negotiate with Andrey. From everything he said, he was open to negotiation.

"I can pay off the debt by working here for you.... You must understand that my life doesn't belong to either of you to be sold to me. It is an injustice that I pay for things that I never used, never enjoyed anything from them."

"That's true..." He said looking up at the ceiling, but then turned his eyes back to her. "But I won't be at a loss. Not wishing and dreaming of doing things with you that no other woman had ever inspired me to do. You're going to work hard Andressa. But it will be by serving me in the way and at the time I desire, in that room. However, not to be unfair of all, I will pay for your studies. That way, when I get tired of you, you will have a profession to survive on. Your mother told me that you are ahead in school and that you have already finished high school. So, think very carefully about a profession that suits you. A chance like this you won't get twice in your life. Research it." He said pointing to the computer.

"You are going to use me and then discard me and believe that a diploma can repair the damage you are going to do to me?"

"Don't be dramatic. You're going to live in comfort. You won't lack anything. Many women would give one of their arms to be in your place."

"For I would gladly trade." Andressa said defiantly and he only smiled briefly.

"You can walk around the house now. You just can't leave the property." He said and walked away leaving the door open.

Andressa went to the bathroom and washed her face. Then she left the room and went to explore the house. She wished she could find his room. So she went door by door, but none seemed to have occupants. She found her mother's, recognizing it by the bags on the bed. His irritation increased. So his mother would also live on the good and the good at his expense? She opened all the doors again and began to open the wardrobes. The rooms all followed the same decoration as her own. She counted eleven rooms, all with bathrooms only upstairs. And she found out that he didn't occupy any of them. Decided, she went downstairs and started to open the downstairs doors. There was a large living room with comfortable sofas and a large television on the wall. The carpet was so soft that her feet sank into it as soon as she took each step. She left the room a little forced, because she wanted to stay there watching TV, eating popcorn and snuggling on the sofa. She found the office, also large and tasteful, and left. She was looking for the opposite side of the kitchen, where she had already noticed that there were some smaller bedrooms, which must have been for the employees, the kitchen, a pantry and the dining room. She was avoiding that side, as she knew she would find movement there. The last door was at the end of the corridor. Andressa was already beginning to believe that he didn't sleep there. Discouraged, she opened the last door.

Her surprise was so great that she was paralyzed by the sight. A huge bed, with blue silk sheets, hid a little of the body of a woman who continued her peaceful sleep, with those things that madams like to put over their eyes so that they are not disturbed by the light of day. Finally Andressa went in and opened the biggest closet she had ever seen and saw his clothes. Most of them were imported. She stared at them for a while and wondered what he would do to her if she put all those clothes together and made a fire. The image of her kneeling down and getting shot in the head flashed through her mind. It wasn't a bad option. She realized that the room was abnormally too big. It had Andrey's things everywhere. It was well furnished too. There was even a television in the room. She moved closer to the bed and stood there watching the sleeping woman. She had one of her shapely legs sticking out of the sheet. Her hair was blonde and she must have been very pretty too. She wondered what Andrey wanted her for if he had a woman like that? Her clothes were scattered all over the floor, along with Andrey's. He decided to leave quietly, and he did not make a sound. She decided to leave quietly and went into the kitchen where the smell of lunch reeked. She approached the woman who always brought the tray to her in her room.

"What's your name?" Andressa asked without bothering to be polite or discreet.

"I'm Carla. I remember you when you were still a baby in your father's arms. He was very proud of you. You were his only daughter and you came out with all his characteristics." She said casually, but very politely, as she peeled tomatoes attentively.

"Did you know my father?"

"No dear. I know your father."

Andressa stared at her totally confused.

"You must be confusing me, Carla. My father died many years ago. He... I don't even remember him right... And as far as I know I don't look like him..."

Carla stared at her with real compassion and then looked away and at the two who were staying with her in the kitchen. And she picked up some potatoes from a basket on the table and looked at Andressa, suggestively.

"Come help me peel these potatoes. It's not good for you to sit around all day doing nothing. At least until you start your studies. There's a table over there on the balcony where it's cooler, and you can tell me what course you plan to take." She said and took two knives and the potatoes and went out the kitchen door.

Andressa saw that they went out onto a very well organized veranda with a brick barbecue grill and tables around it. They sat down at the largest one and Carla put the potatoes on the table while Andressa remembered that she had walked by there before but hadn't paid attention.

"Wake up girl!" Carla said when she saw that Andressa seemed to be in another world.

Andressa took a knife and a potato and began to work silently with her head down, thoughtful.

"Look, what I have to tell you is something very serious that could change important things in your life. So if you don't think you should know, I'll keep it to myself. I'll keep it to myself, but not everyone will have that compassion and you'll find out even if you don't want to, even though Andrey has forbidden anyone to talk about it with you."

Andressa stared at her for a moment and then went back to peeling her potato.

"If he forbade it, why are you risking your life by telling me? I'm not worth your life. Leave it as it is... Perhaps I will end my fate in a way that none of you have even thought of..."

"I risk it, because I know your father, and I know he would want you to know, I trust you would not turn me over to Andrey, but in any case, it would be a risk I would take, not only for you, but for your father."

"Then tell me. I won't promise that I won't use the information, but I promise that never Andrey, or anyone else, will ever know that I heard from you."

"I am grateful. Then I will tell from the beginning. There are things I cannot reveal yet, but you will already have something to digest with the things I am going to tell you now.... You must have noticed that your food that was being served in the room, was neither very digestive nor satisfactory to placate hunger..."

"Yes. I was curious. Why did you do that? Do you want me to lose weight?"

"No, you have an ideal weight and an enviable body. But your mother doesn't think the same, or she does and is jealous of you, and blackmailed us into only serving what she wanted or she would tell Andrey that we were trying to make you fat so he would lose interest in you."

"My mother has that much influence over him? That might be good for me after all."

"She doesn't know yet that Andrey told us not to leave her locked up anymore and that she should explore the house, she just can't leave the mansion alone. Turn around and go in the back and see how worried your mother is about your isolation in your room. She hasn't been to visit you once, right?

"No. I thought she was kept locked up too and was released today just like me."

"No. She was free all the time, even it was her idea to leave you locked up, but I convinced Andrey that this was changing your countenance and that soon you might develop depression and he agreed that it was not salable for you to be forced into confinement after the death of your brother. Go behind the mansion. But don't let her see you yet. Surprise her at lunchtime."

Without saying anything else, Andressa got up and went to the back side of the mansion. She stayed hidden and saw the scene that amazed her in a very impressive way. She expected to see everything but that. A maid was handing a towel to her mother who was getting out of the pool, and then handing her a drink as soon as she sat on the lounger. She said something to the maid and the maid left. Andressa didn't need to see anything more than that, but she stayed for a while leaning against the wall, her thoughts more agitated than ever. Her son had died a few days ago and she was enjoying a swimming pool as if nothing bad had happened? Without thinking about her daughter trapped and condemned to be a sex slave forever, trapped in a room? Andressa didn't know what to think other than that her mother deep down always thought only of herself. That everything that had happened to her until then was a ladder she had prepared for her, to live a comfortable life without having to work and strive for it. She began to imagine that it must have been her idea to offer her daughter as payment for Thiago's first debt. And everything that was going through her mind was making her furious. And she decided to go back to Carla. She wanted to know more about her past. Then she would confront her mother. Maybe at lunch, as Carla advised her.

When she returned to the table, Carla had prepared an orange juice for them, placed a basket in which to put the peels. Andressa poured herself some juice and stared at Carla, who seemed to be silently waiting for Andressa's explosion of fury. At that moment she knew that Carla was testing her, to see if she was capable of controlling her feelings.

"What is my mother drinking? Do you know?"

"She asked Josefa to make a drink, with some ingredients. She taught her how to make this drink last night, to be served to her today at the pool. She also required us to keep an eye on her needs while she was mourning in the pool. I have tried the drink, it really is very good, but I wonder where she got this recipe. The ingredients are expensive..." Carla said and looked at Andressa in a way that delivered that she did know, as her mother knew about that recipe, but went back to hulling potatoes without saying anything else.

"She has a very... Distinctive way of living a grief." Andressa said quietly, knowing that Carla was watching her attitudes and reactions.

"And do you intend to do anything about it?"

"Actually, no. She's always been very poor, and a little luxury might be bringing her peace from losing her son. I don't like it, and inside I revolt with great anger that she is enjoying herself while her son is buried and thinks her daughter is locked up, eating what she was sending, just to make sure she stays here. And I am also angry that I have to pay for their mistakes, while for her it is a party. But still, I will leave her alone. For now. I believe that the time for revenge always comes."

"You are a good girl. But your opinion may change after everything you will know now. Hull the potato because they have already come looking to cook to roast them for lunch. Francine, one of Andrey's lovers, likes them stuffed and baked.

"I think I know who she is. I saw her lying in a room here downstairs."

"You will see her many times yet. Don't bother with that."

Andressa shrugged and began to peel the potatoes while Carla began to tell what she knew and what she could.

"Your father is a mafia boss. He commands several countries and has his businesses all over the world, including here in Brazil. He is too prosperous, but he didn't have as many countries at his command as he always wanted at the time. He got involved with a woman, not knowing that she was promised by another boss, many times more powerful than he. It turned out that the young woman his father had become involved with loved his father and did not wish to marry the other boss, and always told his father that she had left her country to meet him. Her father never believed her, but he liked to feel like her Prince Charming, so they ran away together. He was ignorant of the true story that led her to him, and eventually they fell in love. And they lived together for a long time before she told him the whole truth, and it was after that that she got pregnant. When she was about to give birth, already feeling the pains, her father was forced to leave her in the care of the maid who was her friend, until he could send her to the hospital, because the mansion had been invaded. And his men were almost all dead outside. He then took refuge in the house and exchanged fire with the bandits. More of his father's men were alerted by someone and arrived to help. And while the shooting was going on outside, your father ran into the bedroom and was confronted with the scene that knocked him down for good. His wife had been shot in the head and one of the maids was holding the baby. Which was you. The war outside ended with many dead, but your father's men were victorious. The maid who was holding you in her arms took you and handed you to your father, who was still in shock. He held you and kissed your forehead. He knew that he could not continue to be safe and give you security in that house, for he knew that more men would come, and that they would not rest until they had killed you. He decided to take the maid who took him from his mother's entrails, after ordering them to give his mother a proper burial. He called the men who worked for him and explained that they would no longer be safe there, and that he would go to another country that he commanded, but did not say which, so that the information would not leak out and he would be persecuted. A few went with him, but others did not want to go, as they had family and homes there, and believed that they might work for the next big boss that took over. His father left then, with the maid who already had a son of about five years old, and some employees who loved him and did not want to stay away from him. It turned out that the maid who had the five-year-old son was beautiful. And she took care of you and made several maneuvers to win your father, who, in his need, accepted her, but didn't stop thinking about his daughter. And he was always taking pictures with you. As you grew older, you began to reject the maid who married your father. You only stayed with other maids and even with me, but you ran away from her. To this day I don't understand how your father never wondered how a bullet hit your mother in the head. She had just won you. There was no bullet hole anywhere in that room. Yet your father didn't think to check it out, certain that his beloved was hit by a stray bullet..."

"The maid who married her father, try as she might, didn't get much out of him. He gave her no jewelry or riches and left no money for her, not even possessions. She lived in luxury, but was always treated by him as one of the maids, which began to annoy her, because his attitude made the other maids treat her as an equal and not as their boss. Her father would order her to prepare the food, or serve the table, and even to clean the bathrooms. All this served to fill her with rage, because he treated you like a queen, and your childish desires were immediately satisfied. You had a room, at the age of three, just for your toys, and you played with them all. And you were very meticulous. You knew where each one belonged and sometimes, to see your reaction, we would move some of them and you would get angry. But we showed you a movie on TV, where the toys came to life when their owners were not around, and you started to believe that they changed places by themselves. Carla recounted as if she remembered something fun, with a smile on her lips, that made Andressa think they were good times. "But, there was one person, one single person, dissatisfied with all that. The maid who married your father, she couldn't see that he gave the same assistance that he gave you to her son. She only stayed away from him more, because she wanted him to grow up knowing who his real father was, and the money that your father tried to spend on the boy, making him a nursery for him with things his age, were used by her for other purposes, as nothing was missing besides her husband's attention in that house for her, he stopped giving her money, because some of his men told her that she was giving money to the father of her son to spend on drugs and gambling. At that time, she thought she was entitled to all her father's possessions and money, and dreaming of enjoying all that, and deprived of the money he no longer gave her, she gave it to the big boss who had been looking for it for years. The big boss personally went to the house where her father was living. He brought with him a veritable army. Your father then decided to meet him, believing that he was already dead. He didn't have half as many men as the other boss did. They sat in the living room, while the men waited outside.

"I have come for something that is mine. I have been looking for you for years to rescue it from your hands. I acted wrong the first time, I should have talked to you first before I attacked you. One of your men who stayed in the country after I took you for myself told me that you didn't know who she was at first, and that she only told you after she was sure of your love for her." The boss said resignedly, but with a firmness that demostrated that he would not leave there without her.

"Unfortunately or fortunately for her, you will never have her again. She died that day, with a stray gunshot wound to the forehead, while giving birth to our daughter." Her father said sadly.

"I didn't mean to hurt her.... I was an idiot. I love her very much."

"No one rules the heart. She didn't respond to your love and you wanted to force her. You could have won her over."

The big boss stood up.

"It didn't stay for either of us then. But I can't let you go unpunished. I need your suffering. I don't know why, but I think it will let you know that you took something very precious from me. If you had given her back to me, she would still be alive. So I'm going to take everything from you, so that you can feel my suffering. Your daughter will leave here immediately with the woman she married and her own child. I don't care where you go, and I will never seek to know your whereabouts, for the day I do, I will kill all three of you. You will abandon the few countries you command and I will be their boss now. And you will come with me to the place where I live, from where you took her from me. And where I will be able to see my suffering mirrored in your eyes all the days of my life."

"And if I refuse?"

"I will kill your daughter before your eyes. And I will shoot everyone here. Not only your men, but every family, every man, woman, young, old, child, will be killed. I have come prepared for this."

"Will you let me say goodbye to my daughter?""Her father asked, for he knew there was no way out. Actually, he didn't fear the Godfather, he just went with him, because something that day, which I can't tell you what it is, made him make that decision."

"The Godfather thought for a few minutes."

"Since you have agreed to give yourself up in favor of these people's lives, I will allow you to say goodbye to her, but it will be in front of me. Some maid can pick her up for you and take advantage and give the message so that your wife can leave the estate and the country immediately."

"Just as he wanted it was done. But while the maid went to give his wife notice of these things and to pick you up for your father to fire, he had an idea."

"Let me write to my men who are in charge of the states and countries, saying they must answer to you now."

"That pleased the big boss and he ordered the young maid to go with him to the office. He himself stood in the room and ordered a cup of coffee for one of the maids. What he didn't even imagine was that in addition to the letters your father wrote to his men, already expecting that they would not obey because they loved him, he wrote one for you and delivered one from your mother. It seemed that he knew you would have a hard time, but the letter could not be delivered until you were eighteen. The goodbye was sad, as he couldn't control himself and shed many tears and it was hard to get you out of his arms, because although you didn't understand what was happening, you seemed to feel that it was something very bad."

"And where is the woman who left with me and her son? Did she go back to the father of her child?"

"She tried to go back to him yes. She even lived with him for a while, but he didn't work and what little she could bring home in money wasn't enough and he died at the hands of the mob he owed. What happened in the house, was no secret to anyone, so she could no longer be trusted in that neighborhood to be called to work. She lost everyone's trust."

"And what did she do with me? Gave me to Mrs. Gloria?"

"No dear. Mrs. Gloria is this woman who ruined your father, because she is the one who gave your location to the big boss and prevented you from being able to have lived together. She is the same woman who is there in the pool. And then we find out that Thiago was not her son either, that the real mother refused to take care of him, because the father was the man that Gloria loved. And she gave the child to the father, since she couldn't afford to raise him, and Gloria fell in love with the child. Later, she got the job with her father, to support the house and the addictions of the child's father."

"So I am not related to either her or Thiago..." Andressa said in astonishment. "And does my father know what is happening now? Does he know where I have lived all these years?"

"He knows."

"And by the looks of it he doesn't care either."

"He cares, but even though he ended up becoming friends with the big boss, he's still a prisoner there. The big boss has remarried and even has children, but he won't release his father. He keeps promising that when the time is right he will release him. He doesn't even know that his father has taken everything from him. All the countries and neighborhoods and counties that were once dominated by your father's rival are now loyal to him. They love your father."

"Did this big boss really never know my whereabouts?"

"No, I believe he is suspicious, but he promised he would not look for you and he is keeping his promise."

"And how do you know so many details? You even know that there was no stray bullet.... And if it wasn't a stray bullet..."

"Because I was there the whole time. At the time I was working next to your mother all the time, I was only thirteen years old. But your father and your mother, they had great confidence in me. I saw Mrs. Gloria draw her gun and shoot your mother in the head as soon as she reached up to take you in her arms. But to her I was invisible. Mrs. Gloria didn't care about me. And it was as if she did things and knew that I would never tell. Who would tell such a thing to a father? And it was also me who was on the lookout when she turned her father in to the big boss, because she did it from inside the house, using the phone. And then when he came, I didn't want to leave your father alone with him and overheard the whole conversation. I am received there where he lives, but I am the only one who can visit him."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure. I guess I inspire trust..." Carla said simply.

"What about the letter? Why don't you give it to me now?"

"Because you haven't turned eighteen yet, and because on that day, you will know your family name, along with your father's and mother's names. And when you know it, you won't be able to contain yourself."

"I see... Why didn't he send me letters, which didn't contain something I wasn't supposed to know? I... I would like to know that I had a real father. Alive."

"Because the big boss won't allow it. Even our words are watched. They know I've always had my eye on you. But they didn't know where I came from."

"Mrs. Gloria didn't recognize you?"

"No. To her I remain invisible. Never forget that in this house no one knows of my contact with your father."

"I won't forget. But... Why have you been faithful to him all this time?"

Carla turned red and didn't answer, which in itself already served as an answer for Andressa. And she thought her father was an idiot for not realizing that yet.

"I have changed my mind about some things in relation to my 'mother'. She killed my mother and took me away from my father. I'm going to punish her for that. But don't worry. No one will know what she told me. Not even she will suspect that she is being punished, until I decide." Andressa said and stood up, throwing the last peeled potato into the bowl, which surprised Carla twice that day. She hadn't expected Andressa to be able to act coldly, knowing that her mother was murdered and that she had peeled the whole potato by herself while listening silently to her account of the events of her early childhood life.