Chapter 5 I quit

It's been over two weeks now and I'm getting kind of used to my horrible, horrible routine. But at the end, It'd be worth it.

I've been avoiding Xavier as much as I can, and for some the weirdest times I can't avoid him, there's always this tension between us and I hate it. I don't want to loose him. I've already lost way too much. I just got off work and was heading to school.

Betsy finally gave up on me so now I use the bus and I'm horribly going broke. I'm going to run out of money soon and the bills need to be paid, I also need to go grocery shopping one of these days or I might as well starve to death as well.

It was Friday, lunch time. Xavier smiled at me when I sat down by our table and let out a little "hi, Em".

That was the first time since last week that he has said something to me. He's been ignoring me. And I've been ignoring him. What we were doing was terribly wrong, so maybe this was the right thing to do if we both don't want to end up being hurt.

"So any plans for tonight, for the weekend?" Noah asked, while eating his salad.

Some dude on some gay app said that he's too fat, so Noah took it seriously.

"Hey, sugar, don't let that moron dude tell you to change yourself, okay?" I answered with a question.

"Oh, he turned out straight anyways!" he laughed. And Xavier chuckled.

"I'm doing this for myself." he leaned his arm, to squeeze my hand.

"Okay, then it's all good." I smiled.

"So what about tonight? I'll be mad bored at home and probably will eat two fucking boxes of ice cream!" Liz whined and we all laughed.

"I can't tonight." I said and opened my water bottle.

"Why? Going on a date?" Noah teased me. Xavier moved in his chair and coughed.

"No, I've got work. I'm only free on Sundays remember? Or Saturday nights since I don't have to worry about waking up early the next day. And I need to find a tutor, my maths teacher had been blabbing about my grades dropping. I mean it's not my fault I'm so busy the least of my worries happens to be a dumb maths test."

I answered with a sigh as I rub my temples. Life is so hard and it doesn't help that I suck at math. Practically don't understand a thing there, which was sad because all of them were good at it, while I was barely passing in the first place.

"Okay. Sunday then? We could go to my beach house. You know, while it's still nice outside. I heard water's not so cold." Liz suggested.

"Oh, we haven't been there since last summer!" I exclaimed, remembering about the little house by the ocean.

"Sounds like we'll have the best weekend, bitches! I'll get some weed. We could maybe ditch Monday's classes." Noah clapped his hands.

"No, no, no, no, no, no. I can't show up to work high. I'll immediately get fired. Plus let's just go Sunday and just sleep over there till Monday morning" I suggest and everyone made an agreeing noise.

"Is there a skatepark?" Xavier asked and I looked at him with heart eyes. I don't know. It just seemed so innocent. Xavier is not innocent.

"I'm afraid there is not!" Noah laughed in his face.

"Em, um, I could help you with math." suddenly Xavier said. He was scratching the back of his neck and looking at his plate. "Like until you find someone or something. Fuck, forget I said something." he murmured and was ready to get up already.

"Hey, I could really use your help. Saturday nights sounds cool since I'm free then" I sigh and grabbed him by his hand while he looked up at me.

Xavier as my math tutor sounds encouraging since he was really smart and I don't think I can get anyone else willing to sacrifice their Saturday night for tutoring, but what other options do I really have, I'm always darn busy. Plus, that meant a lot more time with him. Maybe us doing normal things will help me remember my past feelings for him.

Just when this summer started, he was only my best friend, it would be a whole lot easier if things would go back to how they were. I didn't want for them to go back, but we can't just have a sparky kiss and ignore afterwards.

"Really?" his face lit up with happiness.

"Of course" I say with an ear-to-ear grin.

"Saturday then?" I asked.

"Whenever you're free is fine by me." He says and holds my hand as we walk to the next class. I looked at our locked hands and smiled.

****

It was Saturday and I took the bus to work. A rain drop immediately falls down my cheek as I step off of the bus. And honestly I'm still not use to following the bus. It begun raining and I'm wearing a dress and one of my sandals is about to break. I just know it.

But at work it will be better. I prefer to wear sandals to work and I'm regretting it now. About half a mile away from my job, I feel the strap of my sandals disconnect and my right foot hits the wet sidewalk.

"I knew it!" I shout, my damp hair hitting my neck. I leave the sandals there and decide to go to the store next to the burger shop. I hoped they had shoes. When I go inside the store, I look around in search of shoes.

I finally find them and become disappointed seeing there are only cheap flip-flops. They'll break quicker than my bank account last month. I guess this will have to work. I buy the pink flip-flops and start back walking. Within less than ten minutes, the left one breaks, so I replace it with the sandal I still had left. After finally reaching the building, I ring out my dress from the rain before going inside.

Soon I reach Mr. Foreman's office, and he immediately looks at me with a scowl. "You're thirty minutes late. Again" He grumbles.

"I am so sorry, Mr. Boss. See my shoe br-"

"I do not care, Ms. Smith. Just get to work and don't let it happen again."

If he says that phrase one more time, I think I'm just going to lose my mind.

"Yes sir." I respond, putting my bag on the side of my desk.

For the remainder of the day, I try to work, but Mr. Foreman is even more mean than usual. He yells at me almost every hour, doesn't let me tell him about my day as usual and by the time three rolls around I am holding in my tears. I could only take so much, you know. I wipe my eyes as he comes inside after taking a cigarette break.

"Ms. Smith, do you have the paperwork I need?" "

No sir, I'm sorry."

"Oh for fuck's sak-" I stand up from my desk and grip my dress, trying to hold back my tears and afraid he will hit me.

"What the hell are you d-"

"I tried to prove them wrong, that I wouldn't quit like the rest of them. But you are a mean man, Mr. Boss. I showed up to work today with two different shoes, my clothes dripping, hair damp, and you only care about yourself. You know just because you're grumpy doesn't mean you have to make everyone else around you that way." I pick up my bag and walk to the door as he stares at me confused, "Now you just have a good day because I done just about had it. I fucking quit, Mr. Foreman!" I say before walking out of his office.

That probably wasn't the best idea. I got home and cried my heart out. Why does life has to be so cruel? What did I ever do to deserve such. I cried and cried till I ran out of tears. I was so thirsty and yet I can't even get up to get water. My eyes where all puffy and my nose was red as a tomato.

My voice raspy and dry. I picked up my cracked phone and called Xavier. He answered at the second ring. I told him to come see me if he wasn't busy and he said he'd be here in a minute. So I just sat there and waited for him as fresh tears stream down my face. Why does life have to be so cruel to me? I heard shuffling at the door and I knew it was Xavier.

He had his own key. I then heard loud footsteps coming up the stairs. I just sat there as I watched the door revealed a very worried Xavier.

"I quit" I say and begun sobbing as he pulled me in a side hug and patted my head.

"It's not your fault" he says as he shushed me.

"It is. I was the one that quit". "Don't blame yourself. Ever"

"I miss them" I sobbed even harder.

"I know, I know". He trailed his fingers on my shoulder making me calm down.

"I want to see them again. I want to be with them" I say when I begun to calm down.

"I know. I'm right here with you, I'll never leave. I'm right here with you" he kept on repeating those words and I find myself slowly drifting asleep.

I shuffled and felt something, or someone really really close to me. I screamed and pushed the person off my bed and they fell with a loud thud.

"Fuck" I heard the familiar voice groaned.

"I'm so sorry, I had no idea it was you" I say trying to hold my laughter as I help him up.

"It's okay" he says waving me off while holding his hip like an old man.

"You okay?" He asks and I bursted out laughing.

"I'm good" I say laughing while he glared at me. "I'm gonna go take a shower" he says walking to my bathroom.

"Don't fall and break your hip, grandpa" I say laughing really hard.

"Haha, very funny" he says and I can feel him roll his eyes.

Few minutes passed and he came out with my spear pink towel wrapped around his waist, displaying his v line.

"Still gat my clothes?" He asks as he walks to my closet to the side of his drawer.

"Yup. Um, I've been wearing your sweats and hoodies though" I say sheepishly.

"As long as you don't wear my tshirts then we're good"

"Well..." I trailed.

He popped his head and glared at me. "Well what?" He asked.

"Them too" I replied sheepishly.

"You're just lucky I love you" he went and went back to getting ready.

I also stood up to take a shower, I checked the time and it was already 8:42pm.

I showered and wore one of his hoodies and a pair of shorts. The shorts where non existent since the hoodie was longer and stopped mid thigh. I walked downstairs to be met with Xavier in the kitchen. He was wearing one of his grey sweatpants and one of my large pink tshirt. He looked cute and funny.

"What are you making?" I asked.

"Wanted to make cookies" he says and my face falls. I don't have the ingredients to make cookies.

"But now we're going grocery shopping" he says enthusiastically.

"Xavier..I don't have the money-"

"Shut the fuck up, Em. I don't ever want to hear you talk like this, ever" he says in a serious tone and I just nodded.

"I told you, if you need anything, and I mean anything at all, I'm just a phone call away, you understand?" He says sternly.

"Promise me" he says bringing his pinky finger for me to lock with mine.

"I promise" I say with a sad smile. We hoped in his car and begun driving to Walmart. We sat in comfortable silence while the radio was playing a random song.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Xavier says and I turn to look at him. I shook my head and he nodded in understanding.

"I can find us both an after school job" I looked at him again and I smiled, I'm glad to have him in my life.

"You don't have to do all that" I say with an awkward chuckle.

"No, I do" he says seriously.

"I love you, please don't leave me" I say.

"I would never" he says and holds my hand.

"I love you too, best friend" he says and kissed my hand.