Chapter 5 The Goodbye

As always, it was raining.

It was my father's funeral, and it was raining.

I still didn't see my brother, my uncle said he would need time to assimilate things, for the moment he only saw Juliet, who was supposed to be my cousin, our cousin. She and my brother were very close, since they were little, both older than me. It had been so long since I had seen her, I had no idea how she was.

The faces that kept looking at me, they were also judging me.

I know I wasn't welcome here, because once you leave this damn town it's like you can't go back.

And I was back, to the disgrace of many.

I had only one thing my father had asked of me in a long time, when he didn't even ask me not to leave that afternoon when I left here, now he was asking me to take care of my brother, who seemed to be tied to this place, so huge, so cold, but with such a small town.

The clouds were thick, grayish and...very gloomy, like this whole damn day.

My voice was hoarse from crying so much, but I didn't need to speak, after all, no one spoke to me, no one gave me condolences.

My eyes searched among these people for someone I once loved, when my breasts were still small, more than they were now, because they were not big, my look was tender and I was very giggly, but it was so strong or it was so strong that the memory was recent every time I thought of this place and how I was here... his image came to my head.

Trevor.

He was older than me and it was always a forbidden love, because he was engaged, although anyway he was young too, but his parents had an agreement with another family and that's how this town worked, but...that wasn't an impediment for him to give me my first kisses, to make me feel that thing you feel when you are innocent and the boy you like grabs your tits or leaves his hands on your ass. With him was the first time I felt my body turn you on, a tongue enter my mouth or my teeth clash from a bad kiss.

"Niece, there's a man looking for you," my uncle approached me, I was in a corner inside my own house, because people seemed to fill the whole place. My father was always a well-known and well-liked man in this town, his death was a great loss to everyone. "I think he's your fiancé."

Damn it, I told Susanna not to tell him anything!

Reluctantly I had to stand up, cross through the people as they stepped aside and gave way to me, as if I were the plague.

When I stepped out onto the porch, there he was, with a black umbrella, standing in front of a car.

How dare he even show up here?

I grabbed an umbrella that was with many others and went out to meet him.

"Are you so shameless as to show up here, Tommy? Have you not a shred of shame?"

"I'm here for you, Camilla. I come to support you." Did she have the nerve to say she was coming to support me?

"Well...you can go support yourself somewhere else, because I don't need anything from you, I left the ring with Susana, didn't she give it to you? Between you and me there is nothing."

"It was...a serious mistake and I'm sorry, you haven't let me apologize or explain about what happened."

"What are you going to explain to me, about how your penis was going in and out of her?"

"That I made a mistake! The biggest mistake of my whole life! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, baby." He lowered his umbrella with intentions of getting into mine, but I backed off, I was disgusted, so disgusted at the thought of him coming near me and this had to end it once and for all, make it clear to Tommy that his excuses or explanations would be for nothing, he didn't have me anymore and even if I burst into tears over how our engagement ended...I could get over it, maybe faster than I thought, I just hoped I wasn't pregnant and I was already even afraid to keep getting tested.

In my head I wasn't pregnant and I wanted that to be the real thing.

"I don't care about your mistake, it's all over. In fact, just yesterday I crawled into another man's bed, just to already give it all up for dead."

Seeing his face, his expression, she couldn't believe it. He smirked and pulled the umbrella away from me, the rain falling on both of us.

"You wouldn't dare," he said defiantly. I knew that tone perfectly well, deprive in superior, as always. "You wouldn't do something like that, you love me and we're going to get married."

"And just for that, because I loved you and your hurt was so great in me, for that very damn reason was that I did it and you don't know how I enjoyed it, Tommy," his hand rested on my shoulder, moving closer, he pressed his forehead to mine and then ran his hand down my cheek. "I had hours and hours of rich, pleasurable, hard sex." he raised his hand to smack me across the face, but I hit him with the umbrella first, recoiling. "How does it feel, you fucking dog!"

"You're the bitch! How could you be with someone else!"

"Ha! I found you with another woman! I saw your fucking penis come out of that filthy cunt and your hands on her fucking tits!"

"B-But..."

"But what?! You're the man and you can do whatever you want? Is that what you think?! And I'll tell you a secret...it wasn't out of spite, I wanted it and bad."

"You're a bitch!"

"Yes! You're unfaithful to me and you're the man! But I do it and I end up being a whore! To hell with you and everyone! Now, you fucking bastard, get the fuck out of here and let me mourn my father in peace!" she wanted to embolden herself again, but I wielded my umbrella to smash it over her head at the first one who came near her again. "Go away!"

I backed back out onto the porch, already in all my wet clothes.

I watched him leave and then decided to go inside, this place was bringing out the wild in me.

When I opened the door, they were all glued to it, many near the windows and others waiting to be told what was going on.

"That she's been dumped."

"He was unfaithful, but she did the same to him."

"He won't marry anymore."

"I'm sure that's why she came back."

"I hope she doesn't stay."

"Who did he cheat on her with?"

Those were just one of the few comments these people made, as if it was nothing, as if I wasn't listening to them.

My uncle made a strange sound and everyone went silent.

I was soaking wet and this whole thing looked like a circus, Tommy had come to ruin my father's funeral.

"Niece, it will almost stop raining. Get changed, because we will be going to bury your father shortly. Pay no attention to what you hear, you know how they are here. Just ignore them."

And that was the best thing to do, ignore them.

I went with my eyes down to the room where I had my bags and there I undressed, having to turn on the lights because although it was daytime, it was very cloudy and it seemed like six or seven o'clock at night.

I sat on the bed already without my clothes, with a towel to dry my legs and my wet feet.

"Cami." that voice.

I felt a shiver run down the back of my neck and spread throughout my body, I immediately stood up and covered myself with the towel.

"Trevor," I didn't know he was here, not in this room and certainly not in this place, he came out of the small terrace the room had. "You could have said you were there before I got undressed." I reproached him.

"I could have." he said matter-of-factly. I was no longer a teenager and he was a married man, perhaps with children and a beautiful family. "You also could have noticed someone."

"What are you doing here?" I wrapped myself tightly in the towel and he came over when I did.

"I'm so sorry about your father." He was the first person in this place to give me condolences and when Trevor hugged me I felt very fragile, sensitive, now crying. "I'm so sorry."

Feeling a hug, being able to cry without all the stares judging me, was something that felt so good. Outside this room there were just a bunch of people who didn't like me, even though they had no real reason to reject me, just because I left, but here, in their arms was me, with the only person who would give me a warm welcome and let me cry on their shoulder.

An hour later we were on our way to bury my father and the whole time Trevor stayed by my side.

Until it was time to say goodbye to my father.

I walked over with a rose in my hand and threw it on his grave. We didn't have the perfect relationship, we never quite got along, but he knew I loved him and I knew exactly how he felt about me.

I know he was happy because I was getting married and he was excited to come to my wedding, but none of that would be possible anymore.

"Goodbye, Dad. I promise I'll do everything in my power to take care of him."

And just like that...just like that, I said goodbye to him.