Chapter 5 Regret

Do nothing to suppress the needy heat that's burning inside me, and I clutch hard to mny pajamas as I press my legs as tight as they could do.

I watch as his eyes follow my movement and they darken upon settling on my thighs. Does that help the tingling feelings? No, it doesn't. It only intensifies them as I watch those green orbs disappear into the dark

"Abigail" He calls again.

This time, his voice softer and dropping to an octave. It's almost like he's testing the sound against his tongue and I would lie if I say I don't find that fucking hot.

"I understand you are very well capable of controlling your own decisions, but I also know you aren't the type of girl to do something like this. "

But maybe I'm that type of girl after all because all I can think of at the moment is your hands all over me, grabbing me roughly and doing me hard against my door or maybe my desk.

Every ounce of the good girl in me already flew out the window at this stage. "So tell me, little Greene, why did you? He finally moves his gaze away from my thighs to meet mine and I forgot how to breathe for a damn whole second. Must I really tell you? Why can't your mouth work them out of me? No, goddamn. What the fuck is wrong with me?

"Abigail, " I didn't realize that I had left him hanging, and now he's only an inch away from me, with him hovering over me. His breath was all over my face and once again, Abigail forgot how to breathe.

"Stop that, " He whispers, his hands settling at each side of the bed. And at this rate, he's caging me in his arms. I can feel his body heat surrounding mine, and I've never hated personal space as much as I do right now.

"Stop what?" I retaliate and his eyes fall to my thighs, which are still rubbing against each other.

Only that, right now, they are almost rubbing against his crotch.

Oh my fucking hormones, how long have I been doing that? I'm sure my face is as red as anything as I shuffle backwards to move a little away from him. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I was-"

I stop speaking as my eyes meet with his once again.

At the sight of this tattooed, pierced man, I'm ready to tear my own pants down and have him fuck me against any surface, which brings me to a realization. And before I can stop myself, " I need your help."

"AbIGAIL! Are you nuts, Little Greene?! Sinclair pulls away from me so fast-as if a bolt of lightning had just struck him and I shrink into the bed at the expression that covers his features.

He looks so damn disgusted, like the mere thought of what I suggested irritates him so fucking much. Way to fucking go Abigail! Once again, the universe proves to you-you are not enough for anyone.

You will never be enough for anyone I'm-I'm sorry. Forget I ever suggested that. I don't know what came over me.

It must be what I was watching earlier. I-please just forget I mentioned that. I stammer stupidly, looking everywhere but at him because I don't think I can bear to see that look on him again.

What the hell is wrong with me?!! Why the hell would I suggest it to him? How can I expect my brother's best friend to help me explore my sexual desires? In which fucking world does that happen? And even if it does; why do I think it'll ever happen to me? The good girl-the good never enough for anyone, nerd.

"Abigail, where are these thoughts coming from? This is not you?" I raise my gaze to meet Sinclair's and the look he has on his face. Oh, dear God.

"Please forget that I mentioned that. Please, just leave"

"Abigail!" He calls again but I'm quick to cut him off, shaking my head and turning my back to him, tears pricking my eyes and tearing to fall like the pathetic girl I am.

"Just leave, please. You should go. I'm sure my brother would expect you." The room falls into silence. A very suffocating one and when it seems like he isn't ready to leave just yet, I slide down the mattress, laying on my side and draping the duvet over me as I sob into the soft material. And once again, my pathetic existence has been mocked.

What made you think I would ever love a girl that gives me no pleasure when there are plenty around that would?" Alvin's mocking tone resonates deep in my mind; bringing more tears to my eyes and I bite into my sheets, my body trembling from all over.

First, Alvin and now, Sinclair. My brother's best friend.

The guy that I've always admired. The guy that's way fucking higher than my standard. Shame on yóu, Abigail. You got rejected twice in a single day.

"Abigail!" I shut my eyes, taking several deep breaths before plastering a smile on and turning around to see Lucy running towards me. Her right hand pushing her glasses up from falling down her nose, just like always.

"Damn, girl! I've been looking for you all around the whole school but here you are," She holds onto my shoulder, her head in a bowing position as she takes in fast drawls of air to calm down her breath and I smile at her, though her gaze isn't on me.

I still have some fear that she might've noticed some panic in na and she is so persistent, Lucy can do anything to find out why I'm sad or moody most often! I try to distract her so she will not discover that I'm really not fine due to what happened in school between Alvin and I and what has just happened!