Chapter 2 Costly

"Jesus! What am I doing here!?"

The whole place looked so strange to me. Not a thing looked familiar, except for the surroundings of Santa Monica.

"This is definitely not my room."

I had woken up feeling so much pain, but I had no idea what it was about. I was more concerned with the fact that I was in a room that didn't look like the one I had lodged in. My mind was saved the stress of wandering when I stumbled on a letter on the other side of the bed. Quickly, I grabbed it.

"It must have the answer to my question," I thought to myself.

Surely, it did.

"I had to leave for a while because I have some business to catch up with. Please make sure to wait

for me to come back. Also, last night was fun. Even though we were both drunk, we definitely had the best moment of our lives."

"...we definitely had the best moment of our lives..." I read that part again and quickly looked at my beneath. I didn't seem to realize I had been naked. I saw blood stains on the bed sheet.

"What the fuck!" I just didn't know what to say. I had let myself down; I had allowed a stranger take my virginity.

I was broken.

Gradually, I started recalling the events of the previous night. After I concluded business with Mr Scott, I had gone back to Santa Monica to cool off, since I was going back to New York the next day. I met a group of ladies whom I had played games with by the beach side before going back inside to have a glass of whisky. One glass turned to a couple. I don't even know why, considering I didn't like drinking much. I don't remember clearly what happened afterwards, but I know I was drunk and staggered towards a walkway before walking into a dark room. I must have mistaken it for mine.

I walked into a trap! And now, I have allowed a stranger take my virginity. Anger or hurt, I had no idea which I felt most...maybe I felt both.

Even if I couldn't hold back the tears, I had no one to blame. If only I hadn't gotten drunk.

"I don't really think going to L.A is a good idea. I just have a bad feeling about it," my best friend, Laura, had earlier advised.

I should have listened to her.

Quickly, I cleaned myself up and walked quietly to my room. Packing my luggage, I left, boarding a taxi to the airport.

My heart raced!

I felt used and broken. I couldn't help but cry as we journeyed.

A lot of thought ran through my dismembered mind at will as I continually stared at the letter the stranger had dropped, but none hurt more than knowing that he had had a piece of me. He even assumed I enjoyed it. Like a flash, my heart raced to Bridge, my boyfriend. We had been together for nearly two years and, in that time, I never allowed him have sex with me. I had explained to him that sex was a commitment I wasn't ready to make. I didn't want to be used and trashed. Like the gentleman that he was, he respected my decision, a trait that was rare to find amongst men in America. He knew I was a virgin, but how was I going to tell him that I, in my drunkenness, had let myself loose to a complete stranger. He also knew I wasn't given to much drink. Would he even believe me?

My cell phone beeped, jolting me from my endless thoughts. Someone had sent me a text message.

"I need $800 now. Thank you." It was my mother, Catherine. I can't even tell why I kept referring to her as my mother. She was everything a real mother wasn't. She did nothing but set for me the worst example of motherhood. The only time she called or texted me was whenever she was broke, or was in some trouble.

Massively addicted to gambling, she always ensured she left me huge debts to pay. She felt entitled to whatever I had, as if I owed her such loyalty. I would work my socks off only for her to squander it. She was compounding my woes, but I was having none of it.

I picked up my cell phone and sent her a text message.

"I don't have any money to give you. Go sort yourself out," I had ended, visibly upset. I loved her, but I really disliked her way of life; it clearly was at odds with mine.

Hardly had I dropped my cell phone when I got a text from her... "If you love me, prove it," it read.

She knew my weak point...and she had taken advantage of it. I couldn't say no to her, even though I wanted to. Feeling defeated, I called someone.

..."Jessica..."

"Laura," I replied,trying hard not to sound how I felt.

"Are you okay?," she asked.

"Yes," I lied.

"Sure?." She didn't seem satisfied. She knew me better than anyone, and, obviously, she knew my voice betrayed me when I said I was okay.

"I got a text message from my mother."

"Another cash?." She already knew it was only on the basis of money that Catherine would call or text me.

"Yes, but I don't have it." "How much?"

"$800."

"I'll send it to her, but we really need to put a stop to her unbearable addiction. You can't keep paying for her sins, you know."

"I do, but I'm just tired. I don't even know what to do anymore. This shit is getting me f*ucked up."

"You'll be fine, baby girl," she assured me. "Thank you; thank you for the cash. I owe you."

"Big time!" We both managed to laugh.

"See you soon," I said.

"I can't wait. Hope you got my favorite?"

"What if I didn't?." We both laughed. She knew I wouldn't forget it. Luckily for me, I had bought it the previous day. Laura, what a friend she is. She is the only one who could hear my words even when I said nothing. My childhood sweetheart, we had both sworn not to give our bodies to anyone until we were married...and we held on to it until last night.

How do I tell her I failed!?

The thought of this only breaks me. I've made a costly mistake, one I would have to live with for the rest of my life.

Costly!