Chapter 4 Terrible Decision

Jaxon

"What the f*ck did you just say to me?"

When I first walked into the gambling den, which was infested with the downtrodden vermin of society, I was not expecting to be thrown for a loop, for my morality to be tested, well, more than usual that is.

Yet, here he was, Sara's delightful f*cking father, offering me the one thing I could never have.

He smirked, that almost sinister, smug grin, and moved closer before he whispered, "You've had your eye on her for years now, haven't you?"

"So you want to sell her to me?"

Was he insane? His own daughter?

"She is all I've got left. Please. Forgive my debt, and you will have Sara."

Daren was practically on his knees in front of me, his eyes wide and hungry for salvation, the kind only I could give him, the kind they all begged me for. Their lives.

"You make me f*cking sick."

He scoffed and reeled back as though I had slapped him. I should punch him in his f*cking cocky a*s face instead. "Sicker than a man who wants his friend's child?"

"She's not a godd*mn child anymore. She is an independent woman who can't be bought or sold, especially by her own father."

The rage that was burning its way up my chest and into my face had me seeing red. This bastard would do anything to save himself, throw anyone under the bus just to make his life a little easier. What would he do without Sara? He wouldn't survive.

"So is that a no?"

"What?"

Daren stepped back and glanced around the room. There were still a few players in the game, but they were watching us instead of their hands. "I'm sure I can find someone else here that would be willing to cough up the money if Sara is the prize."

What did he just say? "You've got to be joking.... You are not going to sell her. You hear me?"

He cackled. F*cking cackled. This bastard was insane, and to think that I considered him a close friend not too long ago. "Sara will understand. She always does. After this, we can start all over. Debt free."

"You think she'd want anything to do with you after she finds out?"

Daren shrugged. "She's my daughter. We're family."

That meant he expected me to use her and toss her, to throw her back to him once I was done so that he could resell her once he fell too far into debt again. He was psychotic... even more than me. If I didn't agree to this, then Sara would be taken by someone much, much worse. I groaned out, "I'll do it."

Daren cocked his head to the side, almost like he hadn't heard me. That little prick.

My teeth refused to ease up as I clenched them and seethed, "I'll take the offer."

It was almost as though he had become a completely different person. Daren's face lit up, and he would have fallen to his knees if he hadn't grabbed a hold of one of the chairs before his legs wobbled. Sh*t, this was a bad idea.

***

I had been right about one thing, Sara was not happy. Her face was lined with fear and confusion as she was led across the casino and into the back poker room. Her wide eyes darted back and forth, searching. Even when her father wrapped his disgusting arms around her, she was as stiff as a board.

She knew something was off. She had to know. There was no other way to explain her reaction. This place was mine, but she had no clue, no knowledge that I worked in this area of the city, that I helped run the underbelly of organized crime, that I was a criminal in this corrupt city.

One day when she'd figured that out, Sara would stop looking up to me. She wouldn't think of me as a mentor any more, a self-made editor that took over the publishing company and ran it with an iron fist. No, she would only see the tainted criminal underneath it all. She wouldn't understand the necessity of the way I lived. As she stood there, talking with her father, all I could do was yearn for her to never be exposed to this world.

I was the one who'd had Ivan bring her here. I was the one that made this possible. It was all my fault. If it hadn't been for her disgusting father, and my torrid predilections, Sara would be safe and sound at home, far from this infested rat hole, far, far away from me.

I tried to remember her smile, her soft voice that lulled me into a trance. I would be hearing that voice a lot more in the future, and I wasn't sure how strong my resolve was. I shouldn't have agreed to this. I should have taken it back, to give her the freedom she deserved, that she could live peacefully. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to say the words. I wanted her, regardless of what I had to do, or what I had to settle for.

I was going to have to be a lot stronger than I had been, with no more late rendezvous meetings with her in her kitchen, no more lapses of judgment as I almost dipped down and grabbed her by the waist, slamming our bodies together as I crashed my lips onto hers.

No, I was going to have to keep a professional distance... a very large, gaping distance, one in which I would not be able to reach the other side even if I tried. That was the only way I would be able to protect her.

I zoned back into the conversation as I moved from the shadows behind Sara. Her ass was firm against the cloth of her pants, tight and smooth. It was as though she was begging me to grab her, squeeze her ass. F*ck.

Sara's voice was trembling as she spoke. "Sold me to who?"

God, she was going to hate me.

I swallowed the bile rising up into my throat before I rumbled out, "Me."

Sara turned to face me, her eyes widening further. There was a flash of betrayal behind her usually glimmering gaze. It tore right through me.

"Jaxon?" Her voice was weak, exhausted.

She never thought I'd be the one to do such a thing.

Yet, that was only because she had no idea who the real me was, what my mind had me doing to her in my dreams almost every night. D*mned if I was going to tell her what my body was excited for in that exact moment... having her under the same roof, with only a couple of thin walls between us, the tease that her body would give me, the temptation. The urge to take her would be a constant companion for the rest of our time together... and somehow that was comforting.

I would be tortured every day, every moment. I would have deserved each and every minute of that agony. Sara needed to stay far away from my life, from the life that I would inevitably drag her into. We would be living together, but our personal lives would be separate. I would make sure of it. I had to if I wanted her to be safe, protected.

Deep down, though, a part of me whispered, 'But she's mine.'

No. I can't. I won't. She was not mine, never was and never would be.

I pushed all thoughts of Sara, along with her wide hips and deliciously full breasts, from my mind as I stared into her jagged glare.

"Your father decided that your life was meaningless compared to his debt." I tried to force down any wavering emotion and dried my tone into a singular pitch.

"You mean the money he owes you?"

She was right. Of course, she was. "Yes. Owning the publishing company isn't all that I do, I'm afraid. This gambling den is mine. The money he took out as a loan is mine. This is how he will pay me back."

She swallowed. "Ask for something else."

To be the man she thought I was at that moment was the only way that I would make it out of this scenario intact, with some semblance of my dignity, without Sara knowing how I really felt. "He offered. I didn't ask."

She then whipped back around on Daren, who was startled at first. "Dad, what the h*ll?"

He fell into that pitiful acting routine where he whimpered, tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. What else could I do?"

Sara snapped, and her fury blasted my face with a heat wave. "Stop f*cking gambling!"

"Take her back to the house to pack her things," I ordered.

"No. I am not some object that you can sell back and forth," she stated.

"It's already done."

"Jaxon!"

Ivan moved to Sara's side. As he placed a hand on her arm, the possessive instinct to rip her away and push her behind me as I punched my man tensed within me. "Come on. Don't get the boss angry."

I forced the urge down, knowing that I couldn't get Sara to do anything if I showed her this side of me.

She sneered at Ivan. "Does it look like I f*cking care if he's angry or not? Jaxon, you can't order me around like this."

She wheeled around on me, her eyes lit with a fury that had my c*ck hardening in my tight jeans. Luckily, it was unnoticeable with everyone's eyes on my beautiful spitfire.

The rage she threw at me melted, and I allowed a smirk to form on my lips. "The way I see it, I own you now. Just get your bags packed. Now."

Sara's eyes dulled instantly; all the fight receded from her body, and her shoulders went limp. She fell back, allowing Ivan to drag her away as tears glistened in her beautiful gaze. I was never going to have her smile at me again, not like before. This moment would always be weighing on her.

I yanked out that emotion and turned on Daren. "And you."

"Thank you, Jaxon. You saved me."

"I did no such thing. The way I see it, I saved her from you." I shoved him back, allowing his body to fall against one of the tables. He grunted and winced with the impact. "Get this f*cker out of my sight."

There was a lot to do and get ready for in the next hour before Sara arrived at the house. I needed to make her feel comfortable, as much as she could in my house, under my roof. The idea had my c*ck twitching. F*ck, this was going to be h*ll.