Chapter 2 Cycle of Life

Amy's Point of View:

When someone never acknowledges my efforts, it annoys me. I dedicate my entire life to making them happy, and I fulfill all of their demands and needs. I only asked that they carry out their duties, and that was it. What they did, on the other hand, was simply waste it. My mother owes money, and Amanda was wasting her tuition money on meaningless things. Currently, I'm unsure about what to do. Because of them, I have no social life, and they simply act as if they don't give a damn about how I feel.

"I'm sorry for what your sister did." As she handed me a cup of coffee and a slice of one of her pastries, my mother said.

We're currently watching a movie in the living room.

In appreciation: I began to sample the baked goods she had made.

"Are you certain you'll cease paying for your sibling's college expenses?" The question has been raised by her.

I fix my gaze on her. "Yes, she can handle it by herself, and that's her lesson." I responded.

"What if she is unable to find a part-time job?" I guess that's why my mom was concerned about her.

I said, "She can do the job because she is talented and beautiful."

Amanda is a little bit more attractive than I am, but I'm just an average woman. She is taller than me and possesses wavy hair as well as blue eyes.

"However, since you resigned, what are your plans moving forward?" The question is brought up by her.

"I'll initially purchase a new home for you." I spoke.

She was amazed by what I said.

"You're certain of that?" "Why?" "Are you thinking of getting married?" she stated.

"**_uck married," I exclaimed.

"No, and I don't intend to have it." I'm not even sure I can envision myself with a husband-I'm serious.

My mother simply gives me a serious stare. "Amy, you look fabulous and have a great smile." "You should find a partner and get married given that you are already 24 years old!" She applauded as she spoke.

"I have to help you and Amanda first, mom." "However, I don't have time for it." I emphasized to her that I had pledged to take care of my mother and my younger sister and that I didn't want to break my word to Dad.

"Amy, it's about your own happiness. I am conscious that it has been quite difficult for you. Even though I don't put on a show, I can sense your weariness from taking care of us and providing for us when you didn't have to-after all, it was my responsibility to do so in the first place. " She spoke.

"Don't worry, mom; Amanda and you are my top priorities." Despite the fact that you both have big egos, I still care for and love you both. Mom, you're right. Even though I'm a bit worn out, I have to be bold enough to see to our family's necessities since Dad just passed away. Amanda is currently enrolled in her third year of college, which means that she will complete her studies in a relatively short amount of time. And you, please stop spending money, ok? "Use it responsibly." I spoke.

"I miss your dad." Mom said, her voice trembling. I just stare at the television because I can tell she is crying.

"Likewise, mom," I said.

"I hope we can get through this stage, especially Amanda." She is quite close to your dad, and I guess that is why she struggles to concentrate in class. doing things she wasn't even accustomed to doing. And you shifted; you ceased being selfish. "You are not treating yourself to the satisfaction you desire." Mom was right. Instead of just me, Amanda was quite close to our father. I suppose it has a significant effect on her. But I'm hoping that soon she'll understand that she must face the fact that our father is no longer in existence.

"Mom, we can get through this stage if we just accept it." The cycle of life must be accepted. Even though it wasn't simple, we must I spoke.

"Amy, I'm doing it." "I'm learning to accept that your father isn't physically here with us, but I know he's overseeing us from Heaven." She said this as she began to cry.

"Cry, let it all out." I am indeed a workaholic, so I am aware that we are not even close. However, I'm here to offer my ears and shoulders to you. She leaned her head against my shoulder as I spoke.

"Your father is no longer with us." She continued and then started crying.

Since they always made each other happy and did anything they wanted when my dad was still alive, I know my dad was her first love. Dad was an adventurous man; every weekend, he would beg my mom to go somewhere. Even with us, they always make time for one another. We attend church on Sunday and then go to an amusement park to have fun. Back then, we were a very large and happy family. We used to watch movies and television shows constantly. and suddenly everything has shifted.

My mother, who used to giggle every day, was gone, as was Amanda, who was constantly cracking jokes and making others laugh. I'm the only one who hasn't changed at all; I don't want others to see that I'm going through it. I have to be able to handle them.

"Amy, thank you for everything; you've always provided for us. "You are a great person and a great sibling." "I know I've never said it before, but I'm so grateful to have you in my life, and I'm so proud of you." I'm delighted to have heard what my mother said, since it makes me feel happy. I believed that she was unappreciative of my efforts and devotion to them. This is just what I needed after a rough day.

"Thank you, mom. "I love you." I immediately kissed her forehead.

My mother decided to just go shopping after spending an hour talking about various topics. I asked if I might accompany her, but she flatly refused. She simply requests that I visit Amanda in her bedroom.

"KNOCK! KNOCK!"

She didn't even bother to answer the door when I knocked, so I opened it for myself since it wasn't locked.

I was a little taken aback when I walked into her filthy room. She may not have even cleaned her room since the day her father passed away. I simply sighed heavily and then began to gather her soiled clothes. She was laying in bed by herself, gazing up at the ceiling. On the ground, there are also empty beer bottles. She simply continues to drink every night.

"What brought you here?" She asks me coldly.

"I'm simply checking you." I replied and simply kept placing her filthy clothes in the laundry room and the empty bottles in the garbage.

"You can leave my room if you commence to dispute," she stated.

She was still staring at the ceiling as I sat down next to her and simply observed her.

"I won't; I'm simply here to listen." I am aware that you are thinking about something that is bothering you. Your elder sister is present, as am I. She murmured nothing in response to what I stated.

I groaned heavily, but I couldn't make her talk since I could tell it was about her father, being aware of their strong relationship.

Amanda, I know you are not like this. I was astonished to find that you had a cigarette in your mouth, that your room was disorganized, and that there were numerous empty liquor bottles on the floor. I am aware that the death of our father is the reason why you are not around anymore, Amanda. I spoke.

"I really would like to hug him so desperately, but it doesn't sink in to me." She spoke while glancing across at me.

She seemed pale, and her eyes looked quite fatigued.

"Amanda, you must face his passing because our father doesn't want you to endure such pain and because your vices are ruining your life."

"I can only understand myself through alcohol and cigarettes."

"No, it'll only damage your health," I said. "Since that was also how we felt, we will listen to you and understand you, and I am here to help." Then I reacted.

"Considering how close my dad and I were to one another, I find it impossible to accept." We spent some time together. "He was my closest friend and most powerful motivator."

"I understand Amanda, however, there is no turning back in time; instead, you should cherish the memories you have of our father." And I have no doubt that he is gazing down on you and us from above. "We will be guided by him."

"I would prefer to follow him." My head prods hers.

"You can't, I repeat." Please refrain from taking any risks because we can't afford to lose you. However, I am aware that she is now independent and free to act on her opinions, and I wouldn't want her to attempt suicide.

"I am very worn out." She uttered those words while crying.

I gave her a cuddle and just let her weep.

"Just cry; I'll be here." "I'll be your shoulder to cry on." I murmured.

"And you are upset with me because I violated certain university rules," "Yes, I am, and you must bear the costs." Additionally, I apologize if I cease paying for your tuition because I recently bought a new property for our family. You are also a hard worker, so I'm confident you can get a part-time position. Helping yourself will make everything worthwhile. "Believe in me." I spoke.

"Why did you buy a new house?" The question has been asked by her.

"Are you comfortable with that?" "Because if we stay here, we will always recall his presence in this house, we must admit that we must let go of the past."

"I don't want to abandon this home," "But we have to."

"Please don't let this house come up for sale," "Yes, I won't, and we can visit this place," she replied.

"But why did you just quit your job?" How did she learn about it?

"How did you find out about it?" I ask.

"Mom just informed me; why do you have to?"

"I merely require a new career as well as some new coworkers." "But your salary there was good; why instantly?"

"Don't bother "It is just money; I will also find a job after we leave this property, and please bear in mind that I need to stop providing your tuition fees; you are already twenty years old; you can have a part-time job; I need to pay all the debt of our mother and also the other fees of the burial; I haven't paid them," I said.

Financially, I am also having a hard time right now.

"Don't worry; I will quickly locate a part-time job as well." She stated.

"Amanda, thank you."

"I'm sorry if you find my room in such a terrible state; I'll get it cleaned up." As she stands up and straightens her hair, she adds.

"I have nothing to do, so I can help you." I spoke.

She simply didn't respond to me before beginning to clean her room.

I am aware of her tremendous mental and emotional exhaustion, but she must continue to battle for her life. Our father passed away recently, but it doesn't mean we should stop attempting to survive.

I am confident that he'll be sad no matter where he is if he sees Trisha wasting her life on vices. She was still a child, and I didn't want her to begin her life in ruin. She'll probably take something away from it and finally come to terms with it. We are still in the healing process, but I am still concerned about them both since they are not physically capable of handling this level of suffering. I had to prove to them that I was courageous and strong enough to handle life without our father. In light of They will realize I didn't accept our father's death and that nothing can change our situation. From now on, we must survive. that death will come ultimately in the course of life's cycle.