Chapter 4 It's Not You,It's me

When I wake up from our nap, we are in a different position.

Sam is now leaned up against the arm of the couch while my head rests on her chest.

Her big strong arms are wrapped lazily around my waste and the smell of her cologne mixed with her natural scent instantly relaxes me.

I'm a bit confused because I know we fell asleep in the opposite position, but she must've woken up and switched us at some point.

I must have been pretty tired myself if I didn't even wake up. I did just work a twelve hour shift before coming home.

My throat feels a little dry from the cold so I start to get up to adjust the heat and get some water when I feel her grip tighten around me.

"No, don't go."

I giggle a little and kiss her cheek bringing a sleepy smile out of her.

"I gotta get ready for work silly."

She peeks an eye open and frowns at me.

"But I want more cuddles."

I shake my head and push my body up so that my face hangs over hers.

"And I want to laze around a fancy house all day instead of working my ass off so..."

I lay my forehead against hers and release a contented sigh when I feel her hands trail up and down my curves.

"Unless you plan on marrying me and making me a housewife, I suggest you let me get up."

Her face instantly turns red and she lets go of me to hold her hands up.

"Wow wow slow down there! I love you ash but I'm not looking for anything serious right now."

I let out a chuckle and kiss her nose before sitting up on her lap.

"Oh well, can't say I didn't try."

I know she was just being silly, but the fact that we'll never be more than this still stings sometimes.

I start to move off of her when I feel her encircle me again with her warm embrace.

"Hey, it's not you love,I promise. Anyone would be lucky to have you ash it's just, like how we are now.I don't want to try to push something that might tear us apart."

I nod my head, facing away from her as her words stab into my heart.

Tears threaten to escape as I feel her try to pull me closer.

"Ash don't-"

I cut her off trying my best not to let her hear the emotion in my voice.

"It's fine. I understand."

I force a smile her way and playfully pinch her cheek.

"Im too good for you, I get it."

I get off of her and make my way to the kitchen with her hot on my tail.

"Alright alright I didn't say all of that. Now you're getting ahead of yourself for real."

I laugh at her little attitude as I pack my lunch for my next shift.

I told the other bartender that I would come in early to help with the rush since were on winter break and we slept for so long that its about that time already.

I offer to drive Sam home, but she says she wants to stay and clean up some before heading out even though I told her it was fine.

"How many times do I have to tell you that you are a GUEST. You don't have to clean up my messes."

She shrugs her shoulders before turning on the tap to wash the few dishes that have collected In the sink.

"I'll tell you I don't mind every time."

I roll my eyes and kiss her cheek before rushing out the door.

"Eat whatever you want!"

I back out of the driveway and sigh once I get out of view.

How long will I be able to play this game?

I know we're trying not to complicate things and the way we are now works but its hard.

She is all that I think about.

The one that I crave.

She's so smart and funny and sexy as hell.

She treats me like a queen every chance she gets and I want nothing more than to see her happy.

Why would the universe give me the perfect person for me but make me too afraid to take things a step further?

I take a deep breath as I tighten my hands on the steering wheel.

"So she wants things to stay like this huh? I guess I can live with that."

Fast forward about a year and things are still the same.

I still work at Andy's because,who else is the guy going to get to run this place, and Sam is still Sam.

She pretty much gave up on finding her "soul mate"and has just been getting with pretty much any girl she wants.

Even right now, she's chatting a girl up at the end of the bar while I serve drinks to customers.

She keeps shooting me looks to try to get me to help her decide if she wants to take the girl out or not but she's not being subtle about it at all.

I look her over and tilt my head a little trying not to be obvious about it but its hard to be discreet when the girl is literally right in front of me.

She's about 5'4, blonde hair, blue eyes. She's cute though so I just shrug.

Sam rolls her eyes at me and this was obviously the wrong move.

The girl raises an eyebrow and looks over in my direction but I casually start up a conversation with a customer so I don't seem suspicious.

I glance over right as the girl gets up to leave.

Sam tries to get her to stay but I think her date got the wrong idea.

"Hey wait, where ya goin?"

The girl rolls her eyes and walks off, leaving sam behind.

I make my way over to her and I'm trying my best not to laugh, but that was pretty bad.

"Ya know we really gotta work on this code thing. I think it was a little obvious this time."

She says as I hand her a beer.

I laugh.

"A little? You can't roll your eyes at someone else in a girls face Sam, it gives it away instantly."

She rolls her eyes at me again and crosses her arms across her chest.

"What do you mean?I barely rolled them."

I throw my towel at her and laugh when it lands on her face.

"You just did it again! Gosh, for someone trying to be a teacher, you really don't pick up on a lot of things do you?"

She's currently doing student teaching so every chance she gets she's telling me about how her classes are going and the crazy things the kids in her class do everyday.

I know she's going to make a great teacher when she has her own room. Even though she's a goofball.

She scoffs and leans on the bar while I start cleaning some glasses.

"For your information, I'm a pretty good teacher. I know everything that goes on in my classroom even when my back is turned."

I raise an eyebrow at that statement considering I could get away with murder even if she was looking me in the eye.

She's cute and I love her but she isn't the most observant person in the world.

"Oh really?"

I reach across the bar and spin her around in the stool.

"Tell me then, what am I doing right now?"

She tries to turn her head to look back at me but i put a stop to that pretty quickly.

" Ah ah ah! You said with your back turned."

She sighs before smiling as she tries to concentrate.

"Lets see.You're making me a free drink,because I'm cute and you feel bad because I didn't get a date?"

I burst out laughing as she turns back around, giving me that smooth, warm smile again.

"Definitely not what I was doing, but you are cute so I suppose."

She does a pumps a fist in victory as I pour her a glass of whiskey before tending to my other customers.

As the night winds down, I notice that she's still sitting at the bar with her head resting on her arms.

She worked all morning and has been here since she got off. Its almost midnight and I know she must be exhausted.

What is she still hanging around for?

I finish cleaning up and ensure all of the customers are gone before I go over and boop her on the nose.

She jumps, slightly startled and blinks her eyes up at me.

"Yes love?"

I smile at the way she says the last word before leaning on the bar across from her.

"You spending the night here or somethin?"

She smiles and sits up,stretching her arms above her head.

"No but geez, I thought you'd never get off."

I laugh as I grab my bag and lead her out the back door.

"Well you didn't have to stay the whole night. Besides you worked all morning."

She nods her head, walking beside me as we make our way to the parking lot.

"I did yes, but I wanted to make sure you got home safely. I know it can get wild here sometimes on the weekends."

I give her a confused look as I lean back on my car. I know she can be protective at times but she didn't seem all that concerned about me before.

"Oh really? And what about your possible hot date from earlier?"

She shrugs.

"Eh it would've been over by now."

I gasp and slap her chest making her laugh.

"Sam! Don't be a little fuck boy now."

She waves her hands at me as she tries to avoid my blows.

"I'm kidding ash. I would've at least called you to make sure you were safe. It helps me sleep better at night knowing you're okay."

I laugh little before turning away from her to unlock my door, and hide how red my face just got.

"That's sweet Sam, but I'm a grown woman. I can handle myself. Besides, The guys are here watching the place every night and those Saturday morning self defense classes at your places aren't just for fun."

I raise my arm up, flexing the new round muscle that has grown there and she rolls her eyes.

"Yeah yeah, I'm still gonna worry about you even though you're getting a little tough."

I roll my eyes and get in my car as a cold breeze come through.

She leans over the door and smiles down at me, making me blush again.

"What is it? You're freaking me out."

She laughs and moves a strand of hair out of my face giving me this, look.

Her eyes have this dreamy feel to them and I can't seem to look away.

"I love you ash. You're very special to me and I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you. That's why I'm always trying to protect you. I just don't want to not be there if something happens, ya know?"

I smile as and Lean up to kiss her cheek.

"I love you too babe. I'm fine though so don't worry so much."

I playfully push her back so that I can close my door.

"And get off my car! You're gonna get your germs on it or something."

She laughs and hops onto her bike.

"Alright alright I'll leave you alone."

She puts on her helmet and makes a heart symbol with her hands before waving and speeding off.

I shake my head as I watch her disappear around a corner and drive home, unable to get the smile off of my face.