Chapter 4 Painful sex

JACKSON'S POV

I scared her away, didn't I? What the fûck is wrong with me? How, in God's name, did it get to this extent? I have always avoided it until her! Why would she come in at that time? And now I can't get enough of her! Damnit, I am doomed!!

I hit the wall until my knuckles bled. This is exactly how I scared my wife away!

"Haven't I done well by avoiding that gender, especially her type, for five years? I have taken care of it on my own until she appeared from nowhere at that tempting time!!"

I was even scared of myself and what I could do if I avoided my own mother and sister! How can I get so obsessed with sex? And why the fûck is she like an addiction to me? Even my wife... no, my ex-wife wasn't into my system like that.

Was it the way she looked at me pitifully? No, I don't need her or anyone pitying me! Was it about the way her soft palms tended to me with so much care and desire? Oh fuck it, I don't need anyone caring about me because they will always get away when they see who I truly am.

Has it to do with the way she responded to me so quickly and... no way! I don't need her! I don't know anything about her and I don't care to know!! I need to just go home, take a few control pills, and help myself, and everything will be fine again.

I hurriedly left the hotel to my car and drove home as if I were being given a hot chase by the cops. Immediately I parked my car in front of my house, I jumped down and ran inside.

"Dad! You are back?" My son, Tim rushed towards me for a hug, but I dodged him and ran straight upstairs to my private bathroom.

I know how he must be feeling and wondering what was wrong with me, but I know I can easily get his mind off it.

For a brief introduction. My name is Jackson Taylor Anderson. I am the father of a five-year-old boy, Timothy. I was married, a very complicated relationship that ended in a complicated way at a complicated time because of a complicated situation. My life itself is complicated!

I am 36 years old and a successful CEO of a clothes and diaper manufacturing company. J. T. C was my beginning, the only dream I have ever had that came through and the life I want...if not for this...

Getting into my bathroom, I locked the door and tore my clothes off. I turned on the tap and the shower, filled the bathtub, and dipped myself into it.

I got everything my hand could touch...soap, oil, whatever at all, and rubbed it on my dîck. I stroked myself and tried to get it right so I would calm down, but for the first time, I couldn't control my libido.

"Dad?!"

I heard my son's voice calling me. I forced myself to quit grunting so loud that he would hear. The tap was running, but I was afraid he would hear me and become more worried.

I never want anything to deviate his mind from his studies or from having positive thoughts because he has a demon as a father. His mother walked out of his life without turning back because of me, the only thing I can do to help him is keep him out of my messed up life.

With clenched teeth, I turned the water off and told him to go either to bed, watch TV, or read his books, that I was only stressed out by work and I needed to dip myself in cold water for the time being.

"The doctor says it's good for calming nerves!" I added.

"Oh, okay. I will go upstairs to my room if you are fine." I heard him say and his footsteps as he walked away.

I blew out a breath and turned the water on again. I continued what I was doing...

It persisted. I called the doctor and he said he was out of town and would only get in touch in ten days. He advised me to try other medicine or go to a club and get myself a slût and fûck all night.

Taking random women, as Vera said, isn't something I do; I'm a one-woman kind of man. Yeah, I had a girlfriend in high school and then another in college; we graduated together and got married. Just two women have been in my life apart from my mother.

I almost took an overdose of the pills he prescribed days ago, but that didn't work either. I left for the club around eleven in the night. Some strippers gave me lap dances, and I thought it would ease my erotism, but it worsened it, and I got angry and howled at them.

They looked at me as if I was a weirdo and left me. I consumed more and more alcohol until I became wasted...

...

"Dad? Dad! Dad?!!"

A tiny voice woke me up. I opened my eyes as sunlight directly peeked into it. I didn't know it was morning and I didn't make it to my room last night. I had laid down on the stairs. My body ached as a result of the discomfort.

I stood up and staggered into the bathroom for a quick shower as I got ready for work. I apologized to my son for being such a bad father. I dropped him off at school on my way to work. Morning lectures must've started because it was hard for me to get him ready for school.

It was for this same reason that I refused to have female workers. I had dismissed my housekeeper who was his nanny. She was older than me and married. I avoided mistakes at all costs until yesterday.

I understood I had really scared Vera away when I stayed at work till noon and I didn't see her. I asked Mrs. Biggs for her resident information.

The woman was surprised because I never asked about my workers' details, but she gave it to me without any questions.

She only asked me what happened yesterday when she didn't make it to work when it was supposed to be her second day at work; I told her that I didn't know.

"Maybe she fell ill or something... I will check up on her when..."

"No, don't worry. I'm going out now to check up on someone, I will see if I can get to see her. Thank you. You are free to go now." I sent the woman off.

I know she found it strange coming from me, but I didn't care; I know how weird I sounded, too.