Chapter 7 Chris Donovan vs. Shane Lewis~ There's no love like the first... Despair!

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"You sure you're okay, son?" Sylvia Lewis asked her son. Shane only called that late when he was troubled.

"I'm fine, Ma," Shane said quietly. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Shane..."

"Can't I call my mother?" Shane laughed softly.

"You know you can, hon. It's just that I know my son." Sylvia sounded worried.

"Now you're making me regret calling you." Shane gave a deep sigh.

"The nightmares..."

"Ma." Shane groaned. "You know those can never stop."

"Have you considered seeing a doctor like I've been suggesting all these years?"

Shane went quiet for a moment. "I'll think about it."

Sylvia Lewis covered her mouth so that her son wouldn't hear her gasp. "Thank you," Sylvia said quietly. Shane had never told her he would think about seeing a shrink no matter how much she had nagged. All he always did was brush her suggestion aside. For Shane to actually say he was going to think about it meant something must be terribly wrong, Sylvia Lewis thought tensely. But she didn't want to push her son. She knew he would tell her what the problem was when he was ready. The mere fact that he was willing to think about seeing a shrink was okay with Sylvia. God knew her son needed help. "Are we still on for the visit next month? I need to see my baby." She said softly.

"No force on this earth can stop me from coming, Mrs. Lewis," Shane said with a chuckle, making his mother burst into laughter.

"You make it sound as though I'm your wife, you crazy boy. I spoke with Adele this morning. That girl is something else."

Shane laughed too. "Tell me about it." He felt better already. But then, he always felt better no matter what, when he spoke to his mother. "I'll talk to you on Sunday, Ma."

"Okay, hon," Sylvia said softly.

"Take good care of yourself okay?"

"I always do. It's you I'm worried about."

"There's nothing to worry about. Say hi to everyone."

"Will do. Bye son."

"Bye Ma," Shane responded and hung up.

His mother lived in New York where she was busy with her charity work. She helped widows who were in need, to get back on their feet. Shane made sure his mother had enough funds to do whatever made her happy. Sylvia Lewis deserved to be happy after all the hardships they had gone through. She lived in a big house that he'd built for her, with two of her relatives and two ladies who took care of the housework. Of course, his mother had maximum security, which she didn't think was important anyway.

But Shane had insisted, telling his mother he would sleep better at night knowing she was safe. Who would even want to harm such a sweet person anyway, Shane smiled. But he didn't want to take any chances. People could act crazy. His mother, bless her heart, always had people over in the house simply to give them hot meals so the house was always full anyway. It made her happy and that was all that mattered to Shane.

Shane left his study for his bedroom with a smile on his face. Talking to his mother always made him smile. He had totally forgotten about his problems till his eyes fell on the framed drawing of himself on his bedside table. He stared at the framed picture. Chris! Shane remembered that drawing as if it had been drawn the very day before. He remembered clearly the look on Chris' face as he drew that picture of him, years ago.

Chris had actually grinned the whole time because of how Shane had posed. The smile on Shane's own face said it all...he had been very happy. If only he had kept his hands to himself, Shane thought dejectedly as he reached out to pick up the frame. After staring at it for a while, he placed it face down on the side table.

That drawing had helped Shane over the years. He'd had nightmares every night since that fateful night. In fact, he was used to them as they had become part of his nightly routine. He could remember all those times his mother had had to soothe him throughout the night. He'd had to live off-campus when he went to college because he didn't want to become a laughing stock because of his nightly screams. The advantage of living alone was that no one would witness his shame.

His dreams were always different but they always ended in the same way...with Chris Donovan trying to kill him. Whenever he came awake and saw that picture of himself, the bad dreams just faded away because somehow, he convinced himself that a monster wouldn't make him look so happy as he was in that drawing. After he'd convinced himself, whilst looking at that drawing the whole time...that Chris was no monster, he would go right back to sleep.

His mother's suggestion that he consult a shrink was gradually looking very attractive because for the past two days since seeing Chris, Shane's dreams had become even scarier. He'd woken up drenched in sweat and breathing harshly in the past two nights because in his dreams, he couldn't breathe. As if that wasn't enough, Chris had to show up in his office that afternoon. What the fuck had the man been thinking, Shane asked himself for the umpteenth time.

That he would welcome him with open arms like an old friend? He'd fucked up his life for fuck's sake. He couldn't even enter into a relationship for fear of scaring people off with his constant nightmares. How many grown men woke up to their own screams every night? As for sexual preference, Shane had never looked twice at another male since that fateful night. Once bitten twice shy, right?

Shane went to take a shower and went to lie in bed. He knew sleep was not going to come anytime soon so he just stared at the ceiling, thinking about the look on Chris' face when he'd ordered him out of his office that afternoon. He'd never felt so much anger like he had that afternoon. The impudence! Was Chris for real? But then he'd always been daring even when they were kids. And it had been one of the many things Shane had admired about him. Shane groaned, knowing that the last thing he should be doing was thinking about things he admired about Chris. He knew he had to focus on the problem at hand instead.

For some reason, no matter how much he'd hated what Chris had done to him, Shane couldn't bring himself to hate Chris. He had never wished for anything bad to happen to Shane. He just never wanted to ever be anywhere near Chris that was all. Shane hoped Chris wouldn't make the mistake of coming near him again because he seriously didn't want his already fucked up brain to get even more fucked up. He would try and endure it if he had to be in the same room with Chris if it was for business, but nothing more.

Shane eventually drifted off to sleep only to wake up about twenty minutes later, gasping for breath. This time Shane didn't reach for the framed drawing. He left his bed and went into his study to work. It looked like even after all the years, Chris Donovan had the power to make his life hell.

Shit!