Chapter 8 Oliver Bennett vs. Adrian Graham Unquenchable lust...coming clean!

***

"What?" It was a whisper. Adrian looked as white as sheet.

"For the past...two months, you've been mentioning that name in your sleep. Initially, I thought nothing of it but then it became frequent. You mention that name almost every night. I don't usually sleep much at night thanks to all the sleep I have during the day. I can see the change in you, Aid. I know you've been worried sick but there's this...joy...contentment...positive energy around you. You know I've always been able to read you like a book. I just know you've met someone and that person makes you happy. I've waited for you to tell me but you've said nothing. Adrian you know I'll be the last person to condemn you if you decide to be with someone. I must admit it was a little shocking to know you liked a guy but hey...at least I don't have to compete with a chic." She laughed softly. "Hey snap out of it." She shook Adrian. "I'm not angry. Well, maybe just a little bit that you didn't trust me enough to tell me."

"Donna..." Adrian couldn't recognize his own voice. He didn't even know what to say.

"There was a day about three months ago when you came home looking completely devastated." She said softly. "The guilt on your face. Christ! I just knew. There were moments I thought you were going to tell me but you always chickened out. I wanted to ask you then but I knew asking you would worsen it for you. Why do you put yourself through so much unnecessary torture? You know me. And you know where I stand on this. And it hurts that you couldn't confide in me. Have I ever given you cause to be wary of me?"

"Oh my God, I'm sorry Donna." Adrian groaned. "I just couldn't bring myself to..."

"Who is he?"

Adrian swallowed and cleared his throat. "He's the guy who came to install the new software. We just hang out sometimes." It was the truth. "I...I like him." Adrian placed his hands in his lap and stared at his fingers.

"You more than like him, Adrian." Donna chuckled. "For the past month, you've been saying you love him in your sleep."

"Oh fuck." Adrian gasped. "I don't love..."

"Shhh...you totally do darling. You're head over heels in love with the guy. You're a doctor. You know how the subconscious works. It brings out what your mind and heart try to suppress or hide. Does he love you, Adrian?"

"I don't know." He whispered. His fingers were shaking so bad.

Donna entwined her fingers with Adrian's and squeezed it as tightly as she could. "Tell me exactly how you feel about him. And don't bother lying 'cause I'll know." Her eyes were so soft and encouraging Adrian found himself telling her what he hadn't been able to put into words himself.

"I don't know how to describe it, Donna. I..." He took a deep breath. "When I'm with him, I'm happy. I can't imagine not being with him." The words tore out of Adrian. "It's... There's this feeling I get in my stomach that's unexplainable whenever I think of him. I more than like him I guess..." He shrugged, clamping his mouth shut because he really didn't want to tell Donna that he sometimes felt like the luckiest person in the world for having Oliver in his life. Though that was exactly how he felt, he thought it would rather be insensitive to tell his sick wife that. After all, she didn't have Oliver in her life. "I just can't get him out of my mind, Donna."

"If you can't get someone off your mind, they are probably supposed to be there," Donna said softly. "Don't even bother trying."

"Yeah but...he's a guy, Don." Adrian breathed. "I don't swing that way and you know it." He gave a humourless chuckle. "But Oliver... it just happened. I knew I shouldn't. I tried hard to fight my feelings, but I just couldn't. Fuck!"

"Hey, relax," Donna whispered, squeezing Adrian's hand. "Love doesn't mind the sex of a person. You love him. That's all that matters. You never lose by loving, Aid. You rather lose by holding back." She said, and then grinned.

Adrian raised an eyebrow when he saw his wife's grin. "What?"

"Just...trying to picture you with a guy that's all." Donna managed to look amused, curious, and excited at the same time. She couldn't suppress her laughter when Adrian groaned. "Seriously Aid, you have to tell me exactly how it started. At what point did you realize you had the hots for him? Did you freak out? Come on, tell me everything. I've been going crazy for months trying to imagine your reaction when you realized you were attracted to a guy. Please tell me."

"Donna..."

"Ow come on. Please. I mean I know I've probably put you off women but... Unless of course, he's a... Is he a queen?" She gushed with wide eyes.

"No, no he's an ordinary guy." Adrian sighed. He knew Donna wouldn't let up till he told her what she wanted to know. She'd taken the shot to ensure she stayed alert for all the deets too. "Very handsome guy." He added with a shy smile.

"Okay, how did you react when it dawned on you that you wanted him? How did both of you react? Who made the first move?"

"You're not going to let this go are you?" At Donna's 'not on your life' look, Adrian leaned the back of his head against the wall and mumbled something unintelligible. His relationship with Donna had always been more of friendship. And as friends, Donna was very easy to talk to. "Okay so... Oliver is your normal sweet...nerd who I began hanging out with after work." Adrian began. "I enjoyed his company very much. Admittedly, I thought he was adorable and handsome but I'd never thought about us in that way."

"What way?"

"Do you want me to continue or not?" He growled, shaking his head when Donna mumbled a sorry whilst trying not to laugh. "Then one evening, after we'd had dinner in my office, we just...fuck!" Adrian swore. "It was insane the way it happened, Donna. It wasn't planned. We hadn't been giving each other any longing looks or anything like that. He knew I was married with kids. I saw him as a friend. But that night I don't know what happened. We...kissed. And I felt this bolt of electricity course through me. I just couldn't help myself, Don. It was terrifying but it was wonderful." Adrian whispered the last sentence. "Even afterward, I tried to tell myself he was only a friend and nothing else but deep down, I knew it was a lie. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She said softly. "At least now you can accept the fact that Oliver is not just a friend. Neither is he just a fuck buddy." Donna saw Adrian wince at her words and grinned. "I think it's beautiful. I want to meet him, Adrian."