Chapter 4 The Dress

Gabriella sat in the back of the taxicab on her way home to the penthouse from the dress shop. Laura had met her there and they had parted ways after several hours of searching for the perfect dress. Gabriella had chosen a simple but elegant wedding dress. It was a feminine A-line satin long sleeved minimalist bridal gown.

It cost more than her apartment and belongings combined and the thought of purchasing it had made her feel ill to her stomach. This dress would perfectly cover the scars on her wrists that marred her once perfect bronze skin. Gabriella pulled back the long sleeve of her shirt to reveal the imperfections to herself. How could anyone love her when she was so very broken.

The taxi stopped in front of the doors to the penthouse. She pulled her sleeves back down and clutched the box with her bridal gown in it tightly to her chest as she climbed out of the car. The driver cleared his throat before Gabriella could close the door. Her eyes went wide as she dug through her purse for the credit card that Alexander had gifted to her.

She handed the card to the man, and he swiped it before handing it back to her. The driver then rolled away as Gabriella made her way to the front steps to the building, she now called home.

"Stop right there, ma'am." One of the men at the doors said to her. "You clearly don't belong here. Please leave the premises or I will be forced to have you escorted away."

Gabriella frowned as she juggled the tiny purse and the box in her arms. She needed to find Alexander's business card so she could go in, but no matter how many times she went through her clutch purse, it wasn't inside.

"I can't find my card. I know I just had it." She muttered, feeling flustered.

"Ma'am, I must ask you to leave. We can't have you blocking the doorway."

Gabriella could feel tears stinging at her eyes as she moved away from the doors and down the street. She didn't have a phone or way to get in touch with Mr. Alexander nor Laura. She shook her head, feeling like a complete fool as she began to cry in the middle of the sidewalk.

She barely made it halfway past the building when a familiar voice ran out disapprovingly.

"You would really turn away my fiancée at the doors to her own home?" It was Alexander. Gabriella turned to face the doors.

"Your fiancée?" The man said sounding embarrassed. "My apologies ma'am, I did not recognize you. Please head on inside."

Gabriella sniffled as she snapped clutch purse shut and swiped at her eyes, careful to avoid smudging her makeup. She stepped awkwardly up to Alexander and delicately placed her hand on his outstretched arm. She walked with him up to the elevator and up to the penthouse.

She wasn't sure she would ever grow accustomed to taking the elevator to the top floor, nor to being so high up above the city, but already she felt more relaxed as they climbed out of the lift and into the home.

"Come to see me in the dining room after you have put away your things." Alexander said.

"Thank you, Mr. Alexander." She said.

Gabriella put the boxed dress in her room and made her way back into the dining room. Alexander pulled out a chair for her to take a seat on and she smiled politely at him as she sat down.

"I have decided that you must be able to be reached," he said, frowning. He then slid a paper bag over to Gabriella. "This is a mobile phone for you. It has my number and Laura's number programmed into it already. I suggest you use it only for that and avoid using it for personal calls."

"I do not have anyone else I need to contact." She said with a frown.

"I am merely letting you know that it is for business only. I can purchase you another one for private uses if you so desire." He then moved to stand from his seat and stepped towards his office. He paused in the doorway. "I have taken the liberty of having your clothes brought here from your apartment and had the place cleaned out. You'll find all your belongings in your bedroom or office at your leisure." He then stepped into the office and closed the door behind him with a resounding click.

Gabriella grabbed the paper bag and made her way back into her bedroom. She put the bag on the bed and undid the ribbon and unboxed the elegant dress she would wear for her wedding to Alexander. She carefully picked up the cloth by the shoulders and pulled it free of the cardboard. She then moved to stand in front of the wardrobe mirror with the dress in front of her. She didn't love it, but what choice did she have? She didn't love her fiancé, nor did she love anything about her situation. The wedding would be in six days, and she hardly knew anything about the man with whom she was living with.

"None of those things matter, Gabriella." She whispered to her reflection as she put the dress on a hanger and threw it into the closet. She stared at herself in the mirror. "Get ahold of yourself and forget about finding happiness here." She tore back her sleeve and took in the sight of the fresh scabs on her wrists. "Girls that hate themselves can never be loved." She then sniffled as she bit back tears.

You'd be better off dead.

"Shut up shut up shut up!" She cried as tears began to fall down her cheeks. She grabbed handfuls of her long hair and pulled on them tightly, trying to silence the voice that always called out to her when she least needed it.

She glared at the mirror, scowling at the mess she could see of her reflection. She then lashed out, punching the mirror. It shattered and the sound of broken glass showering the hard floor like tiny drops of glass rain filled the room. Pain. It always made the voices stop. She stared down at the sight of her bloodied fist. At least her mind was finally at peace.