Chapter 3 Good Night, I Love You

Serenity headed straight to the kitchen when she got downstairs. The two coolers they had brought were sitting on the kitchen floor.

Serenity opened up the first cooler and grabbed each of them a cold drink. There were only drinks in the first cooler so she closed the top and headed to the second cooler as Kristoff walked into the kitchen.

"Do you want me to fix you a sandwich or would you prefer me to heat you up a can of soup?" Serenity asked.

Kristoff had been spoiled by Serenity almost since day one. She had always cooked homemade meals for her children daily when they were growing up and Kristoff had gotten used to Serenity taking good care of him, too.

"What else do we have?" Kristoff asked. He had been picky about what he wanted to eat since Serenity had met him. Not that he was completely picky about foods, but he would eat a food every day for a week and then wouldn't touch it again for months.

Serenity rolled here eyes and thought to herself, 'We're not going to do this here and now, are we?' She then started rattling off the list of foods they had brought with them in the cooler and the food in the 2 boxes of dry goods. "We have blocks of cheese, meat sticks, milk for cereal, eggs, boxed mac and cheese, cans of tuna..." She kept going on for several minutes as she dug through the boxes.

"I guess a sandwich will be okay. What do we have to eat with it?" Kristoff asked.

"We have chips or you can eat some of the fruit I brought for myself. We have grapes, bananas, apples, watermelon," Serenity started.

"Watermelon! I'll have watermelon and a few chips," Kristoff interrupted.

Serenity started working on making a few sandwiches and put them on the paper plates they had brought with. Kristoff had already found the bag of chips and was munching on them as she made the sandwiches. By the time Serenity had the sandwiches made and they sat down at the small table the previous owner had left in the kitchen, they both started feeling an overwhelming feeling of exhaustion.

Kristoff finished off his sandwich first and headed into the bedroom to start setting up a bed for them to sleep on. By the time Serenity finished her food and got into the bedroom, Kristoff already had the air mattress inflated and was fighting to put a fitted sheet on it.

"Here, let me help," Serenity said as she grabbed one corner of the sheet and started to instruct Kristoff on how to get the sheet on one corner without the opposite side pulling off. After 10 minutes, the entire bed was made and ready to sleep on.

Since the bed was ready, the two of them started changing clothes and getting ready for bed. Kristoff finished first and climbed into the bed and pulled the blanket up to his shoulders. Serenity finished, turned off the light and climbed into bed and curled up beside Kristoff. A few seconds later Serenity quietly said, "Good night, I love you."

Serenity was met with silence. She listened for the deep breathing that was the tell tale sign that Kristoff was asleep already, but it wasn't there. She laid there awake and wondered, 'Why did he ignore me and not return the sentiment?' He knew that it was important to her that, no matter what the day had consisted of, you should always end the night by speaking your love.

Even if you had been angry or frustrated at your partner that day. Even if something happened that left you hurt. If it's true, you lose nothing to either reassure your partner that you love them. No matter if you had the best day ever or the worst day ever. That thought put her mind in a tail spin as she started thinking about the last five years with Kristoff and even her life before him.

Serenity had tried to deal with Kristoff's coldness and aloof personality shortly after meeting him. In the first few months, Kristoff worked hard to be affectionate towards Serenity. Sending texts messages back and forth during the work day. Showing happiness when she found time to spend with him in the evenings and on weekends. Taking her to different places so she could see new things... A lake that frequented as a child, the house he lived in when he became and adult and moved out on his own, small towns that she had never been to. It made her feel very special and important to her that he was sharing all of these things. But she soon noticed that he had only held her hand once when they had walked along the beach. His legs would often have him walking strides ahead of her short legs when they went into stores and other places. She had actually had to say something about how it seemed that he didn't want to be seen in public with her before he stopped doing it.

He initially had a habit of making plans at specific times with Serenity but would be hanging out when the time came and just not leave his friends when the planned time came. Instead, Serenity would be sitting, waiting to hear from Kristoff. Kristoff would tell her it was no big deal, that he wasn't always going to come home at a specified time. Serenity had broke the relationship off only 3 months in.

Serenity was born with a strong personality, determined and stubborn. After all, every adult that had witnessed her earliest years had stories to tell. Not that Serenity had been a bad child, she just did what Serenity wanted rather than what she was instructed to do by adults. She had her own thoughts and made her own choices and she stood by them. She also had lived through a childhood that may have further developed the strength of her person. She had normal, happy childhood memories such as time spent with her best friend Margie who lived around the corner and spending weekends at her grandmas house, making Christmas candy with her mom. But she also had a number of memories that would haunt her for her entire life. Those were the things that took Serenity's natural strength and determination to a whole new level for much of her life. Those were the early lessons that taught her that there were some things that she just wouldn't put up with. Being blown and and treated as if she was unimportant was something she would not accept.

Kristoff had slowly come back around and wanted to fix things with Serenity. Though she could be stubborn and hard to deal with, the time spent with her was great. They shared some odd interests like both loved to grow a garden, both were serious about having their lawns wonderfully landscaped, they enjoyed going to the fruit farms to pick strawberries, blueberries and whatever else was in season. And they both liked to recreate the practices they had grown up with of canning vegetables and making jams. Serenity was a natural care taker, and although she still had two children in high school and he had none, she easily was able to keep everyone taken care of. Though he had lived more of a wild and free life of hanging out and running, spending all his time having a good time, it seemed like a great thing to have a woman who was more family and home rooted than partying and having fun. It would be a difficult change for Kristoff as he had been living free for years, despite other relationships, but he put in effort to slowly make changes over the time.

Serenity allowed him the opportunity to make changes while keeping her distance back in the beginning. She was enthralled with the man that was very unique from others. She had never met a man in her life that enjoyed the same boring things as she did. But she was solid in her beliefs in how life should be and what she was willing to put up with. She was 40 years old then and over the years had been very decisive in figuring out life for herself.

Over the years that followed, they would both make changes and adjust to the other but it was a slow and difficult process. There were some things that Serenity just chalked up to showing respect for your partner and she was relentless with expecting them to be met. She didn't think they were that far fetched. Coming home when you say you are, letting your partner know where you were going when you took off and approximately when you would return, not having friends of the opposite sex constantly at your home while the other was away, always putting your partners needs and feelings first, as long as they were reasonable. Kristoff had spent so much of his life running wild and free, even during other relationships, that he found what she thought were simple rules of respect seemed very difficult.

Serenity gave Kristoff a lot of credit for making adjustments for the relationship. She knew how hard making changes could be. And she was aware of how difficult it could be to live up to her standards. But there were also those few nagging things that still seemed to cause problems every now and again that Serenity wasn't willing to accept. Serenity was gone over 11 hours every day to a high stress job with her commute. She would come home exhausted and still put in the effort to keep both households in order and keep them all fed and taken care of. Kristoff failed to notice her exhaustion and how hard she tried to keep up with everything. Occasionally he would become irritated with her coming home 'angry' and would ending up saying something that would spark a fight. In the end, Serenity would often try to explain her behavior as a result of being exhausted, having a lot on her mind, or just trying to get everything taken care of before she collapsed from exhaustion. Kristoff struggled to see how exhausted and overwhelmed she often was and that left Serenity often feeling unappreciated and misunderstood.

In addition to that, over the years Serenity had tried to talk about 'their' future with Kristoff. Serenity had always had the maximum control over her own life and made plans so that she could work towards her goals with a set end result. Kristoff struggled to make plans as he always expected them to fail and wanted to avoid the disappointment. This caused a rift between the two as Serenity often felt as though Kristoff couldn't see her in his life long term. Many arguments were caused by Serenity trying to address which direction they would go with the future. Eventually Serenity started working towards her own dreams and could only hope that Kristoff would agree as they came about. This new house was one of those things that Serenity had planned on her own and Serenity had doubts that Kristoff really wanted it. She had tried to include him in all of her decisions but when the conversations came up, he would simply either agree or decline. He would never put in his own thoughts on what he hoped to see in the future. Because of that, Serenity always felt as if she was one decision away from the relationship ending. She felt she couldn't spend her whole life sitting idle, waiting for Kristoff to come around. And so she didn't.

A million thoughts swirled through Serenity's head as she struggled to find sleep. Three hours later, Serenity finally dozed off while wondering if buying this home had been the correct decision or if this would be the final straw in an almost failed relationship with Kristoff.