Chapter 4 No.4

After ten minutes, Solomon came back to retrieve Alastor like he promised prior. I know he would've jumped in after five minutes like he initially told us, but I guess he felt like Alastor and I needed another five.

And damn, do we need another five hundred more?

There were so many questions, feelings, and words to be exchanged that we cannot do all in ten minutes. It was as if we both know we need both our lifetimes combined to even get to the point of accomplishing those things.

Or to even get to the point of actually understanding the answers to those questions. Questions like: why didn't he reject me?

"Oh, don't miss him too much, Phoebe," Deimos patted the top of my head with a teasing smile on his face and a glint of mischief in his eyes, "He did say he'll be back tomorrow."

I swatted his hand away with my right arm, making sure to not have any more unnecessary actions than that. Persephone, Eris' and Kratos' daughter, is sleeping against my chest, held by a strong left arm.

And we would rather not want her to wake up at this hour of the night. Or else Deimos and I would end up staying up all night while we start to question our life choices.

"He will?" I asked Deimos as he nestled comfortably in the bed on my right, "He said that?"

"Well, you would've heard him say that if you actually listened to him, than stare up at him with those dreamy eyes. As if you've been planning your mating ceremony already."

"I was not," I hissed, then looked away. I murmured, "He was the one who gave me the mental images of a mating ceremony."

Deimos gave me a sideways glance, "Look at you, getting all soft after meeting your mate," I hit his forehead with the back of my hand, "Hey!"

"Shh!" I immediately shushed him, then pointed at Persephone as she snuggled closer to my chest, "You'll wake up the devil."

Eris, don't bless her soul because I hate her, died during the first rogue attack in our pack. It was understandable, since she was in a horrible state after giving birth to this little devil, Persephone. So basically, she can't defend herself so she can't live any longer.

Thank, Goddess, I've lived my life enough to witness that.

But I guess I have lived too much to end up being stuck with her child. Should've died after Eris did, so I wouldn't have ended up with this despicable creature who cries loudly at night as if her main agenda is to keep the whole pack awake.

To top it all off, Persephone can't sleep if it's not against my chest. Or at least we have to have some sort of physical connection. So as much as I hate her, if I want to have my sleep, I'll let her sleep while cradling her. Then I'll let her go afterwards.

Good thing she can sleep after thirty minutes, because my tolerance isn't longer than that. Any longer than thirty minutes, and I'll throw her out the window.

Although I am thankful for Alpha Dionysus to take us all in and provide us a house, I feel like my anger is contained in this house. It is small, afterall, since we all had to pair up and share rooms. And sooner or later, it will all blow up.

With Kratos, Zeus, Zelos, and Persephone with me in one house, I have to be a saint to actually not have any thoughts of killing at least one of them. And believe me, I've always thought of starting up with Persephone.

"Aw, she likes you," Dione cooed while looking at the baby and clapping her hands.

But every time I tried to rid of this good for nothing daughter of Kratos, who is also good for nothing, Dione comes into my mind. The memories of her, and her words would start hitting me like a tidal wave. And it would soften my anger until it vanishes. And then I wouldn't feel like killing the baby anymore.

It was as if every time, Dione keeps reminding me that she wants Persephone alive. Because it's not the pup's fault. The pup didn't choose to be born. That if I was to be angry, it should be towards her parents.

And since one died, that leaves Kratos. And if I can't even beat up Zelos properly, how could I kill an alpha? So I guess I settled into the lesser strength, which was his pup. Maybe that would hurt Kratos.

But I doubt it. He doesn't want anything to do with his own daughter. He can't even look at her. Maybe because Persephone is starting to become Kratos' living mirror, which makes it painful for him to see her.

Persephone looked like Eris at first, but as time went by, she started to look like Kratos. And he always stiffens at the presence of her. I bet if I killed the pup, he wouldn't even mind.

But Dione would. And Deimos would.

"Let me get Persephone," Deimos mutters before he started to get the baby from me. I didn't even stop him. Heck, if he started throwing the baby, I wouldn't have stopped him either.

He started to cradle the baby against his own arms, trying his best not to wake her up. Not having enough kindness in me to watch Persephone any longer than I needed to be, I turned my back on Deimos.

Nestling on my bed, I started to get comfortable to get a good night's sleep. I whispered, "You know, our lives would be easier if we rid of that thing."

"Well, this thing is a pup. With an alpha blood at that. Are you insane?" Deimos answered in a hushed tone as I felt him get out of bed to put the pup in her crib before we could both sleep.

"Well, keeping that thing is insane," I answered back in a hushed tone, but I was starting to heat up in irritation, "Would you have killed her if she was an omega then?"

"Phoebe, we've had this talk for weeks now," Deimos answered back as I felt the bed dipped on his weight when he got back in, "It isn't the pup's fault. She didn't kill Dione."

"And we'll have this talk for years, and I still won't want that thing," I snapped, "Persephone will be the death of me. I feel like if I have to stay with her a little longer, I would just claw her dead."

"So I'll do anything in my power for you not to cry again," I looked down at the pup in my hands, "Even if it means killing the persons behind your tears."

I closed my eyes shut, as memories of Dione can't seem to leave me alone tonight. Like all the other nights before this, and the other nights before that, too. I know I want her to stay by my side, even when it's physically impossible.

But if she stays in my mind like this, I swear I would end up being crazy.

"Did you just call me an idiot?"

I sighed, looking frustrated, "Yes, I did. You're an idiot. Now, if you don't want to be an idiot without your limbs, get out of this house now!"

But memories of her, although I cherish all of them, seem to be taunting me. Mocking me. As if I've been nothing but a liar. That I'm all talk. That I'm not a real friend. Because if I was, I wouldn't have let her die in front of me.

So if I couldn't keep my promise to keep her safe, the least I can do is kill for her. Kill everyone that has hurt her. Every rogue that was still alive from that attack. That's the only way.

"Hey," I felt Deimos' concern through that one word alone. He grabbed me by my shoulders so I could look at him, "You're doing it again. Snap out of it."

"Dione," I blinked, "I have to avenge Dione soon, Deimos. This training... everything is taking too much time."

Worry flashed Deimos' eyes, before he reached out to cup my face securely with both his hands, "Phoebe, calm down. I need you to calm down."

"I am calm!" I snapped.

And then Persephone started to stir in her sleep on the crib. Deimos and I watched as her facial expression started to morph into that of a really displeased pup. Seconds later, Persephone started crying with her limbs flailing everywhere.

"Fuck that pup! Why can't she shut the fuck up!" My voice started to rise as much as Persephone's cries started to get louder. But Deimos wasn't getting his attention away from me, "Make the pup stop, Deimos, or I will."

"Phoebe, sweetheart, calm down," Deimos soothed, taking his right hand away from my face, and reaching for my hands, "Don't do this again."

I felt it. I felt his cold hand reach towards mine. I didn't even know I was harshly scratching my left palm with my nails on my right hand. Some parts of my palm were raw, but I definitely wounded myself. It wasn't fatal, but it was still surprising how I did that without me noticing.

For weeks, I've been doing this without noticing. Deimos always made sure to cut my nails when he found out I scratch myself until I bleed. He always says it was so I wouldn't scratch anyone in the circle during practice. But I don't think that's his actual reason.

"Phoebe, sweetheart, come on," Deimos continued soothing me in a calm voice, just as he continued separating both my hands, "I'm here, okay? We'll find a way. We'll talk to Kratos. It's time he takes care of his pup."

At this point, Persephone started wailing loudly, that her voice started to ring on my ears. My attention immediately flew onto where she is, and I swear I see nothing but red. She'd have to shut up, or I'll make her.

But before I could do so, Deimos must've seen the look in my eyes. He started to hug me. With him on top of me, his heavy weight was keeping me grounded. And as a strong gamma, how could I, an omega, push him away?

"Faster, Zelos," I heard Deimos whisper against my ear. And it was too late before I realized what's happening.

Deimos mindlinked Zelos for help, as both were gammas. Zelos didn't even bother knocking. He went in, grabbed Persephone, and looked at me for a second. His eyes flashed guilt, like it did in the circle earlier. After that, he ran out with Persephone crying wildly against his chest.

Deimos kept us in our position for five minutes until he felt like I've calmed down. Or until I felt like killing Persephone shouldn't be as urgent as I felt like it did minutes ago.

When he's sure I wouldn't start scratching myself again, he pulled away, looked at me in the eyes, and cupped my face.

He looked at me with so much worry, "Where is Athena when you need her?" He whispered to himself. And it was a question I'm afraid I cannot answer.