Chapter 6 I'm Too Broke To Be Yours

ANDREW-

He was there, standing in front of me. Regretting his decisions. Probably trying to put his feelings into words. I was so broken when I saw him apologizing but I couldn't let my guard down. I won't fall for him, he can't have me around his finger.

This guy, now begging was once abusing me and I can't forgive him for that just by seeing him sad. He has to do way more than this. He said sorry, and started crying. I never thought a guy like him would cry. He was crying for me. He hugged me, I tried to resist for sometime but later gave in. I wanted to push him away, but didn't have the strength to do so.

He was literally there in my arms, crying, asking for forgiveness. I felt all weak in front of him. And he just blurted out, that he's going out of my life. I wanted this to happen, but when this was actually happening I felt so horrible. I don't want him to go.

He turned around away from me, but then soon hugged me again, this time I didn't bother pushing him back. I was feeling bad, I hate goodbyes. I want him to be here with me.

He again turned around and God knows what he was thinking that he couldn't see a huge wall in front of him. He collapsed. Do I have to handle a drunk Jake? Like the normal one wasn't crazy enough.

I ran towards him to check if he's had any injury or something, but thanks nothing sort of came out. Now the deal was to pick this huge guy up from the ground to the bed. He was few inches taller than me and definitely muscular.

His arms were clearly something one would stop and stare at them.

Okay! I can't pick him, I need to pull. So I dragged him like a sack of potatoes. God he's heavy.

"You're so fucking heavy Jake, wish you bumped into something which was near my bed." I said clearly tired from this workout at 3 or 4 in the morning.

"Here, push yourself up a little bit. You--" I said slowly putting him on the bed. And now this mother fucker was getting back his consciousness. Wow now? Of all time?

"Andrew?" He said, slowly opening his eyes.

"Yes! Andrew. Glad you are awake." i said mimicking him.

"Andrew is glad?" He said, smiling. No he's drunk. Oh man.

"No. I'm not glad at all." I said growling at him.

"Andrew is not glad?" Now he made a frowning face. I can't handle his tantrums.

"Do you mind if I take my shirt off, it got dirty while I climbed up here." He said unbuttoning his shirt.

"God! No, you can't. Just put it back on." I tried to stop him by holding his hands. I could see his nipples and his chest all scratched into something. He probably got hurt while climbing. Why did he have to do this?

"Okay! Just, wait I'll bring some clothes for you." I said while going towards my closet. By the time I turned he was there lying throwing his bottoms off, his boxers were definitely saving him from being exposed.

"Andrew is bringing clothes." He said lying on my bed and was smiling vaguely.

"Here, don't wear them, yet. I need to put something on your wounds." I went inside the washroom and brought some antiseptics and bandage for cleaning his wounds.

"How did you climb up here? In this state of yours? Are you some sort of alien? Don't you feel pain?" I said, getting angry at him seeing him all hurt and wounded up.

"I can clearly handle this much pain for you Andy." he said and stroked my hair, what is he trying to do?

"No you shouldn't. Hurting yourself isn't the right thing to do." i said putting some sense into this drunkyard.

"You should've told me, I'd have hurt myself earlier, you got all worked up just by seeing these wounds." he said again and looked me in the eyes.

"Just, shut up and sit still." I said, realizing that I'm really getting all worked up, just because he his hurt.

I gently tried to clean his wounds. I had this full view of him lying naked on my bed. I was really controlling myself, because I wanted to kiss him. He looked so tempting. I moved eyes away from him, and started treating his wounds.

"Ow, you're.... do it gently, please." He said in pain.

"Oh! Sorry. I just..."

"You can't resist me? Can you?" He said smiling devilishly.

"What the hell are you talking about." I said imitating a punch in his direction.

"Apply it here." He took my hand and dragged it from top to bottom, below his belly button. Slowly guiding my hand to go downwards. I suddenly stopped him and got off from the bed.

"Uh! Wear your clothes, it's done." I said, he was lying on the bed, and wasn't able to move, perks of being drunk I guess. I pulled his upper body towards myself. His bare chest touched my torso, his hands curled up around my waist.

"You are giving me 'the home' vibes Andrew." He said, feeling pretty much comfortable around me. I didn't know what to say.

"H..... uh.... okay! Now wear something or..... you'll catch a cold." I said helping him put on one of my t shirt. And shorts. Now he was covered. Because I could barely hold myself.

"You can sleep here. I said," pointing out the bed for him.

"And you?"

"I'll sleep on that chair."

"No... we... can share the bed. I won't touch you." he said closing his eyes while joining his hands.

"Yeah! And I do believe you for sure." I said not believing him.

"I swear I'll lock my arms with my legs. I won't face you. I don't want to sleep alone." He said in a cute voice. Wow he's funny too.

"Uh.... no....."

"Please Andrew, I don't want to spend another night sleeping alone in darkness." he said and I got surprised as I never thought he would say something like this.

"O.. oh.. okay, but you don't get to touch me, or look at me. Okay?" I said

"Yeah! He said smiling." I slowly went near him, he faced his back towards me and I smiled.

I couldn't sleep for a while, when I saw him turning. He hugged me, buried his face in my chest. Wrapping his hands around me and sleeping like a baby.

"Such a clear definition of you not touching me." I said.

"I'm so sorry Andrew." He said in a sleepy voice. I thought I woke him up.

"Shh.... just go back to sleep." I said in a low voice, caressing his hair.

"I would never do that to you again." He said again, like he was dreaming or something.

"Okay. Go back to sleep now." I hugged him more tightly. And eventually smiled.

How a strong boy like him was looking so cute sleeping in my arms. That was probably the most happiest moment of mine with him. He's never done anything but hurting me. Now looking at him, how he was even asking for forgiveness in his dream. And looking all cute and cuddly. I could give anything just to stay in this moment for a while.

I couldn't sleep all night. I was staring at him, thinking if I should forgive him or not. I wanted to, and I almost did. But some part of me was really hurt. I guess I was falling for him. I wanted him to stay like this forever. I wanted him near me.

I was playing with his hair. Sometimes touching his eyelashes. Drawing his features in my mind. Looking at him with love in my eyes. And soon it was morning. I got up and went downstairs to go look at Jessie and also cook something for the three of us.

Jes was sleeping quietly like another version of Jake. I went to the kitchen, cooked some breakfast and went upstairs near Jake. The sunlight woke him up and I was in front of him.

"Morning, Mr. Drunk." I said, smiling at him.

"Uh! What am I doing here?" He said looking around. Trying to figure out where he was. He looked at his clothes. Which were slightly tight on him.

"You, barged in yesterday God knows why. And while leaving you bumped right into that wall." I said pointing out the wall and holding my laugh. But couldn't help it.

"So... we?"

"We?"

"We? Are on talking terms? What happened yesterday? How can you smile looking at me?" he said scratching his head in frustration trying to remember what happened last night.

"Uh......." I didn't know what to say. So I chose to keep quiet.

"Look I'm really sorry, I didn't know what I did, but I am leaving sorry for troubling you. I would return your clothes." He said leaving in a hurry.

"Oh! When did this guy come?" Jessie woke up. She blocked his way and started judging him with her eyes.

"Not him, Jessie." I said clearly telling her to stop looking at him all horny.

"Oh..... so? He is yo--"

"No. Shut up Jessie."

"Oh. Okay! Breakfast?"

"Yupp, its ready, come on downstairs." I said.

Y"ou should come too. Andrew is the star chef." Jessie said to Jake. He was all confused trying to figure out what code words we were using.

"No, I think I'm gonna go." Jake said.

"Listen, whatever problems we have, we'll figure it out, I guess. After last night I don't think I can really hate you. So I guess you can stop being an ass, and eat something." I said looking all cool.

"Oh.." he started to stutter.

"You'll probably regret if you say no." Jessie said, trying to embarrass me by calling me the star chef.

"Uh.. okay..." he said, while Jessie was pushing him towards the table.

"I guess he can walk Jes." I got a little irritated because I knew how Jessie was, and also how Jake is. They are both horny people, and now I'm too scared around them. Hope they won't eat each other.

We sat at the table, all three of us. I was looking at Jake who was looking somewhere, clearly avoiding me. And Jessie was also staring at him.

"Jes, the food is here. Not 'there'." I said, pointing out at her food and then at Jake. Jake smiled at me being all foolish.

"You don't get to laugh." I said to Jake in an irritated voice.

"So? Jake? What time did you arrive?" Jessie said eating her food. And Jake choked on his food.

"Uh.... uh.. I.." he started to stutter.

"He forgot his textbook in my bag, so he came to take it back. But it was so late I told him to stay the night." I said without hesitating.

"Yeah.. yeah.. I believe you." Jessie said in a sarcastic voice. God I'm embarrassed.

"Forget your notebook often, maybe you'll find something else here too." She said again being all "Jessie jessie".

"Can you please just go back to your room? Don't you have a school to go to?" I said frowning.

"Don't you have a school to go to?" Jessie said teasing me while standing up. I suddenly stood up and ran after her, we were playing cat and mouse. Jake was looking at us. Laughing at us. We both got tired and sat back on the dining table.

Jake poured a glass of water and gave it to me.

I looked at him in the eyes for straight 5 minutes, I knew that I don't hate him. I forgave him. I didn't hold any grudges around him. Maybe he is really apologetic for what he's done. And I was willing to forgive him.

"Oooooh.... I'm going." Jessie said in a creepy voice. God I hate her.

"Nice to meet you Jake. I guess I'm gonna go now, or else he'll eat me." She said again pointing out at me.

"It was nice to meet you too." He said giving her a smile. She ran upstairs, i was at ease as she wasn't talking bout what happened last night, probably because of Jake's presence.

"I guess I'm gonna go too." He started to pick his wallet and stuff from the table.

"No..." I said.

"Uh? No? I need to go. I am afraid I can't see you anymore. I'm so sor--" he said and I interrupted.

"Look Jake, I've seen you regret doing that. And I don't think I hate you. So you don't have to vanish yourself from my life. And just.. for fucks sake stop saying sorry. Because that's what I heard all night." I spoke.

"Uh... did I? Did I embarrass myself." He asked, I could see his cheeks getting red. So I didn't gave him the details.

"No.. you just said sorry for like 1000 times. And slept. I literally have forgiven you. So Jake you seriously don't have to go away from my life." I was so obvious that I didn't want him to go.

"I don't know how am I going to look at you again. So it would be better if I just let you be." he said again negotiating my offer.

"You... can't..... can't you just stop thinking about that and move on." I said, I didn't know what he was thinking, what was going in his mind. He wasn't the type to date someone. I've never dated a guy before. Wait am I actually considering him to be my boyfriend? What is happening to me?

"No.. I can't move on. What I did was horrible and you are right to hate me. You forgave me too easily. I should be punished or whatever bad stuff you could do to me. Because I want to feel the pain that I gave you." He said in anger and regretting his decisions.

"I don't have to punish you. I'm just too kind I guess. I've seen you in pain, and I'm not someone who's going to literally beat you."

"But...."

"Jake, it's okay to feel bad. I was in a horrible situation. But seeing you suffer, was enough that you didn't find pride while doing it. And I glad you didn't feel that way. Because then I would've hated you." I tried to talk things out or else he would leave me.

"I really need to figure myself out. I can't just look you in your eyes and act like nothing happened."

"You don't have to act, just..... move past it."

"Andrew, I think I'm not the right guy you should be friends with. I should really go." He said and started leaving.

"I... I don't want us to be friends." I heard myself saying.

"What? What do you mean?"

"Uh.. can we be... more than friends? Like boyfriends....?" I said stuttering. He eyes opened wide. He suddenly looked away from my eyes. I was too dumb to ask because he wasn't the person who would date people.

"I... I don't know what to say, I've so much going on my mind and I don't think I can...... uh... Andrew we... no.. you are way too good for me. I can't understand what I'm feeling. I don't want to do something bad to you again. I have to figure things out and..... honestly..... I... uh... I'm too broke to be yours."

He said, looking away and leaving. I could see him leaving, but didn't knew what to say. I was a fool to ask him. How can I think of dating him. I've never had a boyfriend. But also I've never felt this way. Yesterday it was all so overwhelming for me. When he came and hugged me.

I couldn't help, but cry. Tears rolled down my eyes. I knew we were never gonna meet again. I wanted him in my life so badly that I ruined it. I scared the shit out of the guy by advising him to date me. Why would he wanna date me? Why do I want to date him?

What did he mean by he's too broke to be mine?