Chapter 2 Not Alone

I ran as fast as I could down the forest, trying to find my way back. Shit, it's getting dark! I looked back to see if someone's following me, but I couldn't see anyone. Maybe that should calm me down, but I ran even faster.

I need to get home quickly, I don't want to be here by the time the sun fully sets and my only source of light is the moon. I'm not sure, but I think I should get home if I just run straight ahead.

I looked back again, and it was a mistake. I saw a shadow run quickly, passing by me, but again, it was so fast I'm not sure if I actually saw it or was just hallucinating. But I do know that it moved at the same speed the person from the cottage did. And judging by the silhouette I saw, it's definitely a person. How can it move that fast, though?

I fell down, landing on my butt because of the sudden movement of the shadow. It's gone now, so at least I know it wasn't following me, but I'm still trembling out of fear, tears beginning to form in my eyes. Still, I forced myself to stand up and run as fast as I can, despite being so frightened.

When I arrived at my house, it was already pitch black outside. I locked all the doors and windows while still panting. First thing I did was take water from the fridge and breathe in and out, trying to calm myself down.

Home, at last. I should feel safer now that I'm here, but somehow, I still feel uneasy and panicky. And I know exactly why I feel that way. My eyes landed on the window in my kitchen, right behind me. As I walked closer to it, I examined the yard to see if someone was there. I sighed, realizing there was no one. Maybe I am hallucinating, but it does feel like someone's watching me. I tied my hair in a bun, finally feeling relieved. I'm safe now.

I stopped what I was doing when my eyes landed on the living room. I placed my glass of water on top of the counter and grabbed a kitchen knife, as I slowly walked towards the messy room.

I scanned the place. What happened here? The frames hanging on the wall were broken, and plant vases were shattered, causing the soil to spill on the wooden floor. The pages from the magazines placed on the coffee table were torn and all the cabinets and drawers were open, as if someone was searching for something in my house while I was away. I am definitely not alone.

I grasped the knife tightly as I ran towards my room, the one that looks like a princess' room with dainty wallpaper, to see if something happened there too. I gasped loudly and covered my mouth out of shock.

The mirror in my vanity was shattered, all my drawers and wardrobe also open, and my bedding is a mess.

I looked around trying to figure out why and how this happened. Quickly, I tried to see if something had been taken.

"That's right," I whispered to myself as I walked towards my desk. "I remember placing my diary here right before I left." I talked to myself. I grabbed my head and ruffled my hair. Who would take that? And why? I've only been here for two weeks so I haven't found out much about this place. I don't think I wrote anything useful there, but why would someone take it?

I walked to the vanity again, gliding my finger across the shattered mirror but not letting the glass shards cut me. I jumped and shrieked when I saw a figure of a man standing right behind me! I turned to face him and pointed my knife at him, but he didn't look intimidated at all. Instead, he gave me a smirk.

"Who... Who are you..." I stuttered and caught my breath while speaking, horrified that after being sorrowful of thinking I'm all alone in this world, a man who's potentially dangerous suddenly appeared.

"Xavier Crawford. You?" He sounded laidback, and he even sat on my bed despite me trembling in fear.

"Asteria. Can you please tell me what's going on here?" He's a total stranger, and yet I was desperate enough to ask him, hoping to be enlightened.

"Tell me, Asteria, what do you remember?" His voice was raspy, combined with his British accent, it sounded almost seductive.

He's not forcing me to answer and I don't intend on sharing too much about myself, but somehow, even though I didn't want to, my mouth opened to speak. "Nothing. I just got here a couple weeks ago and so far there's nothing I remember about myself, my family, or anything in my life and I know nothing on how I am the only one here, as if I'm existing in a parallel universe."

Without a warning, he briskly stood up which caught me off guard. He took a step towards me, so I stepped back. When I kept on backing away, I was shocked when his hot hands held me by my waist and pulled me against him, making a loud gasp escape from my mouth.

Our bodies are so close and his face was only a few inches away from mine. His green eyes stared deeply into mine, and I examined him closely. He has a chiseled jaw which was so defined and sharp it looked as if it could cut someone. His curly hair was a little messy, but it looked good with his dark aura. His nose was pointed, his lips was crimson, and it looked like his face was sculpted to perfection.

I then focused on how his body felt against mine. His hand cupped my waist perfectly, as if it was made to hold me. His arms were muscular and his body was tough, as if he exercises and works out a lot.

But what I liked the most was his eyes. They stared deeply into mine as if he could see right through me, as if he could see my soul. "You have pretty eyes." I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as he commented on my eyes.

I was about to reply when he moved his hand from my waist up to my shoulders. He held both of my shoulders firmly, it was hurting me a little. When I looked at his face to tell him he's hurting me, I almost screamed when his eyes were red, his mouth partly opened and I could see a glimpse of his sharp fangs.

I almost screamed. Almost. It was as if something was blocked in my throat which prevented me from squealing, or perhaps I feel hypnotized by his darkness.

"You will not remember meeting me today. You will find that someone entered your house and made a mess in it, but you will forget meeting a man named Xavier Crawford."

I wanted to stop him or ask him why he's saying what he just said, but I couldn't move. My whole body froze and my eyes started getting blurry, and I even felt dizzy.

"It was great meeting you, Asteria. It's not the time for us to meet yet, but we will meet again soon."

And with that, he left. He was so fast, it was like he was blown away by the wind. Concurrent with his disappearance was the loss of my memory.

I felt like I had just woken up from a nap. I am still in my room, and my house is still trashed so I know it wasn't a dream. My last memory was my house being a mess, standing in front of my desk, noticing that my diary was missing, but I am now in front of my vanity.

I covered my mouth to hold my sobs in, and I leaned on my wall, letting my body fall down to the floor while crying, confused and afraid.

On the bottom drawer of my desk, I found a camera. I didn't really know what I was doing but I just decided to press record. Since I no longer have my diary with me, I guess I need to find a new way to document everything that's been happening to me. A camera is perfect for that, since it feels exactly like I'm talking to someone.

"Hi." I looked around after saying one word, immediately feeling awkward, but also continued speaking. "This is kinda weird, but whatever. I'm Asteria. I woke up in this world all alone, feeling desperate to look for company, I ended up in the woods and almost got attacked by wolves on my first day here. But I guess that's not important right now because strangely, the wolves never appeared again after that night, so I guess they're no longer a threat to me." I stopped talking and looked outside the window when I heard a noise, but I quickly realized that it was just the wind, and I should stop being paranoid.

"Anyways, I've been here for two weeks now, and I'm not sure I can hold on any longer." With those words, I felt emotional again, but I rolled my eyes up, trying to avoid my tears from falling down. "I feel so lonely, bored, confused, and I'm constantly worrying or panicking. I need to know where everybody went. I need to know how I ended up here, and what this place is. There's a lot of questions and no matter how hard I try to look for answers, I get nothing. And I've been trying to get answers for weeks now." I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and paused for a few seconds before deciding to continue.

"Today, I saw a cottage in the forest, and I could be wrong, but I'm sure someone's living there. I even felt someone moving, but it was so fast, I'm not sure if it was real or I'm starting to see things, because I actually do feel like I'm going crazy."

"I ran back to my house only to see that it had been trashed and my diary's been stolen. To make matters worse, there were gaps in my memories, as if I did something or something important happened and yet I can't remember it. Someone's definitely living in this world other than me. I need to know who it is, talk to them maybe. It may be dangerous, but I can't be alone forever."

When I stopped recording, I quickly covered my mouth to hold in my sobs.

I tried to be strong my first week here. I had everything figured out. I came up with a way to purify water so I can drink, I stocked up on food, I planted fruits and vegetables so I know I'll never run out of something to eat, and I fixed my house to make sure I have a nice shelter. I tried to be strong and think positive so I can search for answers, and maybe two weeks isn't really a long time for some people, but I just feel so tired and hopeless already.

When is this gonna end? Will it ever end?

-

I woke up next morning with my eyes still feeling sore because I cried a lot last night. Despite feeling unmotivated to do something, I forced myself to get out of bed and make coffee.

As per usual, I took a nice morning walk, but instead of doing it to look around and search for answers, this time, I did it for health purposes. After that, I also did a quick workout just to get my body moving.

I didn't know what I should do next, but I do remember what happened last night.

I remembered how scared I was running down the forest with that insanely fast person, and I remember how my house was invaded and destroyed. I'm not just letting this slip off, this might be big and dangerous, I need to fight. First, I need to have a weapon to defend myself.

I didn't really know where I could get one, but I stopped by this gun and firearms store that I found while walking.

I looked around the store, but I realized I don't really know much about guns. There are a few books about them inside the shop so I decided to read them first so at least I know what I'll get and how to use them. In the end, I decided to get two: a pistol and a rifle.

I practiced my shooting accuracy in my backyard, since it's also pretty huge, I thought doing this in a wide space may be good. I first tried to find the proper stance and grip I'm comfortable to work in, and I practiced by dry-firing first.

Once I felt comfortable enough and ready, I loaded the gun and started shooting. I was startled when I made my first shot. The loud noise filled my ears and I felt my hand shaking because of shock. I did terribly, I didn't even hit my target. I tried to calm myself down first and didn't let my fear stop me from trying again.

Once I felt more relaxed, I took a deep breath and fixed my stance and aim again. I focused on my sample target and kept my eyes wide open, and once I'm satisfied with my aim, I pressed the trigger steadily.

I smiled after shooting and put down my gun. I ran towards the can, which I used as a target, and smiled again, satisfied with what I just did. I didn't shoot it in the center, but at least I did hit it, and I did better than before. It's progress.

I spent the rest of the morning practicing and stopped only when it was 11 AM, because I needed to cook for lunch.

Firing and shooting has been a hobby since then. Everyday, I practice my aim, and everyday I get better at it. And I've been doing that for two months.

-

"Hello," I sat down in front of the camera. "Today is day 67 of being trapped in this world. Alone."

I stood up and left the camera rolling and grabbed a bottle of wine along with two wine glasses. I poured one for myself, and poured another glass and placed it in front of me, once again pretending that I have company.

"I got used to it. I learned a lot of survival skills because I know that I have to be strong if I want to live longer," I muttered as I took a sip of my wine, tears rolling down my cheeks, which caused my visions to blur. "I just don't get it," I sobbed.

"How is this even possible? Why is it just me? At this point, I would choose to live with my greatest enemy, rather than live here all by myself. I actually think I'm going crazy, fuck!" I screamed and hit my own head out of frustration. "I don't know what to do anymore," slowly, I took the gun from my pocket and stared at it. "I do have a choice. I can end all this." I said as I played with the gun in my hand. "But if I do, that makes me a loser. I don't want to die alone."

I stopped talking and looked away from the camera while trying to stop myself from weeping. I wipes my tears and looked back at the camera, forcing a smile. "I can do this." I smiled wider and said again, "I can do this!" I said that multiple times, until I actually sounded believable.

Fuck, I'm miserable.

After trying to convince myself that everything will be okay, I started shedding tears again. I took the photo album that I placed in front of me and stared at the people in the pictures. I looked at one that looks like a family picture. My mother and father are standing in the middle, me and my siblings on their sides. It appears that I have four siblings, and I look like the youngest one.

I gently touched their faces, trying to feel something, knowing damn well that I won't because I still can't remember anything. I try to feel sad for them, I try to miss them, but the truth is I don't care about them. They all just look like strangers to me.

I turned to the next page and found a picture of me cuddling with a man. Is he my boyfriend? He looks so handsome, although he also looks older than me, as he appears to be in his late 20s, and I know that I am only 19 years old. Again, however, I feel nothing. No love.

It already sucks that I am left alone in this world, but to make things worse, I also don't know anyone, so I'm not holding on to any feelings. I don't have anyone I love, miss, or care about. I am all alone, and I don't even know myself well enough. How can I hold on and fight to live when I know nothing about my life?

I grabbed my pistol again, this time pointing it at the temple of my head. I took a deep breath as I gathered strength and courage to pull the trigger. "Goodbye, Asteria," I said one last time to myself.

I was about to pull the trigger, when I suddenly heard a loud bang. I quickly opened my eyes again because of this and put my gun down.

I ran towards my window, only to see smoke coming from a distance. I know it's probably just dangerous, but this gave me hope. At least I'm not alone, after all. And the fact that more people suddenly just appeared here like I did means there's also a way to go back. I can still fix myself.

I held on to my gun tightly and also brought a dagger with me. As if all those weapons are still not enough, I carried a bow and arrow on my back as well. I need to be prepared, as I don't know what danger awaits me when I follow the smoke.

Sure, I feel scared and thrilled. But at least I feel something, which is more than I ever got in a month. I will embrace whatever the danger I will face today because I know that the results will either be I die and all the pain ends, or I get the answers I've been longing for.

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