Chapter 3 Abnormal marriage

They carry my bags, but I only take my daughter the youngest. We go to her place and I happen to share with my friend Tandy what had happened. And Tandy tells me hope I told you not to go there, told you to leave that man he will kill you because his abuses has been too much. And Tandy says i'm sending you money and she sends me seven thousand and tells me, can that help, and I say yes. That will enable me to come to Nairobi as I find my way to Kisumu because I wanted to go to my mom in kisu. My son says that he will remain with the dark because. He just joined from one.

It doesn't want to stay at home where I still looking for job and it made sense. I told him. Are you sure you'll be safe and. Because I knew it will be a problem for. Because he's the one who removed his father from me. And I knew his father the way he is. He will not take it lightly, but he said it when he was fine, so I left him. And we travel the following day, early morning with my kids to Nairobi. We stayed in Nairobi for around two months. My dad because I was at my dad, he found money for me and I went to Kisumu. When I was in Kisumu. Things were now. Very difficult. I'm starting at the beginning again with kids. Nothing. You have nothing at all. This is now where you can't even afford a simple pad. You have girls. They need to use it. You you yourself, you need to use it. I'm looking for jobs, just trying to put myself together. Then one night this man calls me. The father of my children. And he's making noise and is telling me. This guy, this son is of yours is fighting me. I don't want him in my house, he said, I don't know what what what I told him. Kindly call me in a few moments time at this time my son calls. And he tells me.

My father has been abusing me a lot. Since you left. I had not been telling you, I thought it will be better, but no, it was not getting better. Whenever he'd come home. And he finds there's no sugar in the house. He tells me, why didn't you tell me sugar was not in the house? This is in the morning when I start answering, he starts punching me and kicking me. He punches me and he kicks me. And insulted me at the same time. And i'm like, why didn't you tell me. And he said, no, I thought it would get better. He would lock me out. Sometimes i'm from out and I come in. I have nowhere to go. I sleep in the landlord's house because he locked me. He fractured. His arms. And he did even take him to the hospital. He left him there. He slept with a fractured home. His aunt was swell and he was in pain. And when he's telling me this, I don't have even a shilling. And i'm asking myself, god. What am I going to do. He slept with it. And I asked him, would you like me to talk to him. Handy said no. I don't want anything to do with that, man. He said he's not my father and i'm not his son and he said he doesn't want to see me ever. I wanna come to you. I said, okay, just give me a moment. So i'm thinking. What am I going to do. And then I see a message on my phone. And there's this guy. Who saw a music, a music I posted on youtube. Okini panda Leoni, Taku panda, Pia. And he had started to communicating and he would send me sometimes three thousand four thousand, you know. And that time he sent me money and I opened my whatsapp and he said. Happy mother's day. It was mother's. And he told me I sent you something for mother's day and actually that's the last time I had from him. I can't even remember his name. And I believed that was godly sank. So I called my son and I said tomorrow i'm sending you money. It was sent by standard bank, so I had to go and withdraw the money. I went up with two the money. I sent my son money for the hospital. I told him, go and buy a bug. Atha illa enni ganna must to go. Then I called the father and I told the father kindly allow him. To pick up some of his clothes. Cause I don't have money for buying clothes. And the father told me, oh, so it is you has been encouraging him. You will see what is coming to you. And I asked him. You want me to leave him to become chocolate. You didn't have a job for the longest. And I took care of you. Now you want me to leave my son in the quote. The way you did, I said, no, no, no. Whether he is bad, he is good, he is my son. Let him come to me. So my son came. And he joined school. And god was very faithful. I got a job and life started being better for us. I rented a two bedroom house. My children started having at least a life where you just a normal life now and this particular time we've entered our house. We are sitting down down, you know when we start living just the way I started with him to Lela chini. Was a tough. We took clothes. Put on our head and our sun. My mom gave me a small mattress is where he used to sleep. Here again I started like that. We slept down until I was buying things and at this particular time. When he checked my son, he didn't take even two weeks. Not even two days. The girlfriend was in in the house. With her children. And the landlady is the one who called me to tell me this. It didn't even take two days. It was hard for the kids, especially. Because the lady would take pictures on the seats, things you know, and post them and they were following their father. I blocked him a long time ago cause I didn't want stress. Really. And at this particular time, everything I worked hard for. Was taken away from me. When, corona kay mitty tart on, my industry cause, ah. I'm a musician. And by this time I was actually selling essential oils that I was getting from Uganda. And some few things from China. And when we had a lockdown for eight months, everything came to a stop. I used all. To try and run the house, hoping things will come back together.

My landlord was not really understanding, so. So in last year, we need to come to the eighth month. Yeah. We moved out back to the village at my mom's. Practically now we became homeless again. And, yeah, and. Even when they opened school, my daughter didn't report the one informed to. Because I couldn't afford it, had no job, nothing and I had a class 8 in a form for student. I had two candidates. And are they sat they passed well. Yeah, and. That's it. We are at 1 point where there's nothing. There are no jobs, there's nothing and i'm even wondering, people cannot even, you know. Call for for functions or something. Yeah. So. That's where we are. We remain at a point where we're hoping for the best. I guess because I believe. We are adults and people make their decision and for me it's about healing and it's about my children and. And if we chose people, divorce is not something new. And if he chose that, he was going to divorce his children to well and good. There's nothing i can do about it, you know, and, for me it was just about to heal and my children also to heal because i don't want my children to be in pain. So him is moved on. Completely. And he's taking care of his wife and his wife's children and maybe they have their own right now. I'm not sure i'm not really bothered. I don't want to be poisonous. But at the same time, I have nothing good to say. And I don't want to pretend either. You know. And this is why we started our channel, you know our youtube channel with my kid so we can just have our fun and and even on my channel, I have not mentioned. Him. And what is important to me right now. Is the well being of my children. Ya, i think if i could, do this all over again. I first of all, wouldn't engage in relationship at a young age. I don't think I. Date someone was trying to find themselves. Because they don't know who they are. Because. You don't know who they are. If someone doesn't know who they are, then you definitely don't know who there. And you may be surprised who they really are once they know who they are. And at that this particular time, I think I became ah his practice wife. But at the same time it was my life. My life was not for practice because I feel like it almost destroyed me. I'm still trying to put my pieces together. And I think the best thing that ever happened to me. Was the break up.

When I left completely. Because I got to have a relationship with me. And with my god. Enda. As much as I may be in a difficult time sometimes. But i'm very happy. I have the piece of mind. And I know who I am. I don't know what I want in life. And i'm not mixing these things up. I want a place where my children will call home. I don't want. One time we are seeking refuge here we are seeking refuge there. I don't want that because I see my children suffering through this. I don't want that. So my big wish in life is just to find stability and to watch my children. Finish the education so that one day they can give back to the community. Their children that have been through. And they still have love in their heart. They don't even talk about their farm. They don't. So I know they have loving the heart. And I know one day if they're in a position they will give. Because they know what luck is.