Chapter 4 4

Nicholas

I saw her. It was her for sure. After all these years she was present in the same room as me. I could never forget those blue eyes. Never

"Nico." Isla's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "What are you thinking?"

I ignored her and looked out of the window. The fading London streets pulled me further away from the city towards the manor.

It was all that was. A Manor, a shell. Nothing more. It was empty. Something I used. There was no warmth, no care, no love. It wasn't my home.

"Honey." She ran her fingers through my hair. I jerked her hand away. The car came to a halt. I took a deep breath.

"August, take her back to her place." I stepped out of the car and slammed the door before she could argue.

I hated her to my guts. Hated every single thing about her. She was nothing like her. Not even a bit. She was shallow to her core. The sole reason I entertained her was my mother. I had to get rid of her as soon as possible.

I walked inside the manor. My mother was away on business. Father passed away four years back and everything changed after that. Everything destroyed.

Mother was no longer the same. She drowned herself in work and alcohol. She pushed me and my sister away.

Natasha had Jacob. He helped her out of the pain. He was her protector. He was her saviour.

For me, everything was different. I lost my shield with my father. I was bare open . All the sorrow, all the pain I felt everything. I lost everything with my father.

I could still feel his cold palm against mine as he lay lifeless in his coffin. Life was so fragile. My dear father took a part of me with him. She took another part of me with her. Without her I was left to bear the agony all alone.

I wanted to stop her. But she had already left by then. So many questions lingered in my mind.

Mia

The tube ride to my office wasn't smooth. Nicholas Cleland plagued my mind. I had nothing to worry about yet I was here sitting on a tickling time bomb.

Everything seemed normal as I walked into my office. No one asked me to go see the ceo. No one told me I was being fired.

"Relax." I told myself as I sat down. I worked as the assistant to the Editor in Chief and a lot of work was already piling up.

"God Save me." I closed my eyes.

"Darling."Poppy placed my morning cup of coffee on my table. "I am here to save you."

"No tea ?" I gave her a questioning look.

"You need this strong black coffee. Your dark circles make it evident."

I crashed my head on my table. "Huh."

"Don't." I could hear Poppy's voice. "Everything is going to be okay."

The day kept going in slow motion. Poppy was submerged in her work so no more tea breaks. I finished up working on calendar for the month of May. It was 5th already.

"12:30pm." I looked at the clock. "Almost lunch time." I thought to myself. "What If I take half the day off ?" I rubbed my temple.

"No one would want to see or fire an employee after lunch !" I stared at the pile of books on my table. "Why can't they send us digital copies ?"

"Cause Paperback is better." A familiar voice responded.

"James." He stood right next to me.

James was the Editor from the poetry Department. In his early thirties, he had black hair and matching black eyes. His beard sat perfectly on his chiseled jaw and he was taller than I was. Not only was he a popular and handsome man, but he was also kind and delightful to be around.

"I can help you with these. " He gave me a genuine smile.

"Thank you. But I am just having a headache."

"Do you want me to get you a coffee?"

"No. No. I am fine." I gave him a reassuring smile.

"So, why did you leave abruptly yesterday?"

A question I had been dreading. "It was my dress." I answered abruptly. "I... I had a problem with my dress."

"You looked beautiful in that black dress."

"Thanks." Shit ! Was that a compliment I replied to. It was getting even more awkward.

"Mia." He flashed his hand in front of me. "I have been meaning to ask you out for quite some time now. Will you go out with me for Dinner ? This Friday night ?"

"No.No.No.No." I repeated to myself. "Why?. No."

"Mia!" His voice echoed in my mind. "You zoned out again. "

"huh."

"You can take your time and let me know. No hurry."

I looked at him out of words. I was trying to frame a sentence in my mind.

"Amelia." The Editor in Chief popped his head out of his office.

I immediately shot up from my table. "Yes,

"Mr Cleland wants to see you."

"Fuck." I could feel my headache coming back.

The walk down the hall was the most excruciating one of my life. My nightmare was coming true. I would be facing him today. After four long years. I rubbed my temple as I waited outside his office. I had spent nearly ten minutes in the washroom Splashing my face with cold water hoping I would wake up from my sleep. But unfortunately, it was my current reality.

"Amelia." Shania, his assistant was a friendly woman. In her late twenties, she and I had catched up multiple times at the office tea bar or for lunch with Poppy. She was Poppy's cousin.

"Mr. Cleland wants to see you now."

I stood up and my shaky legs weren't helping either. I smoothed my dress. "Everything is going to be alright." I assured my self. I gathered all my courage and knocked on the door.

"Come in." His deep voice came from the other side of the door. It sent shivers down my spine.

I pushed the door and entered into his office. His office was his mirror image. Seemed like he had it changed according to his taste before he took over.

A dark walnut bookcase lined the entire left-hand wall. There was a leather sofa with a blanket draped over the arm and a beautiful Indian carpet below it. The far wall had a large Scandinavian fireplace and mantle dominating the centre , with bookshelves lining it on either side. On the mantle, he had photographs of his family. There is also a Scandinavian piano and bench in dark walnut. He loved playing the piano. Hanging on the wall above the piano was an abstract painting, another thing he loved.

But my mind wandered back to the mantle. The photographs of his family and friends. Right in the middle was a tiny frame containing a Polaroid photograph from four years back. A photograph that I clicked of him. Emotions rushed through my mind as tried to hold back tears. This was even more difficult than I imagined.

"Miss Duval. Nice to meet you again." I looked at him. Those dark emerald eye were back in my life. His cold eyes pierced right through me. I decided to rema silent.

So many memories flashed in front my eyes, both happy and sad.

"I didn't expect to bump into you after so many years." He smirked. "Nice to see you go from a pampered princess to this. Working in a humble publishing house."

I remained silent. Not only his eyes, but his words were cold as ice. The warmth I once knew was gone.

"You could have introduced yourself yesterday but you chose to ran away." He straightened himself up in his chair. "Kind of a coward move."

Why was he trying to insult me ? After doing what he did four years back. I clearly misunderstood him. All of that love and warmth was a facade. This is who he really was. I had just failed to recognise him.

"Anything else, Sir?"

"Kind of Cocky. Just like the first time we met, Mia." His face was blank, devoid of the coldness that he held sometime back.

"Hold it together." I reminded myself as I stood in front of the Man who my responsible for breaking me. Memories from my past flashed infront of my eyes. They sent a shooting pain through me. I clutched the hem of my skirt to prevent my emotions from showing.

"I must say, you haven't changed." His eyes roamed around on me. "Completely same. Bet that mouth feels the same as well."

The sadness inside me turned into anger. I felt disgusted. I clenched my palm as I tried to calm my self. "Bet you will never know."

He stood up from his seat. "Don't test me, Mia."

"I don't intend to." I composed myself. "If you have nothing else to say, I will take my leave." I turned around towards the door.

"Will be fun to work with you, Mia." I heard him say as the door to his office closed behind me.

That night I sat in my room, crouched on my bed as tears escaped my eye. My mother sat infront of me. Nothing she said eased my pain. Absolutely nothing.

"I loved him so much, Mama." I sobbed. "I still love him, Mama."

"It hurts that I love the wrong person."

"It's the persons fault, not yours." She ran her fingers through my hair. "You have an Angel in your life, Ava."

"He never wanted her. He asked me to get an abortion. Now after so many years, he is still a heartless jerk. " I felt frustrated. "Yet my stupid heart loves him."

Tears clouded my vision as my memories took me back 4 years. "You should get an abortion. I will pay you the money if you want." His letter read. It hurt the same way as it did back then, multiple daggers piercing my heart at the same time.

"Mama, he never loved me." I sobbed "He never did."

"Mia, it's not your fault that you love him. It's his loss. He lost a loving woman as well as a beautiful daughter." She took me in her arms. "Don't let him make you feel so low. You are one strong woman." She gently kissed my forehead calming me down.

"Mia, let it go."