Chapter 4 Rage & Regret

Blake

The one thing that I'm certain about is that I have to stay away from her at all costs. Here's the plan, I'll keep my head down, keep my distance and avoid her like the plague. Everything will work out, right?

Ever since my father told me that he had arranged for Kelsey and Logan to return to pack grounds for their five year check-in, my life has been nothing short of a blur. When I stood up to stretch from being cooped up in my office all morning like a tiger in a cage, I noticed her parents' black sedan passing through the black iron gates and driving into Blackclaw from my window. My wolf knew she was here too, he could feel her near and he wouldn't stop pestering me. He missed her, I missed her too, but I shouldn't.

They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I can confirm that's bullshit. None of the countless one night stands I've had over the years have come close to healing the wounds that have now become tattered scars in my heart. As I'm thrusting into a girl, I imagine that it's Kelsey underneath me. Just when I'm about to release my load into a girl, I imagine it's Kelsey I'm releasing into. She's become my obsession. An obsession that I haven't been able to break free from.

I've spent the past four and a half years torturing myself for letting go of the best thing that's ever happened to me and I was positive that this week wouldn't be any different. She's what I wake up thinking about and what I fall asleep dreaming of. If that isn't enough, I physically get to feel the sting of rejecting the mate bond nearly every damn day. The only thing that I found to slightly numb the pain was keeping myself distracted with booze, women or work.

I know I hurt her, I know I broke her heart. A cruel reality that I now have to live with. The truth is I broke my own too but she doesn't even know it. She sees me as an asshole and I don't blame her for it.

I would have claimed her right there on the dock that night as my mate if I could have. I knew she was my mate, as lame as it sounds I could feel it. There was something different about Kelsey, something electric that made me feel alive whenever I stared into those big emerald green eyes.

I'm an Alpha by birthright though and like they say with power, comes responsibility. My parents had approached me that morning of her eighteenth birthday at breakfast and explained that while they adored Kelsey, it was better to break things off with her instead of stringing her along. You see, my fate had been sealed when I was only five years old to take Everly from Silver Shadow Pack, the first born daughter of Alpha Jakob as my Luna.

That's right, Crimson Pack's biggest rival. The rivalry had gone on for centuries, every decade or so, there would be another unnecessary war. The union between Everly and I would be the official stitch to finally mend the packs together, the years of bloodshed soon to be nothing but brutal history never to be repeated.

Everly was prim and polished, molded into the perfect picture of what a Luna should be. However, she was a tad too cocky for my liking. Coming from me, I know that says a lot. Being the Alpha's daughter and having lived in the spotlight her entire life, I also didn't hold it against her. Us Alpha kids just had it different than the rest of the pack.

Just as I was about to sit down at my desk and continue working on the details for the pack run next Friday, my Beta Asher mind links me. "Alpha, the endurance training we had scheduled is done for the day. Do you want to come down and continue with defensive drills or should I let them off early today?"

My Beta Asher had been one of my best friends since we were pups. When my father's Beta had stepped down to spend more time with his grandchildren and shortly after I became Alpha, there was no question in who I believed should take his place as Beta. Asher was quick witted, level headed and strong. His wolf was the second biggest in the pack, I had even come across Alphas who were weary to mess with Asher. My father's Beta trained Asher and had no doubts that Asher would be a valuable asset to Crimson Pack.

Only one issue: he was also close friends with Kelsey, my mate, and it was clear as day that he adored her. I could always tell when she was calling him because Asher was horrible at hiding it. Whenever he glanced at his vibrating cellphone and saw her name, he never failed to immediately tense up. It was like clockwork. Asher knew about my predicament and I knew he disagreed with my decision but I was grateful that he refrained from mentioning anything Kelsey related.

I heave a sigh and massage my temples in aggravation, "ya. It's fine, I'll be there in five minutes" and flick my laptop screen down. Any other day and I would have let the group finish early, we had been training vigorously since the last training session a month ago with the allied packs. The last time the packs got together to train, I had two injured shifters by the end of it and I was determined not to let history repeat itself. I'm pretty sure Alpha Tate isn't going to let me live that one down anytime soon considering it had been shifters from his pack that inflicted the injuries.

Alpha Tate, Alpha Jaxon, Alpha Liam and I renewed the allegiance amongst our packs once I became Alpha of Crimson Pack. A brotherhood of sorts. We were all similar in age, essentially grew up together and have the same goal of transitioning our packs into the modern world. Maybe even the entire werewolf race. As the human world advances, the shifter world cannot stay stuck in place; a testament that our fathers weren't exactly fond of.

But, as always, change might be uncomfortable but it's necessary.

Three out of four packs already had ties to each other from when our fathers were Alphas, with the exception of Alpha Tate's pack. However, their allegations consisted of having each other's backs in case they required assistance for whatever reason. Our pact inherits their beliefs but adds a little bit more with our warriors actually being familiar with each other. Alpha Tate was from the North, I was from the South, Alpha Liam was from the West and Alpha Jaxon was from East. Even though there are seven werewolf packs, four packs working hand in hand with each other gave us a majority when it came to most Alpha meetings.

They were scheduled to arrive with their warrior packs tomorrow night except for Alpha Tate who had already arrived and was already up my ass to go out for drinks. Crimson Pack was hosting the training session this time around. Having an allegiance with each other, we gathered our warrior packs once a month to train together, master skill sets and more importantly learn to fight together as a team. If a war was ever to take place, it was vital that the warriors all saw each other as one force moving in unison instead of four separate identities.

I had made my way into the field and towards the bright eyed warriors. After last month's circus, I could see their determination to showcase their strength to the other packs. Shifters are obnoxiously competitive by nature, particularly against other packs.

I quickly demonstrated a few defensive moves which they all seemed to grasp with ease when they paired off to practice. Two hours of defensive training later and I realized I had completely lost track of time. "Pack up Crimson. Good work today, training is at 3pm tomorrow. One last session before our guests arrive tomorrow night. Do not be late!", I yelled out to the group.

Beta Asher comes and places a hand on my shoulder, "they look good out there, Alpha Tate is going to shit his pants when he sees them this time", he says with a smirk. Beta Asher was beaming from the improvement of the group and I can admit his work has been impressive.

I coil out a laugh and reply, "yeah, I'm stoked to see his face too. That guy may not come back next month when he sees Crimson now". I pull off my black v-neck tee that was drenched of sweat from the beaming hot summer sun.

I notice Beta Asher's eyes bolt to the other side of the field where a small crowd was now gathering, it was like he wasn't even paying attention with his gaze so intently fixed on the horde. The look on his face made me wonder if he was looking for something... or rather someone. "...I'll catch ya later Alpha", he said and jogged over to the crowd.

My cellphone vibrates against my leg and I pull it out my pocket. I groan seeing that it's a text from my father asking where I had left the pack rotation schedule. Unbelievable. I know he wanted to help with the shift of power of Alpha but sometimes it felt like he wasn't ready to let it go.

I stuff the cellphone back in my pocket, I was on my way back to my office anyhow. A high pitched shriek catches my attention from across the field and I glare over to the crowd that Asher had just raced towards. Before I even have time to react or process what was going on, I see my Beta Asher picking up and spinning a blonde in his arms. The already short canary yellow dress exposed her long tanned legs that were wrapped tightly around his waist while his arms held her up right under perky her ass.

I feel my mouth run dry at the sight and a growl escape my chest. "Mine!", my wolf howls. I couldn't fight the urge and rip my gaze off of her, she looks breathtaking. A total fucking Goddess.

I can feel my gym shorts tighten when thoughts flood my mind of how badly I'm craving to have her underneath me. Her petite body trembling under mine while I thrust into that taut little pussy like no time had passed.

I watch her until our gazes lock, her emerald green eyes shining brightly in the reflection of the sun and narrowing directly at me. Fuck, I need to get out of here. This wasn't the plan. The plan was to avoid her at all costs. I'm not sure how much self-control I'll have around her.

I stalk my way into the forest, feeling my wolf whimper and scold me that we're going the wrong way. I tare my gym shorts off and shift, taking off towards the pack borders.