Chapter 2 CRUSH

JUSTIN's POV

"JUSTIN, JUSTIN, JUSTIN!!!"

A voice bellowed my name at the background. I was in the attic, because that's where my room is and the voice must have come from the ground floor, Where my brother's room is and I'm sure it was him that called me.

My house is a one storey building, a duplex. It's really flashy one, but only on the outside, and trust me. When you get inside, you're gonna wanna puke... Literally!

It's so messy inside, and it always stinks of cigarettes and all sorts of drugs, well that's a given, seeing what kind of business my family's into,

Believe me, when someone tells you not to judge a book by its cover, heed their advice, I'm speaking from experience.

Anyway, its cause of their loaded shit that my room is now way up in the Attic.

Yes, it could be a bit of trouble, having to go down and come up all time, especially when there's no bathroom in the attic,

But, it's still peaceful and free from chocking cigarette smoke, or a bunch of wasted fools, still looking to get dead.

"HURRY UP... OR I'M GONNA GO FIRST" My brother yelled again and it pieced me off again, so I just ignored him and continued packing up my laptop,

I hate it when some yells at me, and James knows it all to well.

He yells again, but this time, I think he woke up my wasted dad and his friends downstairs, and he was mad that he have to be woken up like that's.

Shortly, I heard an even louder grumpy voice, "JAMES, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, WHY'D YA HAVE TO YELL... IF YOU WANNA TALK TO YOUR BROTHER, YOU GO UP AND YOU HAVE A QUIET DIALOGUE WITH HIM." Dad was a little quirky and I'm sure that must have spooked James. My dad's the only person James is scared of.

Dad, must have really frightened him, because after my dad became quiet, the next thing I heard were stomping on the ground, thAt became louder and louder by the second and at a fast pace,

The next thing knew, James was in my room, he looked angry, I couldn't see his anger, because the second you walk into my room I was mesmerized,

My heart skipped a beat, I gasped for air.

"Hey! What was that for?" I asked him as I was startled,

"You, if not for the love I have for you kid bro, I would have punch you in the face. You made me wake dad up and you know he gets quirky when we wake him up like that..."

I'm sure James said more after that but, I couldn't pay attention to what he was anymore, the second I heard him say he loves me, my heart started leaping of joy, but then he just had to end it with KID-BRO, and the joy I felt fade like a drop of color let into an ocean.

Then he walked towards me, he put his hand on my hair, it sent shivers down my spine,I really hated it so I knocked his off with my elbow, and I glared at him,

He looked at me with his green color eyes, filled with tender, "You were spacing out, KID-BRO, I wanted to bring you back" he said to me with deep but low tone,

But I ignored his tenderness, it priced me off, because everytime he showed me such care, he did as a big brother and the thought of it irritates me.

"Don't touch me again", my tone was sharp with anger but I couldn't careless, I looked at James,but as usual, he wasn't taking me seriously.

He just raised his eyebrows and grinned at me, I couldn't tell, if he was confused, being sarcastic or just taking me for joke,

James removed his gaze from me and looked at the watch he wore on his right hand,

"Anyway, it's 7:30am and I wouldn't want the brains of the house to be late for school... If it was just me, I couldn't care any less, my future's pretty much decided. So, let's go" James made himself sound as sarcastic as he could,

I just rolled my eyes and continued packing up my gadgets, "you should go ahead... I still have a lot to pack" I told him in a dull time,

I was expecting to hear footsteps and some seconds later, I'd hear the door shutting behind me. So, I did here footstep but I didn't hear the door being shut,

I saw James bent by my left side, his hand were in my bag, which was on my bed, he helped me put my books, which were scattered on my bed, into my bag.

You know, I should be used to all this kindness by now but, I don't know why my heart keeps pounding everytime he does every single nice things for me,

I stared at his side face an watched his bloned straight hair that I wanted to touch everytime, all I could think was "I don't want to be your KID-BRO, I would never want that"

I was in a daze, I subconsciously reach out my hand to feel his hair, but just when I was an inch close to touching him, he said, "Justin. I told you, going to school would be pointless without you, my future's already decided."

Luckily for me, his head was still faced down, so he didn't see the lustful face i was making,

I came back to myself immediately at the sound of his voice, I couldn't believe what I was about to do,

My deep feelings for my older brother,which I have been concealing for as long as I can remember is now getting too much for me to handle.

I immediately pulled my hand back, before he couldn't notice I was about to touch him. I know it okay to touch your brother but, for reasons I don't know, my heart was racing at the thought of touching him and I also felt a lump of fear at the thought of him knowing about it.

Simultaneously, as I pulled my hand back, James lifted his head, he looked at me for a second as he narrowed his his eyes, then he asked me "hey, how come you're sweating so much and all of a sudden?"

I twitched when I heard him, "shit, I didn't know I was sweating already" I thought as fumbles my hand on my face to check, and indeed I was really sweeting.

James Walks closer to me, and he stared deeply into my eyes then a suspicious smile appeared on his face, "or... Are you having wet thoughts?" He scoffed

"Stop! What are you saying? Stop joking around and let's go, we probably wasted a ton of time already" I replied him immediately he asked, then I grabbed my bag from his hand and hurriedly walked out of my room, leaving him behind.

But, I heard him laughing as he followed me closely behind, "so you were, you really were, Justin my boy, you becoming a man now"

"You probably won't be this excited when you find out those thoughts were about you" I thought as grit my teeth and walked even faster, I wanted to be away from him,

But, James noticed and him being the brawn to that he is, he caught up to me in no time, which was really annoying.

In no time, we got to the living room, and ofcourse, I was greeted by the strong stench of weed,

"FUCK!" I yelled as I simultaneously covered my nose and angrily Walk to the door, James who was still close behind, didn't feel anything at all, he said "Justin, you don't have to make your irritation so obvious, right dad?" he lets out a little laughter,

"Yeah kid, your brother's right. You and your mother are just so alike, from looks down to character" My dad spoke as he inhaled the smoke of the papper wrapped weed he held in-between his index finger and his middle of his right hand, while he made himself comfortable on sofa by the entrance

"maybe that's why she Left me" He concluded, he sounded like someone who flushed his brains down the toilet, but seriously, with the way he does drugs I'm sure his living his life half sober.

When I got to the entrance, I stopped and looked at him, with my fingers plugged to my nose, still, I could still inhale residual of the smoke he exhaled,

I gave my father a scornful look,"I'll NEVER end up like you JOSEPH DAVISON" then I walked through the door.

"YOU'RE ALREADY ON THE PATH!" he yelled, but I didn't care, I was just happy I could finally breath fresh air

Shortly, James joined me, then arm-crossed me, and again I felt my face heating up, I knocked off his hand as soon as placed them on me,

"I told you, don't touch me" I said to him then walk in front, in the direction.

"Hey, I just wanted us to walk together... What's with you toda? you've been acting up all morning" James sounded confused,

"you're the problem" I wanted to tell him that, but for, it just remained a thought in my head.

After a bumpy and uncomfortable ride on the bus to school, we finally got there, I glanced at James, who was beside me and I could read his though loud and clear;

I'm pretty sure he must be cursing the bus driver, and I am as well, judging from the fact that I had to him bodies with a billion people; plus his asking himself why he didn't take his car today.

That must have been my fault, I know I kinda threw him off balance today. I was feeling remorseful, so I decided to apologise.

"James, i-" My intention was to apologise but i notice his eyes was elsewhere, and he was staring so much,he was about drool.

so I decided to see what he was looking at,then I looked in the direction his eyes were focused on.

It landed on an Average hight girl of 5'6, she had brown hair of neck length, a slim hour-glass shape and most of all a pretty face,

To me, she had no flaw at all, and I'm sure that's how my brother saw her too, because when ever his eyes falls in her, they stay there until she disappears from his sight.

He's interested her and that is very obvious, the other he ditched me to go ask for her number.

She has no flaw, that's true but I hate her, calling my feelings for her hate, will be too strong, but let's leave it like that, she makes me feel incomplete, it's annoying.

As I watched how James selflessly stared her, I bit my lower lip in annoyance and decided the groud beneath my feet was more interesting to look at.

I was getting pieced by the way James just watched her and didn't do anything, I wanted to get him out of my sight, I tapped him hard at his back and said;

"Hey, you're about to drool, go talk, if you wanna talk... You're giving me second grade embarrassment here"

Then if pushed him towards her direction, but my attempt to get him out of my sight fail, because he pulled me along. "How can someone be so freaking strong", I thought.

"uh... Hi, how was your weekend" James Started a conversation with her, as he ran his fingers through his blonde hair, he was shy, it was crystal clear to me though, but with his looks and the stance he took, He came off as a *Knight In Shining Armor*

I looked at him and I grinned a little, he might be a brawn and a total dumbass, but he knows how to use his looks, I mean, he caught me with it as well.

"Hi, my weekend was good. Yours?" She replied him, her voice sounded so sweet I almost gag, "she must be faking this, she can't exactly sound like this" I thought, Although I wished I had said that out loud.

But, James looked so happy I didn't want to spoil it for him, even though I wish it was he was staring at like that.

As James and The girl continued their conversation, the atmosphere around them was so light hearted I could literally see, pink and red hearts in the background,

I my heart so felt heavy, I asked myself "why am I here, why am I being forced to withness",

As I thought, I bent my head to the ground and started observing the pair of shoes we wore,

Then, I notice four pairs of shoes not three, the I raised my head to see who the person was, and it was another brown haired girl, but her shad was lighter,

She was like two more inches taller than the one talking to my brother, I was so surprised,

I was so engrossed in hating the girl who is talking to James, that I didn't notice there was another girl beside her.

"How long has she been here for?" I asked myself as I stared at her in confusion, but sometimes told me, she has been here the whole time because the way she glared at James was so scary it was like the **if I had a gun, I would drop you dead right now** look.

And for some reason, I knew she didn't want to be here as well, I became intrigued by her, and this is the first time another person intrigues me besides my brother.

"who is she" I thought.

"Stella. Let's go" she commanded.