Chapter 4 Four

Tracy The sun shone it's light on me making me squint, I rolled on to my back and stared at the ceiling, it took a while before I remembered what happened the day before. Regrets started rushing in again, like a river of cold water making me shiver. I should have listened to my family, now I'm a single mother and my children are fatherless, all because I didn't listen. How is Michelle and Micheal going to feel?, That thought alone made tears fall but I cleaned it off and I stood up.

It was Sunday and I had to start preparing the children and myself for church, I couldn't afford to get lost in thought. We got to church right on time and the children went to the children department, I fought hard to focus on the sermon but I lost the fight, I kept thinking about the magazine and the way Alex and that woman's picture sat pretty on the front cover. I sent a silent prayer to the lord that no one would see the magazine, because I know if people in church sees it, they would be talking about it for weeks. I didn't realize how long I was lost in thought for until everybody rose up for the closing prayer, he passed some information and everyone started leaving the church, I was about to get my children from the children department when two of the women in church blocked me. I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes, everyone in town know Mrs Bennet and Mrs Luke are the town's gossip and seeing as they came to me, they've probably seen the magazine. "How are you doing?" Mrs Bennet asked smiling sheepishly "I'm fine thank you, how are you?" "I'm fine thank you, but then are you sure you are fine darling, I mean we all read about that boy you were with few years ago, we read he is getting married." She said and my jaw almost dropped, I never read what was on the magazine, all I saw was the picture. "Tracy? Are you sure you are okay?" Mrs Luke asked and I smiled "Of course I'm fine, if you'd excuse me, my children are waiting." I said and I left before they could say anything else I was sweating on the inside, I could see people looking at me and pointing fingers, it was driving me crazy but I managed to smile and wave at few people, as soon as I picked Mitchell and Michael from the children department, I hurried them to the parking lot, hoping to avoid people but unfortunately Martin was beside us before we could get into the car "Hey" "Hey, just a minute, Michael, Michelle please wait in the car" I said and I waited till they were in the car before I turned back to face him "Tracy, I heard the news." "What news?" I asked like I didn't Know what he was talking about "Tracy you can't fool me, that news is the talk of the town, I heard it from Mrs Bennet this morning, that guy is engaged to a rich businessman's daughter." "So?" "Tracy let me save you this humiliation, people are talking about how sure they are that your children were birthed out of wedlock." He said and I glared at him "Tracy, I believe you if you say you were married to him before you gave birth to your children, but then he has moved on and forgotten about you now, let me take care of you and your children, let me give them my last name, Let me..." "Please stop!" I said cutting him off "My children are fine, I told you I'm not interested, and I'm not taking the cowardly way out of this, once again I'm not interested and I'd be thankful if you stop asking, if you would excuse me." I said then joined my children in the car leaving him there. "Mum your phone rang while you were talking to uncle Martin." Micheal said playing with Michelle's hair I checked my phone to see that I missed my mum's call and there was a message telling me to see them as soon as church closes. I dropped my phone and I sighed, I was not sure the day could get any worse. "Your grandparents are back and we are going to visit" I told my children unenthusiastic about the idea but the children were busy jubilating. When we got to my parent's, I saw my brothers' cars outside which made me conclude that they are inside with their wives and children. We entered and we all chatted for a while, but I was not blind, I could see the tension in the room, we had lunch and the children were allowed to go and play in the nursery that was barely used. "Tracy" my father called after everyone had their seat "Yes?" "I'm sure you know why we had to cut our trip short and come back home as soon as possible." "Yes sir" I said looking at him, I could see concern in his eyes "Good, I want you to know that whatever we want to talk about today is for your own good, we all love you and we want the best for you." "Okay" "Be sincere Tracy, were you married before you gave birth to the twins?" My mum asked and it took me a few seconds to answer because I was busy trying to keep my temper under control "Yes we were married, and I have a wedding ring and a certificate which I left in Florida." "Then what on God's green earth happened between the two of you!" My eldest brother asked obviously annoyed "Like I said, nothing, we got married, got to the house we purchased in Florida and the next day my husband was not with me, he only left a note saying he'd be back." "Well he's not coming back, as we all can see." he said standing up "Calm down Lewis, everything is going to be fine" My dad told my eldest brother "I know, I'm just worried about my sister" he said sitting back down. "I don't want you guys to worry about it, I'm fine, maybe a little bit shocked, but still I'm fine." I said and they all looked at me definitely doubting if I was fine "You can stay with any of us anytime." Cole said and everybody nodded "Yes I can, but like I said we are fine, thank you very much, I really appreciate everyone." The rest of our stay was pleasant, the tension was gone, I was even putting my emotions under control already, the only emotion that was still not under control was my anger towards Alex which is not getting under control anytime soon.