Chapter 6 Melinda

6.MELINDA

After crying my eyes out at maths, I struggled to keep my composure through all the periods. I tried hard not to cry,I couldn't even say a word. And when it was lunch,I ran into the toilet. I bursted out with tears immediately.

I cried so hard that runny mucus rushed from my nostrils. It was like I had been bottling it up for the past one year. I cried so hard ,the tears that had refused to come when I stared at dad's lifeless bleeding body, after we heard the call and rushed to the hospital. The deviant tears that stayed back ,when everyone around me cried so hard ,for the nice hardworking devoted young doctor, kind brother,loving husband and respectful son. I cried for all the times I was jeered at ,and smiled or acted like I didn't hear a word. I know I am acting dramatic but sometimes you just have to cry. I stare at my pink flats , and I cry heavily once more. It is like I am just realizing the reality. All those times I didn't feel a thing or never cried. I thought it was because I was strong, I thought it was because I never saw much of Dad, because we weren't close to each other. He was always at the hospital saving lives nobly. I hear footsteps. I switch on the tap abruptly and I start washing my face. The person comes in,

"Hey"

I am in no mood to be bothered.

"What!", I snap, not meaning to. It's the stink eye girl,Teni.

"I was just trying to be friendly, I am sorry about you failing" she stressed the " failing",in a way that could tell that she was being sarcastic.

" thank you " I say, not knowing what to say,and walk out feeling nervous. What must she think of me? "A cry baby?". She stares at my face, like she is studying it and then at my pink flats.

"We could be friends, if you want," Teni says.

"Oh...thank you ", I say and walk out. I don't want to be friends with someone who gave me a stink eye on my first day here. She doesn't even seem like someone who would like to be my friend or be my friend. She gives off this vibe I don't like. I saw her scolding Remi earlier, during English class. She talked to her like Remi was a little sister of hers.

I take my seat, my food is on the table, either Daniella or Dave have gotten my food for me. I was not planning to eat. But now that the spaghetti is in front of me, I feel very hungry.

"Thanks guys' ' , I say, grabbing my fork. My voice is thick from crying.

"You don't have to cry," Daniella says and takes my hand.

" What you have to do is learn", Dave adds.

"We could help",Daniella says with a smile,her puffy cheeks round and shiny.

"After school we can stay back and study,my Dad is a desk operator so he comes back late from work and Dave's mum is a paralegal in a very busy law firm and she is always walking all round the clock."

"But my mum,will come to pick me early" I say

"Just for today,we will talk to her about it," Daniella says with a wink. Reading after school sounds like a good idea. Maybe if I read hard enough, I will pass my WAEC exams and JAMB too.

School is over ,Dave and Daniella are sitting in the empty cafeteria ,Dave on my right and Daniella on my left. Daniella is reading her chemistry text book ,while Dave solves equations and explains as I watch, trying to grasp the magic. Just then we hear a horn that sounds like my mum's new car.

"That could be my mum", I say and try to stand up. But Daniella is already standing and seats me back down. "What if it isn't, I will go check, don't be distracted" I obediently sit back down, and Dave continues to solve the equation while Daniella walks away. Dave looks so handsome, everything about him is ,I know I should be looking at the solvings but I just want to take a look at his gloriousness. Dave looks up at me, and smiles knowingly.

I hope he doesn't tell Daniella, she would hate me.

"I knew you before you came here," Dave says.

"Really?how?"

"I even had a crush on you ,it was not really a crush ,my cousin Obinna brought this class picture when he came for the holidays like last two years,and I saw you looking so pretty in that pink short dress and pumps. I asked what your name was ,and he told me Merlin'' Dave bursts into laughter,"it is cute anyway "

"Now great you know that name, don't tell anyone about it. I hate that name", I make a frustrated grunt , "Did Obinna tell you he gave me the name?"

"Nope."

" Obinna is the school bully back at Standard "

"Oh,I am sure he didn't mean no harm"

"Yes he didn't",I say sarcastically.

"Obinna is a really nice guy, if you get to know him. Besides every school has a bully"

"Nice my foot ,you have no idea how much he bullied me ,and made stupid jokes about me all the time" I say almost vehemently.

"Sorry" Dave says sympathetically and looks away.

"Its okay, Dave, I just hope this school will be better"

"I hope so too",he says with smile,"the bully in this school is gone but ,I think Teni is trying to continue her legacy "

Now I know why she gave me the stink eye and why she was speaking to Remi that way. Daniella comes in ,"it is your mum ,I told her about it ,and she said it was okay. Plus she is really pretty and nice. No wonder you are too."

I smile as I put my books into my bag, Dave winks at me, is he flirting with me?

"Bye" I say to him and Daniella, who is trying to take her seat. I run outside, past Teni and a girl who looks like she is eleven,wearing the uniform from the primary section. It could be her sister. As I get to the car ,I open the door and hop in.

" Good afternoon, mum," I say as I take off my bag. And mum ignites the engine and begins to drive.

"Good afternoon dear,the girls standing in front of your school, do you know them?" Mum says, looking out of the window.

" Not really, " I reply. I know mum wants to help, but helping the girl who gave me a stink eye when she first saw me,is not a good idea but I don't say anything. Mum reverses backwards then winds down the window ,she beckons to the girl, her arms out of the window but she doesn't notice"

"Go and tell her I want to give them a ride home," mum says to me. And I reluctantly step out and then walk towards her.

"My mum wants to help you guys with a ride home", I say, trying to be polite enough.

I didn't want to sound pompous, but I guess I did a little bit. The younger girl standing beside her smiles and begins to thank me. But Teni says they are both okay. What's her bug? We were just trying to help. I walk away into the car ,and tell mum to drive on.

"So, how was your day?"

"It was quite fine, but ..." I am not so sure if I should tell mum about it ,"I failed woefully in the home activity "

"I was thinking about getting a private tutor for you, but your new friend told me about you staying back to study with them. Which is a good idea."

I already forgot about our plan, "Oh, thanks mum"

"So ,I hope no one calls you names over here?"

"No they don't" but soon they would.

Mum drives to a stop in front of the gate and then she parks the car ,I open the door and step down from the car, I open up the gate wide ,so that mum can drive in. Mum drives in. I lock up the gate. When I turn around, Mum comes out of the car. I walk up to her and we both walk into the house building. Agnes is bent over the transparent glass cleaning it.

Agnes looks up when she hears mum footsteps on the tiles. She beams with a smile,"Welcome ma ,welcome Melinda"

"Thank you....ma" . I walk upstairs. I suddenly feel tired as I walk upstairs into my room , I hear my mum and Agnes conversing. But I can't make out the words. I open up my door, it looks neater and more sparkly than it was this morning. I wonder if Agnes went through my things ,like my pink journal on the dressing table. I rarely write in it these days but I used to write in it regularly before Dad died. Like when I had my first kiss from a girl-popular Gabriel who ended up broadcasting to the whole school that I forced him to kiss me. That bastard,I was just on my own ,packing up my books after school ready to go home. When he came in ,engaged me in a chit chat and asked if he could kiss me ,it felt weird because I had never had a kiss but I said yes because as weird as I felt, I also felt thrilled. Gabriel was really cute. I wish I never said yes. Because after that time I became Merlin the dumb girl desperate for a boy. I pull off my uniform and walk through the adjoining door to my bathroom to take a shower. After shower.I watch a comedy show until I get called for dinner.

After dinner, I went upstairs to my room. I settle under the covers,switch on the TV and then change the channel to a Hollywood movie channel. The movie is about two teenagers living on a new developing planet who are in love. The male protagonist looks so handsome, tall guys are always cute. When the last scene comes to an end, the two protagonists kiss on the green sand with red leafed trees around them and strange little birds like peacocks flying around. I switch off the TV and sleep off. I think the night lasted for an hour ,because the next hour I opened my eyes, my alarm clock began to buzz annoyingly.

I step down from my bed ,I kneel and try to pray , ever since dad died it has been difficult for me to. After the short hurried morning prayer, I stand up and notice my day wear and sporty trousers and sneakers already laid out on the chair. I didn't notice when mum came in ,or it could have been Agnes.I walk into the shower and have a long nice shower. I don't have to do anything ,living in Lagos is so much better. Sometimes I have these very bad thoughts, if Dad hadn't died mum may have never gotten the job, she would have been stuck as the personnel manager at that small NGO , Helping hands where she worked at Port-harcourt. Stepping out wet and drooping, I dry my body and apply lotion on my skin. The skin I got from my father is almost yellow like a banana peel but has this "brownish" color about it. I slip into my sporty T-shirt ,pink with blue stripes and then step into a dark blue sporty trouser ,drawing it all the way up. From my sock and undie drawer I take out my favorite socks. I have had it for a year now. It is black and has two horizontal white stripes but pink at the sole. When my feet are warm in my socks , I put on my pale pink new sneakers ,and tie the glittery laces into a bow. It doesn't look perfect but it looks quite good. Out of my accessories drawer ,I bring out my box of ribbons with different colors for girls, that's what the carton says. Mum bought it the weekend we got here and went wardrobe shopping. I tie my black long braids(with extensions) with a cute white ribbon with pale pink dots into a ponytail. I take out my lip gloss and apply them. I look good ,but not as good as the girls in PGCSS. I begin to pack my books into my bag , mum comes in.

"Good morning mum" I don't look up at her, I am still arranging my bag.

"Good morning" mum replies with a smile. She looks so much better now,this is so much different from "mourning her" ,in black satiny smelly dresses. Right now mum is in a mauve skirt and a white blouse with short sleeves and low white pumps. The black curly short wig she has on suits her so well.

"Breakfast is ready" mum says. I put in the last book ,and zip up my bag as she walks outside and I follow her downstairs, Agnes is setting the table.

"Good morning" I say to her as I sit ,she replies with a smile as she drops the bowl of custard in front of me. She looks so young and pretty , she doesn't look like she is fit to be a maid. I look up , mum is sitting opposite me and watching me.

"Aren't you eating breakfast?"

"No,trying to lose weight "

I shrug ,and continue to drink with my spoon. Mum is chubby but not fat ,I don't think she needs to lose weight.

After I am done with the custard,I grab my bag. I hear the clink of mum's heels as she walks out.

"So ,I am not going to pick you up right?,because of the group study session that Daniella girl told me about, right?"

"Well ...I could walk home with them, they both live in this estate too"

" Okay ,just be careful "

"I will, mum thanks"

And then we fall silent ,for the rest of the drive ,until we get to school. Mum hands me another one thousand naira note.

"I love you" she says ,and gives me a peck. I feel embarrassed, sort of. She always does this at Standard,but this is a new fresh start. I didnt care back at Standard, because being accepted at school was already an impossibility. Then she hugs me from the car. I feel so uncomfortable and awkward.

Two girls, from some other class, stare at us as they pass by. Mum withdraws ,her eyes are moist. She wipes at the little drop of tear that found its way out despite the control she was trying to have. I stare at her dark fingers as she wipes the tears away, Dad's wedding ring and engagement ring glistens on her fingers in the early Sun's ray. Why does she still wear that? I try to portray a confused look to her ,but she doesn't see it ,she just keeps on staring endearingly.

"Bye mum"

"Bye dear"

I turn around and walk into school, without looking back. Mum has to move on ,she can't keep wearing his ring. I walk up to my locker ,take my keys from my bag ,open up my locker and shove my bag into it. I take out my literature notebook and the recommended book for the term, Lonely flower, a really depressing book about a teenage orphan girl. The author's picture next to the blurb looks really good though, her white teeth and well done makeup and caramel brown skin goes well with the black hard cover of the book.

"Hey"

I turn around, Daniella is looking all big and busty in her blue daywear and white sporty trousers. She has a big smile on, she looks so cute.

"Morning, Daniella" , I give her a friendly smile.

Daniella takes her note book and we walk down the hallway together.

"So,we have chemistry, I am going on to the lab" she says and takes the left. I walk in ,there are nine students offering literature. I take my seat and immediately the literature teacher comes in. She looks quite elderly and has this pious look about her, she is dressed like Umbridge in the Harry Potter movie.

"Bring out your Lonely flowers please" she says in a subtle voice and sits behind the teacher's desk. I imagine all nine of us bringing out white daisies,like the one on the cover of the book. I almost chuckle. The literature teacher gives me a stern look and suddenly there is nothing pious about her face. She clears her throat, takes up her book and starts flipping through pages. The class is so quiet. The flipping sounds so loud. Everybody starts flipping. The noise is harmonious.

She adjusts her hat and begins reading,"Chapter two. Doris decided to leave the orphanage...."

Her voice sounds so siren ,I think I might fall asleep.

" Why don't we try something different, like porridge today?" Daniella says to Dave as we walk to the cafeteria.

"No...." Dave says.

"What do you think?" Daniella looks up at me.

"Well, maybe we should add salad to the spaghetti", I say.

They are gradually becoming my friends, I have never had a friend. I knew this school would be better. It feels so good having a say too.

"Salad sounds good," Dave says. As we step into the cafeteria. Which is still scanty, I spot the pink table.

"Why don't we sit here?"

Dave and Daniella look up at each other.

"We had better not," Dave says.

"Yh,this is Teni's throne," Daniella adds.

Pink is my favorite color.I want to sit on the chair. Besides, Teni doesn't really belong to her.Even if it did she said we could be friends right?

"Don't worry '' I say and sit . Daniella gasps and everyone looks at me ,they have this surprised look on their faces. Teni and Dammy walk into the cafeteria ,I wave to them ,but they don't wave back. An angry look appears on Teni's face. She stops at the pink seat.

"How dare you?"

Wait,this is confusing. She said we could be friends.

"Teni..."

"Shut up, and get up now, you don't sit without permission ,that's what you should know about, new fish in the water."

I am about to stand up when Teni grabs a plate of spaghetti from a bald boy passing by and then dumps it on me. The whole cafeteria gasps. Teni pushes me down and she and Dammy take their seats. Dammy looks down at me with sympathy. Daniella runs to me."Are you okay?"

"Yes,I am" ,she helps me up and leads me outside.

"That girl is a complete witch", Daniella seethes.

"Is that really how she always is? "

"Well, yes she is just like Priscilla"

We step into the bathroom. I step in front of the mirror, I look like a disaster. Actually I am a disaster. I am dumb,and I sat on a seat ,I wasn't supposed to. And I don't have any hope of doing well in my WAEC and JAMB exams. I sigh. A long strand of spaghetti falls into the sink.

"Take this", Daniella hands me her brown handkerchief.

" Thank you so much" ,I say as I take the handkerchief from her.

I switch on the tap and then place the handkerchief underneath it, until it is soggy wet. Daniella removes the spaghetti from my shirt and hair. I clean my shirt with the already soggy handkerchief.

Someone knocks on the door.

"Are you guys there?I can't come in" ,Dave says.

"She is fine and we are cleaning up" Daniella shouts.

"Sometimes I think girls like Priscilla and Teni are just plain witches pretending to be students," Dave says.

"That tall ugly thing. She thinks she looks pretty" Daniella says,she is still picking up spaghetti from her hair, while I wipe at my shirt.

"She looks pretty" ,I say because it is very true.

"No she doesn't" ,Daniella says and then holds my shoulders tight in a comforting manner, "anybody who messes or bullies my friend is not pretty"

I feel so touched. I have friends.

This school is still so much better ,I might have been bullied just now, but at least. I feel so grateful that I have people to clean me up and say comforting words to me.

By the time I am done. There is a giant red stain on my shirt. I wash my hair under the tap. I just hope my hair doesn't smell. I would have to use the hair dryer when I get home. Daniella packs my hair into a ponytail. I look into the mirror, my face wet and dripping. Even my hair is dripping. I still look like a disaster. But I am not a disaster, I have friends who care about me and who will help me study.