Chapter 4 Erica's worries

Erica looked bitter and worried at the same time.

She could hear her heart pounding loudly in her chest.

Her hands trembled beneath her clothes as she kept them hidden there.

Her eyes were clogged with invisible tears of pain and fear.

It has always been like that, especially when she was upset, nervous or anxious.

Erica walked into her room and shut the door.

Her legs felt weakened at the thought of the words of her father concerning Joan which I couldn't understand.

"Why would dad want me to stay away from Joan? My own sister?" She thought aloud.

She sighed.

Her mind was gradually getting drowned in lots of miserable thoughts of the past, the childhood trauma which wouldn't stop hunting her.

She shook it off, thinking about her mother have always been the worse thought.

Erica threw her self on her bed covering her warm face with her hands.

After a while, she withdrew her hands from her face grabbing tight on the soft flowered sheets covering ber bed.

She could feel her rough breaths crashing nonstop with her wild thoughts.

"I don't know what to believe anymore" she said.

Erica sat up on the bed running her hands through her hair. e

"Dad and Joan sound so weird, everyone around me is beginning to seem guilty to me" she said almost at the verge of crying.

She felt totally lost in the midst of the whole mess.

She took a deep breath.

"Maybe their is something no one is telling me" she said.

Erica stood up pacing her room slowly "if my mother truly suffered a mental illness, why would my father deny her medical treatments? He is too kind to be that heartless but all the same, I can't understand how a mentally ill mother can be kind to one child and cruel to the other, none of this makes sense to me, what are they hiding?"

She sighed nodding her head.

"Someone is definitely lying, they are hiding something from me but how am I supposed to find out when I am left in the dark?"

Erica wanted someone to bring her into the light and make me see things the way they truly are and not the way they want her to see it.

A soft knock came at the door.

Andrew was knocking...

Erica knew it was her father, she knew what he wanted to do, walk in to her room and tell her that everything is fine perhaps advice her to stay away from Joan and expect her to be obedient and do exactly what he wants.

She walked over to her wardrobe getting a red dress out which she had bought last week.

"Come in dad" she finally said when he didn't stop knocking.

He walked in closing the door behind.

Erica looked up at him and then looked away.

His handsome face looked pale and cold.

Andrew still looked handsome even at his age, most times people mistake him to be in his late thirties.

He dug his hands into his pockets.

"Erica whatever I do or say, it's just for your own good" he said.

"For years I have longed to know why my mother hated me so much" Erica said throwing clothes out of her wardrobe in anger.

She threw her hands up in the air "why can't you be honest with me dad and stop playing with my head?"

He stared at her "I told you she was just abusive for nothing."

I gaped "are you really sticking to that lie father? damn! Dad I'm a grown woman now, whatever it is I can take it down and quit babying me, tell me exactly what you all are hiding."

He shook his head "no one is hiding anything from you Erica, that is the truth."

"Then why didn't you tell me that mother suffered from a mental illness? Why are you asking me to avoid Joan?" Erica asked looking bitter.

He swallowed hard.

She noticed the way his throat moved.

She kept quite allowing him think his answers through, maybe he could grant her an opportunity to know the real truth.

She moved over to her bed and sat down supporting her jaw with her hands.

He walked over and sat beside her.

"Joan has spent years with your mother, I am afraid your mother might have influenced her negatively" he said.

Erica chortled "dad you are funny, if you care so much about Joan getting influenced by mother, why didn't you stop mother from taking Joan that day? You only stopped her from taking me, why?"

She fixed her glare on him, of course Erica needed answers to her questions.

This whole thing is beginning to sound and look strange to her, she couldn't understand the whole thing anymore.

"I can't stop her even if I wanted to" he answered.

"Why dad? You don't care about Joan just like mother never cared about me?" She asked peering at his face.

"Both you and mother were busy choosing favorites instead of raising us right and together" Erica yelled.

He shook his head in disagreement "that's not true Erica, no day passed by without me thinking of Joan, I love you both."

She stood up "You're complicated dad, all of you are so complicated and no matter how hard I try to understand you all, I still just can't. "

Andrew looked depressed, he felt frustrated by Erica's words.

He sighed looking up at her face while he remained sitted "honey their are somethings that you would never understand and their are some words that are better left unsaid."

Erica stared at him wondering what he was driving at.

She shurrged, it was totally obvious that he would say nothing different or new to her.

"I guess you're going out soonest, take good care of yourself, I will be in my room" he walked closer to her and kissed my forehead.

Erica could feel it, his hands were trembling as he held her head. "What exactly is going on?" Erica thought.

"Was I born into a mysterious family or what?" She said looking totally pale.

Andrew left her room leaving her clothed in the darkness of her empty thoughts.

She shook my head, she wasn'tready to allow her family drama ruin the rest of her day.

The thought of Liam's warm lips crushing hers crept into her mind.

She smiled sheepishly touching her red lips.

Erica couldn't wait to throw herself on his body and allow him wrap his hands around her dulcet hips, Erica was crazy about him.

She has been dating Liam for a year now after her last break up with her silly ex.

Erica have always been so unlucky with love and relationships.

The popular saying that pretty girls always gets hooked up with the wrong guys and was definitely true in her life.

Finding the perfect man have always been like searching for a needle in a hay sack for her, a totally impossible mission not until she met Liam who made her smile again after that asshole of her boyfriend broke her heart.

Her ex was called Justin but she was fond of calling him candy.

At first he was sweet and nice to her not until she found out months later that he was married with kids, Erica couldn't believe it but it was the truth.

She felt like a complete fool, she got in a fight with him and almost smashed his head with a flower vase that moment when saw the picture of his wife, kids and wedding ring in his wallet.

He tried to lie his way through but Erica was not ready to fall for his cheap, horrible lies, at least not anymore.

Erica walked into the bathroom and made the water in the bathtub as warm and soapy as possible, she wanted to have a real bath and prepare her mind to meet my man.

She soaked her body into the soapy water and lay there for minutes with her eyes shut.

She sat up and scrubbed her body slowly.

Few minutes later...

She was done with her nice princess bath, that was what she calls it.

She felt fresh and totally refreshed.

Quickly she dried up her skin properly with a towel and found her way to the dressing table.

She applied her milky body lotion slowly on her skin, massaging every inch of it deep into her skin.

Erica loved it's fragrance, it smelt like rose soaked in honey.

Erica enjoys taking care of herself hoping that some day the scars of the cigarette burns on her skin would finally disappear.

Each time she took a bath, she gets reminded of her horrible childhood days.

She hated the feeling of having to remember those terrifying days but if she must forget it, this means that she would have to stop taking care of herself which is totally impossible for someone like her.

She wore the red dress, it looked perfect on her, revealing her figure eight curves.

Erica had this sexy looking body with long legs, deep down in her, she knew so well that she would do well in the modeling industry if she should apply cause she is beautiful.

She powdered her face slowly.

She applied other makeups to her face and at the end of the day, her lips were shimmering just the wayshe loved it.

She combed her long blonde hair, they were so straight and silky, she had only trimmed it thrice since she was born yet it's length was close to her hips.

Her body spray was always the last thing she touched once she us done dressing up.

Erica picked it up and lavished a large quantity of it on her body.

She stood in front of the mirror shaking her shoulders.

She laughed with so much delight as she praised her beautiful self.