Chapter 5 IGBANE RETURNS HOME

Christmas passed and then came a new year. There was still fear and tension in the country as months flew by, and in our home, we were changing too. Not for better, but at least not for worse which wasn't far off if we continued in this way. Eating twice was being rationed. You divide your food into two halves so you can eat one mid-day and the other at night. It became clear Nna had no savings, the little he had didn't even last us through the season of festivity.

He now went to the market himself to buy whatever we needed, not because he wanted to but because he felt he knew how to buy good foods and could price heaven and earth with the market women, and importantly, he didn't want Nne to gain a kobo from buying food stuffs. It occasionally bounced back on him as he would buy less quality products and even cheated in most cases. I remember having followed him one day to buy yam, I couldn't tell if he was pricing or telling the woman his condition so as to be pitied and buy at a lesser price, it rarely ever works. We all were sick of this new attitude; it was more frustrating to Nne.

It was mid-June; Nna hadn't said anything about my schooling, from the way it seemed he didn't even care. Three months since school had resumed and I was still home. I wanted to go make new friends, and importantly I wanted the opportunity to see Ivie, hoping she would have found the money for her fees.

I met Nna in the parlor listening to the immobile radio, I wondered what he was listening to for I heard nothing.

"Nna," I called his attention.

He didn't look at me. He just continued tuning the radio hoping to hear any broadcast. He had been doing that since May 30th after news broke that the governor general of the east had declared Biafra. The news didn't come as a surprise to him, not since when Ojukwu had been advocating for secession. The man made it worse when he ordered all Igbo's to come back to their native lands, deported and banned non Igbo's residing in the east. His declaration even triggered Igbo's who were in the military to abandon their pledge to the country and come home. He was building an army, Nna believed so and so did the federal military, that's why they created twelve states from the four region. The country didn't want to believe in the eventuality of war, they were too pious and believed Nigeria was a peaceful country and that such violence could not occur. Not Nna, he believed otherwise.

"Nna," I called, "you still haven't said anything about my school, they've resumed and I'm still at home."

"Don't you listen to the news? Soon, there will be no school to go to," he still didn't look at me; his attention was fixed on the radio.

"But Nna, they didn't say anything about a war or something of some sort, the man only declared themselves as Biafra's and that doesn't change anything," I said grudgingly.

"And that doesn't make you think the federal military government won't order a retake of those states? It is criminal for a group to go against a country and declare themselves a country inside another country. It's illegal and illegitimate of them."

"Even if they do Nna, it's between the North and the east; it has no business with the mid-west."

"That's what is killing us in this country and will continue to if care is not taken," Nna retorted irately. "It affects every one of us whether we like it or not."

I stayed quiet for some seconds but I wasn't thinking about what he just said.

"Okay Nna, I'm not arguing we won't be affected. All I am asking for is tuition fee so I can resume," I finally made my point instead of dilly-dallying and letting him use me to discuss the politics of the nation.

"And so you want me to get the money where?" he retorted. "From the job I've lost or from what I borrowed for us to feed?"

"You can-

"Can do what," he interrupted, "tell me enh, can do what? My friend let me tell you, it's not a must I send you to school, my own father didn't, I trained myself and you are not too young to do same."

I didn't know what to say, I just stood there staring at him in ambivalence. Why now, why me? This was my chance to have a normal life, make new friends and maybe even see Ivie again and he was not willing to help me achieve them. Nne warned me not to put all my trust and hope in him, in no man, but I did and before me were all the hope and trust I built crumbling down.

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Days had swept passed and I still haven't wiped away the disappointment on my face. I almost cried but didn't, men don't cry or at least I don't. I thought about what I would miss if Nna eventually didn't pay my fees, I would miss the most-getting the chance to see Ivie once again. I wasn't going to give up, not just yet.

I started for the parlor only to meet him talking to Igbane, I wasn't expecting anything less, not since the breaking news that General Gowon had ordered the military to retake the eastern region, "before their secession madness got out of hand" according to Nna's words. I sat opposite them for Nna to see my face and know that I was worried and he can ask me my problem and I would write him a full page of my pain.

"If care is not taken, this is the beginning of a civil war," Nna told Igbane with full confidence.

"I think so too," Igbane replied still mulling. "I think Ojukwu had underestimated the man in power, believing he's a gentle and compassionate leader and would not retaliate."

"Hmmmm!" the idea trickled Nna's mind. "You have a point there. Especially knowing his rank seniors that of Gowon,"

"Well let's watch and enjoy the coming war," Igbane said amusingly.

I kept my gaze on my brother wondering if he was the same person or a different Okafor, he literally is but he was changing and I could feel it. He had a ravishing hunger for anything violence, especially since Nna began telling him war stories.

"Nna," Igbane called. "I've been thinking. This would be the best time to join the Nigerian army."

"Why do you think so?" Nna asked.

The questioned stunned me. Stunned was an understatement, I was dumbfounded. What surprised me more was Nna's reply. He seemed more in support of the idea. Nne would kill them both, Nna especially.

"The federal government has responded to Ojukwu's call back home by ordering the Northern soldiers to go back to their various states to do their military duty leaving us the mid-west open to harm's way."

"You have a point."

"I could enlist and increase our defense," said Igbane

"Are you sure that's what you want, you might want to think about-"

Nne rushed in and interrupted Nna.

"Think what, enh Di! What should he think about? You better not corrupt my son," she rushed to where Igbane was and dragged him out from Nna's hold as if Igbane was complaining.

I had not seen Nne this way in a long time, "this has gotten to its limit" she must have said to herself as she rushed to drag him away.

It was a bit anomalous to watch Nne react that way, the last time she heard her husband talking to her son about war, she warned him and ordered Igbane to go to his room, promising not to talk about the matter again, "I'll fold my hands and watch you both fool yourselves, if I warn you about this matter again call me a fool, I'll keep my silence," she hissed and left.

That was last week. I guess she has come to realize that it was too grave a matter for silence to prevail. He is her last son, losing him would only bring her fresh pain having once lost a child to miscarriage and her father to village community war. Keeping quiet wasn't mother-like. Silence sometimes could be foolish. Nne most times believed in silence but not in this case, silence becomes ineffective when an action which you had kept quiet over and did nothing still threatens you, then one must look for other ways to resolve the issue.

She turned to face Igbane who seemed to be boiling as a result of her action, he wanted to walk out the door and Nne grabbed him by the ear and squeezed it.

"If I hear you talk about joining the military again, I'll show you I'm still your mother," she let go off his ear and hissed.

Igbane moved closer to the door, looked at Nne grudgingly and shouted "You are not my mother," then left.

Nne was shocked, everybody was. She turned around to look at Nna as if to say 'see what you caused,' then she looked at me sitting at the edge of the chair seemingly moved by what my brother had said. She looked at me again, and this time I could see the water in her eyes, she was lost, confused, broken and needed fixing.

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Two days after the incident in the parlor and Igbane is nowhere to be found. Everyone could not sleep for those nights; his disappearance was sudden even to Nna himself. Nna and Nne quarreled and shouted over the issue, with Nne accusing him of not being a decent father to Igbane. Nne could not stop thinking he would go do something foolish, something that would change the course of his life, like joining the army. For those days, Nna did not eat well, not that there was enough food to eat anyways but his irresponsibility got the better of him, he could not forgive himself and even if he wanted to, Nne had warned that if anything happened to her son she would never forgive him.

"Do you have an idea where your brother might have gone to?" Nna asked me that sunny afternoon after Nne had gone in search of her last son.

"No," I replied. Nna left looking helpless, I could see the frustration in his eyes, the plea in his soul, but he would say nothing about it, he was too proud to. The next day made matters worse, her fear had become real, Nna's prediction was playing out as he had assumed.

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Benin was glowing with pride in celebration of the fourth anniversary of the creation of mid-west. The morning dew settled neatly on windows and green grasses, fog quickly gave way to the delighted men and women of the city as they were quick to walk upon dawn in its prime. I heard Nna say there would be an open celebration at ring road, where the city's tradition would be displayed and drinking men would find pleasure with their bottles in the open without fearing their wives rebuke.

The city was bright and colorful, and our home was entirely the opposite. Nne barely ate anymore, she even spoke lesser than normal and this worried me but not Nna, he was more worried her cooking has reduced and therefore his eating, so he disturbed Ndidi to do the cooking. Poor Ndidi, the memory of rape still hunts her.

Nne had gone out in search of her son, Ndidi wanted to follow her but Nna had ordered her to prepare her Nne concoction rice, so I followed in her place. Nne walked with grief written all over her face, her dressing alone reflected her mood.

Nne kept on berating about her husbands' irresponsibility as we went from street to street scorning for Igbane. She one time stopped, faced me and in a threatening tone asked: "Are you listening to all what I'm saying? You better kill that laziness in you so you won't turn out to be like your father," she faced the road back and we began walking then she hissed and said "nonsense." I was forced to smile.

We began asking people if they had seen Igbane after having given his description, and this we did to every passerby we came across on the road as we moved, yet, no one replied positively, then eventually one did say he had seen him some days back heading towards Evotubu and Nne was hopeful. We immediately started towards that direction, she kept on cursing Nna as we walked on saying he better prays she finds her son today. I doubt if he was even concerned, "Igbane is a man now," I believe he must have said to console himself.

Nne's legs walked fast; her feet carried her in a way that awed me. She wore a new zeal to mean all or nothing. We kept on the direction when suddenly something went wrong. Men and women from that direction began to run backwards. Nne held me tight just in case I wanted to join them and run backwards, so we kept walking forward while those ahead of us were running backward.

"Nne don't you think we should ask one of this people running what is going on and what they are running from," I suggested.

"Who do you think would answer you? We have a mission to find your brother and we will," she replied adamantly as we moved.

"What if-" I was about to ask when we heard sporadic gun shots in the air. This time Nne didn't think twice, she joined the running crowd but held onto my hand tightly, she wasn't going to lose another son, not for anything.

"Run faster," she shouted.

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It was hard to believe the rumors moving round the city. Nna turned on his radio wanting to hear for himself but there was nothing. Baba Rotimi and his family ran into our house saying in case the Biafran's came searching house by house, we should beseech on their behalf so they won't be hurt. It didn't take long; Mr. OyIgbo and his family too came into our house with the same kind of plea. Nna didn't want to believe it was Biafra, he claimed it was impossible after Baba Rotimi claimed he saw them Igbo soldiers with his very eyes, troupe into the city in large numbers and began shooting into the air.

"That can't be," Nna argued.

"I'm telling you what I saw with my korokoro eyes and you still doubt me?"

"Just seven weeks back, the mid-west said they would be kept free from active operations in this matter unless where necessary. How can we now be brought into this power tussle?" Nna questioned. He looked at me and asked "What is today's date?"

"July the ninth," I answered. He still doubted and wanted to check the calendar for himself.

"Papa Ikenna," Mr. OyIgbo called. "This is no time for us to be talking politics, just promise us if worse comes to worse you will vouch to your Igbo brothers on our behalves."

"I'm not even in support of their agitations so I can't," Nna replied.

"Ha!" Iya Rotimi shouted with both her hands on her head, it was the Yoruba way of gesturing when something goes wrong. They were the worst set of people to be around when there was trouble-they are fear personified.

Nne sat at one corner careless of what was being said. She was in tears, if the rumors were true, her son was missing and there has been an invasion in the city, he was in more trouble and if not careful, dead. Ndidi sat close to her and cuddled, she too was helpless but wasn't saying much about it, actually, she never said much about anything since her misfortunate incident. We had God to thank that people didn't hear about the incident, how would she have been able to walk around the city without her head facing down.

I peeped through the window to check again if the gate was locked as Iya Rotimi had instructed. The tension in the house was building; the terror in the city was amassing, we didn't know what was happening, in all I silently prayed for my brother's safety and I was sure Nne and Ndidi did same too. One thing was sure, our fate had changed and so has that of the mid-west.

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Three days later, people began to go to their various place of work though still cautious and having at the back of their mind that an AK-47 gun was literally pointed at them. It was still perplexing, the reason for the invasion. Some claimed it was in retaliation to the federal governments attack on Nsukka, some say the Biafran's were trying to make a statement, while others believe Benin isn't their target for they are just passing through. If the latter was the case, they were becoming comfortable in the town instead of preparing to leave. Nna thought differently, he's opinion was calculated and probably right.

"This people don't know what they've done," he said unequivocally.

"What have they done?" Nne asked getting tired of his unrest about the attack. They both were at opposing ends in what they supported. Nna was for the federal military government and Nne wasn't for any reason going to abandoned her peoples cause.

"I could tell you what their thoughtless action could lead to. First, it will push the federal military government to declare a full scale war, and secondly it undermines the neutrality and peaceful role to be played by the mid-west,"

"And will that help you get your son back?" Nne asked angrily. "Have you not heard they are unleashing terror on people, and that even our governor escaped by sheer luck and intelligence of major Ogbemudia? Is that not enough to feel your son out there is not safe?"

"Woman!" Nna called "Please don't disturb me with your-

"I will disturb you and there is nothing you can do. Bring me back my son and you will have your peace back.

Nna wanted to say something, but reconsidered. He turned to look at me with a sigh to mean 'a woman was trouble when things were not going as expected'.

"I am doing all I can and we will find him" Nna assured her.

She hissed then said: "Better be sure," she walked away.

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Nothing was the same anymore not since the Biafran's invaded our peaceful city. The serene air we used to breath has been poisoned by the whiff of gun powder that now dances in the air every time they shot into it. They had become power in the town oppressing civilians who went about their daily duties. As the day passed, we became certain that they were here to stay and not passing by to Ibadan as people had earlier suggested. This was a declaration of war from them and they were forcing the federal military governments' hand to be stained with blood, and as days went by we hoped the government would respond but nothing, hope was all we had left. Hope.

It was no longer news of how an attempt was made on Governor Ejoor's life but failed. The conspiracy behind the attack was beginning to leak and this made indigenes feel there was a division inside the Biafra's army. As telltales have it, Colonel Banjo an Ojukwu's stooge led the invasion on the city but unknown to him, Lt. Col. Ochei a mid-west Igbo officer was given a specific mission to attack the Government house and unluckily for him, Major Ogbemudia had changed guard details overnight thereby removing the plot soldiers and so the mission failed. The secrecy of that mission we believed would sooner or later cause a misunderstanding between the leader of the invasion and the governor of the east. It was all still a hope, adding to our long list of hopes.

With the emergence of Albert Okonkwo as the military governor of the Midwest came his initiating of a dusk to dawn curfew on the city. It probably wasn't a bad idea until it became political. Only indigenes with passes were allowed to move freely at night, and people who weren't Igbo were molested, beaten and in cases of women-raped. Their major targets were the Hausa's and it was all in retaliation to the 1966 anti-Igbo pogroms.

To an extent one is forced not to blame them when seeing things from their point of view. The blood of between ten to thirty thousands of Igbo's living in the North were spilled and fed to the hawks to drink from May to September last year. Notwithstanding, theirs was extreme.

It became worse when these soldiers barged into houses to do whatever they like and no one could stop them; they were the ones with the gun and we with the hope. First, they began searching for Igbo's in the city, forcing them especially those with siblings in Enugu the Biafra capital to sign and call for merger with their relatives in the East, compelling them to donate transport materials to Enugu to assist in the war effort.

Secondly there was shortage of meat because all its northern sources had been cut off. As if it wasn't enough, there arose shortage of salt due to it being rationed because of its importance for explosives. What heightened it all was the fact that not many were affected by these shortages; we the poor suffered it all. It didn't take much intelligence to know that such would lead to resentment and resentment would cause some form of resistance, which in turn would help our cause but until then, we suffered the discrimination.

I, Nna and Mr. OyIgbo sat in our living room discussing the matter. Nna hadn't stop speaking with less fierceness about the torment and horror of the new life we're been forced to live. He spoke and defended the federal military government in such a manner that one would think he was a retired military officer, not knowing he was more no less a bloody civilian like the rest of us.

"The way you hope and speak of the federal military government, one would think you communicate secretly with them, or do you?" Mr. OyIgbo asked Nna.

"Do I need to do that before I know that their arrival is looming? Common sense," he replied the man rather cold. Osaro's father didn't care what he sounded like; he just wanted some form of hope in what Nna was telling him. "Do you actually think the FMG would sit back and let their state be stolen from them in broad daylight? Especially now that the Biafran soldiers have declared Albert Okwonkwo as the military Midwest administrator, they won't. That declaration is a slap on the federal military government," Nna spoke reassuringly. He kept on answering his tenant as they kept on searching for hope, then suddenly from out the blue, someone showed up on our door step, entered the house with a rather ambivalent look. Ndidi who was coming out of her room at the time paused and then broke the silence as she shouted.

"Igbane!"

Igbane turned towards his sister and let out a broad smile. She ran and jumped on him without caution.

"Nne, Nne," she kept on shouting, "Igbane has come."

Nne came out her room with less excitement in her eyes but her face eking with expectation, and then she saw Igbane and jumped on him. She spent a minute embracing him while we all watched in excitement of seeing him. We didn't notice what he wore until Nne slowly let go off him keeping her eye on what he was wearing and we all did same.

"What are you wearing?" Nne asked.

He kept the smile on his face and took a look at what he was wearing as if he had no idea, and with pride in his voice said "uniform!"

"What uniform is this? She asked again with more curiosity in her voice.

"The Nigerian army uniform," he answered. "I'm a soldier now."

Nne waited for the words to sink in her ears as she repeated them slowly, and to our surprise-she fainted.

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"Can you see what you have led our son into?" Nne asked her husband. "First he disappeared then came back in uniform, now he steals away in the middle of the night to where I don't know and return days after. Won't you warn him to be leery of these beasts parading the streets?"She sat down on the chair in the parlor were Nna was meditating. It was there he sat mulling over what I don't know, and there he would sit till the day runs out. I would occasionally come to check on him. I came down that afternoon to hear Nne warning than talking to him. It was her first time in a long time to do so. It was easy for us to tell that she hasn't forgiven Nna for pushing her last born to joining the army. Nna argues he didn't force the boy but his wife would hear none of that, she blames him. He argued about it no more. It was difficult to change the heart of a woman once she has an idea planted in it.

"So what do you want me to do?" he asked backed with a raised voice and impatience that faded before he finished talking. He was rarely ever angry, most especially at women. I remember him always warning us when we were young to never hit a woman; he says 'it is a weak man that exercises his power on a woman.' They are the weaker vessels as the bible tells us. Igbane always wondered how Nna had managed all these years not to hurt a hair on Nne's head especially considering her mouth.

"I am just telling you my own. If anything happens to my son you won't find it funny."

"When haven't I found it funny since the day he went missing?" Nna retorted.

I stood by the doorway evaluating Nna's words. I realized that he missed his wife especially her cooking. There wasn't a day that Ndidi cooked his food that he didn't complain. Not that she wasn't a good cook; no, far from it, but Nne's food was better.

I had heard enough and wanted to go back to my room when precipitously there was a bang on the gate that caught everybody's attention.

"Who is that fool that doesn't have gate in his compound and wants to destroy mine?" Nna shouted looking that way. "Go and check he ordered me."

I moved as fast as possible because I could tell his wife had made him impatient and he was looking for who to exercise his anger upon, I wasn't going to be the scapegoat, I'd rather he takes it out on the man that banged open the gate.

'Who could that be?' I wondered. It didn't take me long to find out as I ran back shouting "Nna, the beasts from the east are here, the devils themselves have come."

I dashed and hid behind the chair. Nne stood to see who it was only to realize it was some Biafran soldiers that banged open the gate and were headed straight to our house.

Christmas passed and then came a new year. There was still fear and tension in the country as months flew by, and in our home, we were changing too. Not for better, but at least not for worse which wasn't far off if we continued in this way. Eating twice was being rationed. You divide your food into two halves so you can eat one mid-day and the other at night. It became clear Nna had no savings, the little he had didn't even last us through the season of festivity. He now went to the market himself to buy whatever we needed, not because he wanted to but because he felt he knew how to buy good foods and could price heaven and earth with the market women, and importantly, he didn't want Nne to gain a kobo from buying food stuffs. It occasionally bounced back on him as he would buy less quality products and even cheated in most cases. I remember having followed him one day to buy yam, I couldn't tell if he was pricing or telling the woman his condition so as to be pitied and buy at a lesser price, it rarely ever works. We all were sick of this new attitude; it was more frustrating to Nne.

It was mid-June; Nna hadn't said anything about my schooling, from the way it seemed he didn't even care. Three months since school had resumed and I was still home. I wanted to go make new friends, and importantly I wanted the opportunity to see Ivie, hoping she would have found the money for her fees.

I met Nna in the parlor listening to the immobile radio, I wondered what he was listening to for I heard nothing.

"Nna," I called his attention.

He didn't look at me. He just continued tuning the radio hoping to hear any broadcast. He had been doing that since May 30th after news broke that the governor general of the east had declared Biafra. The news didn't come as a surprise to him, not since when Ojukwu had been advocating for secession. The man made it worse when he ordered all Igbo's to come back to their native lands, deported and banned non Igbo's residing in the east. His declaration even triggered Igbo's who were in the military to abandon their pledge to the country and come home. He was building an army, Nna believed so and so did the federal military, that's why they created twelve states from the four region. The country didn't want to believe in the eventuality of war, they were too pious and believed Nigeria was a peaceful country and that such violence could not occur. Not Nna, he believed otherwise.

"Nna," I called, "you still haven't said anything about my school, they've resumed and I'm still at home."

"Don't you listen to the news? Soon, there will be no school to go to," he still didn't look at me; his attention was fixed on the radio.

"But Nna, they didn't say anything about a war or something of some sort, the man only declared themselves as Biafra's and that doesn't change anything," I said grudgingly.

"And that doesn't make you think the federal military government won't order a retake of those states? It is criminal for a group to go against a country and declare themselves a country inside another country. It's illegal and illegitimate of them."

"Even if they do Nna, it's between the North and the east; it has no business with the mid-west."

"That's what is killing us in this country and will continue to if care is not taken," Nna retorted irately. "It affects every one of us whether we like it or not."

I stayed quiet for some seconds but I wasn't thinking about what he just said.

"Okay Nna, I'm not arguing we won't be affected. All I am asking for is tuition fee so I can resume," I finally made my point instead of dilly-dallying and letting him use me to discuss the politics of the nation.

"And so you want me to get the money where?" he retorted. "From the job I've lost or from what I borrowed for us to feed?"

"You can-

"Can do what," he interrupted, "tell me enh, can do what? My friend let me tell you, it's not a must I send you to school, my own father didn't, I trained myself and you are not too young to do same."

I didn't know what to say, I just stood there staring at him in ambivalence. Why now, why me? This was my chance to have a normal life, make new friends and maybe even see Ivie again and he was not willing to help me achieve them. Nne warned me not to put all my trust and hope in him, in no man, but I did and before me were all the hope and trust I built crumbling down.

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Days had swept passed and I still haven't wiped away the disappointment on my face. I almost cried but didn't, men don't cry or at least I don't. I thought about what I would miss if Nna eventually didn't pay my fees, I would miss the most-getting the chance to see Ivie once again. I wasn't going to give up, not just yet.

I started for the parlor only to meet him talking to Igbane, I wasn't expecting anything less, not since the breaking news that General Gowon had ordered the military to retake the eastern region, "before their secession madness got out of hand" according to Nna's words. I sat opposite them for Nna to see my face and know that I was worried and he can ask me my problem and I would write him a full page of my pain.

"If care is not taken, this is the beginning of a civil war," Nna told Igbane with full confidence.

"I think so too," Igbane replied still mulling. "I think Ojukwu had underestimated the man in power, believing he's a gentle and compassionate leader and would not retaliate."

"Hmmmm!" the idea trickled Nna's mind. "You have a point there. Especially knowing his rank seniors that of Gowon,"

"Well let's watch and enjoy the coming war," Igbane said amusingly.

I kept my gaze on my brother wondering if he was the same person or a different Okafor, he literally is but he was changing and I could feel it. He had a ravishing hunger for anything violence, especially since Nna began telling him war stories.

"Nna," Igbane called. "I've been thinking. This would be the best time to join the Nigerian army."

"Why do you think so?" Nna asked.

The questioned stunned me. Stunned was an understatement, I was dumbfounded. What surprised me more was Nna's reply. He seemed more in support of the idea. Nne would kill them both, Nna especially.

"The federal government has responded to Ojukwu's call back home by ordering the Northern soldiers to go back to their various states to do their military duty leaving us the mid-west open to harm's way."

"You have a point."

"I could enlist and increase our defense," said Igbane

"Are you sure that's what you want, you might want to think about-"

Nne rushed in and interrupted Nna.

"Think what, enh Di! What should he think about? You better not corrupt my son," she rushed to where Igbane was and dragged him out from Nna's hold as if Igbane was complaining.

I had not seen Nne this way in a long time, "this has gotten to its limit" she must have said to herself as she rushed to drag him away.

It was a bit anomalous to watch Nne react that way, the last time she heard her husband talking to her son about war, she warned him and ordered Igbane to go to his room, promising not to talk about the matter again, "I'll fold my hands and watch you both fool yourselves, if I warn you about this matter again call me a fool, I'll keep my silence," she hissed and left.

That was last week. I guess she has come to realize that it was too grave a matter for silence to prevail. He is her last son, losing him would only bring her fresh pain having once lost a child to miscarriage and her father to village community war. Keeping quiet wasn't mother-like. Silence sometimes could be foolish. Nne most times believed in silence but not in this case, silence becomes ineffective when an action which you had kept quiet over and did nothing still threatens you, then one must look for other ways to resolve the issue.

She turned to face Igbane who seemed to be boiling as a result of her action, he wanted to walk out the door and Nne grabbed him by the ear and squeezed it.

"If I hear you talk about joining the military again, I'll show you I'm still your mother," she let go off his ear and hissed.

Igbane moved closer to the door, looked at Nne grudgingly and shouted "You are not my mother," then left.

Nne was shocked, everybody was. She turned around to look at Nna as if to say 'see what you caused,' then she looked at me sitting at the edge of the chair seemingly moved by what my brother had said. She looked at me again, and this time I could see the water in her eyes, she was lost, confused, broken and needed fixing.

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Two days after the incident in the parlor and Igbane is nowhere to be found. Everyone could not sleep for those nights; his disappearance was sudden even to Nna himself. Nna and Nne quarreled and shouted over the issue, with Nne accusing him of not being a decent father to Igbane. Nne could not stop thinking he would go do something foolish, something that would change the course of his life, like joining the army. For those days, Nna did not eat well, not that there was enough food to eat anyways but his irresponsibility got the better of him, he could not forgive himself and even if he wanted to, Nne had warned that if anything happened to her son she would never forgive him.

"Do you have an idea where your brother might have gone to?" Nna asked me that sunny afternoon after Nne had gone in search of her last son.

"No," I replied. Nna left looking helpless, I could see the frustration in his eyes, the plea in his soul, but he would say nothing about it, he was too proud to. The next day made matters worse, her fear had become real, Nna's prediction was playing out as he had assumed.

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Benin was glowing with pride in celebration of the fourth anniversary of the creation of mid-west. The morning dew settled neatly on windows and green grasses, fog quickly gave way to the delighted men and women of the city as they were quick to walk upon dawn in its prime. I heard Nna say there would be an open celebration at ring road, where the city's tradition would be displayed and drinking men would find pleasure with their bottles in the open without fearing their wives rebuke.

The city was bright and colorful, and our home was entirely the opposite. Nne barely ate anymore, she even spoke lesser than normal and this worried me but not Nna, he was more worried her cooking has reduced and therefore his eating, so he disturbed Ndidi to do the cooking. Poor Ndidi, the memory of rape still hunts her.

Nne had gone out in search of her son, Ndidi wanted to follow her but Nna had ordered her to prepare her Nne concoction rice, so I followed in her place. Nne walked with grief written all over her face, her dressing alone reflected her mood.

Nne kept on berating about her husbands' irresponsibility as we went from street to street scorning for Igbane. She one time stopped, faced me and in a threatening tone asked: "Are you listening to all what I'm saying? You better kill that laziness in you so you won't turn out to be like your father," she faced the road back and we began walking then she hissed and said "nonsense." I was forced to smile.

We began asking people if they had seen Igbane after having given his description, and this we did to every passerby we came across on the road as we moved, yet, no one replied positively, then eventually one did say he had seen him some days back heading towards Evotubu and Nne was hopeful. We immediately started towards that direction, she kept on cursing Nna as we walked on saying he better prays she finds her son today. I doubt if he was even concerned, "Igbane is a man now," I believe he must have said to console himself.

Nne's legs walked fast; her feet carried her in a way that awed me. She wore a new zeal to mean all or nothing. We kept on the direction when suddenly something went wrong. Men and women from that direction began to run backwards. Nne held me tight just in case I wanted to join them and run backwards, so we kept walking forward while those ahead of us were running backward.

"Nne don't you think we should ask one of this people running what is going on and what they are running from," I suggested.

"Who do you think would answer you? We have a mission to find your brother and we will," she replied adamantly as we moved.

"What if-" I was about to ask when we heard sporadic gun shots in the air. This time Nne didn't think twice, she joined the running crowd but held onto my hand tightly, she wasn't going to lose another son, not for anything.

"Run faster," she shouted.

----------------------------

It was hard to believe the rumors moving round the city. Nna turned on his radio wanting to hear for himself but there was nothing. Baba Rotimi and his family ran into our house saying in case the Biafran's came searching house by house, we should beseech on their behalf so they won't be hurt. It didn't take long; Mr. OyIgbo and his family too came into our house with the same kind of plea. Nna didn't want to believe it was Biafra, he claimed it was impossible after Baba Rotimi claimed he saw them Igbo soldiers with his very eyes, troupe into the city in large numbers and began shooting into the air.

"That can't be," Nna argued.

"I'm telling you what I saw with my korokoro eyes and you still doubt me?"

"Just seven weeks back, the mid-west said they would be kept free from active operations in this matter unless where necessary. How can we now be brought into this power tussle?" Nna questioned. He looked at me and asked "What is today's date?"

"July the ninth," I answered. He still doubted and wanted to check the calendar for himself.

"Papa Ikenna," Mr. OyIgbo called. "This is no time for us to be talking politics, just promise us if worse comes to worse you will vouch to your Igbo brothers on our behalves."

"I'm not even in support of their agitations so I can't," Nna replied.

"Ha!" Iya Rotimi shouted with both her hands on her head, it was the Yoruba way of gesturing when something goes wrong. They were the worst set of people to be around when there was trouble-they are fear personified.

Nne sat at one corner careless of what was being said. She was in tears, if the rumors were true, her son was missing and there has been an invasion in the city, he was in more trouble and if not careful, dead. Ndidi sat close to her and cuddled, she too was helpless but wasn't saying much about it, actually, she never said much about anything since her misfortunate incident. We had God to thank that people didn't hear about the incident, how would she have been able to walk around the city without her head facing down.

I peeped through the window to check again if the gate was locked as Iya Rotimi had instructed. The tension in the house was building; the terror in the city was amassing, we didn't know what was happening, in all I silently prayed for my brother's safety and I was sure Nne and Ndidi did same too. One thing was sure, our fate had changed and so has that of the mid-west.

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Three days later, people began to go to their various place of work though still cautious and having at the back of their mind that an AK-47 gun was literally pointed at them. It was still perplexing, the reason for the invasion. Some claimed it was in retaliation to the federal governments attack on Nsukka, some say the Biafran's were trying to make a statement, while others believe Benin isn't their target for they are just passing through. If the latter was the case, they were becoming comfortable in the town instead of preparing to leave. Nna thought differently, he's opinion was calculated and probably right.

"This people don't know what they've done," he said unequivocally.

"What have they done?" Nne asked getting tired of his unrest about the attack. They both were at opposing ends in what they supported. Nna was for the federal military government and Nne wasn't for any reason going to abandoned her peoples cause.

"I could tell you what their thoughtless action could lead to. First, it will push the federal military government to declare a full scale war, and secondly it undermines the neutrality and peaceful role to be played by the mid-west,"

"And will that help you get your son back?" Nne asked angrily. "Have you not heard they are unleashing terror on people, and that even our governor escaped by sheer luck and intelligence of major Ogbemudia? Is that not enough to feel your son out there is not safe?"

"Woman!" Nna called "Please don't disturb me with your-

"I will disturb you and there is nothing you can do. Bring me back my son and you will have your peace back.

Nna wanted to say something, but reconsidered. He turned to look at me with a sigh to mean 'a woman was trouble when things were not going as expected'.

"I am doing all I can and we will find him" Nna assured her.

She hissed then said: "Better be sure," she walked away.

----------------------------

Nothing was the same anymore not since the Biafran's invaded our peaceful city. The serene air we used to breath has been poisoned by the whiff of gun powder that now dances in the air every time they shot into it. They had become power in the town oppressing civilians who went about their daily duties. As the day passed, we became certain that they were here to stay and not passing by to Ibadan as people had earlier suggested. This was a declaration of war from them and they were forcing the federal military governments' hand to be stained with blood, and as days went by we hoped the government would respond but nothing, hope was all we had left. Hope.

It was no longer news of how an attempt was made on Governor Ejoor's life but failed. The conspiracy behind the attack was beginning to leak and this made indigenes feel there was a division inside the Biafra's army. As telltales have it, Colonel Banjo an Ojukwu's stooge led the invasion on the city but unknown to him, Lt. Col. Ochei a mid-west Igbo officer was given a specific mission to attack the Government house and unluckily for him, Major Ogbemudia had changed guard details overnight thereby removing the plot soldiers and so the mission failed. The secrecy of that mission we believed would sooner or later cause a misunderstanding between the leader of the invasion and the governor of the east. It was all still a hope, adding to our long list of hopes.

With the emergence of Albert Okonkwo as the military governor of the Midwest came his initiating of a dusk to dawn curfew on the city. It probably wasn't a bad idea until it became political. Only indigenes with passes were allowed to move freely at night, and people who weren't Igbo were molested, beaten and in cases of women-raped. Their major targets were the Hausa's and it was all in retaliation to the 1966 anti-Igbo pogroms.

To an extent one is forced not to blame them when seeing things from their point of view. The blood of between ten to thirty thousands of Igbo's living in the North were spilled and fed to the hawks to drink from May to September last year. Notwithstanding, theirs was extreme.

It became worse when these soldiers barged into houses to do whatever they like and no one could stop them; they were the ones with the gun and we with the hope. First, they began searching for Igbo's in the city, forcing them especially those with siblings in Enugu the Biafra capital to sign and call for merger with their relatives in the East, compelling them to donate transport materials to Enugu to assist in the war effort.

Secondly there was shortage of meat because all its northern sources had been cut off. As if it wasn't enough, there arose shortage of salt due to it being rationed because of its importance for explosives. What heightened it all was the fact that not many were affected by these shortages; we the poor suffered it all. It didn't take much intelligence to know that such would lead to resentment and resentment would cause some form of resistance, which in turn would help our cause but until then, we suffered the discrimination.

I, Nna and Mr. OyIgbo sat in our living room discussing the matter. Nna hadn't stop speaking with less fierceness about the torment and horror of the new life we're been forced to live. He spoke and defended the federal military government in such a manner that one would think he was a retired military officer, not knowing he was more no less a bloody civilian like the rest of us.

"The way you hope and speak of the federal military government, one would think you communicate secretly with them, or do you?" Mr. OyIgbo asked Nna.

"Do I need to do that before I know that their arrival is looming? Common sense," he replied the man rather cold. Osaro's father didn't care what he sounded like; he just wanted some form of hope in what Nna was telling him. "Do you actually think the FMG would sit back and let their state be stolen from them in broad daylight? Especially now that the Biafran soldiers have declared Albert Okwonkwo as the military Midwest administrator, they won't. That declaration is a slap on the federal military government," Nna spoke reassuringly. He kept on answering his tenant as they kept on searching for hope, then suddenly from out the blue, someone showed up on our door step, entered the house with a rather ambivalent look. Ndidi who was coming out of her room at the time paused and then broke the silence as she shouted.

"Igbane!"

Igbane turned towards his sister and let out a broad smile. She ran and jumped on him without caution.

"Nne, Nne," she kept on shouting, "Igbane has come."

Nne came out her room with less excitement in her eyes but her face eking with expectation, and then she saw Igbane and jumped on him. She spent a minute embracing him while we all watched in excitement of seeing him. We didn't notice what he wore until Nne slowly let go off him keeping her eye on what he was wearing and we all did same.

"What are you wearing?" Nne asked.

He kept the smile on his face and took a look at what he was wearing as if he had no idea, and with pride in his voice said "uniform!"

"What uniform is this? She asked again with more curiosity in her voice.

"The Nigerian army uniform," he answered. "I'm a soldier now."

Nne waited for the words to sink in her ears as she repeated them slowly, and to our surprise-she fainted.

--------------------

"Can you see what you have led our son into?" Nne asked her husband. "First he disappeared then came back in uniform, now he steals away in the middle of the night to where I don't know and return days after. Won't you warn him to be leery of these beasts parading the streets?"She sat down on the chair in the parlor were Nna was meditating. It was there he sat mulling over what I don't know, and there he would sit till the day runs out. I would occasionally come to check on him. I came down that afternoon to hear Nne warning than talking to him. It was her first time in a long time to do so. It was easy for us to tell that she hasn't forgiven Nna for pushing her last born to joining the army. Nna argues he didn't force the boy but his wife would hear none of that, she blames him. He argued about it no more. It was difficult to change the heart of a woman once she has an idea planted in it.

"So what do you want me to do?" he asked backed with a raised voice and impatience that faded before he finished talking. He was rarely ever angry, most especially at women. I remember him always warning us when we were young to never hit a woman; he says 'it is a weak man that exercises his power on a woman.' They are the weaker vessels as the bible tells us. Igbane always wondered how Nna had managed all these years not to hurt a hair on Nne's head especially considering her mouth.

"I am just telling you my own. If anything happens to my son you won't find it funny."

"When haven't I found it funny since the day he went missing?" Nna retorted.

I stood by the doorway evaluating Nna's words. I realized that he missed his wife especially her cooking. There wasn't a day that Ndidi cooked his food that he didn't complain. Not that she wasn't a good cook; no, far from it, but Nne's food was better.

I had heard enough and wanted to go back to my room when precipitously there was a bang on the gate that caught everybody's attention.

"Who is that fool that doesn't have gate in his compound and wants to destroy mine?" Nna shouted looking that way. "Go and check he ordered me."

I moved as fast as possible because I could tell his wife had made him impatient and he was looking for who to exercise his anger upon, I wasn't going to be the scapegoat, I'd rather he takes it out on the man that banged open the gate.

'Who could that be?' I wondered. It didn't take me long to find out as I ran back shouting "Nna, the beasts from the east are here, the devils themselves have come."

I dashed and hid behind the chair. Nne stood to see who it was only to realize it was some Biafran soldiers that banged open the gate and were headed straight to our house.