Chapter 3 We Both Dream

I stand beside a medium sized white bookshelf near the open window of the living room. I look at a small silver picture frame in the bookshelf. It is a photo of Mallory riding her new pink bicycle. She wears white sleeveless top, purple leggings and pink slippers. And her black hair is neatly pulled on a ponytail with some baby bangs falling on her forehead. As she genuinely smiles for the camera, she shows two of her missing teeth at the upper front of her mouth. She was 4 years old when the photo was taken. And it is the first time she learns how to ride a bicycle.

I smiled and pick a book from the bookshelf. I hold a book and a cup of tea with both hands.

I sit on the big brown couch which is pretty old. Obviously the leather of the couch is not in a good condition. You will see that the coffee brown leather of the couch is nearly torn out. And there are some white cracks coming out from the surface of the couch. And you bet, it is the only couch we have for a family of two plus a dog. This couch is older than Mallory, maybe four or five years older than her. I know I should replace it with new couch when I get extra money. Extra money, I thought, everybody's dream is to win the lottery. And winning the lottery is only an imagination for me.

I hold a book, The Time Traveler's Wife. The cover of the book shows a girl wearing black knee length dress and black school shoes with long white socks. And beside the girl is what looks like a red picnic cloth, with neatly folded man's clothes and shoes on top of it.

I read through 269 pages of the book. I have watched the movie like years ago, and I honestly think movies often tell the story a little differently as compared to the book version. Just like Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember, the story is somehow dissimilar as compared to Mandy Moore's movie version of the book.

I look at the cover of the book again, Time Traveler's Wife. Just what if one can leap through time? I watch how the smoke which comes from the cup of tea floats into the air. What if time brings me back years ago before I had Mallory? I am sure I don't want to not have her, even when she is naughty and needy most of the time. I blow the thin white smoke which comes from the cup. Or what if I can fast forward to see what kind of life there will be for us? I wish we'll be rich in the future. I deeply exhaled, I honestly know that an eight hour job cannot make me rich. And it's sad.

I drink from the cup, the tea tastes like burnt leaves with a funny earthly smell. Maybe now it is not perfect but it's fine, at least we are fine. I am thankful that I still have a job despite the pandemic. And the most important thing is that Mallory and I are healthy. I wonder when this pandemic will ever end? I pray this pandemic will end soon, people have suffered too much already.

I exhaled deeply and reached for the remote control. I turn on the television. 'The public are warned against the spread of Corona Virus also known as Covid 19.' 'Due to the Covid 19 pandemic lockdown has been implemented in numerous countries and territories worldwide.' 'As of now there is no known medicine against Covid 19.' said the news anchor.

I came to realize how my life hasn't really changed with the pandemic. Am I really that anti social?

March 16, 2020, President Rodrigo Duterte: "I have come to the conclusion that stricter measures are necessary. For this reason, pursuant to my powers as President under the Constitution and RA 11332 (Law on Reporting of Communicable Diseases), I am placing the entire mainland of Luzon under quarantine until April 12, 2020."

I hold a tray of food, looking for a table where we can have a good view of the television. The pantry is almost empty anyway with less people showing up in the office because of the fear from Coronavirus. 'We can sit here.' I said to Peter, my co-worker and best friend who is more introvert than I am. He is my best friend and we don't talk that much. Peter either follows what I say or ignores me, and most often he ignores me, but this time he follows me. He wears blue tattered jeans and a brown sweatshirt. He is about 5'3 feet tall with fair skin tone and there are some freckles on both his cheeks.

I put down my plate on the table. My plate contains half a cup of rice, roast chicken and some vegetables on the side.

'What happened to your favorite spot beside the window?' he said looking in the other direction. 'Sit.' I said. `We have to watch the news, they might send us home early today.' He sits beside me as he breaks my chicken into pieces and puts some into his mouth. He continues to chew as he hides some of his black hair behind his ears.

'Want some pork?'

'I'll take some.' I said. 'Did he said until April 12?'

'Yes.' he said. 'Adios, and see you on April 12.'

'That's more than 3 weeks,'

'Yeah,' he said. 'So plan ahead what you want to do.'

'What about you?'

'Chill and drink.' he said. 'I will renovate our house.'

'That's so you.'

'What about you any plan?'

'Maybe more quality time with Mallory.'

'That's just right.'

I stand with the crowd waiting for the traffic light to change. I watch the number of vehicles passing by. 6:00pm, the traffic already looks heavy with numbers of cars and motorcycles on the road.

There is a green bus passing in our direction. I notice how the bus is overloaded with passengers that some people even remain standing inside the bus.

I observe a number of people waiting on the other side of the road. People here, people there and people everywhere, all wearing face-masks. And it is something new to see everybody wearing face masks since it is not Japan or Korea. The temperature here is so warm that you may not want to cover your nose and mouth. And yes, Covid 19 is what everybody didn't see coming in a very hot country like the Philippines. When Covid 19 spread in China, I wrongly judged that the virus would not survive in countries with hot temperatures. And that is very wrong because the virus threatens us now.

28 seconds before the traffic light turns to green. I can almost imagine as soon as 28 seconds is over a big pack of zombies are waiting to take over the city. Crazy, indeed. 27days of quarantine, I need to store some food and other basic needs. The traffic light changes color and we cross the pedestrian line. Yeah, that's right I need to drop by the grocery store.

**The entire Luzon was placed in Enhanced Community quarantine from March 16 to April 12, 2020.

'Earphone,' he said and I plugged a piece of the bluetooth earphone to his right ear, while I got to use the other pair.

'Spotify,' I said. 'What would you like me to play this time?'

'What else do I like to listen to?'

'Kings of Leon?'

'Of course.' he said.

During our 8 hour shift we both will listen to his favorite band, Kings of Leon. And that made me fall in love with their songs too.

'Hey would you like to eat later before going home?'

'Yes,' I said. 'What you got?'

'Bread.' he said. 'We can share some croissants.'

'That's nice.' I said. 'I have here fresh milk we can share too.'

14th February 2020, 7:20 PM most people left the office. I sit next to Peter as we share some food. 'Here take this,' he said as he pulled two pieces of bread inside a small brown paper bag. I pierced the tetra pack of milk using a straw. I sipped a little and handed him the milk. He drank from the same straw I used and continued to chew his food.

I purposely looked at his jacket while I chewed food. His brown jacket has a hole at the end of the sleeve where his thumb would like to pop out. I just couldn't tell him the air conditioner makes me shiver with cold.

'Why are you looking at my favorite jacket?'

'Nothing,'

'Okay,'

'Ask me again?' I said looking at the jacket he was wearing while I rubbed my hands against my arms. 'Can I borrow your jacket?'

'No,' he said and laughed. 'Wait for me here.'

I watched him hurried to his locker and he quickly returned with an extra t-shirt. 'Here, put this on top of your shirt.'

'Thanks.' I said. 'One more thing,'

'What?'

'I forgot my lip balm at home, the air conditioner makes my lips dry.' I said. 'I need to borrow yours.'

He handed me a green ChapStick while he pouted his lips at me and laughed.

We walked quietly side by side outside the office building. We didn't say much. A simple walk enjoying this comfortable silence on a cold February night.

The End

By Kings of Leon

Running with the street lights

Laughing at the grave

He swears he's gonna give it up

It's never gonna be enough

I just wanna be there

When you're all alone

Thinking about a better day

When you had it in your bones

This could be the end

This could be the end

This could be the end

This could be the end

I see you in the evening

Sitting on your throne

You're playing with a fireball

And post it up against the wall

I just wanna hold you

Take you by your hand

And tell you that you're good enough

And tell you that it's gonna be tough

This could be the end

This could be the end

This could be the end

This could be the end

'Cause I ain't got a home

Running from the streetlights

Shining on her grave

Once you had the good stuff

Never gonna fill you up

I wanna be the one who

Gives them my world

And gives them all the feeling of it

Just a little taste of it

This could be the end

This could be the end

This could be the end

This could be the end

'Cause I ain't got a home

I'll forever roam

No, I ain't got a home

I'll forever roam

'Cause I ain't got a home

I'll forever roam

No, I ain't got a home

I'll forever roam

I ain't got a home

I turn off the television and make my way to the bedroom. The walls and ceilings of the bedroom are all painted white. And the floor is covered with light brown wood. I lay on the bed covered in light blue sheets. I lay with five pillows in total plus Mallory's big brown stuffed animal, and which she calls Bear-Bear.

I pull out my mobile phone and play a song on Spotify, All I have To Do is Dream, because lately I have been dreaming. My dreams are not bad though, but somewhat weird. 'Dream, dream, dream' 'When I want you in my arms.'

I look at the open window in one corner of the room. And I remember I had this dream about a man who sits beside me. In my dream he gives me small yellow flowers together with a letter. I was reading his letter when the dream came to an end. And when I woke up I could not remember what I read from his letter. Strange dream, perhaps.

I watch the wind burst through the open window, as it makes the yellow curtain hover gently. 'When I want you and all your charms' 'Whenever I want you, all I have to do is dream, dream, dream.' Outside the window, the sky turns a little darker and the sun is about to set very soon. When will this lockdown ever end? And what happens before the lockdown, clearly I remember. I close my eyes and vividly recall that day.

I cross the pedestrian lane and walk past the busy crowd. I was sent early from work due to the implementation of the quarantine.

I work as a writer in a small British outsourced company located in Muntinlupa City. I write reviews about books and movies and also articles based on a variety of subjects requested by the clients. These clients are either from publishing companies or universities.

I wear a tiny yellow dress and white sneakers. I hurried to the nearest supermarket to buy some bread, milk and biscuits. And strange how people do panic buying in fear that soon there will be a short supply of goods because of the lockdown.

I went to the shelf containing medical supplies like alcohol, vitamins, cotton and some other stuff. Unfortunately they run out of stocks of alcohol and vitamin C, quickly as that. You will see shopping carts and baskets loaded with essential goods like bottled water, soaps, tissue and mostly food. I see long ques of shoppers waiting for their turn at the cashier.

I push a shopping cart loaded with goods; from canned goods, cup noodles, breads, cheese and pancake mix to detergent soaps, bath soaps, shampoos and also boxes of green teas, coffee, brown sugar and creamer and lastly dog food and shampoo.

I walk from cashier 1 to cashier 10 but there are long queues everywhere, including the basket lane. And yes, the line is worse than Christmas shopping.

I stand next to a woman in her fifties, I guess. She wears a blue shirt and white shorts. 'Ma'am,' I said, tapping her back where her curly dark brown hair lay on her shoulders. 'Is it okay if I leave my cart here, I just forget to get something.' 'Sure,' she said, and I think with those chinita eyes of hers she is smiling friendly, although I can't be sure since she is wearing a face mask, well everyone is wearing a face mask.

As I left my cart next to her I thought to myself; How can I live 3 weeks without facial toner and moisturizer? A woman like me should always take care of herself, while taking care of her child and making money. A little skin care routine won't hurt my budget. I stand before the shelf containing different types of facial toners; charcoal, aloe vera, rose petals and lemon. Which one of these? I picked up the toner with aloe vera and right away returned it to the shelf. I made my choice, charcoal.

'Michael, thank God you made it.' I said to an old friend whom I asked a favor. 'Can you take these 3 boxes of groceries and drop them at my home?'

'Sure,' he said. 'Are you not coming?'

'I still have somewhere to go,' I said. 'Aunt Grace and Mallory are at home.'

I observe how busy and worried people are surely because of the lockdown. I want to take one more look at the city before things change, or should I say before things get worse. I walk a few blocks away from home.

All I know is that night when the city is very busy and people are worried, I come across a man. He rides a red bicycle. He pedals slowly passing my direction and I see his face without his face mask on. He smiles at me until I watch him go away. It is strange, I think I dream of this moment before it actually happens. He is beautiful, it's true. But I never see him again.

I listen to the song still playing on my mobile phone until I fall asleep dreaming. 'I can make you mine, taste your lips of wine, anytime night or day.' In my dream I could not sleep. I maximize the volume on my mobile phone and I pretend to sleep. And suddenly I feel something appear beside me on my bed. Something motionless with human-like weight. I'm afraid that a thief will break into my room. How could it be? The thief lays with me on the bed. What if he is a maniac?

In my mind I count; one, two and three. I collect myself and think of ways to protect myself. Should I run and hide? Or with this close distance should I attack first before I run and hide? I count again one, two and three before I open my eyes. And when I open my eyes, I am awake from a dream. I look beside me and figure out that the bed is empty. I am positive there is no thief, it is just me and all these pillows. And it is such a comfort to know it was just a dream.

I sit on the bed and stretch my arms. I breathe out from my mouth and look outside the open window. The sun has just risen. I see a cloud which floats like a huge cotton in the bright blue sky. And yellow sunlight hits and passes through the green trees so dazzlingly.

I step out of the bed and my bare feet hit the wooden floor. I walk to the bathroom and stand in front of the mirror looking at my reflection. My uncombed hair falls lightly on my shoulders.

Out of nowhere my eyes grow big in surprise to see a silhouette of a man who walk pass behind me. My body automatically turn around with my elbow ready to hit first. But as soon as I turn around he is gone. I stood there motionless for a few seconds, and I did not see the silhouette of a man again. Maybe it's just my imagination, hopefully it is.

21st February 2020, 5:00 PM I sit on a couch near a glass window inside the pantry. From the glass window I watch how the rain pours. Since our office is located on the 16th floor of the building, I have a very nice view of the rain from here. The rain water drops slowly, and they are white like snow carried by the wind fearlessly. They say it is bad weather, but not for me. I always fall in love with the rain.

'Just look at this video I found on Facebook,' Jenny said. She wears black shirt and pants with her signature thick eyeliner. She has black straight hair down to her waist. And she has medium brown skin tone. She sits beside me watching a video from her mobile phone. 'Is that in the UK?' I asked. 'Yeah, I'm not sure though if it's in Italy or Spain.' she said and sipped from her cup of coffee.' We watch a self made video by a guy who is currently experiencing lockdown in a foreign country. 'Covid 19 is real and it's here.' he said. 'They declare a lockdown and we are not allowed to go out of our houses. The government brings necessities at our door, mostly food, like potatoes and carrots.' he added. 'But we cannot leave the house, and I can't even ask for a single razor.'

21st February 2020, 1:00 PM I dragged my chair to Jenny's working station so I could have a small chat with her.

'Hey I am finished with my 6th article,' I said. 'Hurry up, finish yours so we can talk.'

'I'm sorry Irina but it is not a good time.' she said with her eyes fixed on the monitor. 'I'm having a bad day actually.'

'What happened?' I said. 'Whenever you're ready to tell me I'm just here.'

I was about to drag my chair back to my workstation when she spoke.

'I was ghosted.'

'What?'

'This guy forced himself into my life.' she said, turning her head to me. 'He was kind, and he made me feel like he cares about me.'

'Then what happened?'

'I don't know.' she said as she tapped her fingers on her table. 'Everyday he would talk to me until he just stopped. He won't respond to my chat messages, and he won't even answer my calls.'

'Oh Jenny,' I said, tapping her back gently.

'It would be nice if he'd just give me closure.' she said. 'Or at least give me a reason.'

'At least now you know he is not for you.' I said, 'Don't worry, later let's go to the 17th floor for a coffee, just you and I.'

21st February 2020, 5:30 PM Jenny stopped playing the video from her mobile phone. We both watched the rain pouring outside the glass window of the office pantry. Drops of water stick on the glass for a short while before they slowly slide and disappear. The rain made the glass turn blurry. All I can see is the rain continuously pouring outside.

'I am an only child.' she said. 'And my mom and dad separated when I was very young.'

'Did you grow up with your mom?'

'With my grandma,' she said. 'My mom, she barely has time for me.'

'Where is she?'

'She works abroad and she remarried, as well as my dad.' she said gently tapping her finger on the table. 'Don't you ever leave Mallory, she needs you.'

'I know.' I said leaning my head to her shoulder. 'Thank you.'

I went to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. The walls and ceilings in the kitchen are painted white, and the floor is covered with white tiles. At one corner placed a medium size white fridge next to the sink. There is a black oven beside the sink. And above the sink situated the two built-in cabinets.

I reach for the first cabinet and from it I pull a small black cup. And just like a few steps away there is a round black dining table with two chairs.

I pour water into the tea kettle and turn on the stove. Suddenly the telephone begins to ring. I rush to the living room and pick up the telephone.

'Hello,'

'Mama, I will be home tonight.' Mallory said. 'I miss you mama.'

'I miss you too baby,' I said. 'See you tonight, I love you.'

'I love you too, mama.' she said. 'Let's read story book tonight Mama,'

'Yes baby.'

'Bye Mama,'

Just when I put down the telephone, I hear the whistle sound of the tea kettle. I quickly return to the kitchen. I pour the boiling water on a cup and make myself a coffee.

I sat at the dining table with a cup of coffee for a while. I stand up and again reach for the cabinet above the sink, where I get an empty glass. I open the next cabinet to get the glass jar of powdered milk. I pour a spoon full of powdered milk in the glass and fill it with water. I walk toward the living room holding a glass of milk.

I opened the door and there I found my dog Chi-Chan. He patiently waits for me outside the door every morning. 'Chi-Chan, here's your milk.' I step outside and close the door behind me. Chi-Chan wiggles his fluffy black tail for me. He is covered with mostly black fur and some parts of him are white. He raises his two feet attempting to reach me as he gently bite my hand. I pour the milk into his food container. I watched him bend down his head and use his tongue to scoop so he could drink the milk. I gently run my hand on his head covered with soft fur.

'Mallory will be home tonight,' I said, 'So you be a good dog, okay?'

Chi-Chan looked me in the eye as I spoke with him. I truly appreciate how he keeps us company without saying anything.

I walk back to the house, and reach for the door. As soon as I open the door, again I see a shadow of a man walk past me. This is the second time, and it's probably not just my imagination. I hurry inside the house and shut the door close. My heart beat fast as I look at the window to check on Chi-Chan, and there I witness how he begins to bark at something we both cannot see. 'I swear a see a man, but where did he go?'

I reached for my mobile phone on top of the center table at the living room. I opened Facebook messenger and called my friend Catherine.

'Catherine, I think I'm seeing ghost inside our the house.'

'Hey, it's 2021 don't tell me you still believe in ghost?'

'But I encountered him twice already.'

'Him?' she said and laughed. 'See? You need a boyfriend. Even ghost pity you for staying single for so long now.'

'Cut it off.'

'What happened between you and Peter?'

'He is my best friend.'

'Is he not asking you on a date?'

'I asked him but he didn't want too,'

'Why?'

'He said it's MECQ.'

'Wait, I can't help laughing.' she said. 'You're so funny girl.'