Chapter 2 Texas it is

I was so happy to be with my mom again. I couldn't stop hugging her tight, like she could disappear from me again. I didn't want to talk about what happened to me, because these were the worst six weeks of my life. We were sitting in the car, silently listening to music. I was so damn tired, but too stubborn to sleep.

'So, where are we going this time?' I knew this wasn't the way home and I saw the bags in the back of the car. It was time to move again. It's literally all we own. We have to move a lot, so we have not much stuff to take with us. All because this stupid curse. We have been hiding all my life and we moved like more than ten times already.

'What about... Florida?' my mom suggested.

'Neh.. Been there, done that.'

'What about Texas? I kind of always wanted to own a cowboy hat.'

'I can see you in a cowboy hat. I think it would look great on you.' I loved my mom. She is great and most of all, she is all I have. We look much alike. The brown-blond hair, blue eyes and our taste for music and Mexican food. I have no idea what my father looks like or if he's even alive and well. I don't really care. You can't miss, what you never had.

'Texas it is. But it's a long ride and we have to find a motel first. And a map. And a place that sells milkshakes. I have a huge graving for milkshakes.'

'Thanks mom.' I give her a weak smile. 'I know what you're doing.'

'Is it working?'

My smile grows wider. 'Yes, it's working.' That's my mom, always finding a way to make me feel better. She knows I love milkshakes.

We stopped at a cute little motel. Way better than most motels we've stayed in. Mom made me eat a burger with fries and we shared the biggest milkshake I had ever seen in my live. I wish life could be like this forever. But life isn't like smelly roses and sunshine.

I woke up in the middle of the night, screaming: 'No, not again. Not again. Please stop. I don't want to do it again.' I was covered in sweat. Then arms were pinning me down and I went mad. I was screaming and kicking.

'Carmen, Sssssh. It's over. You're safe. Sssssh.' Mom kept rocking me. 'Carmen, you're safe. They are not going to hurt you anymore. Ssssh.'

'Mommy.' I finally stopped struggling and cried in my moms arms. With the tears only came the memories. 'It was so awful mom. They kept cutting me, they kept testing how fast I was healing. Doctor Ben thought I was an awful brat and he kept hitting me when I wasn't coming willingly to do the tests. He broke my bones a few times. They kept on testing and testing. I told them I wasn't going to heal the last time. I literally died of blood loss. I was so weak. I could feel the life drain out of me.'

'Ssssh, they are not going to find you again. It's over. They think you're dead. They are never going to hurt you again.'

'You don't know that.' I cried.

'I do. I will make sure of it. We are going to start over again. Somewhere they don't know you or know your secret.' Well, that is what she said before. Look where it brought me. Right in the arms of stupid scientists. I know I can't blame my mother for what happened to me. But then again I was wondering how my mother even found this camp and why she insisted for me to go. She said it was good to make some friends, to mingle, to be a normal teenager. But I am not normal and I will never be.

'Do we have to change our names again?'

'Only for school and work. But you will always be Carmen to me.'

'I love you mom.' I sighed.

'I love you too, Honey.'

A few days had past by. We found ourselves a cute little house in a place called Hereford. I didn't bother to unpack my stuff or decorate my room. I knew we weren't going to stay here long. We never do. Anywhere.

The walls in my so called bedroom were light blue. Not really what I would choose for my room, but then again it was only temporarily. Mom found it important I finished school, so this was my last day of freedom before I had to go to school tomorrow. I had a new phone and a new agenda, all ready for school. But.. I wasn't ready. I was scared. I didn't have a good night sleep ever since they took me. I woke up more than once in the middle of the night, screaming my ass off. Mom slept most of the nights with me in my room. She kept me safe, she made me feel safe. But I was tired living like this. Always on the run, always hiding, always a new start. How could mom expect me to go to school like nothing happened? Like I wasn't cursed and have died five times? I wasn't like the other kids at school. I never would.

'Carmen? Can you come downstairs? I have something for you.' mom screamed below the stairs. I didn't want to talk to mom, but I knew she would keep shouting until I come. Sighing I stepped off my bed and with small steps I walked downstairs. 'Come sit.' mom motioned for me to sit next to her on the couch. Another item that was already in the house. All furniture actually did. We just moved in and took everything in the house over.

'What is it mom?' I asked sitting down.

'Don't be grumpy with me. You have been this way since yesterday. Is something on you mind?'

'Everything is on my mind. I can't forget.' with a groan I hid my face in my hands. 'I have a headache.'

'You didn't want the medicine I got for you. You need to sleep Carmen.' She sighed. I was stubborn like that. I didn't want to use medicine. I have used too many already. 'Here.' She placed something on my lap. 'Open it. Please.'

There was a small package laying on my lap, wrapped in cute little red and yellow flower paper. 'You didn't have to give me anything mom.'

'But I wanted you to have this.'

With a sigh I start to unwrap the little package. There was a black box inside. I lifted the top of the box. Laying in it was a silver locket with the letter C on it. I opened the locket to see a picture of me and my mom. We were smiling so bright. I remember the day we took this photo. Mom's ex-husband took us to the beach that day. We swam, we ate fish and chips and we had the most fun with the kite he got for me. He was my stepdad for a really long time. I liked him a lot. I even called him dad.

That was until I saw him fucking with another woman in his car when I was twelve. I got scared and ran away, but he chased me with his car and stabbed me in the stomach. He left me to die in an alley. When I came home after I woke up the next day, he was really surprised to see me. I can't blame him. He killed me and there I was again. He got scared of me. He thought I would tell mom what he did to me. Mom saw the tension between us. I stopped calling him dad. After a week mom sat us down in the kitchen and we weren't allowed to leave until we talked.

'Talk. Now. I can see something has happened. Talk to me.' Mom was always strong and never cried, but this time she had tears in her eyes.

I looked over to David or dad at that time. 'Will you tell her or shall I?'

David shook his head. 'It isn't possible. I saw.. I saw..'

'Mom, David was fucking my music teacher in his car. He chased me, stabbed me four times and left me to die in an alley.' I said without a care. Mom had the right to know.

'What?' she asked. Tears were falling down her face now.

'You were dead!' David screamed. 'I waited by your side. You didn't have a heartbeat when I left. You were dead!' His face was really pale, like he had seen a ghost.

'Yeah, I know! It happened before. It wasn't the first time. Bla bla. The thing is you killed me. I was a daughter to you and you killed me.'

'I was scared. I didn't want to kill you. I swear. You are a daughter to me. I never wanted to kill you. I'm sorry.' Now David was also crying.

'Get out!' Mom yelled. 'Get out!'

David was flustered, but then he nodded. He took his stuff with him and walked out. We never saw him again. Mom had us moved within a few hours. We only took the important stuff and left the rest behind. We changed our names. We started over.

I never knew David kept calling my mom over and over again. He was the reason we moved a lot. I found out after the balcony accident when mom thought I was sleeping and her phone went off. I answered the phone and it was David. After four years he still sounded the same. I sometimes dream about him too. About the happier time in my life. And sometimes I dreamed about the day he killed me.

'David?' I asked through the phone.

'Carmen.' he hissed. Yeah he still angry with me. 'You ruined my life. Were are you? I'm coming for you Carmen. I will finish what I have started. This time you will stay dead. I promise.'

I screamed and threw away the phone. I kept on screaming until mom found me. She hugged me till I fell asleep. Then we moved again. That was a few months before I went to camp. Before I died again. Had David anything to do with me dying again? I had no idea.