Chapter 4 THE BRITISH LODGE

"At the end of the day, will he take her home as his academic performance to his parents?" Alaska asked in rhetorical amusement.

"I just can't imagine how short-sighted Onoo had become. Does he not seem to read the mind of most girls like Kolia? They are after your money. They will dump you at the slightest chance on sighting someone more willing to spend more than he does," Eme added.

"The ugly part of it all is that the girl is insolent, arrogant, full of insult, and disrespectful. She sleeps about, Onoo's presence notwithstanding," Iyke voiced out strongly.

Kelvin had once again become an arbitrator. Each time disputes or misunderstandings come up, his opinions were constantly sought after. He had learned to decline his opinions in some subject matters. The more he tried to disengage himself from events revolving around him the more he finds himself wrapped around it. The likes of Peter, Alaska, Eme, and even Kristor had taken him into their confidence most of the time. This is especially the case with their relationships, family matters, social and academics challenges. He had won the trust and confidence of most of his colleagues in the lodge because of his non-partisan disposition. Kelvin tried to solve their emotional upheavals as much as he could to their delight. It came to a point; his opinion becomes the grand decider of issues in their section of the lodge. Matters had to wait till he was back from wherever he had been to settle it.

Matters are brought to his desk for speedy disposal of an amicable settlement. Even when he had traveled matters had to wait. It would not be a surprising thing to hear anyone inform him of an impending issue that needed his urgent attention. For a while, he began to ask himself what it was that makes people take him into their confidence. Why will they reveal to him what they would not let their closest friends know about?

"Kelvin, do you think it's right for him to be behaving the way he's doing?" Iyke finally asked for his opinion on Onoo.

"Well, Onoo is old enough to know what he is doing otherwise he wouldn't be in it. I think he should be left alone for the main time since he could be too blind to see his errors. Any attempt trying to reconcile him with the realities of the moment will meet with self-defensive actions. If any help is to be offered, it would be more effective if such is done from a more mature manner than publicly ridiculing him," he replied. It was obvious everyone was listening to his response. "I had personally called his attention to my observations and I knew what he told me. On the other hand, I don't think it would be wise for anybody to neglect his or her studies no matter what. I'm optimistic that Onoo understands that more than anyone of us here. This is his personal business. When the time comes, he will turn a new leaf if he was wrong with his present decision. Believe me, he would change for the better," he tried as much as possible to express his views without siding any of the parties.

Kelvin has discovered that misunderstandings are more than meet the eye. It could have risen due to other hidden issues unbeknown to anyone of them. It was not connected at all with the Kolia saga. Kolia was only a front to vent their anger. So, it had not surprised him when the four kinsmen, Iyke, Mekus, Aricoco, and Onoo resolved their differences. Things got back to normal. They started cooperating as before in spite of the Kolia saga.

It was obvious that a good number of them at one time had wanted to have a moment of intimacy with Kolia. She declined the amorous advances only for Onoo to win her heart on her own terms. The whole hullaballoo was all about their wounded pride and jealousy.

ONOO AND KOLIA

Onoo became seriously attached to Kolia than she was with him. He was determined to keep his affair with the girl no matter what. Not even the frequent sarcastic pressures and mockeries could stop him. It soon became a non-issue as the days passed by. The pressures gave way to reluctant acceptance.

However, things changed at the end of the pre-degree program. Onoo was blind to see the handwriting on the wall. He was still in love. He was not aware that the end of the pre-degree had dissolved as much as ninety percent of the ill-fated relationships.

Most of the relationships are sex-based. It was faulty and on a shaky foundation. It all had but one purpose; to meet the selfish and immediate emotional needs of those involved. It lacked that depth of real, true love in security. They were all momentary flings.

It was later told by Aricoco's roommate during the pre-degree, Bukas. Bukas later became a close acquaintance of Kelvin and also as a lodge mate when they all later enrolled into their programs proper.

Onoo utilized the break that followed the end of the pre-degree program to invest his time in some works. He was said to have saved lots of money by taking advantage of the opportunity given him by his father to manage his business. He came back more buoyant than he was during the pre-degree. He furnished his apartment to taste on getting admission into the institution. Kelvin was uncertain if Onoo was given provisional admission into the regular program. It was however told that Onoo had planned to make life comfortable for himself and for his girlfriend, Kolia. However, to his wildest shock, he met an emotionally distant girl, unlike the Kolia he once knew during the pre-degree. She treated him as cold as any girl would an unwanted overture from an unlikely suitor. It was gathered he collapsed into a bitter emotional heartbreak.

Kelvin made effort to unravel the reason behind Kolia's action. He narrowed it down to the disparity in the different programs offered by the institution; the regular and part-time programs. It appeared from his investigations that Kolia ditched Onno because he was in the part-time program, whereas she was in the regular full-time program. The second option; their relationship was no longer on the same page as it were before. She had found a better option and had to upgrade. To many people, they only need to find a plausible reason to justify their actions. It does not matter what anyone thinks about it.

Time tickled away so fast. Kelvin became conscious of the fact that he had been under the scrutiny for some time, yes, under the critical eye of the storm. He knew like the back of his palms, that one day it was going to be his turn of events. There was no way he was going to live in this promiscuous environment without a negative impact. If he escapes the ridicules for what he stood for, he will no doubt be tempted to test his mettle. In an honest appraisal of things, He also knew that his stance would not go unchallenged by those who take no for an answer. He waited patiently for the day of reckoning. While he waits, he continued to bask and enjoyed the respect that was accorded his humble self.

Out of curiosity and helpless admiration, everyone wants to be his friend and be of help to him. He gets the best of attention from anyone whom he seeks favor from. And he rarely asks but would be ever willing to share whatever that he had with whoever that cares for it. Everyone wants to borrow one or two things from him. Most end up holding on to it till he would pleadingly ask for it. Neither was he a social freak nor inept. It became a smart ploy by some female students to lure him to their rooms and lodges. This was a part of him he struggled to win over during the pre-degree program; paying female colleagues visits. For the nine months period of the pre-degree courses, he managed to enter only eight apartments out of the over twenty-roomed apartments. These were mostly those of the boy's quarters where he lived with his fellow male colleagues in the lodge.

In spite of that, he received more female visitors than he had visited. They came in their shapes and taste. Most came calling for a favor, especially on their academic problems. Others came to borrow something from him, only God knows when he is getting them back. These were to some extent fallout of his reserved nature or rather his deliberate reluctance not to pay them attention.

KELVIN AND IYKE

"Kelvin," a female voice called him as he closed the little gate of the lodge behind him. He turned around to see his roommates' girlfriend Patricia.

"Where went Iyke?" he asked her after exchanging pleasantries.

"Oh, he told me to inform you that he would be traveling and wouldn't be back till the next day,"

"Really, I hope all is well?"

"Kelvin, you should know. The guy is broke,"

"He never hinted that to me and why are you telling me if he couldn't do that himself. Did he suddenly discover his pocket flat?"

"You're asking me? Please, open the door,"

He opened the door and ushered her inside the room with the curtains drawn aside to let light rays into the semi-dark room. There was no public power supply within the area the pre-degree campus was sited except at the junction close to the asphalt road.

"Kelvin, I hope you've something to quench the gnarring hunger in my stomach," she said as she sat down on Iykes' bed.

"I would boil some rice for you. I cooked some stew in the morning before I left for class. How about that?"

"Could I survive till it's done?" she laid on her stomach with her two legs raised backward to her bosom revealing the fair-complexioned skin of her legs.

"Sure. Would you manage some biscuits? I've some cabin biscuits. I hope that would do?"

"Ok....you must have some margarine there..."

"Yeah, I still have some margarine and mayonnaises... enh, a can of Sprite," he added.

She jumped up with excitement. "Kelvin, you know some students are not equal...get me the mayonnaises instead,"

"Iyke can do more than this...moreover you're his girl. I'll always give you a special treat anytime," he said with a smile.

"Let me help you in boiling the rice," she offered as she took the packages from his hand.

"Thanks for the kind gesture. I will be kind to allow you but permit me to honor my words to give you a special treat myself,"

Kelvin was not comfortable allowing girls to cook his food on campus.

She watched him silently for a while munching the biscuits laced with mayonnaise in her mouth.

He had not for the first time brought himself to have a one-on-one interaction with her. He knew too well that she had been itching to have his attention. She was rather worried that he had not been nice or friendly with her. He had not even for one day called her by her name or had he cared to know if she does exist. Even her boyfriend felt slighted with the feeling that Kelvin did not like his girlfriend.

"You don't fancy girls, do you Kelvin?" she looked him in the eyes squarely.

"You shouldn't be here if I don't like my fellow human's male or female,"

"That's not what I meant...I mean having an affair with a girl,"

Kelvin paused before he replied. "Not seen any reason why I should get involved seriously with any girl. That's too risky an adventure,"

There was a brief moment of silence. "Why do you ask?"

She was cautious in her response, "Nothing, just curious...if you might be interested in... I mean girls,"

He moved his head from side to side. "Nope...am not into the fling thing,"

"Are you not a guy?" she was engaging him. "Maybe not like all guys,"

"Life is all about risk-taking. Yet you can have some fun between such risky ventures," she opened the caned Sprit.

"I prefer risks that are worth it. If I end up with regrets over my risky actions would that be worth the adventure?"

"You're too serious with life, Kelvin. There are calculated risks,"

"That didn't answer my question,"

"You don't find me attractive either, do you," she ignored his persistence.

Not that Kelvin had anything against her. But he had been quick in ignoring any girl that has developed the slightest glint of attention on him. He preferred cordial friendships to intimate ones. His less caring attitude towards his female fans was more a protective strategy to safeguard his heart. He was cautious at developing any emotional attachment with anyone of them including Patricia. Look at her now hitting on him for a moment of pleasure at the slightest opportunity that came her way. It was not surprising why she had chosen the opportunity. Her boo was not around till tomorrow. The lodge was as silent as a graveyard; they were the only two persons in it. But Kelvin didn't like her and her boyfriend for one reason.

He had a strong nagging suspicion that Iyke and her girlfriend had on several occasions used his bed for their sex romping match. This happens each time he had been away or traveled out. His bed was cozier and more comfortable than that of his roommate. Kelvin had no concrete evidence to prove that, yet he could not be able to wave the possibility that it happened aside as easily as that. What convinced him of such possibility was that his cream bed sheet started having tiny dotted stains on it. These grew with time. He detested such a possibility! He would not be much worried though if in his absence he slept with his girlfriend in the room but not on his bed! Heaven would let loose.

Kelvin's relationship with Iyke was anything but cordial. They cooperated quite well with each other. They had no misunderstanding except once over house rent.

When Kelvin first got admitted into the pre-degree program, he was undecided where to live. He had wanted an apartment only for himself. He found that impossible. The cost was not favorable.

He earlier had gotten a place to live at the cost of $50 per annum. It was expensive for him. He decided to opt to share the rent with another student. It was a soon-to-be-finished building. He happened to be the first person making a deposit till when it was going to be completed. It had remained only the lavatory and fittings to complete the building. He calculated how long it was going to take him to wait to live alone before he could get a roommate. He decided to look for another apartment even though he had deposited less than $10 for the new house.

The young caretaker Sunday Nwajagu defrauded him; he never refunded the deposit.

Kelvin made a change of mind on the day he was to pay up the balance for the lonely room in the lonely-newly built house. He dissuaded himself from doing so and began his search for another convenient place. He had gone into his present lodge and fortunate enough he met the Caretaker of the lodge, Papa Ugochukwu. Papa Ugo as the Caretaker was fondly called informed him of three vacant rooms yet unoccupied. There was still a room for which the occupant had paid only half the amount.

The first student had paid half the amount charged for the room. The student was agreeable to accommodate anyone who could pay up the other remaining said amount. Exactly what Kelvin was looking for.

The Caretaker asked him to pay for the remaining said amount of less than $20 per annum. Kelvin suggested he meet with his would-be roommate before committing himself. An idea that was acceptable to the Caretaker.

It was Mekus who helped him locate Iyke who to his wildest shock inflated the price of the house rent to $50.

It was common knowledge and a common practice for some students to exploit their fellow students. This is done by inflating the actual rent of an apartment. The increase could be as high as a hundred to one thousand percent after having fully secured it themselves. Then, they can give it out to whomever that was agreeable with.

Kelvin informed him about his understanding with the Caretaker. He surprisingly handed him the key to the room securely indicating he was in agreement with him.

Some months later, Iyke came around demanding him to pay him the other half of the house rent of $50. Kelvin explained to him as calmingly as he could even though he was a year his senior, that he had already settled the Caretaker. Iyke flared up in annoyance. Ordinarily, Iyke will not come around demanding non-existing money. But it was the likes of Mekus and his fellow kinfolks that pushed him into such.

Kelvin was well aware of what will soon follow in his absence. Forceful ejection from the apartment had been planned, which was not possible. Iyke only paid half the amount instead of the full amount. Paying the full amount would have given him the right to his claims at least of ejecting Kelvin if he would not pay up. But he missed the opportunity.

Iyke will not listen to reason that it was he who had made a blunder. Kelvin saw how furious the characters behind the scene that morning were pushing the matter.

Mekus together with their other two kinsmen Aricoco and Onoo were scheming to eject him out of the house in his absence. Kelvin warned him not to be fooled into thinking that it would be as easy as he was thinking. He dared them to remove a single pin of his belongings. He left and went to his classes.

The matter died a natural death after that day. They never had any misunderstanding. Except on the likely prospect of discovering that he had been sleeping with his girlfriend on his bed.

Even though their relationship was cordial and the two seemed to have things in common. Kelvin never trusted him. He was carefree with girls. At the onset, he leaves his provisions in his can-rack. To his disappointment, he discovers that Iyke makes use of them without his permission. Iyke used his provisions to entertain his friends in his absence. Kelvin was not pleased with that. He did not confront him either. He locked them up in his bags after use. He never allowed Iyke much access to his personal belongings other than he would to Kristor his friend. Later on, Kelvin discovered that Iyke smokes cigarettes. He sleeps around though he tried to mask it from him, not for too long though. Kelvin was convinced Iyke never felt happy over the developments. He tried to improve his relationship with Kelvin but for his randy disposition, Kelvin was not comfortable with him. There was this young lady in her thirties then. She was called Aunty by most students in the lodge―she was obviously well ahead in years of all the students living in the building. At first, Kelvin had taken her for an indigene of the community. Later on, he took her for a non-student maybe a trader until he was put in the clear of her status as a pre-degree student. He was doubtful at first. Well, she was rarely seen in school or in the lodge. She comes back in the company of different men in different fleets of cars owned by different men who always drop her at the entrance of the building. Some of these men spend days with her in her apartment. It was this same lady that Iyke had fancied as a sugar mummy beside his poor girlfriend. He would on so many occasions spend the night with her in her apartment. Kelvin detested that though it was none of his business, but because he never liked the lady. Even Iykes' friends and kinsmen tried to dissuade him from continuing the affair. None of them were bold enough in their opposition.

Because of his deportment to the lady, she found herself unwelcomed in their apartment, especially whenever he was around. Kelvin's rather reserved nature placed a check on her likes that Iyke kept around him. Kelvin was not trying to impose his own opinions on him nor was he unfair to him but he was only trying to protect himself and their cordiality. He would not have fancied being at loggerheads with him because of the girls. Kelvin also had his own share of the endless attention from some of these girls too.

The two were mature enough to discern what and what would amount to excesses that could bring bitter quarrel between them. They well knew what happened between Alaska and Eme. Though they were much younger and less mature, for God, sakes problems were bound to stick out its' ugly head. If some situations were not handled well with every sense of responsibility even between so-called mature men strife could be the norm.

The problem between Alaska and Eme was later resolved though. Yet its' residue was prominently visible as a barrier between the two friendly mates. They tried hard to restore the lost confidence they once had. Kelvin was made their go-between as each of them always called on him to complain over one or the other issues bothering them. He did his best to see that they were back as much as possible like before when they first came together.

He could recall that it was their estrangement that made

him a regular guest to their room. This was in his effort to see that the two get reconciled again.

Their problem was nothing but the usual misunderstanding between room-mate-using-the-other- mates-property-without-his permission. Being uncooperative over common household responsibilities etc. Apportioning blames was not to solve the problem. The two young roommates played a vital part in creating the problem.

It would be judgmental to find fault with Alaska only. Yet, he could not afford to ignore his emotional instability. Alaska was randy by nature. Apparently, the youngest male student, he had a rather impulsive character. This is besides his natural jovial disposition combined with his boyish exuberance. It was this character that endeared him to most young girls he whored around him. Prominent among these girls were―Tracy and Jane, unknown to each other.

ALASKA, TRACY, AND JANE

ALASKA

Tracy was a little below average in height just like Alaska. However, she was his senior. She was pretty with a round face, slim and fair in complexion.

In Kelvin's observation of the platonic affair, Tracy was only interested in Alaska just because of his jovial boyishness. Their friendship would go on as long as he would keep his libido in check.

The relationship swayed back and forth as would be expected. She was able to contain his persistent amorous advances. Her continuous refusal irks him. In his normal reaction, he would abruptly end the relationship for a period of time, and then he would put up an effort to restore it. Kelvin took delight in watching him.

It was obvious to Kelvin that the loss of Alaska's mother at a tender age could possibly have contributed to his impulsive nature. There could have been that emotional vacuum which he tried to fill unsuccessfully. Whenever he feels whatever, it was that disturbs him, he would immediately do whatever comes to his mind just to put off the pressure.

"They said that my mother died when I was tender," he told Kelvin one day.

"And my father...," he paused. "God bless him. He suffered all along to carter for all of us when his mother died. He never took another wife... he must have loved my mother that much to resist the pressure to take a second wife. My father was of the notion that no woman would have loved us the way he and my mother loved us. Sometimes, I wish I could grow up quickly to help ease the burdens he carries. I love him much," he added.

It touched Kelvin when Alaska revealed a little bit of his background confidentially to him. It was after this that he started regarding him from a different viewpoint. And that was an opener to him on why he seems to be acting the way he does―longing for what he had lost. It was his jovialness that made him the darling of everyone as he was always playful; a hidden ploy of what actually goes on in his heart.

It had turned out that his relationship with Tracy would not end up as normal―laying her. That left him with wounded pride and in turn, made him turn his attention to another girl by the name of Jane.

JANE

Jean was dark in complexion and average in height. She had an oval face, slim and really pretty too. She looked demure and Kelvin later discovered she was not as difficult as Tracy.

It seemed like things would continue as usual with the affair. This was not to be. She discovered there was someone else other than herself―Tracy

TRACY

"This boy, so this is where you live," she'd exclaimed one certain evening emerging out of the room with Alaska. "Where is your room?" she asked.

"See his room next door to mine," it was Kristors' voice that replied.

"Really?"

"How do you do?" Kelvin found his voice.

"I am doing fine. What is it you're doing?" she climbed the stairs.

"Just working on your boys' portrait," he replied. "Mine―oh―mine. You're simply good at drawings.

You can draw well?"

"He's quite fantastic," replied Alaska starting to feel uncomfortable with the progress of the discussion.

"I didn't ask you, Alaska," she objected to him.

"It's just the simple truth. Can't you see the portrait he did on himself," replied Alaska as he picked up the penciled portrait Kelvin did on himself.

"That's beautiful. You're truly a born artist,"

"He's the best I'd ever seen," replied Alaska. He tried to push himself into the discussion at least to command the flow of the interaction. Kelvin knew Alaska was a bit uneasy that he seemed sidelined in his presence by his own girl.

"What's that your name?" Kelvin pretended no knowledge of her name.

"Tracy and yours?" "Call me Kelvin,"

"He's quite a good guy and my man too," Alaska added glancing from him to her.

"I really like you Kelvin but for one thing," she was saying.

"What could that be?" He asked looking straight into her beautiful eyes.

Kelvin had a weapon of mass attention. That was a confession he must own up. It seemed to be something in his looks that make people stop their breath in awe. The female folks enjoy the brief moment of attention he gives with that eye contact. He had found out the effects of looking straight into the eyes of anyone he's conversing with. So, it seemed to get the best out of the person as he or she feels the commanding effects of his attention. He would deliberately avoid unnecessary eye contact with girls which to his surprise had been misunderstood as a sign of callous ignorance of their feelings.

"You don't seem to acknowledge people when you met them on the road," she replied. She maintained her fixed gaze on him in spite of Alaska's presence. Alaska had walked away and was now slowly strolling towards the gate. It was an indication that she should be calling off the discussion for home.

"Well, I don't really get your point...all the same; must I go on acknowledging every stranger I met on the road?"

"That's not the issue," "Then what is it?"

"You knew better. You could distinguish between someone's look of admiration from that of a total stranger passing by?"

"How do I know every look of admiration is worth the attention? A mad person could stare at you with admiration,"

She considered him for some seconds and smiled.

He could feel the tension in the air. Everyone sat uncomfortably quiet pretending to be busy while listening out on them. He was aware of the visible embarrassing looks of jealousy on Alaska's face. He was putting on great effort to control his emotions. It was obvious, no boy or man would be happy to see his prided girlfriend hitting on another boy or man at first sight in his presence. It all calls for maturity to handle a relationship. It is not all about fear for control. It is all about tolerance and understanding. How could you mean you have got a girl and she is in love with another right under your nose!

Alaska could not bear the direction the innocent discussion was heading in. He could not stand the fact that his girl was having a crush on Kelvin. Tracy had seen this as an open opportunity. She was willing to give it a try. She wants to make the best out of the rare opportunity to talk to him. It was something she presumably had been denied for too long. This was her chance. It could present her with a possibility.

Kelvin began to feel uneasy too at the turn of the event. She made her way straight to his side and sat down. Was she to be blamed? She just wanted to see how it feels to be by his side; her idol of crush.

"Tracy! Shall we?" came the visibly annoyed Alaska. He could sense that the situation was really getting out of hand.

"Yes Alaska, am coming," she replied acknowledged his presence for the first time. It took her some precious moment to decide her next move. She reluctantly stood up slowly and climbed down the pavements. "Would you mind if I bring my picture for a portrait?" She suggestively asked as she gently strolled towards Alaska.

"Until I see you and the picture," Kelvin replied without looking up from his work.

It was sometime after the foundation program that Kelvin got wind of how the relationship between the trio; Jane, Tracy, and Alaska ended. It was in his second year at the high institution that his colleague Bukas informed him on what really took place.

One certain afternoon, Jane had paid Alaska a surprised visit to the lodge. She had entered the room and discovered Tracy in his apartment. Yes, she discovered that he was really going out with her despite his constant assurance that it was not true. As the story was told, a free for all fight broke out in Alaska's apartment between Alaska, Tracy, and Jane. Every item owned by the lover boy was used as a weapon against him. The fight brought to a climax the whole affairs. Alaska lost all two of his girlfriends. All his dearly efforts to restore them came to naught; the end for Mr. Lover boy. For some time, he went about a really brokenhearted-boyish-boy.

Some of Kelvin's friends had on many occasions bitterly complained to him that they don't feel comfortable with the effects he has on their girls. They could not just comprehend the reason why their girls would get lovesick just because of him.

He still recalls what took place one certain evening while waiting for an evening lecture. A colleague of his by the name of Nonso from the department of environmental science, looking visibly worried came to him to inquire about the whereabouts of his girlfriend. To be honest he was in actuality embarrassed.

"Are you out of your mind?" He'd asked him after he'd repeated himself.

"Don't tell me you haven't seen her,"

"No, please, who's she? Is she in my department?"

He merely looked at him, with those quizzical looks that would ask you, "Do you think you can pull my legs for the fun of it?"

"Kelvin, I just don't get it and won't tolerate any of your pranks. Don't pretend to me that you never heard that Ngozi is my girl,"

"For goodness' sake, please if you'd taken something kindly do me a favor. Let me be in peace. Have you ever introduced any girl to me as your friend? When did you start seeing me as a girlfriend snatcher...please, I am in no mood for this entire rabblerousing,"

Kelvin couldn't just imagine what was really happening. In the first place, nobody was happy with the way the lecturer had postponed the afternoon lecture for an evening period. To make the situation really annoying it was the weekend; on a Friday and already four in the evening, yet there was no sign of the lecturer. Everyone was confused as no one had communicated to them pertaining to the possibility of the lecture holding or not.

In that uneasy mood, someone just came in to add salt to the injury with an inquiry of an unknown identity that he hadn't really known. Sincerely speaking, he tried to keep his cool; trying to take the whole scene as quietly as he could. It puzzled him that someone could come out boldly and rudely imply that he was having a secret affair with his girl whom he hadn't known yet.

"Kelvin,"

"Please, Nonso, I just can't entertain you anymore. If you can't keep your house in order stop looking for an excuse or someone to make a scapegoat,"

"Kelvin, I knew that she'd been confiding in you everything about the rows between us,"

Kelvin felt the sharp sting of the accusation. Still, he made effort to keep his cool and surprisingly forced a smile on his face to relax his nerves.

"Nonso, could you just come out in the clear and tell me exactly what is the problem with you and who exactly the Ngozi―your girlfriend is. I want to know how you came to the conclusion that I'd been seeing her secretly. Could you please do me that favor? Frankly speaking, I don't really seem to comprehend it all,"

"I didn't say you've been seeing her secretly. You yourself just said it,"

"Ok...fine, why are you here? Why are you asking me about her whereabouts if your sinister mind isn't construing negative thoughts? Why do you think I should be privy on her whereabouts order than you her lover-boy?"

That really brought the whole tension down and he was really relieved. It turned out that the whole problem had started the day he paid him an unscheduled visit to his apartment to retrieve his drawing instruments which Nonso had earlier borrowed from him and hadn't yet returned.

On getting there, he had met him in the company of a girl in his apartment. After the formal pleasantries, he had disclosed his unannounced cause of call and Nonso readily thanked Kelvin for his patience. Kelvin needed the drawing instruments because a class quiz was scheduled to be held the following morning. It was on a technical drawing subject.

He did introduce the girl to him but not as his girlfriend and that was the first and last time, he met the girl in his apartment. Not a formal knowledge did he have as to whether the two were that close. Sometimes, though he meets her on the way. They usually exchange greetings from time to time. It was as if they had known for a while―that though was not unusual. Kelvin simply hadn't the time to start checking or taking notice of who was a girlfriend or a boyfriend to whom. That would be rather silly enough if he should take that to be his priority.

As it turned out, he had caught the attention of Nonso's girl right from the day he met her in his company at his apartment. Right from that day onwards, she'd been asking after him unwittingly disclosing to him his feelings for Kelvin.

Nonso later narrated to Kelvin that it got to an extent that she started asking him why he doesn't pay Kelvin a visit which he knew he does though not in her company. It all implied that she would be too glad to accompany him to where Kelvin lives. That was the genesis of mistrust between the two and finally, it had spilled over to him the cause of the problem. Kelvin took all these were out of sheer jealousy. Now and then, he would attempt to find out if in any way he had unintentionally contributed to the developments.

"Kelvin, earnestly speaking, I would give you that benefit of the doubt. However, I would still not exonerate you completely," came the salient voices in him.

"How do you mean?"

"You're quite aware of the psychological impact a girl feels when she is ignored or rather snubbed. You simply killed her. The female folks thrive with attention,"

"I don't think I have anything to answer for that,"

"You do Kelvin. In fact, that's the very area where the conflict emanates from,"

"I just don't get you,"

"It's not as easy to be explained. I do agree with you. Because most of the attentions were not your makings.

But deliberately snubbing at every look of admirations is not the best way to handle it. I must say, you remember these are natural. Not every look of admiration is harmful. Some might be genuine, sincere, and innocent, others might not be,"

"I do agree with you but how am I to discern which is not harmful. Must I have to investigate each of them before I could really discern which is worth the attention? Would that not make me a flirtatious kind of person?"

"I know how you feel. All the same, that doesn't call for such a hostile attitude of snubbing at them as if they'd offended you previously. That wouldn't be fair, especially for what you stand for and uphold. Remember, they too are human beings like you. Even if they live a life different from yours, they could still come out useful. Change is a permanent thing. People can make a total turnaround towards a better life in the future. Would you not be happy to see them on the same side as you in the future? Every human deserves to be given a sense of belonging. That can only happen if you give them a chance,"

"You're making me look callous. You know am not a bit that?"

"Not really Kelvin. We humans many times hastily get engrossed deeply in our personal point of view of a particular matter. We end up ignoring either deliberately. In so many instances, out of ignorance, we deny our self the need to take a balanced and objective view of the real situation. Sometimes too, it might be that we simply found ourselves in an awkward position. That can make us act out of desperation by trying to protect the little of self-dignity and self-relevance in us. We overreact to some situations that we in oblivion deny ourselves the good which could come out of it if we handled it with a deep sense of maturity. Take a close look at these colleagues of yours.

Most of them, even though they don't share your faith and views, do admire it. They simply found you a wonderful company to be with. They can't resist being with you, talking to you. Though caution should be your watchword I knew that you wouldn't find it funny if everyone decides to ignore or the worst snub at you when you're just being sincere with them. Would you?"

"I wish I could bring my mind completely to your point of view. You are quite correct I must admit. I can't bring myself.... I mean...you know what I mean?"

"You have to Kelvin or at least make a try. I knew you inside out as a caring person. You share fellow-feeling, kind and compassionate person. All you need is to get rid of you this poor orientation that everything that has to do with the opposite sex had to do with promiscuity or immorality. You're enslaved to that ideology. Can't you see that it even affects your ability to interact with even some who share your faith?"

"But these girls are always filled with fun things in their minds. I just can't give away any false impressions. I just can't go on repeating myself,"

"Is that why you are, if I may say, emotionally distant? I understood your feelings. I knew too well that sometimes you make commendable moves to right the wrongs by extending your warm arms of companionship as possibly as you could. But you make things worse by withdrawing instantly away from your efforts. Why? You're afraid of making a mistake? Or being found out compromised?"

"You want me to go on to give someone an impression, which was never meant?"

"Because you rarely do what you ought to do and that's why whenever you do them, all ears would want to hear it and all eyes to see it. Can't you see what I mean? You're not feeling free. You're inhibiting yourself. This is not the real you. You're living a life of another person's script. I wonder who is writing that script for you. There's nothing better than living your real-life free from the fear of making a mistake. Whether you like it or not, you're bound to make it. When you make a mistake and learn from it, you grow,"

"I don't want to make a costly mistake that will burn my conscience with guilt. I prefer to trade cautiously,"

"Of course, that's right. But you need not be living in the fear of making a mistake. Does that not make you pretend to be the real you? Was that the real reason behind you making yourself inaccessible and distant? So what do you expect a girl who surprisingly caught your rare attention to do? I think you would want to play around with her? No! She would be instantly be celebrating her fortune. Can't you see what you mean to all these people? Don't think I am just trying to flirt with your feelings and ego. I am laying down the fact for you. There are some things about you that make them comfortable and rave for you. I can't say for sure if it were your looks; your sober human looks or just the way you are. There's this air of self-confidence and a sense of responsibility in you that draws them to you. For whatever it was that draws their attention to you, just try to be a friend. There's no harm in being a friend to someone or a person of the opposite sex,"

"I will do something about it,"